“I just keep hoping it’s not true. Luca isn’t dead. It’s a trick, and he’s undercover.”
Whispering, Jazon said, “Braga loved you. He wanted to spend all of his days with you. Never would he want to cause your suffering.”
Incredulously, I asked, “How can I not suffer? He’s gone. He went to all of that trouble to win my heart, and now he has taken it with him.”
Uncharacteristically, Jazon put his arms around me and held me. Hiding my face against his chest, I poured all of my pain out and gave it to him, just as I had given him the terror and tragedy of my childhood. Jazon hugged me tighter. Then, he said, “Go get cleaned up and get some sleep. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
Sniffling, I nodded and headed toward the lift. Kane and Dario stood from where they had been sitting on a mat and followed me.
“I’m telling Uncle Tavere what you have been doing.”
I gave Kane a haughty look. “Go ahead. Papa won’t tell me no. He’ll let me do whatever I want.”
“Not this time, Teagan.”
“What the hell? When we had first met, you made fun of me and called me a prude for having only one husband. However, self-defense is scandalous?”
Kane looked innocently stunned. “Well, yes. You should have husbands and be protected. That’s how it is supposed to be. You should have anything and everything you want. You should not risk harm to yourself learning to fight. There are literally millions of Parvac men who would give their lives to protect you.”
My nose tingled, and tears poured from my eyes like cups of water that had been knocked over.
“Teagan, Teagan, I’m so sorry.” Kane’s arms surrounded me.
“I keep seeing Luca’s face, but he’s gone.” My throat closed up with pain. The lift doors opened, and Zared sat in his hover chair before them. He always knew how I was feeling.
“Luca and I were friends since we could walk. You were his dream come true. He wouldn’t want you to feel such misery over his parting.”
“Probably not, but he might have strutted about, proud that he meant so much to me.” Trying to make light of my pain didn’t work. Zared followed me into my bathroom and kept me company while I showered. Then, using the strength of his arms, he got into bed with me and held me. I didn’t have to tell him how grateful I was that he had fought death this time and won. He knew. However, I sensed unease from him. “What’s wrong?”
Zared stroked my arm. “I am ashamed. I cannot be a husband to you as I would wish or as you deserve.”
Sitting up, I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Zared, you can satisfy me better than anyone else with only your mind.”
Zared blinked at me in surprise. Then, a slow smile lifted the corners of his mouth, and he proved me right.
Chapter Twenty-One
I woke in Zared’s arms the next morning as the Empress lowered to Thalassa’s surface. Had it not been so quiet, I wouldn’t have noticed. Someone was already in the shower. Since Nico’s big warm hand was on my hip, I realized that it was Yukihyo. I yawned and also realized that I had drooled all over Zared as I had slept.
“Sorry.”
“You aren’t sorry when you do it to Yukihyo,” Zared observed.
“I used to be. Don’t worry, Zared. Given time, I won’t care if I slobber all over you either.” I patted his cheek. It was scratchy, and I hoped he would shave.
Nico got out of bed and moved Zared’s hover chair over to where he could easily reach it. I thought it was incredibly sweet of him.
“Nico, are you okay?” I asked.
“Yes, why?”
“Did you sleep?”
“Yes, very well.”
“Are you sure?” I had a weird feeling that something was wrong.
Yukihyo came out of the bathroom with damp hair and a towel around his hips. “She finally noticed,” he said.
Nico inclined his head to me and smiled. “Phillip became frustrated with my snoring while journeying to Apellan. He decided to put an end to it.”
For some reason, I became furiously angry. “So, you just let him take it away and didn’t even ask me about it?” The three men in the bedroom looked at me with varying degrees of surprise. I stormed off to the bathroom. Nico joined me in the shower. I waited, but he didn’t say anything. “Aren’t you going to ask what that was about?”
“I know what it was about. You don’t want anything to change. Too many changes have occurred recently. Some of those changes have been painfully tragic, and others have brought incomparable joy. After we return to Parvac, you will begin following your routine with the children and feel more in control. Therefore, the sooner we are dressed and in the transport, the better it will be.”
Sulkily, I said, “No, that’s not it. I just like your snoring.”
“Naxan bison shit, Teagan,” Nico said. I laughed and hugged his soapy chest. “You do not mourn alone, woman. Most of the men your father approved to court you know each other in some way. We may have grown up together, gone to the same military schools, or had parents who socialized with one another. Together, we will remember him.”
I gazed up into Nico’s eyes. I was unable to speak.
“Let’s go rescue Fitz,” Nico said as he slapped my butt.
It was raining sideways on Thalassa. I watched it through my transport window.
“Chitter chitter.”
“Well, you didn’t have to come,” I retorted.
“Chirp,” Thunderdrop countered. He showed me an image of a newly hatched spiderling.
“Oh, I need protecting, like a baby?”
“Chirp,” Thunderdrop confirmed as he looked at me upside down from on top of my head.
Along with Papa’s proclamations and Finn’s severance of all ties to his former brother, the rain had driven many of the angry protestors off of the beach. We had all agreed as a family not to speak of the traitor again. Eli parked our transport. Then, we waited while my Omnes Videntes satisfied themselves that it was safe. The forcefield surrounding the property shimmered allowing our transports to approach. The defensive shielding didn’t stop the rain that continued to cry down my window.
“Oh, Yukihyo,” I said despondently. I concentrated on my breathing so I wouldn’t cry.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“Luca carrying my board for me.”
“I was thinking about the time he tied up your masseuse and took his place. You were furious. Luca made a huge splash when you pushed him into that pool.”
I squeezed Yukihyo’s hand. “He would be alive if I hadn’t married him.”
“Doubtful,” Nico said. I gasped. “Teagan, Luca was one of your military advisors. It is more probable that he would have been at your side regardless of your relationship with him. Knowing Luca, had he still been attempting to catch you, he would have been near you at every opportunity. How it stands, you had accepted him, given him your love and trust, and made him happier than he had ever been. I know that for a fact because he told me. Luca and I had that in common, amongst other things. He didn’t regret a moment he spent in your company. He loved you, and I know you loved him.”
Again, Nico had left me unable to speak. I simply nodded. Yukihyo opened his door and helped me out. I wore a hooded cape to keep Thunderdrop dry. Together, we walked up to the porch. Fitz waited on the other side of the door.
“Teagan, if that is who you are, what color is Pane’s compression sleeve?” Fitz asked.
My eyes widened as I thought. “Um, yellow?”
Fitz smiled sadly and opened the door. I flung myself against his chest and held him. His arms went around me, and he rested his cheek on top of my head. It took a few moments before I could release him. The Jiri family had all assembled. It hadn’t been safe for any of them. They had stood when we had entered and now either curtsied or bowed.
I shook my head. “This isn’t necessary. We are all family. None of us knew. Did we?”
“No, I swear it,” Finn said mournfu
lly.
Nico said, “I think you and Fitz should ride with us. Are your transports ready?”
Finn said, “Fitz and I are ready. We have prepared for an extended stay. The others will remain here.”
For a moment, I was alarmed. I wasn’t sure it was safe. “Well, that’s a shame. Momma will be hurt and disappointed. It’s hard for her to talk, but she misses her friends, Lady Claire and Lady Alexa.”
The ladies were married to two of Fitz’s uncles. Both of the ladies were in their fifties. I had met them only once, at the party Finn had thrown for us in honor of our marriage.
“Neema remembers us after all of these years?” Lady Alexa asked.
Sadly, I said, “Her last memories are from twenty years ago when I was a baby. In stasis, everything stopped for Momma.” Turning to Fitz, I asked, “Can we go home now? I never would have left her if it weren’t for you.”
The room seemed to become a vacuum for sound, so much so that I could hear my own breathing.
“You love me still? After what he did to you, your family, and your husband?” Fitz asked in an agonized voice. Closing the distance between us, I hid my face to his chest. Fitz held me even closer with his strong arms. “Teagan, I don’t deserve you.”
“None of this was your fault. Our wife needs for us to come together as a family. We should mourn Luca’s loss together. The sooner we return to Neema and Tavere, the more at peace she will be,” Yukihyo said.
“Chirp!”
With that settled, Fitz, Finn, and his aunts and uncles travelled back with us to the Empress. After Pane’s terrarium had been secured beside Sue’s tank, Thunderdrop sat and watched both of them.
“Teagan, I am painfully aware of how difficult it was for you to leave your mother. I am so terribly sorry…” Fitz said.
I stopped him before he could continue. “Please, don’t talk about it. I can’t right now. I survived what he put me through. I survived Nathan Green. In fact, he made me very grateful for everything good that happens to me. I never dreamed anyone could ever even love me. What hurt me the most was what he did to Luca. I’d relive my childhood a thousand times to undo that. Luca loved me. He loved the Empire. He was loyal and steadfast, and I ache.”
“Mommy!” Neema yelled as she ran to me. I picked her up and held her on my hip. Neema frowned at me and shook her head. “Oh, no. Don’t cry. I give you kisses.” She kissed my eyelid and cheek.
“Thank you. That’s much better.”
“Yes. Put me down,” Neema ordered. I obeyed, and she ran to her daddy with her hair floating out behind her.
My eyes wandered over to Kane. I couldn’t read my cousin’s feelings. He was quiet. Dario saluted Praetor Jiri, his brothers, and Fitz, but bowed to Claire and Alexa. How the Valens would react to House Jiri, I didn’t know. Sinking down to the couch, I stared at the fabric covering my legs. The skirt I wore was white with a pattern of thicker white, shiny threads glittering down it. Myriad feelings that I couldn’t begin to sort through were jumbled up inside of me and demanding my attention, but all I wanted to do was ignore them. Ambassador Jiri had made me the widow of one of my husbands. I’d never again be the recipient of one of Luca’s devilish smiles.
The cushion beside me shifted as Yukihyo sat beside me and took my hand. “Lady wife, you have me, Nico, Quaid, Fitz, Zared, and Drex. We have three beautiful children. You and I both have our mothers restored to us.” I stared at Yukihyo in shock. “What is it?” he asked in concern as he put his left arm around me.
“Oh, shit. I forgot about Drex.”
“I was rather puzzled that you accepted him,” Finn admitted.
I cringed. “It was to trick Uncle Kagan so we could follow the lead to Amphictyon.” Scowling, I wondered how to get myself out of this mess. The last thing I wanted to do was crawl under the sheets with Inquisitor Drex Licinius.
Kane started laughing at me. “If you think for one moment that Drex will ever consider freeing you from your contract, you are mistaken.”
The lift doors opened spilling Phillip and Zared into the room. Zared looked exhausted. “What have you been doing?” I asked.
“Physical therapy, and Kane is correct. Drex intends to hold you to your agreement,” Zared said.
Dario activated the vid-screen on the wall showing us the view from the bridge. Warships did indeed surround Thalassa.
“I feel badly leaving your other relatives here,” I said.
“That you personally came for us will assure their safety,” Finn said.
I huffed and shook my head. “Okay, well that’s one problem solved. Now, what do I do with Drex? A few weeks ago, I would have called a certain someone, who shall forever remain unnamed, to ask his advice.”
“We all trusted him, Teagan,” Kane said.
Phillip handed me my vid-screen and activated a video. “Here, Cupcake.” I took it and tried to figure out what I was watching. It was all tan and moving shadows. My face took on a hot slow burn.
“Phillip!” I said as I realized what I was seeing and tried frantically to turn it off without seeing anything else.
Kane was doubled over with laughter, and he was joined by other male laughter. Yukihyo took the vid-screen from my hands and made the scene vanish.
Innocently, Phillip said, “Well, you asked for suggestions with Drex. There are plenty of instructional videos available.”
I caught Nico laughing along with them which earned him a glare from me. “Where have my Inquisitors been?” I asked.
“Don’t ask,” Kane said in all seriousness.
Nico sobered and looked away.
“Teagan, why don’t you come away and let us help you with your hair? I’m sure Neema would love to see her daughter as she is meant to be,” Claire said.
“Oh, yes. Mommy hair sick,” Neema nodded sagely.
“Okay, thanks. I’m just afraid of it turning that orange color.”
Claire smiled at me. Then, she and Alexa led me away. Claire divided my hair into sections. Alexa mixed something into a paste. Slowly, they painted my hair with it and chattered away about a friend who had made the same orangey mistake years ago right before a ball. Once they had my hair coated and wrapped in a towel, I had to keep Peter’s curious little hands away from it. However, soon Fitz took Peter and didn’t want to share him with anyone.
“Kane, come here,” Claire ordered. Minding her, he walked over. “Bend down and let me scan your hair.” She scanned his head and then scanned a big glob of paste in a jar. The scan made the jar’s display panel light up. Then, pigments were released into the jar, and it started to spin.
“Where did you get that?” I asked in awe.
“I ordered it. You don’t have one?” Claire asked.
“Of course, she doesn’t. She’s too young to need a color pot,” Alexa said.
“Well, I abhor my grey hairs. I use this thing once a month. I’ll have you back to yourself in an hour.”
“Yukihyo!” I called.
“Yes, lady wife?”
“Look at this! We could make a small fortune on these.”
Yukihyo’s eyes glittered. “You remain a merchant at heart.”
I shrugged. “Those times on Tora were some of the happiest of my life. It was the first time I ever felt safe and loved.”
Phillip’s attention was on us as well. “Yukihyo, these would sell quickly. I’ll buy a quantity of them.”
Yukihyo said, “You would know where to get the best buyers.”
Phillip scratched his belly with speculation in his eyes.
True to her word, Claire soon had my hair returned to a glossy dirty blonde. Neema clapped, laughed, and ran around the deck spinning in circles to celebrate. Jazon, however, seemed disappointed.
Telepathically, I asked, “What?”
Jazon turned red in the face and ignored me. Izaac answered for him. “Jazon has a thing for Sara Eos. He has dreams about her and wakes up with…. Ouch!” Izaac complained when his brother jabbed him. Jazon’s fa
ce burned brighter. A wicked smile covered my face as I thought of ways to torment Jazon.
Several warships had broken orbit from Thalassa to follow us to Parvac. However, only one of those ships was able to keep up with the Empress, and she was under the command of Merick Carus.
Once we docked, we immediately returned to the Palace, and left Pierce and Lorca in charge of Sue, Pane, and everything else. In front of the Palace, fear that I had imagined it all overcame me, and I ran to the infirmary. Papa and Momma looked over at me in surprise.
“My darling, what’s wrong?” Papa asked. I ran to him, throwing myself to his chest and holding onto my Momma’s hand. It took me a few moments to assure myself that this was my new reality. “Darling, are you alright? Reports assured me that all was well.”
“I was afraid that it was all just a dream, that you both wouldn’t be here.”
“It’s alright, my darling. Both of my ladies are safe. I assure you that your momma will not leave my side nor I hers.”
I felt fingers in my hair. “Teagan, my beautiful baby. I was so frightened for you. I wasn’t there to protect you. I missed seeing you grow up.” Soft hands attempted to pull me from Papa.
Going to the other side of the ornate bed, I laid beside her, putting my arm across her stomach and my face to her neck. Momma swept me to her with the strong maternal bond that linked us together.
“This is what it feels like for Neema and Niklos. I wonder if Peter feels it, too,” I whispered as I luxuriated in my mother’s love.
“Teagan,” Papa said with soft warning. Alarmed at my error, I froze.
“Teagan, who are these people who are so important to you?” Momma asked.
I glanced over at the rocking chair, but Grandmother wasn’t there. “Where’s Grandmother?” I asked.
“Teagan, tell me,” Momma softly commanded.
Sitting up. I looked into her eyes. I wanted Momma to love my babies, but I didn’t want to hurt her with the reminder of the years that had been stolen from her. I said, “I brought Claire and Alexa back with me. They fixed my hair.” A pretty scowl covered Momma’s face. I smiled and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Momma.”
The Spider Queen (The Space Merchants Book 5) Page 27