Kell spoke, his voice more serious than normal.“I’ll get the lights up. Are you coming tonight for the lighting of the tree in the town square?”
“Yes. When Jeff comes back, we’re supposed to go together. How about you?”
“I’m not sure.” He started for the door and turned back to her.“I’ll come take a look at your wrist this evening after we get home, if you want.”
She shook her head. She wasn’t sure she could handle being alone again with Dr. Kellen.“That’s okay. It’s just a sprain. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Do you want me to call Betty?”
“No. Candace will be back this evening. I’ll manage, but thank you. I’ll see you Monday if I don’t see you before.”
“Sounds good. See you later, Sidney.”
She was practically in tears. She needed to pull herself together. Kell’s kindness was starting to undo her. And that kiss, she couldn’t get out of her mind. Her cell phone rang. It was Jeff. Crap.
“Hi, Jeff,” she said, trying to sound happy.He asked her how she was doing.“I’m fine,” she told him.“Yep, got the guests in. Actually, I sprained my wrist. No, no problem, just a little pain. Dr. Kellen helped me out.”
“Dr. Kellen helped you out?” he said, surprised.“Oh, I’m glad he was there for you when you needed help. Sorry. I wish you could have been there at the finish line.”
What was it about being at the finish line that mattered so much to him? She rolled her eyes.“Jeff, I’ll see you in a few hours. I need to go and offer my guests some coffee.”
Sidney fought the tears the rest of the afternoon. Jeff’s return, Kell’s kindness, her sprained wrist, Kell’s kiss, which still made her tingle, Kell offering to always be there to help her—it had pushed her emotionally over the top. She sighed in relief when Candace walked through the kitchen door. Sidney was making another pot of coffee, trying not think about Kell. She wanted to enjoy her first set of guests, but couldn’t get over the butterflies in her stomach and her gut-wrenching worry over Jeff.
Candace stumbled through the kitchen door and slammed it. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were puffy.“Don’t let him in, okay?” She ran up the back stairs to her room.
Someone knocked on Sidney’s front door. When she opened it, Danny Holberg stood before her. His face was ashen white and his eyes were stricken with concern.
“Hi, Danny? What can I do for you?” she asked.
“I need to see Candace.”
“She said she wanted to be left alone. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?” she asked, opening the door wider.
“Tell her I’ll be in my car, waiting. Tell her I’m not going anywhere. Tell her that I’m going to sit in my car like a cop, staking out her house. I’m not leaving until I can talk to her about everything. Tell her that I love her.”
“You love her?” Sidney asked.“I thought you and Candace broke up years ago?”
“Is that what she told you?” he asked. He raked his hands through his hair.“That’s crazy. I can’t believe she told people that. If we haven’t seen each other in the last couple of years, how in the world do you think I could be the father of her baby?”
Before Sidney could say anything, Candace came barreling down the stairs.“Enough, Danny. Just go and never come back.”
“Candy Cane, don’t do this. You love me as much as I love you. We’re made for each other. I’ll be a good dad. Trust me.”
She opened the kitchen door and shoved him with all the might she possessed, which wasn’t much. He stumbled backwards but marched back to the door. He stood on the porch like a forlorn puppy begging to come in.“Please don’t do this, Candy Cane. I’ll make my mom understand. I’ll finish college. I’ll still do what I wanted to do, but none of that matters, if I don’t have you.”
“Go back to school, Danny. It’s over. The baby’s not yours.” She slammed the door in his face and ran upstairs.
He stood looking through the window. He pressed his hands to the glass. His eyes were filled with tears. Sidney opened the door.“You better go.”
He stared through her.“This isn’t fair. I love her. Always have. Always will. What do you do when someone won’t let you do the right thing?”
Sidney’s heart went out to the guy.“I’ll tell her to call you, okay?”
“Sure. I’ll be at my parents’ house the rest of the weekend. Tell her where I am. I’ll stop by in the morning too. Tell her I’ll come three times a day until we work this out.”
“I’ll tell her, Danny.” Sidney smiled at him and closed the kitchen door. She paused for a moment and filled a couple cups of coffee with Candace’s favorite creamer in hers and trudged up the stairs.
Chapter Eighteen
Truths Told on a Night So Cold
Sidney knocked on Candace’s door.“You can come in,” she said.“It doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you anything, though. I told you when I came to work for you, I wanted to be left alone.”
Sidney opened the door quietly, remembering that she had her first set of guests at her house and needed to be careful not to disturb them.“I remember the day you came to my house,” she said, taking a step inside.“I’m glad you stayed.”
Candace was lying on her bed, her back to the door. Sidney heard her sniffle. Candace wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. Her hair hung over her face.“I’m sorry about Danny. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again. He’ll leave me alone if I make him.”
“That boy really cares about you. Why did you tell him to leave you alone?”
“Because I’m about ready to have a baby and I can’t deal with a guy right now. I’ve got other things to deal with. Like what I’m going to do in a few months when this kid comes out.” She pointed to her protruding belly.“I’ve got to find a family who wants to adopt.”
Sidney raised an eyebrow and sat down on the end of Candace’s bed.“Now that we both know Danny Holberg loves you, do you want to tell me the story?”
Candace wiped her eyes and put her hands on the sides of her temples.“It’s so messed up, Sidney. We pretty much grew up together. I love him so much it hurts my heart.”
“So why have you kept it a secret?”
“When Betty found us in his barn a couple of years ago, I realized she wanted something different for her son than a small town girl. I broke it off.”
“That was two years ago?”
“Yeah, when I was sixteen. We’d been best friends since we were little kids. We always hung out together in school. My grandma kept telling me to stay away from the Holberg's. She didn’t like how opinionated Betty could be. Anyways, after a few months of me trying to avoid him, he finally wouldn’t let me.”
“What do you mean, wouldn’t let you?”
“He cried and told me that he loved me and I couldn’t just pretend that I didn’t love him back.
“I told him that I didn’t love him back. He didn’t believe me. Told me he wasn’t going to give up.”
“And then what happened?”
“He went off to school. He’s a year older than me. He wrote me and texted me. I finally went over to visit him one weekend and we’d meet once in a while over in Seattle in a friend’s dorm. We secretly saw each other for almost a year. Then, I got pregnant. I almost had an abortion. Almost. But I love Danny so much, I just couldn’t get rid of something that is a part of him.”
Sidney nodded. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.“And then?”
“And then I disappeared. I changed my phone number and stopped emailing, got off Facebook. I knew my grandmother wouldn’t tell him where I was and only one of my friends knew, but I made Rebecca swear she wouldn’t tell him. He somehow figured it out. I think Betty told him I was staying here on the phone one day. And that I was pregnant. She wondered if he had any idea who the father could be.”
“Why are you telling him that this baby isn’t his?”
“Because I don’t want to ruin his life. His mom and dad got pregnant before t
hey were ready and he doesn’t want to end up stuck on this island. He deserves better.”
“Don’t you think he should have a say in this too?”
Candace stood up off the bed. She placed her hands on her stomach, her eyes filled up with tears.“What else can I do? I don’t want him to marry me or stay with me out of obligation.”
“That boy is crazy about you. He was calling you Candy Cane, for crying out loud.”
“Betty doesn’t want this for her son. And I like Betty now. They’ll kill him for getting me pregnant. And everyone would want us to get married. I don’t want to get married. Besides, I’m not ready to be a mom.”
Sidney squinted her eyes and scooted closer to Candace.“You might have a point. But there’s got to be a way to do this and not lose the boy you care so much about. He needs to know he’s got a baby coming.”
Candace shook her head.“You don’t get it. In my family and his family there’s only one way to do it. Get married. I’m not going to ask him to ruin his life and whole future. I love him too much for that. Not to mention, I’m not ready to be a mom. No one would be okay with adoption if they knew Danny wanted to help me. They’d pressure me.”
“Are you sure about adoption? What if you and Danny didn’t get married but had the baby and he could come and visit and over time you figure things out?”
“Sidney, that’s not going to happen. My grandmother would pressure him to marry me and make me an honest woman and everyone would agree. No. I will take the flack for this. I don’t want Danny to lose his life because we slept together and forgot birth control one time. Besides, there are lots of people who want babies. I’ve made my decision. I want to give the baby up for adoption.”
“Candace, maybe I could figure out a way to help you.”
She shook her head.“You’ve already done enough for me. Don’t try to fix this, Sidney. Old families are hard to change. And don’t tell Betty. I’ll lie straight through my teeth. It’ll be your word against mine and she’ll want to believe me, I promise. She won’t want to think of her son Danny doing it with the like’s of me. Why do you think she came after me with a broom?”
“You don’t think she’d be upset later when she finds out you hid this from her? Betty loves you now.”
“Betty loves me because I’m a pregnant girl in need. Tell her I’m having her son’s baby, and she’ll do more than come after me with a broom.”
Sidney refused to believe Candace. There had to be something she could do.“Let me think about it, okay? And in the meanwhile, try to keep Danny from blowing it all over the island.
Candace walked towards Sidney and wrapped her arms around her with such a fierceness it took Sidney’s breath away.“Thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t know where I’d be without you. You’ve been a true sanctuary to me.”
Sidney put her hand on her head.“You’re welcome. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere, yet.” Candace clung to her for a few moments, not wanting to let go. Sidney’s heart went out to her. She was trying so hard to be brave and ensure the life of Danny at the risk of her own well-being. It made Sidney like Candace even more.
She glanced at her watch. It was almost time to go down to the ferry to pick Jeff up. The pressure in her head was so heavy, she couldn’t think straight.
~
Pastor Matt came home to some very grumpy people, after being in his office most of the day. He’d spent the entire morning thinking about his sermon about courage. What would have happened if Joseph had taken the easy way out and divorced Mary? What would have happened if Mary had said she was too afraid to have the Messiah? What would have happened if Joseph had stuck to tradition and been unwilling to do something different? Everything would have changed. Most of the time courage was the most vital part of making a good decision. He was going to invite Sidney to hear his sermons on courage. Maybe she’d come.
Kell was sitting in the living room watching the news. Jake was at the computer. Jake seemed to be fine. Kell hardly looked up at Matt, and had a grim, distant look about him. The Christmas lights were hanging, just the way Jake liked them.
“Are we going to the Christmas tree lighting?” Pastor Matt asked.“We need to leave pretty soon if we’re going to get a good spot to stand.”
Jake hopped up.“I’ll go put on some warmer clothes.”
Kell glanced up from the news.“I’d forgotten about it. Do you mind taking Jake by yourself? I’d like to stay in.”
Jake hurdled back down the stairs.“No. You can’t miss it, Dad. We go every year. It’s like a tradition.”
Kell scruffed Jake’s hair.“I know, kiddo. I’m just not feeling up to it tonight.”
Jake’s face saddened.“Please Dad, it won’t be the same without you.”
Kell let out a loud sigh.“All right. Let me just go get a sweatshirt and some warmer socks to put on.”
Pastor Matt stared at him. Kell had never missed a tree lighting. He hoped he wasn’t coming down with something. For goodness’ sake he thought, his son is forty-five years old.
An hour later Pastor Matt, Kell, and Jake were walking down Main Street, pushing through the crowds. Matt greeted people as he usually did, with a kind smile and a loving hug or handshake. This was his island; these were the people he loved. Perez was his home and he treasured his life here. The thought of retirement stuck in his throat. Was it that he was afraid of change? He really didn’t think so. His time to retire had not yet come. He understood this. But why didn’t everyone else?
Off in the distance, he spotted Astrid Peterson, with her grim face. Pastor Matt did his best to wave at her and catch her eye. He watched her scour the crowd, no doubt looking for Candace. He glanced around at all the people as well, and after looking for a minute or two, he spotted Candace and Sidney, along with Jeff, off to the right. Sidney’s hair was billowing out of her hat.
Pastor Matt nudged Kell.“There’s Sidney and Jeff, walking with Candace. Maybe we should go say hi. It’s Sidney’s first Christmas lighting.”
Kell shrugged.“I’m sure Sidney isn’t worried about me saying hi to her. You two go ahead, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Matt crinkled his brow. Jake hadn’t been paying attention. Out of nowhere he spoke up.“Hey! There’s Sidney. I’m going to go over and say hi, okay, Dad?”
Kell frowned. Matt patted his head.“Sure, kiddo. I’ll go with you.” Matt gave Kell a quick questioning glance. Kell shook his head and gave Matt a rebuffed glare.
Whatever Kell’s problem was, he didn’t want to go near it with a ten-foot pole. When Kell’s nerves were raw he could be the most ornery man around.
Jake ran over and Sidney leaned down to gave him a one-arm hug. Matt smiled at her. She gave him a quick side hug.“How are you guys?”
“What did you do to your arm?” Jake asked. Matt realized she had it wrapped in an ace bandage.
“I got hurt trying to get my lights up. Thankfully, your dad helped me. He broke my fall.”
That seemed rather mysterious to Matt. What had happened?
Sidney’s eyes went past him and lighted up. He turned around and saw Betty and Dan walking toward them. Their smiles were wide; their eyes were alive with fun and life. He was shocked. Betty hugged Sidney straightaway.“Everything okay?” Betty asked. What’d you do to your arm?”
“I fell off the house trying to put the lights up.”
Betty’s mouth fell open. She reached out and took Sidney’s arm inher hands.“What in the world were you trying to do that for? You could have asked Big Dan to help!”
Sidney shrugged.“Kell ended up helping me.” She shifted her hat around on her head.
Jeff put his arm around Sidney.“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help, Sidney. I should have cancelled my marathon.”
Sidney turned Betty and Dan.“You two look happy.”
Dan beamed up at her and pulled Betty into his side.“We are. We can’t thank you enough, Sidney—for everything you’ve done for us. Thanks for your advice.”
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Betty squeezed Sidney’s shoulder. She looked over at Candace.“How are you doing? Getting ready for those classes we need to start up in January? It’s coming up, isn’t it?”
Candace’s face grew serious and she put her hands on her belly.“It is. I can’t believe it’s coming. It’s not like I can hold back the time, can I?”
Betty put her hand on her shoulder.“Don’t you worry. I gave birth to four big boys. It’ll be just fine. We’ll get through this, together.”
Candace shifted her stance.“Thanks, Betty.” Her voice came out quiet.
“No problem.”
“Where’s Kell?” Dan asked.
Betty patted him on the arm.“He’s probably out hiding, making sure you don’t take another swing at him.”
Dan frowned.“We hung out all day together yesterday and he was fine. Where is he?”
Jake piped up.“He’s over there,” he pointed.“He didn’t even want to come tonight.”
Matt decided to say something to change the subject.“So Betty?” he said, looking at her.“Are you going to keep working at the B&B even though you moved back home?”
Sidney’s eyes widened with a bright smile.“You bet she is. She’s going to help me make breakfast. I couldn’t do this without her.”
Betty smiled warmly.“You know, Pastor Matt. One of the great mistakes of my life these past thirty years was that I forgot some of my own dreams. I loved taking care of my family, but forgot my life outside of it. I’m not going to do that again.” She shot Jeff a fast glare.“That is, if Sidney stays.”
Dan hugged her.“Whatever happens, you’re going to do something that fulfills you.”
Matt lifted up a quick prayer of thanks.“That’s wonderful, Betty. I’m glad to see you so happy.” He looked around, wondering where Danny, their youngest had gone to.“Did Danny go back to school?”
Betty shook her head.“No, he said he was coming, but with his own set of friends. I don’t know what’s gotten into that boy. He acted like a lunatic when he got home this afternoon. He was chopping that wood with passion. We haven’t chopped wood in years.”
An Ordinary Love (A Christian Contemporary Romance) (Sidney's Sanctuary Book 1) Page 23