by Amber Kalkes
Tobias uses his speed to suddenly appear before me but I just look at him blankly. I think I’m in shock. His hand touches my face and I enjoy the warmth it gives me. Warmth? Isn’t he usually cold? That’s when I realize that my teeth are chattering and I’m shaking uncontrollably. Tobias reaches behind me and I flinch a little at how close his arm is, but he ignores it. Grabbing my blanket off the bed, he wraps it around me and rubs his hands on my arms, trying to warm me up.
“What happened?”
“H-H-He c-came in.” I stutter out, my words come out sort of slurred.
Tobias’s dark brows furrow as he looks at me, “You’re heart is beating irregularly.”
“I c-can’t…” I say before grabbing my chest under the blanket. It hurts.
Suddenly, my stomach heaves and I feel bile rise in my throat again. Tobias gets out of the way fast and rubs my back, as I start vomiting on my carpet. It’s mostly dry heaves after puking up my pills and some toast with jam on them. At least that’s what they were, before I got to see them again.
“Why are you h-here?” I ask hoarsely.
“I don’t care if you want me to leave, I’m staying.” He snaps, exasperated, “Who the fuck is this piece of shit anyway?”
“My b-boss.”
“I thought you quit your job.”
“E-Ex boss, t-then.”
“He’s still alive.” Tobias comments tightly.
“I k-know.”
“Would you like him not to be?”
I look up at him and with a slight frown. What is he asking me? Permission to kill another human being? Not much of a human being, my mind comments faintly. Good point, but still, can I tell him to kill someone and not regret it? I hear a low moan coming from Lawrence’s body and I move closer to Tobias out of instinct.
“Quick decision, wallflower,” Tobias murmurs as he holds me close to him, “kill him and end this now, or don’t and have him attack others. The choice is yours.”
I stare at Lawrence as he starts to move a little on the ground. He grips his head and mutters, “Fucking bitch.”
I glance up at Tobias and give him a nod before tightening the blanket around myself. My chest still hurts, but I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up anymore. I just feel really, really tired, and a little dizzy. I slowly lay down on my mattress and see Tobias lean over the screaming Lawrence, before shoving his hand into the Lawrence’s chest. I can’t see what he does next. I’m already passed out by then.
* * *
The smooth classical composition of a piano meets my ears as I come into consciousness. I blink my eyes hardly for a few times, and try to understand where I am. A window is near my face and though it’s dark outside of it, I can tell that it’s moving. Are we in a car?
“I had to give you more of my blood,” Tobias’ voice informs from beside me quietly before the car shifts gears, “I would have asked for permission, but it was clear you were going into shock.”
“Where am I?” I ask, my mouth feeling terribly dry.
I sit up straighter in my seat and realize that I’m still wrapped up in my blanket. I pull it tighter around me as a shiver goes up my spine. Suddenly, a bottle of water is thrust in front of me and I blink at it. Tobias’ hand shakes the bottle a little, and I slowly take it from him. After drinking nearly half the bottle, I look over at him expectantly. He hasn’t told me where we are yet.
“Nowhere yet.” He tells me, sounding a little annoyed, “How are you feeling?”
“I… don’t know.”
He nods and I see his hands tighten on the steering wheel, “Understandable.”
“Did you…?” I trail, letting the question of Lawrence’s mortality hang there.
“Yes.”
“Did it hurt?” I ask quietly, not really sure if I want to know.
“Oh yes.” He says with a sadistic smile pulling at his features.
I don’t know why but the knowledge of it is comforting. I stare out the window and try to recognize anything that passes by, but I don’t. In fact, I don’t even think we’re in the city anymore. I frown as I watch the passing landscape. All I’m seeing is barren trees and endless white snow.
“Where are we going?” I ask, turning to look at Tobias’ profile. The contours of his face are only highlighted by the green light from his dash but I can see his jaw clench at my question. “Tobias?”
“My home.”
I sit up straighter, gaping at him, “Why?”
“You’re not safe in your apartment anymore,” He says lowly, while his hands tighten on the steering wheel, “I promised to keep you safe.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Well, I meant to.”
I purse my lips at him, “You kidnapped me.”
He glances at me before reluctantly smiling, “Maybe a little kidnap.”
“That’s not funny,” I snap, “I’m not just some asset you can take and move when it might get damaged!”
“You almost died.”
“That’s not the point!” I yell, reaching the boiling point of my patience and sanity. Taking a deep and hopefully calming breath, I try again, “I need some control here. I don’t have control in much, and you can’t keep taking what little I have away from me. Vampire or not, deal or not, I need you to just let me make my own decisions.”
“You’re telling me you would have stayed in that shithole with a dead man’s body on your floor?” He snaps, obviously missing the point.
“No, but I, at least want to be asked before you drag me half way across the damn country!”
He growls lowly, before muttering under his breath. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but when he speaks again, his tone is very controlled. “I apologize.”
“T-Thank you.” I whisper, surprised.
“I didn’t drag you half way across the country, by the way.” He grumbles, sounding a little sullen, “Only two hours from the city.”
“Oh.”
“You may want to call your mother and tell her you’ve moved in with me. I have someone taking care of the cleanup and packing your things, but I’d rather none of you go back there.”
“Why?” I ask with a slight frown.
He shifts in his seat, “Just as a precaution.”
“Why?”
“We’re here,” He mutters, clearly done with that line of questioning.
I glance out the windshield briefly but do a double take. Well, “how more cliché could this get?” I ponder in my shock. Tobias, the vampire, lives in a damn mansion. I sink down in my seat and feel the nerves build in my stomach. Tobias glances at me and meets my gaze. It brings a quote to mind, which to me seems very apt.
“With a red light of triumph on his eyes, and with a smile that Judas in hell might be proud of.”
I sink further into my seat. Very apt, indeed.
Chapter Seventeen
Benevolence
My eyes are trained on the black tile-work on the walls of Tobias’ guest bathroom. At least I assume it’s the guest bathroom anyway. I didn’t really ask. He deposited me in here, after carrying me from the car and into his house. I didn’t really get a look at the house, as he used his speed to get us up here. Everything was just a blur of shapes, until suddenly we were in a bathroom.
I run myself a bath as per his request, and now here I am, sitting and crying. I didn’t think I even have any tears left to shed, but I did. It was only when I was surrounded in warm water and alone in the silence of the extravagant bathroom, that I felt the weight of it all crash down on me. The now dried blood on my skin is staining the once clean water. Pink with its color, it’s yet another reminder of what happened.
I don’t hear him come in, but I do feel his light caress on my bare shoulder. I look up and meet his pained crimson eyes. I can’t even work up the right amount of outrage to throw a fit that he’s in here, not when he’s looking at me like that. Besides, why does it matter that I’m naked in the tub? It’s not like he’s going to look away.
“I ripped his heart out of his chest.” He tells me quietly.
I keep my eyes closed and don’t respond.
“I would never hurt you.” He whispers fervently, as his fingers caress my jawline, “You know that don’t you?”
I open my eyes and frown a little, “Why?”
He lifts a dark brow, “Why what?”
“Why wouldn’t you hurt me? You could do so easily and I couldn’t do anything about it. You’re so gentle with me, though. I just don’t understand why.”
“Because you’re mine.”
I roll my eyes and scoff lightly, “That doesn’t mean anything. People hurt other people all the time, claim or not. You’ve hurt other people, killed them even. What I don’t understand is, why you won’t hurt me.”
“Do you want me to?” He asks curiously, tilting his head before looking away, “Never mind don’t answer that.”
My shoulders curl in shame, because it’s true. Despite everything he’s done for me and protected me from, the fact remains that I still want to die. It’s the elephant in the room, creating even more space between us. I pull my knees against my chest, and lay my head on them, as I stare at the tile walls again.
“What matters is that I won’t hurt you.” He says, his voice bordering on persuasion, “That’s all you need to know to trust me.”
“Trust you?” I repeat quietly before shifting my eyes in his direction, “I don’t even know you.”
He grabs my chin and tilts my head up so I have to meet his gaze, “You know me enough to know that when you’re in my hands, you’ll be safe.”
As he says the words, I realize with chagrin, that they’re true. I do trust him enough to know that I’m safe with him around. It’s why I curled into his side when Lawrence started waking up. It’s why I’ve felt a sort of affection towards him at all. It’s because, despite our sick arrangement, I know he cares about me. I don’t know how to feel about this revelation though. So instead of examining it more, I push it to the back of my mind.
“Ignore it all you want,” Tobias says lowly in my ear, “But it’s still the truth.”
I give him a quick glare and he grins at me. I think he’s just relieved I’m not crying anymore. I do feel better, now that he’s here. Not only safer, but also comforted. In fact, I can feel my body moving closer to his side of the tub. Almost like a magnet, I seem drawn to him. I frown at that. Is that from the uncertain feeling or just the blood sharing? He did say it affected us, didn’t he?
“I’m sorry.”
His words seem to echo in the room and I turn to him curiously, “What are you sorry for?”
“Everything.” He sighs, “But mostly for not coming back sooner.”
“You say that like you had a choice. I ordered you to leave.”
“Because, I crossed the line.”
I bite my lower lip at the memory of him kissing me, “I’m not used to… intimacy.”
Tobias’s dark eyebrows rise, “At all?”
I shake my head and feel my cheeks heat. His mouth parts and, if his face could become any paler I’m sure it would. I look away from him and stare into the cooling water around me while he collects himself. For a guy who can get in my head, it seem almost ridiculous that he wouldn’t know about my inexperience. Though, to be fair, I’m getting very good at my mental blocks.
“I’m so sorry.” He whispers, sounding very upset.
I look at him again and frown, “Why are you sorry, now?”
“Was that your first kiss?”
Now, my whole body feels like it’s heating up, I lower my forehead onto my knees. I don’t answer, but he seems to get the hint. I hear him groan lowly before muttering something to himself. I can’t make out what he’s saying but it seems rather self-loathing by his tone alone. I keep my eyes forward all the same and sustain my voice just above a whisper, as I answer him truthfully.
“It should have been my first kiss.”
I still won’t look at him straight on, but I see his head shoot up from the corner of my eye. Risking a glance, I see him looking at me wide-eyed. I clear my throat and return my gaze to the wall again.
“Who was your first kiss then?”
“You don’t want to know.” I whisper, closing my eyes and pushing away the memory of Lawrence’s tongue in my mouth. I hear his growl though and know that I didn’t put up my mental block in time.
“I should have killed him slower.”
Deciding to distract him from the subject, I turn my head and smile coyly at him, “Probably.”
He frowns at me and purses his lips before coming closer to the tub. He balances his elbow on the edge of the tub before reaching towards me. I lock my muscles and try not to even blink until the skin of his palm meets the skin of my face. Tobias’s crimson eyes search my face for any discomfort, but I try my best to keep my face blank. I don’t want him to know how hard this is for me. Sometimes I don’t mind it, but this is different. It’s almost too intense.
“The water’s getting cold.” I croak out, trying to break the moment.
He frowns before he starts to smirk, “Are you kicking me out?”
“Yes.”
He chuckles and shakes his head before taking his hand off my face. My whole body relaxes as soon as he does, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Getting to his feet, he slicks back his dark hair from his face before peering down at me. I feel so small when he’s standing over me like this. Even though its only six inches that separate us in height, I think it’s his presence. As I’ve said before, he fills a room with it. Even if you’re the only one there to witness that fact.
Tobias looks down at me with amusement. I’m about to tell him to leave again, when he surprises me. Using his speed, he kisses my forehead and leaves the room. I wouldn’t know he left if the door didn’t click so loudly in the silence of the bathroom. I jump at the sound, and realize that he did that just to get a rise out of me. Well, I think begrudgingly, it worked.
Pulling the plug out of the drain, I stand up and grab a huge black towel off the nearby towel rack. It’s very fluffy and starts warming my shivering body immediately. I step out of the tub and onto a dark gray woven rug below. The fixtures are all modern, metal, and sleek.
The sink is just a round silver bowl on a slab of black granite. All the walls are royal blue tiles, and the floor is a flat black material that I can’t name. There’s a glass standing shower near the white round, half egg shaped tub, and very simple light fixtures. It’s all very intimidating, but fits Tobias perfectly. I can’t image he uses the room much anyway. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that I’m the first one to use this bath in a long time.
My feet plod against the hard floors and echo in the room, as I head over to the bathroom door. Cracking the door open, I peek out to see that the actual bedroom is empty and mutely lit. Stepping out from behind the door, I look around and wait for Tobias to just jump out of nowhere. He has a nasty habit of doing that.
When I don’t see him, I relax a little and look around the room. I shiver as warmth seeps into my bare arms, then I realize that there is a fireplace in the room. The fire inside is a bright orange and the crackling of wood is audible in the large room. As expected, the room itself is all very dark in color, but not as modern as the bathroom. It almost has a touch of Victorian Goth with its four poster bed and ornate drapery.
On the massive bed, I find some clothes laid out. I run my fingers over them and realize that they aren’t really mine. They’re a pair of black silk pajama bottoms and a matching button up night shirt. I run my hands over the material, before my fingers trace the entwined TVG monogrammed stitching over the left breast pocket. As another sh
iver crawls itself up my spine, I realize I should probably get dressed.
Pulling on my assigned pajamas, I wrap the towel around my head and sit on the edge of the bed, simply staring into the fire. At my parents’ place, there’s a fireplace in the seating room, but it’s never been turned on. Mom had it installed more for fashion than use, and for over a decade, it just sat there, full equipped but never used.
“I see you’ve made yourself comfortable.”
I jump before scowling at Tobias’ smirking face, “I assumed that was the point.”
“It was, but I can never turn down an opportunity to annoy you.”
I roll my eyes and turn back to the fireplace. I feel the bed dip beside me and I tense. Tobias doesn’t make any moves towards me, and keeps a considerable distance. So after a few minutes, I relax. As I watch the flames dance, something he said to me comes to mind. Turning to face him, I find him already staring at me.
“Yes?” He asks with a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“Doesn’t it bother you?”
He frowns a little, “What?”
“The fire.”
“No.” He informs me, before turning to face the fireplace himself, “I have the fireplace heat triggered. If the room reaches past sixty-five degrees, the flame dies out.”
“That’s… fancy.”
“And essential.” He adds before smirking, “I rather like my skin where it is.”
“What about crosses?” I ask, “Do they… repel you?”
“I don’t find them particularly charming but no, they don’t ‘repel’ me.”
“Garlic?”
He laughs a little and shakes his head, “Just bad for the breath.”
“Silver?”
“Irritating but nothing horrible. The metal is a conductor and with electricity comes heat and with heat comes discomfort.”