Kell paused and looked at his friend. When had Betty become so wise? She was a dairy farmer’s wife, a mother, an island girl through and through, and yet here she was sitting next to him making sense of her whole mess with such comprehension, it made his throat close up. He put his hand on her cheek.
“When did you become so smart? Dan was a fool not to see you for who you are all these years.”
She rested her head on his shoulder.“It’s all those talk shows I used to watch when I didn’t have anything to do with my life. At least they’ve been good for something.” She patted him on the knee.“Thanks, Kell.”
Candace came out of the kitchen.“Food’s ready. Betty,do you still want to go shopping on the mainland?”
“I do,sweetheart. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready.”
Kell started to get up,but Candace spoke to him.“Sidney’s bringing yours out on a tray. She’ll be right there. She called your dad, too.”
“She called my dad?”
“Yeah, and let him and Jake know you were hurt.” Candace walked back to the kitchen.
“Right.”
Betty stood up off the couch.“I’ll see you later.”
“What’s up with you and Candace being best friends, now? I don’t get it? Didn’t you hate her?”
She glanced over to the kitchen to make sure no one was listening.“I like that girl. Astrid has treated her terribly. She’s such a young thing.”
“The way you women take care of her, she might not have to do anything,” Kell said in a low voice.
“Sidney’s a love. She’s smart enough to know Candace just needs a place to figure herself out. Candace won’t be here forever.”
“What happened with Sidney’s ex-husband? She said something just now about scorned women. It made me curious.”
Betty leaned in close and kept her voice low.“Her ex-husband Jeff, cheated on her with one of her good friends. Sidney offered to forgive him and try and save their marriage. He told her he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore.”
Kell stayed quiet. The thought of what that had been like for her hit him deep. And to think that the first thing he said to her was that he wasn’t interested in a relationship. He leaned back into the couch. How could he mention how he felt about how she’d been treated, without her getting offended? He wouldn’t let her know he knew anything.“Was this a long time ago?” he asked Betty, as she was almost to the kitchen.
She turned back around.“Why do you think she moved here? She hung on and prayed and prayed. Can you believe she’s thinking of going back to him? Women can be so blind sometimes.”
Sidney brushed past Betty. Kell noticed her hair had dried more since she went into the kitchen and was frizzing around the side of her face. He wondered if she liked her hair. Most women didn’t like their hair, or at least wished they had different hair. She set the tray of food down in front of him.“What were you and Betty chatting about so seriously?” she asked.
“She was telling me about her and Dan. I’m not sure what she did to him last night, but she’s convinced he’s not going to make a fool of himself again.”
Sidney bit her lip.“We all deal with pain in our own way, I guess.”
“You weren’t too keen on how she went about dealing with him, though.”
Sidney shrugged and stared at the wall for a minute.“It’s not really any of my business. It’s just, in my experience, vengeance doesn’t make the pain go away any sooner. It just seals it in even deeper. The only way it actually gets better is to acknowledge how hurt you really are and then try to make the best decision you can about what to do. But it’s hard to make a loving decision when you want to kill someone.”
“You don’t think Betty’s acknowledging how hurt she really is?”
“No. She’s walking around in a rage. And that’s okay for a while. But, sooner or later, Betty needs to come to terms with that fact that Dan broke her heart.” Sidney got quiet for a moment.“Speaking of that. I’d like to pay a visit to Big Dan. Would you be willing to come with me?”
“After he beat me up? I’m staying as far away from him as I can.”
“He’s not going to beat you up again. He’s afraid Betty’s going to fall in love with you is all.”
“She’s not, right?” Kell wasn’t so sure about anything anymore. He never thought Betty or Dan would ever separate. He never thought Dan would be one to cheat on his wife. He never pictured a redheaded woman with big hair taking up all the space in his life and mind, either. Everything about this fall had been a surprise to him.
“I don’t think so. Betty still loves Dan. Why do you think it broke her heart so badly?”
Kell nodded.
“So, will you show me where he lives?” she asked again.
“When do you want to go over there?”
“Later today. I’ll drive, of course.”
Kell couldn’t imagine what his dad would say when he got in the car with Sidney Franklin. His dad will think he’d gone mad. Maybe he had.“Sure, I’ll come along.”
“Great. Thanks.” She smiled. It was warm and open.“You have a nice smile,” he said, surprising both of them.
“Thank you. It’s nice of you to notice, especially since around you, I’ve mostly frowned.”
He chuckled.“Hopefully, in due time we can laugh about all that.”
“Oh, I’m already laughing about it. I’ll never forget you standing at the door telling me I don’t stand a chance with you. And you didn’t even leave it there. You made sure I knew that you’d never want to date me. No matter what. Clear as crystal.”
He laughed, but it was a nervous laugh. He didn’t like that she remembered his words so specifically.“Are you going to rub my head in it forever?”
“Yes. I am. Besides, when you finally find the woman who does stand a chance with you, I need to remember the details, so I can tell her.”
His stomach flipped over.“There isn’t going to be a woman.” He looked up at her and held out his hand.“I like women,” he said in a rush.“It’s just I don’t want a relationship. I’m not relationship material anymore. I can see that. I’ve accepted it.”
“What the heck is that supposed to mean? Relationship material?”
He shrugged.“It doesn’t matter. I’m old I guess.”
“That might be true. But lots of women like old men.” Sidney paused. Neither of them spoke for a moment and then Sidney laughed.“So, the arrogant doctor who came to let me know I don’t stand a chance…is afraid of relationships?”
“I’m not prepared to have this conversation.”
Sidney laughed again.“What time should we go?”
“Let me get home and see Jake, see what he’s up to today, and I’ll call you.”
“You can text me when you figure it out. I’ll give you my cell number.”
“I don’t text.”
“Too old, huh?”
“That was quick.” He sighed.“I just haven’t taken to it like everyone else. I like to talk to people is all.”
“Sure,” she said. She turned around.“I’ve got some work to do. I’ll be in my office if you need anything.” She walked toward the hall. He took a deep breath. He ate his eggs in silence, cringing every few moments when he had to move his jaw. He needed more than just ibuprofen. He didn’t really feel like taking a drive out to see Big Dan. He still couldn’t believe his best friend had beaten him up. He wasn’t sure he should spend the afternoon with Sidney Franklin either. Everything about her made him nervous. Except, he did want to spend an afternoon with Sidney.
~
Later on, Kell walked home. When he got inside, Jake and his dad were playing Uno at the kitchen table. Both looked up at him and didn’t say anything for a second. Then Jake finally spoke.“What happened, Dad?”
“I got in a little fight is all.”
“You have a fight with Sidney?” his dad asked. His eyes twinkled.
“No, I did not have a fight with Sidney. Big Dan c
ame over last night and got mad at me.”
“Wow!” Jake said.“I guess you lost, huh?”
“I didn’t fight back real hard.” He looked at his dad.“I’m going to take a shower and then I’m going to take a nap. If anyone calls, tell them I’m out of commission for the day.”
“Sure thing.”
Hid dad’s and Jake’s laugher followed him as he left the room. Gosh, he was old. He ran a bath for himself instead of a shower, knowing he couldn’t stand up for too long. The warm water soothed his aching muscles and almost put him to sleep. Sidney came to mind. He supposed they’d be friends now. The idea of a friendship with her was overwhelming. He wasn’t sure how he’d do it. Betty had been right about him. Since Chelsea had passed away, he hadn’t wanted anything to do with another woman. The pain of her death had severed his head from his heart and he didn’t know what to do with the feelings he had for Sidney, especially if they were only going to be friends. He’d never been good at faking his emotions.
He and Chelsea had worked at the hospital together. He liked her from the first day she arrived. She had these big brown eyes that made him want to sit in fields of coffee. She was quiet and kind, so much like his mom.
After Jake was born, Chelsea went back to work part-time as a labor and delivery nurse. She and Kell did almost everything together. Their love took up his whole world. When Jake was three she found the lump. A bad test came back. They fought so hard for life, and refused to believe death would win. Prayed, went forward in church for the laying on of hands, even. They did everything. She died a few months after Jake turned four. His mom had died the year before. All the death, the exhaustion. Taking care of Chelsea and Jake. It shattered him. He hadn’t prayed since.
Kell closed his eyes. Even now, thinking about those last few months pierced him to the core. And here he was, once again, falling in love with a woman. He refused to go there. He would not fall in love with Sidney. Chelsea had tried to tell him, had tried to keep him open-minded.
Chelsea took him by the hand in the hospital, kicked everyone else out and stared him square in the eye.“It’s never wrong to love,” she said.“Never. One day you’ll find another woman who will open your heart and give you a good reason to love her. Don’t be afraid just because of me.”
Kell’s eyes had filled with tears and he laid his head on his wife’s chest. She brushed his hair and told him she was so sorry. Kell had wanted to say so many things to her and never got the chance. With Chelsea’s death, and a small boy to raise, and his mother gone, he’d moved back to the island. He and his dad never talked about it. Perhaps his dad didn’t know how. He could talk about death with his parishioners, with strangers, but it’s so much harder when it’s your own family. Kell also knew the walls he’d built around himself high and strong.
He stepped out of the bath at the rate of a sea turtle and threw on a shirt and a pair of sweats and climbed into bed. His head hit the pillow and he fell asleep.
~
He woke with a start to his phone ringing. He almost hit the silent button, but he looked at the caller and realized it was Sidney. She wanted to talk with Dan. He couldn’t go. His body felt like it had been tossed and turned in a washing machine. He felt horrible, wanted to stay in bed, and didn’t want to muster up the relational energy it would take to be with her for the trip. She’d be chatty. Women were chatty. He didn’t have it in him for small talk. He picked up his phone.“Hello,” he said.
“That bad, huh. You sound like they’re rolling you to the funeral home right now.”
“I feel terrible.”
“Well, I’ll keep my visit with Dan short and sweet. Can you meet me out front in half an hour?”
“I don’t think I should go.”
“Well, we could always go tomorrow. But, I’d like to get it over with.”
“Are you sure you need me to go with you? My dad could always take you there?” And then he was mad at himself. He didn’t want his dad going on a drive with Sidney. His dad would love that.
“Okay. Do you want to ask him or do you want me to call him?”
“Never mind. I’ll go.”
“If you’re sure.”
~
Half an hour later, Kell walked over to Sidney’s car. His ribs were sore, his jaw ached, and his eye still wouldn’t open quite right. Maybe his dad should have gone with her. If Dan got mad, he wouldn’t be able to do anything to protect himself. He couldn’t believe he had to think about protecting himself from Dan Holberg, his best friend.
Sidney came out the kitchen door. She wore a cute pair of jeans, a pair of black boots, and a jacket. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders. He wondered what it would be like to bury his face in her hair, what it might feel like to find her small white neck in all that tangled mess. He shook his head. He forced himself to think of something different.
She smiled at him, held up the key remote and unlocked the car. He wasn’t sure he was going to fit in her Mini-Cooper. He opened the door and looked inside. It was more spacious than he realized. It was a manual car. He had always thought most women liked automatics.“Did you want a stick-shift?” he asked.
“Yeah. Especially when I bought this one. It’s easier to control the car when you do the shifting yourself.”
“Most of the women I know don’t like to drive manuals,” he said.
“You must not know many women,” she replied, turning the car on.
She was so quick, he thought. Quick and deadly. They drove in silence other than Kell telling Sidney where to turn. He had expected endless chatter. She didn’t say anything.“Are you usually this quiet when you drive?” he asked.
“I’m not usually anything in particular when I drive. Why?”
“No reason.”
“Something you want to talk about? I’m not opposed to conversation. I just didn’t have anything to say.”
“Women always have something to say.”
She lifted her arm into the air.“What is it with you and most women?”
Kell leaned back and looked at Sidney.“I don’t know, why?”
“You think crazy things about women. I don’t know where you come up with this stuff.”
Kell’s face heated. He stared out the window for a minute and took a deep breath.“I didn’t mean it to be rude. It’s just that most women chatter on and on without even thinking about what they’re saying.”
“Oh really? And what else do we do, Doctor?”
“Sometimes I feel like women manipulate. They never say what they mean but expect us men to understand what they’re saying.”
“Most men find that intriguing and mysterious.”
“I find it nauseating and exhausting.”
“I’ll remember that,” she said, with a curt nod.“I’ll always say exactly what I’m thinking when I’m with you. Wouldn’t want you to have to read into anything, or ponder a lady’s remarks, now would we?”
“No. I like it clean cut. Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
Sidney laughed at him.
“What’s so funny about that?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“No, tell me.” His voice was sounded as irritated as he felt. He didn’t like being laughed at, especially by her. But, it was better that all this came out. It made his other feelings for her a lot easier to ignore.
“I was just thinking how many good things you miss out on. We might be intolerable in a lot of areas, but we’re also tender, compassionate, and kind.”
Kell didn’t say anything. She had a way of putting all his feelings into words and the thought of what he was missing out on, with her right next to him in the car, was terrible.
“It’s kind of ironic that in your deepest desire to control everything around you, you miss out on all the good things of women.”
“I am not controlling.”
“Okay.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?‘Okay,’”
“Okay, you’re not contro
lling.”
“You think I’m controlling?”
“It doesn’t really matter. But I’ll be direct, since you like it that way. I think you’re so upset about one woman, maybe something you weren’t in control of, that now, you’re putting all your anger on the entire gender. It makes you look like a silly boy, despite your age. And maybe inside you’re not such a jerk. How’s that for direct?”
“Very. I’m not mad at her…I don’t date because I’m trying to raise a son and run a medical practice. I don’t want the complication of a relationship in my life. That’s why.”
“I get it. Besides, you don’t owe any explanation to me.”
“You don’t understand anything, Sidney.” His voice was tired.“Turn here. This is Dan’s driveway.”
She smiled at him with a hint of sarcasm.“Thanks for the intense conversation, Kell. You really know how to make a new friend feel special.”
He frowned.“I’m not trying to make you feel special. You already know how special you are. You certainly don’t need to hear it from me.” He said more than he intended to say.
She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. He thought she was going to say something witty or sassy in return but she didn’t. She stayed quiet.
She opened the car door after a few moments. The cold air hit his face. She stepped outside. He glanced at her,but didn’t say anything. He opened his door and got out of the car.“What exactly are we here for again?” he asked.
“I want to invite Dan over for Thanksgiving and I have a few words for him.”
He stared at her.“You’re inviting Dan over for Thanksgiving? Why would you want to do that?”
She shrugged.“I just do.”
“Okay. Good thing I’m not going to be there.”
“I was actually going to invite you and your dad and Jake too,” she said.“I’m sure you already have some place you go to, but I thought I’d extend the invitation nonetheless.”
Kell didn’t know what to say.“We go to my secretary’s house. Amanda the waitress goes too.”
“They’re all more than welcome at my house. Betty’s doing most of the cooking anyways. My mom is coming”
An Ordinary Love (A Christian Contemporary Romance) (Sidney's Sanctuary Book 1) Page 15