SEAL Team Seven Tyler: Book 4

by Silver, Jordan

  Why did I have to be so hard? I thought I could shut myself off, thought I could go through life without ever feeling, without giving anything more than I was willing to give. But this I felt down to the very depths of my soul; like I said, a really fucked up time to see the light.

  “I’m going to move you now baby, I’ll try not to hurt you.” I took my time even though everything in me wanted to hurry and get her out of there. I didn’t want to lay her on the dirty floor long enough to find something to cover her up with, but in the end I had no choice.

  I left her there so that I could find what I needed to put around her and really took stock of my surroundings for the first time. She’d put up a hell of a fight from the looks of things, but having heard that fucker described a time or two, I knew her five two frame was no match for that fucking behemoth. We’ll just see how the fuck he holds up under my fists when I get ahold of him.

  Wrapping her in the filthy blanket off the bed in the torn up room, I walked out of there with her cradled in my arms. She had her face buried in my neck and the sounds she made tore at my heart, each one sounding like an accusation.

  People were out of their rooms by then, probably heard my earlier roar. I ignored everyone and everything as I spoke to her calmly, reassuringly.

  No one looked too hard as I made my exit; most of them were probably more interested in their next high than what was going on around them. At least that’s how it appeared to me.

  There weren’t that many people around outside this time of day and I’d planned ahead, parking behind the hotel out of the way. The maid, Maria, had been instructed to leave the back door slightly ajar and to keep anyone from back there while I did my thing.

  The only people I passed were a few older men and women going about their business. Maria was standing watch when I got there and I nodded my thanks as I reminded myself to really thank her later.

  I didn’t want anyone sounding the alarm until I had gotten her away from this place, so I hurried even though I knew she was jarred with each step. I didn’t forget what I’d been told, how that fucker had threatened anyone who came to her rescue. I didn’t want someone getting itchy fingers and making that call.

  She didn’t need to be caught in the middle of whatever the fuck was going to come down behind this, and I was a hundred and fifty percent sure that something would. If he didn’t start it I sure the fuck would.

  I had to protect her now, keep her safe at all cost. Not only because she was a helpless female, but because of the promise that she could’ve been mine. No I hadn’t given into her shy invitations the handful of times we’d been in the same room. But the connection had been made, the call had been sent out even if I hadn’t answered.

  Only one day ago she’d been giving me shit, and as much as I played it off, she’d been wearing me down, but I couldn’t give in too easily. My brothers were dropping like flies in the love department, and that’s some shit I try to avoid at all cost.

  I had no place in my life for that bullshit, no matter how sweet my family made it look; not to mention the fact that they all seemed to have lost their fucking minds behind it.

  They made it look good I have to admit, and seeing her with my niece had given me a few starts the last day or so. But it wasn’t a good idea, or at least it hadn’t been yesterday.

  Today though, that shit had been turned on its ass. Seeing her so broken and near fucking death was a little more than a wakeup call. It was like someone standing over me with a bullhorn drumming this shit into my head. I could’ve lost her.

  I couldn’t think about that shit now either, because it was too close to the other, first things first. I had to get her to safety before I made my next move. I had barely enough control left to do that shit.

  I double-checked that all was clear before taking her to the jeep and laying her in the backseat. I made sure she was comfortable, before closing the door again and climbing into the driver’s seat.

  There was nowhere to go but my place. I wasn’t sure how far of a reach the bastard had, and I wasn’t about to trust anyone else with her care. So I headed back to the compound instead of the nearest hospital.

  My mind was already racing ahead to what I had to do once I got her there. I was finally able, now that I had her out of there and we were in the clear, to think again.

  I’m the tech guru of our little outfit but all of us knew how to patch up the human body. And thinking that my mind went to my other worry, what was now my biggest fear.

  I know I had what I needed to patch her back up physically, but what about mentally? How the fuck was I gonna do that when all of this could’ve been avoided had I been man enough to take what the fuck I wanted instead of running and hiding?

  Bitch made, that was my fond epithet for my brothers, but it seems it was more suitable to me. At least they had the nuts to go after what they wanted even after all the shit they’d seen.

  I was the one who’d been hiding from life, thinking I could outlive my demons but I can’t, they’d finally caught up with me, and then some. And an innocent had paid the price.

  ***

  Chapter 6

  Tyler

  I kept my hand on her as we drove through the quiet streets; she seemed to need the contact as much as I did. Now that she was out of there and I had eyes on her I could breathe easier.

  Still I fought back the bitter anger that threatened to crawl up my throat with each moment that passed. Every once in a while I would say something soothing to her, but her deathly silence was beginning to worry me.

  Was it because she was hurt, or because she blamed me? And why not? I blame myself. I couldn’t help thinking that that last night she’d been at the compound had I been more receptive she wouldn’t be broken now.

  Why had she been there, what had happened between the time she left us and ending up in an animal’s hands? Where did they take her? Had she even made it home? So many questions.

  Shit, I didn’t even know if she had any family, anyone I should call to let them know that I had her. It seemed strange that I didn’t know. But that just goes to show how much of an asshole I’d been about this whole thing.

  I knew there was danger afoot in the town and even if I hadn’t been interested in what she had to offer, which is a damn lie the least I could’ve done was research her background and make sure she was straight. I’ve done that shit for people who mattered less.

  My gut was burning and my eyes were getting wet, that’s never a good fucking thing. It meant I was at that point. “Baby can you hear me?” I squeezed her thigh as I steered the car with the other hand, taking the corner nice and slow so as not to jar her any more than was necessary.

  My heart, that block of ice that had only started to melt here lately, was in turmoil. For a man who prided himself on always being on top of shit, always in control, this whole day was a fucking nightmare.

  I now realized why we worked so well as a unit, it was because we fed off of each other’s strengths my brothers and I. This shit right here isn’t my strong suit. I was in no way equipped to deal with this fuckery.

  This is the kind of bullshit you settle with a bullet, end of fucking story. But I couldn’t do that now, had to take care of mine first. Patience, I was gonna have to tap into my reserves for that one.

  She wasn’t answering me, wasn’t even making those hurt noises anymore. It’s like she’d waited long enough to be rescued, to then disappear in her head. And that I knew was a dangerous fucking thing.

  Keep talking to her Tyler, where’s your fucking training? I took a deep breath and dug down deep for my valued control.

  I tried to hold on to the picture of her smiling face as she laughed at something one of the others had said when they were riding my ass, but it wasn’t really working.

  I had a quick slideshow running through my head of each and everyone of our encounters; from the first day we met ‘til now. From that first jolt of recognition, which was probably the thing that had scared m
e most. I’d seen it in her, felt those first stirrings of what could be.

  I searched my heart as I drove, finally able to push the scars aside to see beneath to the person who could give her what she wanted, what she’d been begging me for with her eyes since the first day we met.

  I hadn’t seen it before, that ability in me, hadn’t wanted to; I was too afraid to look too deep. Now she laid there broken all to shit and my world was fucked.

  I choked back the raw emotion and cleared the lump in my throat. “You’re going to be okay, I’m taking you home, somewhere safe where I can help you.” Her breath hitched but that was the only indication that she was even awake, or that she heard me.

  She looked small and lost as she huddled into herself like she was expecting another blow. How long had she been beaten, and why? Not that it fucking mattered, but I like to know what I’m dealing with no matter that I’d already made up my mind that this fucker was living on borrowed time anyway.

  As far as I know, she’s never been involved in anything that would cause this. I had a fleeting thought that this may have something to do with what my brothers and I were digging into.

  What if she’d been seen coming and going from our place and that’s why she’d been taken? The thought left me cold. That couldn’t be it, why would it be? We didn’t have any dealings with this Carson guy, our paths never crossed so this couldn’t have anything…

  My mind was suddenly full of what-ifs. Fuck! I almost ran off the road at my next thought. I wanted to ask her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Please not that. I could bear anything else but that.

  My hand tightened on the steering wheel as I tried to come to grips with the possibility that she had been violated in the worse possible way.

  If that shit turns out to be true, there isn’t a hole big enough for this fucker to hide in. And his death, instead of a bullet, will be something more horrifying than I guess even he could’ve dreamed up.

  That’s when I started praying. I haven’t done that in too long to count. Not since I was a kid who believed in such things.

  Not even when I was faced with some of the worse of what the world had to throw at me did I resort to calling on the God that I had long turned my back on once He’d turned his on me.

  But for her I did.

  ***

  Chapter 7

  Tyler

  “Baby can you hear me?” Her silence was beginning to scare the shit outta me. I’ve seen more than my share of traumatized people in my life, and I know that the next few hours can make a difference in the way she heals.

  It didn’t matter what she’d been through no matter how horrible, I couldn’t let her disappear in her head, couldn’t let her escape there though it might seem like the best thing for her.

  I didn’t want her blaming herself the way I did all these years, for something that was no fault of hers. Something a monster had brought about. Of all the things I would’ve shared with her, my legacy wasn’t one of them.

  How fucked was it that we now had this in common? That for the rest of our lives these memories will be a part of her, just as I’d carried mine all these years?

  Right then and there I made a promise to myself, no matter what it takes, I’ll get her through this. I was through running, I hope to fuck I wasn’t too late. Fuck that no!

  “I won’t let you go again, not fucking ever.” She probably didn’t want to hear this now, probably could give a shit after what the fuck she’d been through. But with all my experience, I’d never had a love one on the other end of this shit. Not since I was too young to do anything about it anyway.

  Once, long ago…no Tyler, don’t go back there, not now. You’ll lose your shit for sure then. But I had the feeling that I wasn’t going to be able to hide from that particular shadow much longer.

  I’d locked that shit away for a long time. Hid it behind duty and anything that would take me away from what was inside my head, but it looked like I’d reached the end of the road.

  With all that had been going on lately this was now at the top of my list of priorities. Making sure that she was okay first, and then taking care of this scumbag. I wasn’t too pleased that it seemed more and more like our women were coming under fire.

  First the girls had that little run-in the other day on the beach, then learning that Vanessa had been taken by that fuck in the desert…

  What the fuck was it with our women and danger? Our women. Now you do this shit Ty? You’re such a monumental fuck up. Talk about bitch made, you’re the biggest bitch of them all.

  At least the others had the balls to man the fuck up, and you, what did you do? Ran like a fucking little girl and drove her into this shit.

  Why didn’t you stop her, and why the fuck did life always throw this shit at us? Had I known twenty-four hours ago what I do now I would’ve never let her walk off the compound yesterday. But of course that’s always the way isn’t it?

  I looked over my shoulder at her. Was it only yesterday that she was giving me looks while my brothers gave me shit on the sly? Making her laugh and take even more potshots at my poor head? That sweet, infectious laugh that haunted me in my dreams.

  My heart hurt when I recalled her sweet smile as she held the baby. The way she’d looked over her head at me with that look of longing in her eyes. The look that almost had me throwing in the towel. Why didn’t you-you fuck?

  I remembered too the way the guys and even my sisters had kept shaking their heads at me as though I were a lost cause. Why is it that everyone knew but me? Why did I think I could watch her walk away and life would go on as usual?

  All of these questions and more plagued me as I drove through the gates of home. I’d had to make sure no one was following us though it took more time, and that there were no surprises.

  I went through the back so that I wouldn’t alert the girls to our return, not yet. I needed to clean her up a little first. When I was sure the coast was clear I took her into the house and stood for a lost moment in the doorway not quite sure what to do, before deciding to take her to my bed.

  I laid her down gently and removed the blanket as easily as I could without jarring her too much. She barely uttered a sound as I sat next to her, and the pitiful way she curled into herself was heartbreaking.

  I kept my face schooled as I took in her condition, before leaving the room to get what I needed. She made a sound of distress as I got up to leave, but I had to get her taken care of and what I needed was in the bathroom.

  “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart, just be brave for me a little bit longer.” I was surprised that I could get the words past the lump in my throat. I was even more surprised that I sounded like any other rational human being, when inside I felt like anything but.

  I got what I needed out of the medicine cabinet and went back to her. I didn’t know where to start she was such a bloody mess. So I took one of her little hands and tried cleaning her up the best I could.

  Her eyes were black and swollen, her lip was swollen but not split and she was favoring her ribs a bit. I took it all in while my hands trembled uncontrollably for the first time in my life and my guts were tied in knots. Every wince, every whimper, I felt down to my soul.

  I tried once again to remove myself from the situation just as I would’ve done in combat, until I got the job done, but it wasn’t working here either. It seems that with her all my barriers were down.

  That’s one of the things that convinced me more than any other that I was in serious trouble. I know me all too well, knew what the rising tidal wave inside of me meant, and didn’t fight it this time. I’d fought long enough it seemed. Now I just gave in and metaphorically laid down at her feet.

  ***

  I didn’t realize I was crooning to her as I took care of her, the way I’d learned to do with Zakira when she needed settling. I looked down at her poor abused face, trying to find the laughing, flirty young girl who had caught my eye, but who I was too chicken shit to acknowledge.


  Why was it so easy to let myself feel now, when I had fought it from the beginning? Now when it might be too late I accepted the fact that none of it mattered, that I had been a blind fool these past coupla weeks.

  I wasn’t in the market for what she was selling, or so I’d told myself. I didn’t want what my brothers seemed hell bent for leather to find. That shit just wasn’t for me, though some days I yearned.

  I knew though that if I was ever going to take the plunge it would be with her. But I wasn’t there yet and didn’t know if I would ever be, until right now.

  I’d rebuffed her at every turn; anyone else would probably have given up long ago. Maybe the third or fourth time I’d turned away from her. I told myself I was giving her every opportunity to move on, to find someone else more suitable, even though the thought almost killed me.

  She’d tried though; even though she’d played it subtle, there was no mistaking what she’d been up to. But no matter how hard she made my dick I wasn’t about to go there.

  I hadn’t been rude or anything like that, but I knew she got the message loud and clear. The boys had noticed her interest from day one and had had a few laughs at my expense. But there was no give in me; at least not where anyone else could see. Inside it had been a different matter though.

  I don’t know, maybe I thought I had time, or that she wasn’t going anywhere and I could get around to it if I changed my mind. That baggage I was lugging around wasn’t meant for two, I couldn’t ask anyone to live with the darkness that was inside of me.

  That’s the story I’ve been telling myself all along. But this shit just changed my whole fucking game in the space of an hour. All my hard won resolve, the building blocks, the wall I’d created around my heart and anything I perceived to be a weakness in me, had come tumbling down. Hadn’t even put up much of a fight when it came down to it.

  I hated that it had taken this to open my fucking eyes, but it had, no use looking back, yesterday was long gone. Now I just have to look forward, look ahead, and pick up the pieces from this mess if she’d let me…