Sidney sighed.“I’ll see you ladies in an hour and a half at the car.” She turned to her mom.“I’m sorry we didn’t get over to see Granny. I’ll try to come in the next few weeks to see her. And you’re coming for Thanksgiving, right?”
“I’m going to see what I can do. It would be good for you to make an effort to see your grandmother. I know it’s not as important as meeting your ex-husband for coffee, of course, but maybe you could put it on the to-do list nevertheless?”
Her guilt trips were obnoxious.“Yes, Mother. I’ll make sure to see Gran soon. Tell her I love her.”
She sprinted out of the restaurant as her mom’s eyes pierced into the back of her head.
~
Sidney raced over to the Starbucks and immediately noticed Jeff at a table by the window close to the front door. He looked the same: a dark pair of jeans, running shoes, and a North Face jacket. On top of the table were two cups of coffee. He had ordered for her. He never ordered for her. She wasn’t even sure he knew what she drank.
Right as she stepped into the coffee shop, he shifted in his seat and his eyes lit up. He stood and extended one arm, leaning over as she let him kiss her on the cheek.
“It’s so good to see you, Sidney.” He set his hands on her shoulders for a moment.“You look great.”
“Thanks, Jeff. It’s good to see you, too.” She hung her purse over the chair and sat down, gathering her thoughts about her as she took her jacket off. He seemed genuinely happy to see her. Why the change? Why now, after she had moved, packed up her life in Seattle, and was about to open a bed and breakfast?
She picked up her coffee cup. Jeff pointed at it.“I got you a drip,” he said.“I know you like vanilla latte’s but they’re filled with sugar. I just couldn’t bring myself to buy you something so unhealthy.”
Classic Jeff. Always trying to keep everything healthy. Even her. She took a sip of the drip and gave him a curt nod.“That’s fine. I just had dessert at the Cheesecake Factory. I don’t need any more extra calories.”
“I figured.”
Jeff gripped his coffee cup. Although he hadn’t changed much in appearance, as she sat in front of him and studied his face, she realized the lines around his eyes were deeper. His face seemed more worn than before. He wasn’t sleeping well.
Sidney cleared her throat.“So, what am I doing here, Jeff? Why did you want to get together?”
“I’ll just spill it out. Sidney, I’ve been so wrong. I’m sorry for the way I treated you last spring. I wasn’t in my right mind.” His voice was low and his eyes were more sincere than she’d seen in years.
She rubbed her hands against the warm coffee cup and took a deep breath.
Jeff leaned forward, setting his coffee mug down.“I was in Hawaii with Deborah and everything was all wrong. Nothing felt right. I missed having you there. I missed seeing you at the finish line. No one helped me after the race. In fact, Deborah expected me to massage her muscles. I broke it off. She and I are not made for a relationship. We fought the entire week. You and I never fought. Well, once in a while. Anyways, I want you back, Sidney. I miss you.” His eyes pleaded with her.
Sidney couldn’t believe her ears. Confusion bombarded her senses. Her mind muddled up and she wasn’t able to think right.“What are you saying Jeff? I moved to Perez Island. I quit my job.”
He reached across the table and touched her hand.“I’m saying I made the greatest mistake of my life. I was wrong. I even talked to Pastor Steve. He said that if I am serious and truly do love you, I should tell you. Please give me a chance to make this right.”
She glanced down at his hand. His aftershave hung in the air, confusing her senses. After ten years of marriage, his particular smell was still one of the most familiar scents in her life. Sidney pulled her hand off the table and leaned back.“Jeff, you cheated on me. You rejected me. I tried to stay and make it work and you repeatedly told me our marriage was over. I trusted you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again.”
He swallowed. She followed his Adam’s apple as it moved up and down.“I understand,” he said.“But I’m willing to do whatever you want. I need to have you in my life. I didn’t realize how much you mean to me until you were gone. I’m so sorry. I’ve been praying for you, for me, asking God to help us, to restore what I destroyed.”
“What about my bed and breakfast, the house I inherited, the job I quit?”
“I talked to the administration at the school. Everyone misses you, Sidney. You could sell the house and move back. They’ll give you your old job and everything. It could all be just a bad dream.”
She brought her coffee cup to her lips and took a big gulp, forcing herself to think clearly. She glanced outside and noticed a family walking by. A mom and dad and two kids holding their hands. Such a simple thing, one she’d wanted for years. One, Jeff said he didn’t feel ready for. And here was Jeff. He missed her. His life wasn’t the same without her. This is what she’d asked God to do months ago.
“So, what do you think, Sidney?” he put his hands in his lap and ran his palms up and down his thighs, one of his many nervous habits.“Will you come back?”
“What about a family, Jeff? I’m not even going to consider going back to you if you’re still not ready to start a family.”
“I’m willing to do whatever I need to, to show you that I’m a changed man. I’m serious.”
She paused, thinking about his words. Willing to do anything? She wasn’t sure.“I don’t know. I need to think about it. I like it on the island. It’s different. I like living there. It’s peaceful. It’s not exciting or anything like that, but it’s nice. It makes me feel like I’ve come home.”
Jeff took a sip of his coffee.“I’m sure it’s nice. But home is here in Seattle, it’s where you’ve always lived.”
She rubbed her forehead, pushing her stray hairs out of the way.“Let me think about it, okay? I need some time. Why don’t you come for Thanksgiving in a few weeks and we can talk some more then. Besides, it’ll give you a chance to see the house and meet some of the people there. My mom is coming too.”
Jeff swallowed and pushed his glasses farther up his nose.“Lucy’s going to be there? I’d love to come, but I’m not sure your mom wants to see me.”
“Don’t worry about my mom. I’ll make sure she behaves.”
“I can come, but I won’t be able to stay. I’m running the Seattle Marathon the day after Thanksgiving. I was hoping maybe you’d come and cheer me on.”
“I won’t be able to, Jeff. But come to Thanksgiving and we can talk more then.”
“That’s a month away, Sidney. Do you need that long? I thought you’d be ready to move back to Seattle right away. I thought you still loved me?”
She sighed and squeezed her coffee cup.“Jeff, it’s confusing. It’s not as easy as you think.”
He opened his mouth as if to argue with her, but then breathed in, waiting for a moment.“But, you’ll think about it?”
The hope in his eyes made her want to make him happy.“Yes. I’ll think about it,” she said.
They finished their coffee and said good-bye. She gave him a quick side hug. He latched onto her as if she were a lifeline.“I’m so glad I got to see you. I’ll see you in a few weeks for Thanksgiving.” She kissed him on the cheek and walked out of the Starbucks.
It all happened so fast. Jeff genuinely missed her. He wanted her back. Her throat closed up. Everything she had wanted. Why did she feel so torn? She had prayed every day for this. Why was her stomach swirling? The deep ache in her heart she’d tried so hard to push aside, tried to ignore for months, had just now become so painful she couldn’t ignore it anymore. What was she going to do?
In the distance, she saw Betty and Candace walking toward the Tahoe. They spotted her, and Betty waved frantically not realizing she’d seen them first.
Sidney breathed in the Seattle air, the crisp Autumn cold. She glanced around at all the fallen leaves and bit her lip in frustrati
on. She liked living on the island; she liked the idea of opening her bed and breakfast. Why was Jeff back now when she’d finally accepted that her marriage had failed? That she had failed. She had closed that chapter of her life. How could she open it again?
Chapter Ten
Dancing Damsels
Sidney stood in her room staring at herself in the mirror. Her emerald gown hung down, barely grazing the hardwood floors. She sprayed her favorite perfume on her neck and wrists, and made sure the clasps to her necklace and bracelet were secure. She put her hand to her hair and frowned. She was ready, except the small issue of her hair. Should she put it up or leave it down? And if she put it up, she needed help. Before she’d made a decision, she heard a gentle knock on her door.
“Come in,” she said.
Candace opened her door and peeked around to see her. Sidney waved her in. Candace was wearing a pair of leggings and one of the oversized t-shirts Betty bought for her at the maternity store.
Sidney put her hands on her cheeks.“I don’t know what to do with my hair,” she said.
Candace held up a brush, comb, and bobby pins.“Do you want me to do it for you?”
“I don’t know, do I?”
Candace nodded, as she closed the door behind her back.“I think you should put it up.” She raised one eyebrow as if asking Sidney to trust her judgment.
Sidney turned around and looked at herself in the mirror, shrugging in resignation.“Have at it. I’m inept.”
Candace sat her down in a chair and began running her short fingers through Sidney’s curls. She tilted Sidney’s head to the side and began braiding the top and wove it around the side of her head. Sidney waited patiently, hoping she wouldn’t regret it. About twenty minutes later, Candace pulled out the hairspray and gave it a finishing hold. She turned her toward the mirror.
It was the perfect combination of loose and styled, braided around her head, with small wisps curled around her cheeks.“Thank you so much for doing this. It’s exceptional.”
Candace fiddled with her hair tools and didn’t look at her.“I’m glad you like it.”
This wasn’t the normally abrasive girl she was getting used to.“I love it. Have you ever considered beauty school?”
Candace nodded.“Yeah, but my grandmother said I should do something better than beauty school.”
“One thing is for certain,” Sidney said.“You’re a natural.” She reached for Candace’s hand and squeezed it, smiling as warmly as she could.“Thank you so much.”
Sidney and Candace walked out together and called for Betty.“You sure you don’t want to come with us?” Sidney asked Candace.
“Positive. I’m going to make my favorite cookies and watch chick flicks all night.”
Betty arrived at the top of the stairs. Before Sidney could say anything to her, she called down,“Maybe I should stay with you. I’m horribly nervous.”
Her long black velvet dress lay over her in perfect simplicity. The fabric softened her and shaped her curves, giving her a slender look despite her heavy weight. Its baby doll waistline pushed up her chest just enough that she looked voluptuous. She lifted up her skirt and walked down each step with great care.
“Don’t even think about it,” Sidney said.“You’re gorgeous.”
“I’m pretty sure‘gorgeous’ and me have never been used in the same sentence.”
They smiled at each other and before either could say something else, footsteps resounded from the front porch. The doorbell rang.
Betty whispered as Candace reached for the door,“Sidney you’re as beautiful as a model.”
“Just not so thin anymore. Thanks to your cooking.”
Candace opened the door.
~
Kell had decided to stand off to the side so Jake could go in first. Jake’s twitching, constant jabber and inability to eat for the entire day had led him to believe his son might be nervous. On the other hand, Kell had tried to convince himself that he was nervous for the speech he needed to give, but he didn’t usually get nervous for public speaking. He was grateful Betty would be sitting at their table. She and Dan always sat with them, but this year Dan’s seat would be empty.
Candace skimmed Kell over with her eyes and gave him a smirk of a smile. There was something different in her face, he thought. For a moment she didn’t seem so hopeless and hard. He saw it flicker before him and then it was gone, like a snuffed out candle. It warmed his heart to see her softening, even if only a little.
Jake spoke before anyone.“Wow! Sidney you look pretty.”
She gestured with her arm to invite them inside.“Thank you and you look quite dashing yourself.”
Kell stepped inside and greeted everyone. Throughout his life he’d been a man who kept careful control of all he said and did. He never gave himself permission to get overwhelmed with emotion. He’d learned how to hold it in. But, Sidney Franklin was beginning to undo him. She was lovely, no doubt, but there was something else in her he couldn’t name. Perhaps it was her mystery, her absolute otherness that made his head swim. Whatever it was, it stole the words from his mind. She looked at Kell for just a second, her eyes sparkling. He stared at her like a foolish boy while Jake and she chatted like old friends.
Betty cleared her throat, Candace shut the door and went back toward the den. Kell forced himself into reality.“Betty, you look amazing!” he told her.
“Matthew Kellen what in the world are you wearing?” Betty asked grabbing his shoulders.“You look like a model.”
Kell blushed.“I finally took your advice and bought a new suit.”
“And don’t you look fine,” she said, taking his hand and swishing it around, eyeing him with admiration.“If I weren’t a Christian woman I might let my mind go places it shouldn’t.”
Jake’s eyes turned up to Betty.“Where would it go, Aunt Betty?”
She patted Jake’s cheek.“Nowhere, dear. It’s just that your father is a handsome man and with him all dressed up, he looks good enough to eat.”
Sidney interrupted.“You’re not looking so bad yourself, Jake. Who helped you with the tie?”
“My dad. He’s fast at tying them.”
Kell glanced at Sidney. She met his look and offered a warm smile.“How are you, Dr. Kellen? Where’s your dad?” she asked, looking for him out the window.
He struggled to find the right words. He grabbed his tie and pulled at it.“He’s coming. I’m fine, thank you.”
“They tell me you’re the keynote speaker tonight?”
“Yes. I’m supposed to speak on how important medical aid is to this island, and encourage people to support the paramedics.”
Betty interrupted.“They pick an important person on the island and Kell’s been picked quite a few times.” She turned to door.“Speaking of banquets, we need to get going. You don’t want to be late for your speech.”
Sidney called out to Candace.“Have fun with your chick flicks!”
“I will,” she said. Her voice came from around the corner and Sidney said something to her Kell couldn’t hear and then they all walked out of the door. Betty handed her keys to Kell.“You drive tonight.”
“Sure thing, Betty.” Kell studied Betty for a second. She was a stunning woman and tonight, she knew it.
Big Dan fell in love with Betty in high school. Betty swooped him off his feet. She was smart and sassy and had vision for her life. In her first year up at Western, she got pregnant. Dan stayed on the island running the family dairy and visited her on weekends.
When she found out she was pregnant,she left college and they got married. Her dreams became buried treasures she probably only remembered from time to time. She never became bitter though, and she’d loved Dan, giving him four sons. The irony of it bothered Kell. Betty gave up everything to be with Dan. She had ambition, was smart—smarter than Dan—and in the end he cheated on her. Tonight, she was radiant. Her youthful energy had returned. She didn’t seem the same woman. He wondered how much of that Sidney
was responsible for.
The truth, even deeper, was that even though Dan had cheated on his wife, he was the one in danger of losing his spouse. Betty knew Dan would flounder. She was the anchor that kept his ship from going into the deep, and without her, Dan had no idea which way was true north. Betty, on the other hand, could do anything she wanted. The growing panic everyone saw in Dan was that he understood this. Perhaps for one fleeting moment, he’d coveted the glory of another woman’s attention and had succumbed to it. However, the power of being wanted by another woman was snuffed out in the realization that the woman of his life might walk away and never look back.
Kell turned to Betty.“You hoping Big Dan will make an appearance?”
“I don’t really care, Kell. He’ll hear I was dressed for the Hilton and flirted with all the eligible men. What he does with that, is his own business, not mine. We’re separated.”
Sidney, Jake, and his dad, whom they had picked up on their way out, were chatting in the backseat about her upcoming grand opening. Kell let himself take a moment to look at her in the rearview mirror. Her hair was up; she wore makeup, but not too much. Her lips were soft and her eyes danced as she laughed at something Jake was saying.
She glanced up to the mirror, probably sensing she was being admired, and she stared at him for a moment in open awareness. She didn’t smile, nor did she turn away. He pulled himself out of her clear gaze and took a breath. He could not look at her like that; he couldn’t spend time thinking about her. She was far too young for him, even if he did want a relationship, it shouldn’t be with her.
A minute later, they pulled into the only hotel on the island and consequently, the only place where these sorts of events were held. There was a silent auction at the beginning, then dinner, followed by the speech, followed by dancing. Everyone who was anyone attended this banquet.
An Ordinary Love (A Christian Contemporary Romance) (Sidney's Sanctuary Book 1) Page 11