For the briefest of moments, she panicked, trapped against the counter. With his weight on her, she was momentarily confused and tensed. She knew it was Caleb; she smelled him, felt him, but for a moment, Devon was there. The mind being a powerful thing, she could almost smell his foul breath as Caleb sucked at her nipple. It only took a second for her to rid the feeling from her mind, but it was all it took for Caleb to notice.
A small gesture to Sam, who had sensed her tension, had him relaxing, but not before he came up and pressed his nose to her ankle, and then he promptly dropped to the ground by her feet. This was new territory for him, too.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, her voice husky. “Please don’t stop. I’m sorry, I just freaked for a second.”
He jerked away from her like she was hot to the touch and backing away quickly, he scrubbed his hands through his hair. Turning his back to her, with his hands still in his hair, breathing heavily, he stared at the ground. Kara felt crushed by the vision of him looking so defeated. She was reaching out to touch his shoulder when he whipped back around.
“You’re sorry?” he asked, his chest heaving, and too late she realized that he wasn’t disgusted with her; he was disgusted with himself for going, what he perceived, was too far. “God, Kara, I told myself to take it easy, and I didn’t. I know you don’t think you’re fragile, and in many ways, you aren’t. But I can’t have you thinking of him while I’m kissing you. I understand it’ll happen, but I am damn well determined to not push when he’s there in your mind.”
“You need to.”
“What?”
“Push me. Caleb, he’s always somewhere in my mind, and the slightest thing can trigger my remembering him. It could be a song that I heard him humming while he sliced my skin. It could be the smell of the deodorant he wore. So many things can trigger an adverse response. You need to work with me, talk to me, keep kissing me. Don’t back away. After that initial panic, I knew it was you. I focused on you, and he was out of my mind.”
She reached out and touched his face; he leaned into the contact and kissed her palm. The contact caused a full body shiver, and she moved into him.
“I might not be ready to go all the way, or I might be. Maybe if I take control, it won’t scare me as much. It was your weight on me that had me tensing. Maybe if we try other ways.” She blushed, and he fell for her a little more. “Me being in charge, on top. I don’t know, I just know with certainty that I want to try with you and I have never wanted to try before. Not once. I-I mean, I did try once about a year after the abduction, not because I wanted to have sex, but because I wanted to prove I could, but it didn’t go well.” Her eyes darted away as she said it.
Caleb roughly pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.
“Oh, baby, I am so sorry that he took that freedom away from you.”
“But he didn’t. Don’t you see, Caleb? In all these years, I haven’t found anyone that I have found myself craving. Until you.”
“Craving?” he asked, and she could sense his wicked grin when her eyes finally made their way to his face.
“I want to be with you. Maybe there’s still a little glass in me when it comes to this one area, but it’s just a crack. I won’t shatter. It’ll take a little patience for me to find my groove. With that other man, I didn’t even want to. I just did it to prove I could.”
His big body shuddered against hers as she ran her hands up his back to his shoulders, hugging him tightly to her, her fingers playing with his hairline as she reached up on her tiptoes to lightly kiss him. After the briefest of kisses, she pulled back and stepped away, glancing down at the dog humphing at her feet. She couldn’t help but chuckle. Quickly, she stooped and scratched behind his ears.
“Feeling a little neglected, buddy? You’re still my number one furry friend.” Her words, as much as the contact, had him drooling and wagging his big tail. “We should get going to your parents’. I think we have crossed enough bridges for now. Samsonite is still getting used to having you around. I should have eased into this situation. He freaked out a little bit when he sensed my tension.”
“Understandable. He’s trained to sense your emotions and to protect you, and here is this big, dumb goof practically mauling you.” The tone in his voice showed he was still hung up on the situation. She stood up and turned to him.
“That big, dumb goof wasn’t mauling me. In fact, it was quite enjoyable having that goof touch me. But we still need to ease into things with Sam. As for me, I am definitely ready to continue that later.”
Another swift kiss and she sashayed past him to the door, glancing over her shoulder at both boys she had let into her heart. One muscular beast of a man, the equivalent to eye candy, staring at her with a combination of lust and longing in his eyes, she would have to work on banishing the longing and make sure there was just lust; and one furry beast watching her every move with utter devotion while looking for distress.
Kara hoped that one day, Samsonite could just be a dog, carefree and happy, and not always working to protect her. She inclined her head, and Samsonite stood, rushing to her side, pressing his wet nose to her hand, loving her unconditionally.
“Want to go for a ride? Maybe meet some new people? Will you be my exceptionally good boy while we are there?” The poor thing couldn’t contain his excitement at being offered a car ride. “How about you, ready to go for a ride?” she whispered, her voice had gone husky again.
“Absolutely.” He reached for her hand, and after arming the alarm system, they walked hand in hand to his car.
22
Caleb noticed how quiet Kara was on the drive to his parents’ house. It wasn’t an awkward quiet, but he knew something was running through her mind and she had something to ask.
“Just go ahead and ask what’s on your mind,” he said.
“You said that Ethan had your back once; what did you mean?”
Of all the things he thought she would ask, that wasn’t one of them. Caleb didn’t want her to think less of him, but he knew he needed to tell her the truth.
“Ethan and I started out as beat cops together. We both went into police work for similar reasons.”
“He decided not to go to law school after my accident. At first, he just deferred a semester, and my parents were not happy. But when he dropped out entirely, they were furious. Then he told them he wanted to become an officer and protect people. They had blamed me for his taking the semester off. I imagine they were even more pissed at me when he decided to pursue law enforcement. But Ethan had always wanted to be a lawyer that fights the bad guys, not some corporate lackey,” she said quietly, looking at her hands. Even so, he sensed she felt responsible for that decision.
“Ethan is a damn fine detective, and he never wanted to go to law school. You know that he made the right decision.”
“Yes, I know. You were saying you had a similar reason.”
“It isn’t entirely my story to tell, but the CliffsNotes version is that someone I know who I love very much, was raped by her boyfriend when she was in high school. It changed her.”
“It often does,” she said sadly.
“She was no longer a carefree teenager on her way to school to become a graphic designer. Instead, she was depressed, and ended up failing her classes. She spiraled, got into drugs, and almost OD’d. That was when her family really knew how bad it was, and they stepped in and got her help.”.
“Family can often make the biggest difference,” she said when the silence fell over them.
“It did. She got clean, managed to go back to college, and became a graphic designer. She still has moments here and there where she struggles.”
“What did you do that Ethan covered up?” she quietly asked.
His head snapped to look at her, knuckles white on the steering wheel.
“This is a judgment free zone. I know he helped you.”
“I wouldn’t say he covered anything up, but he kept me from killing a man one ni
ght. A man that we caught in the act of raping a woman. I lost it, completely lost it, and went after him. Ethan had to pull me off him.”
“Obviously it wasn’t that bad, or you would have been charged.”
“I busted his nose; I only got in one swing before Ethan stopped me. It still could have gotten me into a lot of trouble, the man was unarmed. Ethan covered for me, told them that we both thought he was going for a weapon. I don’t think our captain bought it, and I don’t think he cared that I broke the bastard’s nose.”
“So, what happened?”
“Came down to the fact that the asshole would-be rapist didn’t press charges against me. If he disputed anything, then it could look like he was doing something wrong and not consensual. Which was his claim. That they were role playing a rape scene and the young woman was into it. That it was her idea.”
“Did she corroborate?”
“Not at first. At first, she was absolutely saying it was rape, and it most certainly appeared that way to Ethan and me, but then her story changed. She came in a few days later, said she was just mad that we caught them and was worried what her parents would say because he was married and they thought she was a ‘good girl.’ Told us she was leaving town.”
He hesitated a moment before deciding to continue, for fear he would insult her, but in the spirit of honesty, he decided to put it all out there.
“Money can buy a lot. He paid off his almost victim, and she left town shortly after. He had a prestigious job, a wife, kids, and lots of money. She was ‘just’ the nanny.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised. This country has a problem. The rape culture is terrifying. You have some that falsely accuse men or women of rape, ruining lives, and taking away legitimacy from people who are attacked. Then there are those who are terrified to come forward, those that do and retract, and those that come forward and the case makes it to trial, only for a judge to give the perpetrator a slap on the wrist for it being the first offense and because they go to church.” Her face was bright red now. “Even if they’re caught in the act.”
Caleb didn’t say anything. She was aware that he already knew all of what she was saying, but she needed to say it.
“When they prosecute, the defense attorney then will victimize the person who was attacked. During the trial, the survivor then must go through a long trial where they’re shamed for dressing a certain way, drinking too much, being alone at a party, giving the wrong signals. And if the victim is male, a lot of the time that isn’t even reported. The rapist wins and gets to carry on, only to repeat the cycle again and again. Sometimes people spend more time in prison for recreational drug use than for rape or molestation.”
He turned into his parents’ long driveway and pulled to a stop. He didn’t say anything; he just pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.
“Thank you.”
“For?” he asked.
“Telling me. I was hoping you really whooped his ass, but a broken nose is good, too.” He could feel her smile against his cheek.
“I want our relationship to be as open and honest as possible. It’s the only way if we want to have a chance to make this work.” He leaned in and kissed her gently, and at that moment, a fist pounded on the window of his car. They both jumped like kids caught raiding the cookie jar.
“Sweet Jesus!” Kara said, her hand flying to her chest.
Standing outside his car was his niece, a precocious little four-year-old who was smiling from ear to ear and jumping up and down. He smiled at Kara, and they both climbed out of the car.
“Uncle Caleb, Uncle Caleb, you came! Grandma and Grandpa said you couldn’t come. That Uncle Ethan got hurt, and you were visiting with him.”
“Hey there, buttercup, how’ve you been?” he asked, scooping her up. His eyes met Kara’s over the roof of the car; tears had filled her eyes when the little girl had said Uncle Ethan. He hadn’t been lying when he told her that Ethan was part of his family.
“Good! Mommy and Daddy are having a baby; I am going to have a sister or another brother!” She started off happy and ended on a hilariously serious note.
“Oh boy, were you supposed to tell me that?”
“Oops, I supposed to keep it secret. Shhh...don’t tell anyone.” Her eyes darted around, obviously looking for her parents. Caleb chuckled; she truly was an adorable little girl.
“I won’t tell anyone,” he said, pretending to zip his lips. “Do you want to meet my friend and her doggy?”
“Ooh, a doggy!”
Kara had gotten Samsonite out of the car and was letting him go to the bathroom while she watched the exchange between him and his niece. Watching for her cue, she came over with Samsonite when she heard the little girl’s excitement.
“Uncle Caleb, the doggy is huge! I thought Grandma and Grandpa’s doggies were huge…” Clearly, she was a little apprehensive at the size of Samsonite.
“Hi, my name is Kara, and this is my dog, Samsonite. He is big, but he is one hundred percent sweetheart, and he loves kids. Would you like to pet him?”
She nodded her head yes.
“My name is Ava. But when my mommy and daddy are mad, they call me Ava Isabelle Montgomery.”
Kara had to cover her mouth to hide her giggle. And Caleb fell even harder; there was nothing about this woman that he didn’t love. He watched as she told Ava about Samsonite and how he’s her guard dog, which Ava was fascinated with. After a few minutes, they were about to go to the backyard when they heard his sister’s voice.
“Ava Isabelle Montgomery, where are you?”
“Uh-oh. I didn’t tell Mommy where I was going.” Ava grabbed Kara’s hand and tugged. “Come on, I want to show her Sam...si…”
“You can just call him Sam.”
The two girls walked in front of him, with Sam right at Ava’s side, so that she could have her hand on his neck while they walked. Kara hadn’t lied, he loved kids.
“Ava…?”
“Right here, Mommy! I found Uncle Caleb and his girlfriend and her doggy, Sam. Isn’t he the coolest doggy ever!?” she squealed and then looked at the other two dogs sprawled on the lawn that had lifted their head to look at her. “Sorry, Cubbie and Bear, you are cool, too.” She leaned forward and whispered in Samsonite’s ear. “I don’t wanna hurt their feelings.”
Caleb’s heart thumped hard when Ava called Kara his girlfriend. It wasn’t that he didn’t want that, it was that they hadn’t even gone on a date and he didn’t know how to define them right now.
“Uh, Ava, Kara is my friend…”
“Nu-uh, I saw you kiss her like how my daddy kisses my mommy. That makes you her boyfriend!” she said, and then promptly ran off with her younger brother.
He turned in time to see everyone standing and staring at him for a moment before they all moved into action at the same time. His mother was quicker than the rest of the group to hide her surprise. She rushed over and hugged him; pulling away, she stared at him intently.
“Caleb! We weren’t expecting you to be here. Does that mean...is everything all right with…?”
“Ethan is doing well. He woke up this morning, so I convinced Kara to take a break. She called the hospital before we came over here. He was resting comfortably.” He paused. “Mom, this is Kara, Ethan’s sister.”
Once again, he gave his mom credit for her recovery skills. She barely batted an eye before turning to smile at Kara. He knew she was surprised that the girl standing there was Ethan’s sister, the sister Ethan rarely talked about, the sister that Ethan hadn’t told them was moving back to their hometown.
“Kara, I am so happy you could join us. I apologize for my surprise; my son didn’t mention you were in town.”
“I wasn’t sure she would want me to share that information.” Caleb looked at Kara apologetically.
“Caleb’s right, I tend to be kind of private, please don’t be mad at him. I’m sorry for intruding on your family barbecue,” she said quietly.
Caleb
instantly felt his hackles go up. Kara was retreating. She had misinterpreted his mother’s surprise as rejection of her when his mother was admonishing him for not telling her information that she deemed important. Kara returning home was absolutely important information because they all knew how protective Ethan was of her. The fact that she had been at the hospital was something his mother would have wanted to know. That information would have put his mother’s mind at ease that Ethan had family there to sit vigil by his side.
“Kara—” he began to reassure her that she was most definitely welcome when his mother cut him off.
“Kara, please don’t misunderstand my comment. You are very much invited to stay. I was merely shocked that you’re here and frustrated that my son didn’t tell me about you being at the hospital with Ethan. That makes me feel better. Your parents are…”
“Sucky?” Kara said glibly, which got a nervous laugh out of his parents.
“That’s one way to say it,” Caleb muttered.
“Everything is good, though? The doctors wouldn’t lie to you about his prognosis?” his father asked. It was Caleb’s turn to chuckle.
“Maybe we should start over; this is Ethan’s sister, Dr. Kara Vanderbilt. She is the new attending doctor at the ER at Mercy Hospital,” Caleb said.
Kara threw her hands in the air, miming a stopping motion as if to halt his parents’ embarrassment.
“Seriously, I know I like to be private and everything, but did Ethan tell you nothing about me?” And with that statement, the awkwardness fizzled and disappeared.
“Kara, I am Caleb’s brother, Grayson, and this is my wife, Ella. We are thrilled to get to meet the elusive sibling of our other brother, Ethan,” Grayson said, making light of the situation as he scooped Kara into a big bear hug before Caleb could warn him to take it easy.
Sam stood up from his perch on the ground and looked at Kara, who just laughed good-naturedly at the abrupt nature of his brother. Subtly, she motioned for Sam to lay back down. Satisfied that there was no danger, the behemoth of a dog laid back down on the ground. Ella had moved in for a much less aggressive hug, and then his mom and dad swooped in for their hugs. Finally, his sister Taylor approached.
In the Night (Darkness Falls Book 1) Page 18