The Book of Heroes

by Miyuki Miyabe

  Ding dong.

  She heard footsteps approaching from the other side. Someone in slippers was running for the door.

  “Let’s step back a little,” U-ri said, pulling Sky back with her.

  “Yes?”

  The door opened. It was her mother. There was a video camera on the intercom, but she hadn’t bothered looking at it. That hasn’t changed at least. She still thinks my brother might be coming home.

  “Who’s there?” Still in slippers, her mother walked to the door and leaned out to look down the hall. “Who’s there? Hiroki?”

  Now she was outside, running down the hallway. That too was the same as always. She would go all the way down to the elevators to check, hoping that Hiroki had finally come home.

  “Now’s our chance,” U-ri said, slipping inside the apartment. The door began to close slowly behind her. Sky hurriedly followed her in.

  “Does your mom always run out like that?”

  “Yeah. Her eyes were pretty red again too. I bet she’s not sleeping much.”

  U-ri felt the pain in her chest, but she gritted her teeth against it. She couldn’t cry now. That wasn’t why she came back. She hadn’t become an allcaste for this.

  “At least she got a lot of rest at the cottage,” Aju said, trying to make her feel better.

  She went inside and peeked into the living room. The television was on but no one was there. Maybe my double is at school? She decided to check her own room first.

  Behind her, Sky was looking wide-eyed at everything. Even his pupils seemed bigger than usual. Everything was new to him, the colors, the sounds, the furniture—and above all, the electrical appliances. He shrank away from the TV, cowered by the refrigerator, and jumped when the washing machine clunked as it switched cycles.

  “You’ll get used to it in no time,” Aju told him. “It’s not magic, but it’s almost as useful.”

  “I see…” Sky said, his voice a reverent whisper.

  U-ri knocked on the door to her room. Even though she was still wrapped in the vestments, her knuckles made a satisfying noise.

  “Yes?” she heard her own voice say. The door opened, then, “Welcome home!”

  U-ri’s double bowed when she saw her. She didn’t seem surprised at all to see Aju and Sky. Maybe she can’t even see them—

  Wait, how can she see me? Maybe because she’s magic, she can see through the magic of the vestments?

  “Hi,” U-ri replied, feeling like she should say something more to mark the occasion but unable to think of anything appropriate.

  Her double was standing by the desk. One of U-ri’s textbooks and a page of notes in someone else’s handwriting sat side by side.

  “Are you—” U-ri began, then stopped. “I mean, am I going to school?”

  Her double shook her head. “You didn’t want to go back, so neither did I, Master.”

  “Master? Oh, right. You can just call me ‘U-ri.’”

  “Right, U-ri.”

  “Where did those notes come from?”

  “Kana and Sayuri took them for us.”

  Just hearing her friends’ names made U-ri’s eyes burn with tears, but she held them back. “Right, Kana’s my best friend. And Sayuri and I are really good friends too. Did you thank them?”

  “You didn’t want to see them, so we did not meet. Your mother brought the notes home for us.”

  That sounds like something Yuriko would have done, U-ri thought. Her double was right. “Okay. Just, I might change my mind in the future and want to meet them. I mean, could you meet them for me?”

  “Of course.”

  Suddenly, U-ri felt uneasy. “I don’t want you getting too close to them, though. They’re my friends.”

  “U-ri, U-ri, U-ri,” Aju cut in. “She’s your double, a magical puppet. She can’t really be friends with another person, not like you can.”

  U-ri figured he was probably right, but somehow she couldn’t make herself feel it. U-ri plucked Aju up in her fingers. Extending her arm, she held him out, away from the folds of her robe. “Can you see this?”

  “That’s a book, transformed by magic.”

  So she can see it—and she knows what it really is.

  “How about Sky, can you see him?”

  Her double smiled. “Of course I can see him. U-ri, I am your double—a true duplicate. Until the enchantment on me is broken, I am you. So you don’t need to tell me anything you know—because I already know it.”

  That’s why nothing surprises her.

  “And Aju was a little wrong. Even though I cannot be friends with another person, I am close to one person—you.”

  Her double reached out a finger and gently rubbed Aju’s tiny head. He squeaked just like a mouse.

  U-ri felt the strength go out of her. Placing Aju on her shoulder, she sat down on the bed. Sky stood at the foot of the bed, his back straight. The perfect model of a servant.

  “So, what happened after I left?”

  It had been three days in the real world since Yuriko and her parents had come home from Mr. Minochi’s cottage in the mountains. “Your parents told the police about it. They said they had gone to take a look but hadn’t found Hiroki. And there was no sign he’d been there.”

  Even so, the police had agreed to keep an eye on Mr. Minochi’s cottage in the future.

  “Well, I’m grateful for that, I guess—but that will make protecting the magic circle a little harder.” As soon as U-ri said it, it struck her as a particularly grown-up sort of thing to say. —I have changed.

  Yuriko hadn’t been going to school. She studied at home from the notes that her friends had taken for her. Her parents had been talking with the teachers about possibly switching schools, but nothing had been decided yet.

  “Everything is the same at home. I think your mother’s a little tired.”

  “She still cleans Hiroki’s room every day?”

  “She cleans it and sits in there for about an hour. She’s usually crying, so I go in there sometimes and give her a hug, and cry with her.”

  “Thank you—” U-ri began, then she laughed. “Why am I thanking myself?” she wondered out loud.

  “That’s quite all right, U-ri,” her double said with a smile.

  She’s awfully nice for a magical puppet. U-ri was glad. When she thought about it, it made sense that she should get along well with a copy of herself. She wondered if anyone had ever tried it before. Maybe she was the first ever in this world.

  “Well,” U-ri said after a while, “I suppose I’ll be making this room my headquarters from now on.”

  She stood up from the bed, crossed her arms, and looked around. I’m home. I’m finally home. This is my world.

  “You know, I could really use a bath. Even a shower.”

  “You’re not hungry, or tired?”

  “I got magic for that—and I don’t have a whole lot of time. But I really need to clean up.”

  Aju had been keeping quiet while the two talked, but now he piped up. “Let’s magic you up so you’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed first,” he suggested. “Then you can let your double wear the vestments while you take a bath. Sound good?”

  “Yeah, but we normally don’t take a bath in the morning in my house. Mom will wonder what’s up.”

  “That’s okay—I went to sleep early last night with a headache,” her double told her. “I didn’t take a bath—she’ll just think you’re making up for that.”

  “Great—could you go talk to Mom for me?”

  Her double left the room, and Aju scrambled up higher until he was sitting on top of U-ri’s head. “All right, repeat after me!” the little mouse said in a chipper voice.

  U-ri began reciting the spell quietly so her mother wouldn’t hear. The spell to get rid of hunger and weariness was a happy-sounding one, with lots of pa’s and pi’s that made her giggle.

  Her double returned. U-ri wedged her chair under the doorknob just in case anyone tried to open the door, then took off the vest
ments of protection.

  She wasn’t weak like she had been before. In fact, she felt better than ever.

  Except she stank of sweat and was covered in grime. Even her fingernails had dirt under them. Dirt from the nameless land, she thought, and her heart thumped in her chest.

  She finished taking off the robes, but now she quickly looked around—that’s right, I can’t see Sky anymore.

  “Sky, where are you?”

  Aju stuck his head out from beneath the vestments of protection draped over her arm. “He’s standing right by the bed. Quick, cover up your double before someone sees both of you standing here like this.”

  “You don’t often get headaches—are you sure you don’t have a cold?” Her mother put her hand on U-ri’s forehead. “You don’t feel like you have a fever.”

  No, stop. Don’t cry. It was everything U-ri could do to keep from bawling on the spot. How could she tell her mother she was sorry? Why did she have to apologize anyway? Because she was hiding something? Because she wasn’t Yuriko anymore?

  U-ri shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mom. I—I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

  Great. Why did I say that? Now she’ll suspect something.

  “What are you talking about? You’re a silly girl, Yuriko. Go on, the bath’s all hot. I’ll bring a change for you, so just jump in. You need it—” her mother added, holding her nose and laughing. She pushed U-ri in the direction of the bath. Her mother’s hand on her back felt soft and warm.

  U-ri stood in the bathroom under the shower and cried. This is it. I’m not crying again after this one time, I swear. Just let me cry now and get it out of my system. She sank down in the bath and poured hot water over her head, and felt herself relax a little. The door to the bathroom opened. She could see her mother through the fogged glass.

  “It’s warm today, but you’d better wear a long-sleeved shirt, just in case.”

  “’Kay, Mom.”

  Light was streaming in through the window—it’s still morning. She usually took baths at night, and the bathroom was never this bright. Her mother was a bit of a neat freak, especially when it came to the kitchen and the bathroom, so every surface was sparkling clean. But the apartment was old enough that there were still cracks in between the tub and the wall where a little mold had grown, stubbornly resisting her mother’s attempts to flush it out.

  U-ri traced one crack with her finger, then let her hand splash back into the tub.

  Splash.

  Seeing the bathroom in the daylight reminded her of something. —When was that again?

  Yuriko had just gotten home and was getting ready to go to a playdate at Kana’s house, when her brother had come rushing in to take a shower.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Digging Deeper

  When was that exactly? A month ago? No, it was right after her brother entered eighth grade. U-ri was a new fifth-grader. She remembered now why he had come home early from school that day.

  “Family visits this week. Classes are getting out early.”

  The after-school clubs were all on break, so her brother was going to go out with some kids from the neighborhood baseball team and practice.

  “I’m just gonna take a quick shower before heading out.”

  The memories came back into sharper focus. Mom was out shopping, leaving U-ri alone at home. The front door had banged open, and her brother bounded into the bathroom before she even had time to say hi.

  She looked in. He had already taken off his school jacket and was standing there in his shirt and pants. He quickly closed the changing room door.

  “Sorry, U-ri, I was sweating like a pig in phys ed. I kind of stink,” he told her before she had time to ask why he would take a shower before going out to practice again.

  Soon she heard the sound of the shower running.

  It hadn’t seemed all that strange at the time. Her brother had always been fastidious about cleanliness. Even though they took baths at night, he would sometimes shower before leaving for school. She hadn’t paid it that much attention. If she hadn’t been taking a bath now, during the day like this, she would’ve forgotten about it entirely.

  Something about it made her uneasy.

  Maybe there was more to it than I thought.

  U-ri sat in the tub, hugging her knees to her chest, thinking. Had he taken more showers during the day after that? Hadn’t he come home a few times and run into the shower without even saying hi to their mom? That wasn’t like Hiroki. Why didn’t I notice it before?

  The hot water from the showerhead beat down on her furrowed brow.

  And what did the policeman with the eyebrows like a clown say?

  “Ever since Hiroki entered the eighth grade, he’d been having trouble getting along with his classmates.”

  Now even what her mother had said to the policeman sounded ominous. “I don’t think he would have told her anything to make her worry. He never said anything about troubles to us…”

  What hadn’t he told them?

  Was he being bullied?

  Yuriko sat up straight, letting her hands fall down into the tub. The water splashed up into her eyes. It ran down her face and dripped off her chin as she stared at the wall.

  Bullying? It didn’t seem possible. Who would bully Hiroki?

  Hiroki was tough. There was no better word to describe him. He was good at sports, good in school. He was perfect. Even the most dedicated schoolyard bully would have had trouble finding a weak spot to needle Hiroki about. If anything, he would have been the one doing the bullying—and that wasn’t even remotely imaginable. Hiroki Morisaki was the top of the heap. Even as a middle school student, he had presence.

  U-ri sighed. What am I thinking? The hot water must be getting to me.

  She got out of the tub and twisted the shower knob until the water ran cold, and stuck her head under it to cool off.

  So what did the policeman mean when he said Hiroki hadn’t been getting along with his classmates if there hadn’t been any bullying one way or the other? How was she supposed to interpret that?

  And the fact remained that her brother had hurt two of his friends. He had gone out and bought a knife, and stabbed them. He was going for the kill, and he had succeeded with one of them at least. Those were the facts, and there was no getting around them.

  U-ri chewed her lip. She realized she had been avoiding facing the facts of what happened for too long. That was a mistake. U-ri returned to the living room, drying her hair with a towel. Her mother was in the kitchen running the juicer. Banana juice. My favorite.

  “I thought you might like some after your bath.”

  Her mother set a large cup on the counter and filled it to the brim. She always put a little ice cream in her juice, making it thick and sweet.

  It was one of Hiroki’s favorites too. U-ri savored the taste. Magically filling your stomach was certainly convenient, but there was nothing like the real thing.

  “Hey, Mom?”

  Her mother was still standing by the sink. She looked up from her own smaller cup of juice.

  “Hiroki always liked your banana juice, didn’t he?”

  Her mother’s smile twitched. Her hand gripping the cup shivered.

  “He does.”

  “I hope he comes home soon,” U-ri said, her voice suddenly choked. It wasn’t an act. She really meant it. “Wherever he is, I’ll bet he’s missing that—and your Spanish rice too.”

  Her mother closed her mouth and set her cup down next to the sink. Her eyes wandered down to the faucet. She shook her head slightly and looked up. “Maybe I’ll make some tonight then.”

  “Maybe he’ll smell it and come home!”

  “Yuriko,” her mother said quietly. “Do you think about your brother a lot still?”

  U-ri answered her with a question of her own. “Do you?”

  “I do. Every day—no, every hour.”

  More like every minute. “Me too,” she said after a moment.

  Her mother sat
down across from her at the table. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you. Don’t feel like you have to answer if it’s too tough.”

  “Okay.”

  “Are you angry at your brother?”

  U-ri didn’t have to think too long about her response this time. “I am, a little.”

  Her mother’s eyes opened slightly wider. “What for, exactly?”

  “I’m mad that he left home and hasn’t come back.” Making us worry. Making us cry. “That’s why I’m angry at him. Other than that, I’m just worried. I worry about him every day.”

  Her mother closed her eyes. “You aren’t angry with Hiroki for what he did to his friends?”

  U-ri stared at her half-drunk glass of juice. “No. Because I don’t know why he did it. I mean, he never even got into fights much before.”

  Her mother nodded silently.

  “I think he did it because he got too wrapped up in his own thoughts—something was bothering him so much he didn’t feel like he had another choice. I mean, of course he should have talked to you or dad, or one of his teachers, before bringing a knife to school, and I’m sure there are lots of other things he could have done that would have been better. I just think he would have realized that himself unless he was trapped in some really unusual circumstances. So unusual he couldn’t really be himself, you know? And unless I know what the circumstances are, I don’t feel like I can say he was entirely to blame. Sure, what he did was wrong, but I still want to hear what he has to say about it first. We’re his family, after all.”

  At some point while U-ri was talking, her mother had started to cry.

  A pain stabbed at U-ri’s chest. She had seen her mother cry many times before. She had even cried along with her. But she had done those things as Yuriko Morisaki. This time was different. She was U-ri now. For the first time, she wasn’t seeing the woman sitting across from her as “Mom,” she was seeing a mother who was terribly worried about her son. Her son who had done something horrible.

  It felt very strange. Her mother was right in front of her, in tears, and yet she felt completely calm. She didn’t feel like crying. She felt pity, and more than that, she felt like she had to help—like she was the only one who could help. A sense of…duty? It ran through her veins, her heart beat with it. It was inside her.