“Tavere ordered us to return to the Palace. Otherwise, we would have flown to you,” Yukihyo said.
I gave him a small nod but didn’t look up at them again. Nico and Yukihyo spoke about nonsense and silly things with the children. They knew words would be too hard for me.
With Uncle Kagan, the children, Thunderdrop, Pierce, and Lorca for company, I managed to eat a little. Eli, Drex, Jazon, Xavier, and the others were busy with the documentation and reports for the official arrests they had conducted. Peter refused to release me, even for my trips to the waste unit.
When Neema sniffed me, made a face, and asked, “Mommy make stinky?” I realized that I had been neglecting my personal hygiene.
I decided on a shower. Peter insisted on joining me. After stripping us both and testing the water temperature, we got in. Peter made trilling sounds. He spread his tiny arms wide and let water drops splash the thin patagium connecting his arms to his sides.
“Peter, do you like the shower?”
He trilled and held his mouth open for drops. Carefully, I washed my hair. The color of it made me sad. Drying off while holding a baby was difficult, but I managed. I dressed in soft pants and a T-shirt. Then, I put a clean diaper and soft baby gown on Peter. Sitting in the nursery, I took turns rocking my babies to sleep. While I did, I mourned the baby I would never rock to sleep and wondered what Luca would have been like with his own son or daughter.
Returning to the infirmary, I held Zared’s hand and told him every single detail of our time apart. A doctor came to check his vitals. “How is he?” I asked. I couldn’t look into the doctor’s eyes. I was terrified of losing Zared, too.
“Lord Zared continues to heal, your majesty. Traumatic head injuries, such as the one he suffered in the attack, can result in comas.”
I smoothed the dove-grey hairs on Zared’s fingers. “When will he come back to me?” My voice broke on my words.
“I don’t know, your majesty. It could be days or years.” He bowed to me and went to check on Momma.
“I can wait years. I’ll wait all of the years you want, so long as you don’t leave me.” Climbing into bed beside him, I cried against his shoulder until I drifted off.
In my dreams, Luca died in my arms. Startled awake, I listened to the beeping of the infirmary’s machines and monitors. The lights had been dimmed. Someone had covered me with a blanket. Thoughts of Luca and our unborn baby had me crying quietly against Zared’s shoulder. I didn’t think I was strong enough to survive losing Zared. Something moved my hair. I looked for Thunderdrop but felt the sensation again. A hand stroked my hair. Grateful sobs tore from me. Reaching through our bond, I found Zared. Nurturing the weak link with love and desperation, I offered him my strength.
“Zared, my love. Come back to me. Please, don’t leave me. Please, come back to me. I love you. I love you,” I whispered over and over again.
For the remainder of the sleep cycle, I remained vigilant and reported what had happened to the first doctor who ventured near. When Lorca brought Peter to me, I had him call and wake Izaac.
Telepathically, he promised to remain with Zared until I returned. I kissed Zared’s lips before returning to my quarters.
By the time we docked on Parvac, Zared had regained consciousness. The blast had caused spinal damage that would take time to heal. Zared could feel his legs, but he couldn’t move them. Nico and Yukihyo were the first people to board the ship. I rose from my seat on the couch when they entered.
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Neema yelled as she ran to him.
He picked her up and got lots of hugs and kisses. Nico’s brown eyes attempted to hold mine, but mine were too heavy and fell.
“Niklos, say hello to Daddy. He has missed you.” Niklos was a heavy and healthy bundle of energy. I carried him to Nico.
“Hello, my boy. Were you good for Mommy?”
“Ball,” Niklos said as he pointed.
Nico bent down with his son in his arms and picked up the sparkly blue ball and handed it to Niklos. I knew that Yukihyo wanted to comfort me and talk, but it wasn’t something I could do in front of the children.
“Phillip and Dr. Fotri reported directly to the infirmary,” Yukihyo said. He comforted me the best he could through our symbiotic bond.
“Ettie and Seyla went there as well,” Nico said. He rubbed circles on Niklos’ back.
Xavier and Jazon stood to either side of the main door. They saluted and stood at attention for the next two people who entered.
“My lords, there are more toys in the nursery,” Lorca said. He knew I didn’t want to upset the children. “Come, Thunderdrop.”
I made myself meet the eyes of Fallon and Lucius Braga. Then, I broke, collapsing to the floor. Lucius got to me first. He encompassed me in arms so like Luca’s that I cried harder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He said, “Teagan, it wasn’t your fault.”
“It was. I should have ordered him to stay here. I tried to make him stay. He….”
“I know. I know. It’s alright. Luca never would have let you go without him.”
“He saved me. Luca shot a blaster missile. He was so brave. He didn’t have to die. He didn’t.”
“I know, Teagan. I’ve seen the recording, over and over again.” In horror, I looked up at him. “Our son died in the arms of the woman he loved. Luca knew you loved him.”
Fallon held me and together, we cried. “I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.”
“It wasn’t your fault. The traitor plotting to assassinate you and our Emperor murdered my son,” Fallon said.
“I lost Luca. I lost our baby.” I couldn’t breathe through the pain.
“A baby?” Fallon asked.
I sobbed harder. “We were going to try again. I wanted to give Luca a child. He loved Peter as his own. He was so good with the children. Now, I lost our baby and Luca.”
Lucius held both of us.
When Grandmother, Aunt Seyla, and Uncle Kagan joined us, a blanket of calm fell over my emotions and muffled them. “Come here, Teagan,” Grandmother said as she patted the couch. I half crawled to her lap where I put my head. “Everything is going to be alright. Luca saved you. He was brave and strong. No one will forget him,” Grandmother said.
“He courted me and did so many things to win me. He won my heart. Now, he’s gone. I’ll never see his smile again. I’ll never hold him again.”
Eventually, we were all seated in long black transports. We followed behind the one carrying Luca. Behind us was a long transport with large windows. In it was my mother, Empress Neema Probus, in her stasis chamber. Parvac was silent. Lining the road from the land port to the Palace were uniformed soldiers at attention and crowds of civilians. Rose petals covered the road and lifted up before our transports like a gentle wake of water before a boat. In an hour, there would be a ceremony in honor of General Luca Braga. I didn’t know how I was going to get through it.
At the Palace, servants provided tissues along with anything else we needed to ease our pain. Grandmother tried to make me sit.
“I need to make sure Zared is comfortable. I’ll be back.” My footsteps echoed down the hall. When officers or Palace servants saw me, they moved to the sides of the hall, bowed, and remained that way until I had passed.
In the infirmary, Ryan hugged me. “Are you alright?”
I shook my head that I was not. Seeing Zared as he watched me through the plasti-glass wall of his room, I went to him and laid beside him. “I don’t know what I would have done had I lost you, too. This hurts so much.”
“You have me. I won’t leave you.”
There was a huge commotion in the Palace. Sliding from the bed, I took up a protective stance in front of Zared. Any danger would have to come through me. However, it was Papa who ran inside of the infirmary.
“Neema,” Papa said. He clutched the glass with both hands as he stared at her face. “My love, to see you once more in this life….” Papa’s voice faded away at the end. �
�Ryan, is it true? Does she still live?”
Ryan smiled at Papa as tears slipped from his eyes. Nodding, he said, “Yes, Tavere. Neema’s life signs have grown stronger. The ship’s physicians began nanite therapy along with blood transfusions, and a liver transplant. Tavere, she has been in a comatose state for twenty years. It may take years for Neema to recover. She may need to learn how to swallow, talk, and walk all over again.”
Papa gave Ryan a joyous smile and wiped his own tears away. “Yes, yes.” Papa stepped away as Ryan and Phillip opened the chamber.
The greenish fluid evaporated with exposure to the air. I realized that it was a different shade and had been replaced during our time apart. Phillip began attaching monitoring devices to Neema’s chest. Then, together, Phillip and Ryan lifted her out and onto an exam bed. Ryan began removing from her arms and legs the tubes connecting her to the stasis chamber. With each one that he removed, Phillip placed and activated a nanite patch. Ryan attached a machine to her chest that began chest compressions while Phillip prepped a ventilator.
I had joined Papa and noticed my fingers were laced with his. The woman on the exam bed began to throw up green fluid that quickly evaporated. Then, she began to cough.
“It’s alright. That’s good. You’re safe, now, Neema,” Ryan said. Phillip placed the oxygen mask over her face. A nurse began covering her with heated blankets. “Don’t be afraid. You’re at the Palace where you belong,” Ryan said.
I let Papa’s hand go. His eyes were brimming as he half stumbled to her side. Thin, pale, weak arms reached for him. Bending over her, Papa held her and sobbed. Then, he was laughing and kissing her all over her face.
“She wants it off,” Papa said of the mask.
A weak voice strained to say, “My baby…our baby….”
“Don’t be afraid. She is safe. I have Teagan,” Papa said.
“My baby…give…”
Papa said, “Teagan, come closer so your mother can see you.”
I looked at my feet. “I’m not a baby. What if I upset her?” I asked quietly.
Ryan put his arm around my back, took my hand, and moved me closer to Papa. She wasn’t going to know me. Seeing me would be traumatic. Twenty years of her life had been stolen from her. I tried to prepare myself for my mother’s rejection.
Nathan Green’s hateful voice echoed in my mind. “She left because of you. She couldn’t stand you.”
I was more afraid of looking into Neema Valen’s eyes than of anything ever before. But then, I felt it. A warm, full sensation entered under my breastbone, filling my entire torso. It was tender and powerful. It was what I felt for Neema, Niklos, and Peter, but it was in reverse. It was for me. I gasped with the sensation and looked into her eyes. They were full of relief and adoration for me.
“Momma, Momma,” I said as I buried my face against her neck. The lies Nathan Green had told me fell out of me with my tears.
“Teagan, your Momma isn’t going anywhere ever again,” Papa said.
“Momma loves me,” I whispered. I felt something else and turned. A soft hand had grabbed my elbow.
I moved aside and could feel it as the same empathic bond of unconditional love filled my Momma. Grandmother held Momma to her chest and hummed to her. I moved away to the safety of Zared. I was overwhelmed. I laid against Zared, and he stroked my hair.
“Now, you know how I felt when you bound us together,” he said.
“She loves me. She wants me.”
“Yes,” Zared said.
I understood why Papa wasn’t coming with us. He promised to guard over Momma and Zared. Also remaining home at the Palace were the children. Nico and Yukihyo each took one of my hands and held them on their arms. Director Larkin Sapor had made all of the arrangements for General Luca Braga’s funeral. Luca’s troops were in attendance.
“Teagan, I must warn you. Our people will be seeing edited clips of Luca’s bravery. Some of them will be from his last moments,” Larkin said. My eyes spilled over as I looked at him. “If it is too much for you, I will have you led away before it begins.”
“No.”
I was seated beside Fallon. We held hands. Yukihyo sat to my left. Thunderdrop made soft chirps in my ear. Several men took turns speaking. The kind things they said about Luca helped.
Then, up in the sky, a three-dimensional video tribute to Luca began to play. It showed highlights of his education and military service. There were clips of Luca and his men protecting me, Peter, and the Eloneave in the jungles of Talpa. They showed me accepting Luca’s offer of marriage and of us dancing at the ball. They showed private moments of us holding hands and kissing. There were short clips of Luca holding the children. Then, they all saw Luca plowing down the man who had threatened me, how he had thrown me over his shoulder, shot a missile in mid-air, and saved me.
I sobbed and hid my face against Yukihyo’s neck. “I see this enough when I sleep. I can’t, Yukihyo. I can’t.”
Instead of what happened next, I heard Papa’s voice. “General Luca Braga was a loyal soldier to the Empire, a loving husband to my daughter, a loving father to my grandchildren, and my beloved son-in-law. Luca Braga was integral in exposing the traitor who has plagued our Empire for over twenty years. Luca Braga refused to stand by and do nothing. Instead, he volunteered to lend his experience and expertise to the mission that brought the Empress Neema Probus home to us. Not only did General Luca Braga save the life of Princess Teagan Probus, but he gave us back her mother as well. The only reason that I am not there to personally pay my respects to our beloved Luca is the woman he returned to us, who I cannot bear to leave.”
From Papa’s face, the view lowered to show Momma. She slept against his shoulder with the oxygen mask obscuring her face.
“House Braga will always be known as the House who returned my Empress to me.”
The soldiers and crowds erupted into deafening cheers, stomping, and chanting.
Chapter Twenty
I spent the next few days in the Palace with Yukihyo, Nico, and the children close. Violet and I spoke a little each day, but she was on bedrest. Not much was seen of Eli, Drex, or my Ponidi brothers. Quaid had called each day, but I had not heard from Fitz. Rather than letting the awkwardness continue, I called him.
When he saw my face, his eyes filled with tears. “Teagan, forgive me. We are so full of shame. We didn’t know. I swear it.” It looked like Fitz hadn’t slept for days.
“I know, Fitz.” I heard odd sounds. “What’s going on? Is it a storm?”
Fitz looked so haggard. “It is of a sort. Never would I hurt you or cause you pain. I will release you from our marriage.”
“Why?” Panic struck me. “What have I done?” Was I to lose another husband?
Sensing my distress, Yukihyo and Nico sprinted into my room.
“Teagan, after what my Uncle Felix has done to your family, after what he did to your life, how can you stand to look at me?”
Feeling his pain from peering into his eyes, I asked, “How can you blame yourself? You didn’t know. Finn didn’t know. None of us did. Fitz, he had plans for you and your father, and they weren’t good.”
Anger clouded Nico’s face. When Fitz saw him behind me, his cheeks took on a red hue. “General Cassian, please accept my apologies. Princess Probus contacted me. I would not dare to intrude on her grief.”
“Shut up, Fitz. How the hell long has this been going on?” Nico asked him while showing me news coverage from Thalassa.
Protestors surrounded the Jiri Estate. They had been forced to erect their defensive shielding.
“Fitz!” I cried.
Shaking his head, he said, “We have become the most despised House in the Empire.” Shame and sorrow were his shroud.
“You are my husband, and I love you. Please, do not abandon me.” Fitz looked up at me in confusion. “Only say that your heart is still mine, and we will leave for Thalassa within the hour.”
Fitz said, “I am yours, body and soul.”
<
br /> I ran to the infirmary with my vid-screen where Papa sat with Momma in his arms.
“Darling, what’s the matter?” Papa asked.
“Papa, please don’t let them hurt Fitz! He’s mine. He didn’t know. None of us knew.”
“Darling, no one is going to hurt Fitz.”
“Yes, they are. He and Finn are in danger!” I started to panic and couldn’t breathe. Calm wrapped around me like a soft thick sweater allowing me to stop hyperventilating.
“Teagan, my love. Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry,” Fitz pleaded.
Papa took my vid-screen. “Show me what is happening. No, take me to Finn, immediately.”
I went to the other side of the bed and held Momma’s hand. I rested my face on her arm. The medical bed had been removed. A queen-sized bed with an elaborated headboard that was gilt in gold was in its place. Luxurious white bedding covered it. Papa had refused to leave Momma’s side and slept beside her each night. He vowed to reside with her in the infirmary until he could move her into his wing. In fact, he hadn’t left the infirmary since she had awakened. That was why he had not been informed of the events on Thalassa. No one had any desire to intrude on the reunited couple.
“Teagan, when are you going to get your hair corrected? Neema would love to see you as you are naturally. She is identical in coloring to Kagan and Kane,” Grandmother said from her padded rocking chair. Her knitting needles clicked together with an almost mechanical speed.
“No, we don’t blame you. I’ll get this all sorted out. In the meantime, come here to the Palace. Teagan needs Fitz.”
“Papa, no. We will go and get them. I can’t risk warships firing on them. We know how the Warrior Caste gets over a slap.” I shivered. I moved to Papa’s side. “Stay inside until I come to the door for you. Fitz, you will verify that it is me before you lower your defensive shielding. You will ask me a question to which only the two of us know the answer.”
“Teagan, you don’t have to do this. We can come to you,” Finn said from beside his son.
“I have a fast ship. We will be there by this time tomorrow.”
The Spider Queen (The Space Merchants Book 5) Page 25