When they all stood to leave, Gloria left, followed by Ethan, but Kara hung back a second and Caleb waited beside her. He watched, openly curious, as she stopped the captain and pulled him off to the side.
"Captain—” She stopped when he would have objected. "Bob, I’m terribly sorry to hear about your goddaughter. I’m so sorry for any connection I have to it. If there’s anything I could have done to stop it all those years ago, I would have. I’m determined to help finish it now." Bob lifted his hand to stop her from speaking further.
"I assure you, whoever did this is to blame and them alone. Not you. There’s nothing you could or should have done differently. You thought it was buried along with Devon Bristol."
Bob was about to walk away and paused, as if considering something, then turned and pulled Kara into his arms in a tight embrace. Bob whispered something in Kara's ear and then walked away. Straightening her shirt, she turned to look at Caleb. He was touched by the scene, and he knew that she was, too.
"Ready to go?"
"Go where?" she asked, looking confused.
"Back to your house. We’re late to meet with the security system people."
"That's right. I have a function I need to get ready for tonight, as well."
They walked out to his car, and once inside, she turned to look at him.
"Ethan isn't coming?"
"He’s going to continue looking for other victims. Captain decided it keeps him part of the case, and it doesn’t utilize resources that we can’t afford to pull from other departments."
"So, he did get sidelined?"
"He did. He’s still being allowed to sit in for input on Andrea’s case. To keep him sane and out of trouble. But for all intents and purposes, he isn’t allowed to touch the case. I think he pulled your father’s name to get as much leeway as he did."
They traveled in silence for a couple of minutes. Caleb knew that there was something she wanted to say, so he waited patiently until she worked up the nerve to tell him what was on her mind.
"You know there’s more to the story, don't you?" When he nodded his head, she continued. "Why didn't you say something?"
"I figured you’d say something when the time was right. For the record, everyone in that room knew you were holding back." He looked at her when she sighed heavily.
"Devon told me I was a terrible liar. I didn’t figure I had pulled it off with people trained to see lies. I hope they understand I had to leave some stuff out for Ethan's sake. There are some things he just doesn't need to know and some stuff that I need evidence for before I open Pandora's box."
"For instance?"
"Ethan doesn’t need to know that I prayed to die back then, or that sometimes, in the middle of the night, I think it would have been better. I hoped one of the times the blackness would take over. I dream of a revenge I can’t have because Devon Bristol was killed and not by my hand. I couldn't stand having him look at me like I’m a monster." She took a deep breath before continuing. “He doesn’t need to know that sometimes, especially at night, the blackness threatens to take over, and I consider ending it all. It’s fewer and farther between than it used to be. When I first got home, all I thought about was killing myself. I-I still struggle when the nightmares get intense.”
Caleb had pulled the car into her driveway, and he turned to look at her. His heart ached at the haunted look on her face; it was hard not to notice the faraway stare. She was back in that time, in that place. Somehow, she had successfully closed herself off from it at the station. But he suspected admitting it was too real right now. Gently, he reached out and touched her hand. He wasn't offended when she flinched. He knew how hard any physical contact must be for her. Especially when she was feeling the pain she was feeling.
"God, Kara, please tell me that you’ll reach out to me if that blackness threatens to take over again. I couldn’t stand it if you did something to yourself.”
“It’s been a long time since it happened last, but I can’t lie to you, the last day has been one of the most challenging I’ve had in the last several years. But I know that I have a purpose in this life, and I can do so much good to offset the bad that happened to me.”
“Kara, can I ask you something?"
"Go ahead. But I won't promise I’ll answer."
"Have you ever seen someone for post-traumatic stress disorder?"
"No. I know I’m not living; I mean, I exist, but I’m not living. I want to be happy. I want to marry, have children, and have a life. I made an appointment with someone for next week. A friend at the hospital set it up for me. I’m tired of feeling this way. I hate the rage inside me. I want to feel normal. I don’t even know what normal is."
"I’m glad to hear you’re going to see someone."
"I know I have issues. It was just a matter of admitting it to myself. Vanderbilts aren’t supposed to admit weakness. They’re supposed to carry on."
"You don't have issues. You just need some help in dealing with what you went through. No one could have gone through that much and not need some kind of counseling."
"Maybe..." Her voice trailed off.
He knew that whatever he told her wouldn’t be enough, that she had to figure it out on her own. Once she could accept that she couldn’t change what she went through then, she’d be able to begin to heal. He had seen many people traumatized by tragic things happening to them, and he had never seen anyone weather as much as she had and come out of it well adjusted. And certainly not by doing it alone. It made him proud to know her.
"You know, you don't have to babysit me. I can handle myself. I’ve had lots of training in self-defense since that summer. And I have Sam. Sam wouldn’t let anything happen to me. One word, one subtle gesture, and he would rip the throat out of anyone who tried to touch me."
"I know you can take care of yourself, but I would feel better if you let me watch over you. Captain feels the same as I do about watching out for you. As long as this person is on the loose, he wants protection for you."
"When did he decide that?"
"Before I picked you up. When we realized there are more victims, he decided we should put a protection detail on you. He’s struggling with the loss of Andrea, and he doesn’t want another murder. I suspect after meeting you, he’s even more resolved to protect you."
"That’s ridiculous. First of all, you said yourself that they can’t afford to pull resources. I know the budget constraints that most police departments are under. Secondly, like I said, I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for a long time."
"Damn it, don't you understand? This is serious. My feelings for you are not what are propelling this. This is coming from the top. This is a high-profile case. A senator's daughter is dead; there has been a threat to the governor's daughter. You matter, whether you want to or are ready to believe it."
"All right, so I am scared shitless. And I know that I make a difference with my job and that, in theory, I matter. But that isn't the point. The point is that I would rather the person watching me be out on the street looking for this person."
"Trust me; we’re all looking for whoever did this. But for now, you’re going to have to deal with being protected."
"Do I have a choice?"
"No."
"And who is supposed to be watching out for me?"
"Right now, me. If I get called away, then someone else will be assigned to you."
"You?"
"Yes, me. Do you have a problem with that?"
"No. I guess if someone had to watch my back and it couldn't be Ethan, I would want it to be you. I trust you almost as much as I trust him. Maybe even as much. But they can’t afford to have you, of all people, watching me and not working on the case."
"First, I’m still working the case. We’ve been investigating her disappearance for days, and all the leads dried up. Finding her hasn’t resulted in any new leads, other than it has connected to you. We are at a virtual standstill. For now, you have me to watch over you. Answ
er me this, how come you trust me so easily?"
"You have my brother’s back; yesterday, you said you would back him up on this. And that meant a lot to me. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How did you get assigned to watch me?"
"I wasn’t assigned; I volunteered. Ethan will also help, but he’s working to locate the other old cases. We’re hoping we can find something there that can help us. It didn’t take very much convincing. Bob understood that you would have a hard time with a revolving shift of men you’d never met watching you. You’ve met Officer Black, so he’ll take any shifts Ethan and I can’t."
"I see. So, what does this mean? That you drop me off and pick me up?"
"It means you go nowhere alone. One of us is with you at all times. And I mean all times. If you have to go to the bathroom, we’ll stand a discreet but safe distance away so we can get to you in a snap." He snapped his fingers for emphasis.
"So...who gets the night shift?” she asked with a note of shyness in her voice.
"Me.” The word came out as a growl.
“You can’t be serious? When will you sleep? You haven’t slept as it is.”
“I can go for days on very little sleep. That isn’t a problem for me.”
“You won’t be useful on this case if you’re dead on your feet. I’ll only accept you being on the night shift if you’re allowed to sleep.”
“How effective would that be?”
“Caleb, be serious, you need to be firing on all cylinders to catch this monster. That means you need sleep. Officer Black can do the night shift.”
“You don’t understand; I don’t want another man here when you’re at your most vulnerable. If it can’t be me, the only other person I’ll allow to watch you at night is Ethan. I trust Ethan and Ethan trusts me.” He noticed she raised her eyebrow at the word ‘allow.’
“You can sleep inside.” She paused. “On my couch. The alarm system should be installed. Better protection if you’re in the house with me.”
“Deal.”
15
They climbed out of the car and made their way up the walk. The gentleman from the alarm company was inside when they walked in.
“Perfect timing. I just finished up. I’ll run through the system with you, show you how to set up the code that you’ll need to use to arm or disable your system.”
It didn’t take long for Hal to run through all the operating instructions for the new system. Kara had shut the door behind her and was making her way to the stairs when Caleb cleared his throat. With her eyebrows raised in question, she turned to look at him. His face was very intense as he looked at her.
“What? I set the alarm.”
“It’s not that. You mentioned a function you have to go to tonight. I know Ethan is busy, as well; he’s also going to some function as a representative of the police department. He gets sent to things like this because he cleans up well.” He smiled wryly. “Would I be wrong in assuming it’s the same function you’re going to?”
“For the new rape crisis center?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Then you would be right. He doesn’t know I’m going to be there, but if you have something you need to do or someone you need to visit, I’m sure Ethan can babysit me. It will be a huge crowd. So, I don’t think you need to worry about my safety that much. After all, a lot of the people there will be off duty police officers.”
“That wasn’t my point. The reason I asked was that I remember Ethan saying that he always gets asked to be the official representative to these kinds of functions because of his family name and because he owns a tux,” Caleb said with a look of consternation on his face. Kara couldn’t help herself, she giggled. She actually giggled at the look on his face.
“What? You don’t have a tux? No worries, a suit is just fine. As a matter of fact, the invitation didn’t say anything about a dress code.”
She smiled at the relieved look on his face. Clearly, she found something he wasn’t comfortable with—black tie events. She couldn’t blame him there. Kara may have been raised in that environment, but she’d never been at ease in it, and she would avoid them at all costs, and had for quite some time. But this event was near and dear to her heart, and after all, it was stressed that it was supposed to be a dress down event.
Kara hated going to public events where she had to try to behave normally around people. It was amazing she could function at all in her work, but she’d found it incredibly rewarding. And tonight, she was going to open a new chapter of her life; she hoped that funding and spearheading the new rape crisis center would help heal some of her wounds.
She hadn't planned on the day’s events or having an escort to the grand opening of the center. The center had been her baby for the last six years. After fundraising for four years, she finally had enough money to go to the bank with and to start getting the state-of-the-art center built. It was her big surprise to Ethan, the big reveal that she was doing her best to move on. She had meticulously picked the guest list and had made sure that her name was left off all the invitations.
As a matter of fact, she had made it impossible to figure out that she was getting the center together. She didn't want anyone to know until the night of the grand opening and would gladly have kept her name out of it altogether, but she knew her name would add much needed donations, and they needed all the donations they could get. Kara wanted people to donate their money and come to the grand opening for the center and not for her and her name, but she was a realist. For the most part, it had been surprisingly easy to get donations and yet hide her name from the actual center. Being involved in fundraising didn’t automatically make you the one spearheading the whole thing. It helped having Dr. Brenner and Dr. Chiglo to help. Their help had been irreplaceable.
She forced herself back to reality when she saw guests starting to arrive. Tonight was supposed to be her big night; the night when she spoke openly for the first time about her own rape. She wasn't expecting having to tell her story to the cops that morning. But that didn't matter. The version she told tonight would be less detailed, and it was a sort of dry run for her. Kara felt sick to her stomach. She was happy to hear that her brother was coming tonight. She had extended the invitation to his bosses weeks prior, specifically asking for him, hoping that he would come.
Even though she’d had months to prepare for this night, she was still nervous. Taking a deep breath, she began mingling with the people who had been carefully picked to attend the opening of the center. There were many people she’d wanted there, many organizations that had helped to make this day happen. And there were some more strategic invites, ones she had invited who would hopefully be willing to help fund the center in the future. They would still need a lot of donations to keep the doors open for years to come.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ethan arrive, and she quickly moved out of his line of vision. She wanted to surprise her brother. And because of that, she didn’t want him to see her until she stood on stage to give her speech. With Caleb by her side, she walked silently into the corridor to wait until it was time to go to the podium that was set up and tell everyone her story. Caleb surprised her every minute she spent with him because she knew that he believed in her. And that meant a lot to her and said a lot about him.
While she stood, she fidgeted with her blouse and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a female voice behind her.
“Ms. Vanderbilt?”
She spun around her heart in her throat. “Yes, that’s me. May I help you?”
“Quinn Sanders, we spoke on the phone.”
“Oh, Quinn, how nice to finally meet you,” she said. Kara felt foolish for being so startled. Quinn was the woman she had chosen to manage the center.
"Quinn, this is Detective Caleb Montgomery."
"We’ve met a time or two on a case," Quinn said, smiling warmly at Caleb. "Nice to see you again."
"Likewise, but I’m glad it’s under bette
r circumstances."
For some reason, the exchange between the two irritated Kara. And she felt somewhat agitated as they shook hands. Kara hadn’t felt like this since high school, and it was never on this level. She knew deep in her gut that it was jealousy, even if she tried to convince her head that wasn't what it was.
“Are you ready?” Quinn asked. “It’s time.”
“I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” she whispered, trying to hide the jealousy in her voice, wondering if that agitation could be used to her advantage to get through the next few minutes.
“In that case, I’ll go out and introduce you.”
Kara just nodded in response. Quinn exchanged a quick glance between the two and smiled knowingly, then grasped her hand in support. While Kara had never explained her story to Quinn, she knew Quinn had heard of her. Even so, Kara was confused by the look she had given her as if she understood why Kara was agitated. Which would be impossible, because Kara herself didn’t know why she was so agitated. Who was she kidding? She knew exactly why she was pissed. Kara didn’t want the attractive blonde woman by Caleb.
Kara didn't have time to ask Quinn about the expression before she was walking out and politely introducing her. Quinn didn’t use Kara's name in the introduction because she didn't want a big uproar before she got out there; she knew she would back out if that happened. So instead, she just introduced the speaker as the founder of A Place to Hope.
“And now I would like to introduce you to the woman who envisioned and made this center happen. Please give her a warm round of applause.” The applause was the cue for her to go to the podium. She took two, deep calming breaths. Right before she walked onstage, Caleb laced his fingers with hers and squeezed her hand warmly before letting it go and walking back out into the main room where he stood off to the side in the crowd.
In the Night (Darkness Falls Book 1) Page 12