by S. M. West
“Hey.” Daisy pops her head around the corner, smiling, and it never gets old. Every time I see her, just being near her gets me in the heart. It’s both thrilling and calming all at the same time.
“We’re going to have that dinner you talked about. I hope you’re hungry.”
This isn’t the dinner I had in mind. A fancy restaurant, candlelight, the two of us—that’s more what I envisioned but this is still great. She doesn’t get out that often. Neither of us do, and I wanted it to be special.
Well, we’ll have both, but I don’t want to scare her with that conversation right now.
“I’m starving.” I pat my middle, happy to see her. “I’ll help.”
“I’ve got it.” She slips back into the kitchen, and suddenly, I’m transfixed by the glimpse of her toned, sun-kissed legs.
My place is small, and her humming filters through to the washroom as I clean up. I’m rarely here in my one-bedroom Malibu beach home, usually only to sleep or change. And even though we’re mostly at her place—it’s bigger and easier with all of Henry’s things there—Daisy has a key to my home. What’s mine is hers.
“So you just decided to come and cook for me?” I saunter into the galley kitchen and she’s at the stove, swaying her hips to the music in her head, long blonde waves swishing across her back.
“Yes, we haven’t really spent any time together in days.” She turns in tiny cut-off denim shorts and a sheer pink blouse. The outline of her black bra teases me. “Dinner sounded like a great idea.”
“Awesome.” An easy smile feathers across my face, and I scan the open concept room, with the kitchen spilling into what is both the dining room and living room. “Where’s Henry?”
“He’s, um, he’s spending the night with Silas and Pansy.” She averts her gaze, staring into the pot.
“Oh?” My brows rise.
I started my day with Henry, watching him for a few hours while Daisy worked and Pansy had class. It isn’t unusual for him to be with her sister but it is for Daisy to have not brought him here.
Sometimes he stays over at Pansy’s if she’s got a deadline for work, but if that’s the case now, why is she here, making me dinner?
“Did I forget you’re on deadline or something? I mean, I can always watch him.”
“No, no, nothing like that. I wanted the two of us to talk, have dinner like you mentioned, and I thought this would give us the chance.” She stirs and lifts the fork toward me with a mound of fluffy basmati rice. “Taste. Does it need anything? Salt?”
“Hmmm.” I chew, inhaling the spicy flavors of the sea and earth. “It’s great. Stir fry shrimp?” I peer into the wok on the other burner. Plump coral shrimp simmer in a light sauce of onions, garlic, yellow and red tomatoes, zucchini, and corn.
“Uh-huh.”
“Looks good.” I lick my lips and she looks on, apprehension clouding her features.
“Why don’t you settle in, get changed or whatever.” She flits about picking up and putting down a dish towel. “Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”
“Okay. Let me set the table. You want wine?”
“Sure.” She nods, attention back on the stove, and I lean in to kiss her cheek, squeezing her waist.
Not long after, we sit to eat at a small table shoved against a wall of the room. She’s lit a candle, and soft music filters through the speakers.
My place is a bachelor pad and not that well put together. Sparsely furnished with a mishmash of things, most people would hardly believe a famous musician lives here. I’m not one for décor and would rather spend my money on family or where I spend the majority of my time, and that isn’t here.
Daisy loves it because the beach is in walking distance and my bedroom has a magnificent view of the Pacific Ocean. I’d readily switch places with her so she and Henry could have their ocean. I own it outright, but it’s too small for the both of them. Only one bedroom, one bathroom.
“This is delicious. Thanks, Daze.” A forkful of rice, veggies, and shrimp goes into my mouth. The plate’s almost empty as I devour the food, not realizing how hungry I was.
“You’re welcome. The last week or so has been so busy, and it feels like we’re in contact every day but it’s about planning for Henry or just checking in with each other, and while the award dinner is in a couple of nights, I just thought…”
Her chin lowers as does her gaze and the fork to the plate. She fidgets, tapping out a rapid rhythm with her foot against the floor. She’s nervous. Why?
“What?” My fingers entwine with hers, and I tighten my grip until she meets my eyes. “I feel the same way. It has been hectic, and the awards dinner doesn’t count as time together. That night is going to be busy, and you’ll be mingling and, in some ways, working.”
“Oh, ugh, when you put it like that I don’t want to go.” She laughs. “Do you still want to be my plus one, knowing all that?”
“Absolutely.” I put down my knife and fork. “Just so you know, as much as I love this meal”—with my elbow, I nudge the now empty plate away—“this isn’t the kind of dinner I was talking about when I asked you out at Pansy’s.”
Eyes dazzling and confusion coloring her cheeks and wrinkling her brow, she cocks her head to one side. “What do you mean?”
“Daze, I did a shitty job of it, but I was asking you out on a date.” Wow, I’m really doing this, telling her how I feel.
I won’t stop and contemplate how this could ruin our friendship. What it will mean if she recoils at my confession, at how I’ve always wanted more with her.
The thought is paralyzing and while a massive risk, baring my soul after three years of family and friendship and possibly bringing a world of hurt and pain…I can’t live my life like that.
Regrets are my demon. I have a lifetime of regrets for what I should have done in my childhood. For how my indecision, despite my age, caused irreparable damage and loss. I won’t let Daisy and Henry be another regret. Even if it means destroying my heart.
“You were?” She straightens but doesn’t pull away, and I take the moment to gather every ounce of courage within me.
“Yes. You said you were ready to date.” My pulse quickens. “And I didn’t want to lose my chance.”
“Your chance?” She smiles tentatively, tongue darting out to lick at her ripe, rosy lips.
I want to nibble on her smile, and my fingers ache to touch her flaxen tresses. Pushing back from the table, I slide my chair nearer to her, closing the distance, and our knees are now touching.
Swallowing, I hold her gaze steady with mine. “Yes. I don’t want to freak you out—”
“You won’t.” The words tumble from her mouth on a breathy exhale, and it’s like she’s connected with me more so than at any other time this evening.
I can’t explain it, but there’s a sense she already knows what I’m about to confess. In fact, she may want me to say it, to declare my true feelings.
“Daisy, I can’t remember a time when you weren’t a big part of my life.” There’s no going back now and she sucks in a ragged breath. “It’s always been you. You became my best friend overnight and your son…the first time I laid eyes on him—he stole my heart. I swear.” A shaky hand rakes through my mess of hair. “It sounds corny but it’s true. And every day with the both of you is a gift. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. You’re my family.”
Something shifts in her gaze, a flash that causes her shoulders to deflate, and I’ve lost her. That connection is gone and when she speaks, the sensation of loss doubles.
“Oh.” Just one word but it carries so much meaning. A weighty disappointment.
What was it? My use of friendship? Or family? I have the distinct impression she is taking something completely different from what I’ve said.
“No, I don’t think you get it. Yes, you’re my best friend and family, but you’ve always felt like more to me. More than platonic, more than…you’re everything to me. Do you understand what I mean?”
/> She nods, flushes, and then her head switches to shaking side to side as she releases a jagged puff of air.
“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be clueless, I just don’t want to get this wrong.” Trembling, her wobbly smile twists my stomach into knots. “You’re important to me too, and I… I’ve…”
Ending our misery, I cup the sides of her face and draw mine closer to hers. Sugar and spice invade my senses.
Delicious.
Her scent isn’t easy to describe. Fresh, feminine, rich…and sultry.
My smile spreads with every intake of breath, her scent filling all of me. “Words are clearly failing me, both of us, so let’s try this.”
I brush my lips softly against her sweet, warm mouth, easing her into a kiss. I can’t even begin to remember how many times I imagined tasting her.
Daisy shivers, slowly licking my bottom lip until I open for her. She grabs the back of my neck, and goosebumps spread down my spine. Our tongues tangle.
She tastes like Shangri-la. A never-never land of utter perfection and bliss.
Still too far apart, she squeals as I hoist her onto my lap and her silky thighs straddle me. Hands firmly on her waist, my thumbs languidly sweep in an arcing motion across her lower abdomen, not daring to roam any farther. I want to, damn I do, but if I venture any more than this, I’ll lose control.
Our mouths plunder and ravage, countless kisses, over and over again, and I can’t say how long we sit like that. Hot and frantic, slow and sweet, we are tongues and teeth and stealing…everything—our breaths, moans, heartbeats, all of it.
Finally, I pull back, panting, struggling not to cave to the urge to keep going. Her kisses blow my mind, my head spins, and my need for her intensifies. I press my forehead against hers, catching my breath.
“Gray.” Soft hands rest on my cheeks, thumbs gliding over my stubble. “Why did you stop?”
The confusion and plea to her tone and the push and roll of her hips, pressing her core into my groin, does wild things to my heartbeat, stopping and starting all in the same second.
Holy sweet mother. My toes curl.
She tugs on my face, trying to recapture my mouth, and I force myself to push away, needing the space to think straight.
Hands on her hips, I lift her off me and only let go once I’m certain she’s steady on her feet. She watches my every move, bewildered and irked.
“What are we doing?” Frustration carries her voice and I meet her heated stare.
“What do you think we’re doing?” I ask, not to be difficult but needing to hear her say the words.
“We’re finally admitting our feelings for each other.” Even as she hits the nail on the head, there’s a dissatisfaction to her countenance.
“Yes. I want us to…argh, date sounds wrong but I want us to explore more of a relationship. We already have the friendship, shared lives, our love of Henry…”
“I want that too.” Cautiously, she steps toward me as if she doesn’t want to scare me off. I was the one to back away but not because of doubts. Never.
She pulls at my wrist, and I relent, edging closer, needing her as much as she needs me. Her hands slide around the nape of my neck, and a rush of blood rages through my body.
Her mouth covers mine and this time, I’m the one to slip my tongue between her sugary lips, sliding across her teeth. Tasting her is my new favorite thing.
Daisy whimpers into my mouth, and her sound slams into my chest and tightens my balls. Her fingernails dig into my neck, piercing the flesh, and the mix of pleasure and pain is the sweetest perfection.
“Hey.” My lips rip from hers and she groans, exasperated. “We’ve got plenty of time. If we keep going, I won’t be able to stop.”
“That’s the point. I don’t want you to stop. I want you, Gray.”
I grunt as every word out of her mouth brings a hedonistic delight and sheer agony. “Daze, I’m trying to do this right. We should take this slow.”
Burying her head into my neck, she gives me a quick kiss and steps back. “Yes, you’re right. Okay. So now what?” She prances around the small room, wrapping her arms around her middle like she doesn’t know what to do with them.
“We could watch something.” I glance at the loveseat, and images of Daisy and me entangled in each other flicker through my mind. Nope, bad idea. I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself. “Or we could go for a walk.”
As if reading my mind, she nods vigorously. “Yes, a walk sounds good.”
We take the back door that leads onto the beach, and Daisy stops me on the step. The outdoor light shines down on us so we can see each other’s faces.
“Gray, what if this changes everything?” Lowering her eyes, the tips of her lashes, an almost white-blonde, fan the crest of her cheeks.
“It will.” I’m solemn but confident in my tone.
“But what if—” She stops talking when I press my thumb into her bottom lip and her chest heaves.
“I believe in us. We’re already great together. Just think about the new ways we get to learn about each other. Deepen our relationship.” I raise a brow and offer a lopsided grin in hopes of lessening her fears.
She lets out an infectious laugh, causing me to chuckle as the hint of tightness loosens in my chest.
“I can’t wait.” One quick kiss and she takes my hand, pulling me onto the sand toward the water’s edge.
The night is cool, and the hypnotic sound of the waves lulls us into a comfortable silence as we walk hand in hand under the milky glow of the half moon.
“India asked me to play drums on her new album.” It comes out as a blurt more than a statement.
I wanted to tell Daisy sooner, but I wasn’t sure which way I was leaning. I’m still not decided, and time is running out. India needs an answer tomorrow.
“Really?” At first, she’s silent and I wonder if she’s concerned about India or if it’s more. Then she steps in front of me, releasing my hand to bring hers to my face. “Gray, this is great. You love the drums, and it’s been too long since you’ve really played.”
Her fingers glide across my cheekbones, and her touch lights me on fire. I stifle a groan, shifting uncomfortably as my jeans tighten.
“Yeah, I’m honored she asked me. I mean, the songs are brilliant, and the album’s going to do well, but I’ve got SG Productions and you and Henry to think about.”
“What are you talking about? Working on the album is for SG; I don’t get the problem there. And as for Henry and me, we won’t hold you back.”
“Daze, if we’re recording an album, you know what that’s like. The days are long, and I won’t have the flexibility I have now to watch Henry.”
“It’s okay. I’ll figure something out.” She worries her bottom lip. “You know what this means, right?”
“What?”
“No more excuses, I have to find a nanny.” She casts a far-off glance out at sea, maybe putting together the list of things she has to do to make that happen.
“Let me do that…” I slide an arm around her waist, bringing her into my chest. “I kind of already got started.”
“Seriously?” She tilts her head to look up at me, wrinkling her brow.
“Yeah, I called an agency a few days ago. They’re sending candidates we can choose from to interview.”
“Gray, this is my problem. You shouldn’t have done this.”
“Well, I have.” I ignore the reproach in her tone. “Only to help.”
“I know…and thank you, but next time talk to me first. I keep meaning to do it and somehow it gets pushed to the side. It’s like I’m deliberately putting it off.”
Her vulnerability slips past her reproving veneer, giving me an explanation for her disappointed reaction.
“Because it’ll change what your days look like with Henry but not by much. You won’t see him less.” I rest my chin on the top of her head, and she burrows deeper into my embrace.
“I guess you’re right. You should do th
e album. When would you start?” Her voice is soft and definitive.
“Two days.”
“And you haven’t said anything to India yet?”
“Well, I did tell her I had a few people willing to do it if I decided not to. I’ll tell her tomorrow.”
“Good.” She squeezes my hand. “And I’ll see if Lucia can pitch in and help with Henry just for the next little bit.”
“Hey, even if I’m recording, I want to see him every day. And you. I’ll make that clear to India before I agree to anything.”
“You better,” she teases, spinning in my arms to face me.
“What are you doing tomorrow night?”
“I’m editing all day so it’s my schedule to make. Why?”
“Go to dinner with me?” Guilt gnaws at me when I think of Henry. “I want to take you out, but since Henry isn’t here now, we could have dinner with him and then hang out once he’s asleep.”
The gleam of the pale moon reveals a sexy grin, playing on her lips. “No way. I’m with Henry for most of the day tomorrow, and you’re still seeing him for a few hours in the morning, right?” I nod and she curls her fingers around my waist. “So yes, I want to go to dinner with you. Is this a date-date?”
Her gaze is soft and hazy, hopeful, and I press my lips to hers. “You bet it is.”
11
Daisy
Overwhelms and terrifies me
We stand behind a beautiful couple, Hollywood A-listers, waiting to be seated. We’re having dinner at Catch LA, an acclaimed rooftop restaurant in West Hollywood, frequented by celebrities.
“Wow, this place is supposed to be amazing,” I whisper, leaning into him.
“We both love seafood, so I figured, let’s check it out.” His comment is so casual, as if he made reservations at Red Lobster, that I giggle.
Even without what promises to be a spectacular meal, the open-air dining room offers breathtaking views of downtown Los Angeles and the Hollywood Hills.
Gray angles his head and kisses me, lips firm and confident. He is minty fresh like his favorite gum and masculine in ways I can’t explain. What’s meant to be a quick, chaste kiss turns into something more when he parts his lips, and without a moment’s hesitation, I slide my tongue into his mouth.