Her words were cutting to the core of him. Leo’s well-being was what mattered. It was all that mattered.
She cleared her throat. “Jennifer knew she meant nothing to you. She chose not to tell you because she believed you didn’t want to hear it. I wasn’t sure what was right.”
They stared at each other for a long moment. Colt’s emotions were crashing against each other. “I need to go. I need to think.” Turning, he started back toward the pasture. The long walk here had seemed a good idea when the sun came up, but now he just wanted to be away, and the last place he wanted to go at that moment was across the backyard and Leo’s path...his child.
He had a child. And he wasn’t sure what in the world to do about it.
* * *
Annie watched Colt stride off. She was speechless. What could she say? He’d looked angry—tortured and angry. She’d expected it. So why was she baffled by his attitude? Why indeed, when she didn’t have a clue how to handle the next step in all this? How did she go about telling Leo that his hero was also his daddy?
She followed Colt at a distance. This would give them both a chance to regroup. She’d get her shower, a pot of hot black coffee and some much-needed time to think while she was at work. They could move forward later.
She found Leo trying to rope the docile Samantha, who stood still as a stuffed animal, not moving anything but her jaw as she munched on a long piece of grass.
Colt stood for a minute watching them. His good arm tucked in his jeans pocket.
“You’re doing good, Leo,” he said, his eyes cutting to her for a moment. “I’ll talk to you later.” The subtle displeasure was clear to Annie. She said nothing as she watched him head back across the pasture.
Annie’s stomach growled, echoing the frustration she was feeling.
“Come on in, Leo, I need to check your temperature. Then it’s time to get ready for day care if you feel better.”
“Aw, Annie Aunt, I wanna stay home and play with Samantha. She’s great!”
Despite everything, Annie laughed. Maybe it was just nerves, but suddenly she loved that little donkey for the distraction that she was and the friend she suddenly felt that she was going to be to Leo. “Maybe she’ll hang around till you come home this afternoon. If not, then maybe Miss Lilly and Mr. Cort will let you go visit.”
He beamed, walked over and threw his arms around Samantha’s neck. “That’d be the best thing ever.”
Annie’s eyes filled with unexpected tears. Sweet boy. What was he going to do when he found out about his daddy?
A peace came over her and she knew telling him was going to be the easy part. The good part.
It was she and Colt who were going to have the problem. As it stood, neither one of them trusted the other. But she knew that when Colt realized she’d been trying to do the right thing for all involved, and that she had been trying to do what was best for Leo, he would understand.
Whatever happened between her and Colt was no longer the issue. He was going to be a great asset to Leo’s life. Leo was going to love having his bull-riding hero as his daddy. Leo was going to think that was the best thing ever!
Chapter Eight
As if it were meant to be, the books were not as filled up that day at work as they normally were. Susan was scheduled to be in the office for most of the day, and Gabi, too. After a very hot shower and a mental pep talk over two quick cups of very dark coffee, Annie had dropped Leo off at day care and raced to work. Gabi didn’t have much to say to her. Though she wasn’t ugly, she was definitely quiet. Since she’d been very friendly and helpful when they’d first met, Annie could no longer deny that Gabi knew, or heavily suspected, that Leo was Colt’s child. Maybe she was unsure why Annie was hiding the truth or how to handle the situation. Annie agreed with her.
She usually liked to handle things in a straightforward way. But this way was odd, awkward and totally uncomfortable. Around midmorning it was Susan who took the bull by the horns.
“Okay.” Susan propped her hip against the counter, as was her habit when she was in the office area talking or waiting on printouts of information and such. “I’m just going to hit this thing head-on. What’s going on between the two of you? The tension in this room is as thick as Norma Sue’s chocolate pie.”
Knowing it was time to set things straight with Colt before talking to anyone else, Annie said, “If you don’t mind, I need to take off for a few hours. Maybe the rest of the day. I really don’t know for certain. I need to take care of something.”
Susan looked from her to Gabi, crossed her arms and nodded. “Fine. When you get back, will this thing between the two of you be better?”
Gabi met Annie’s gaze but remained silent. Annie swallowed the lump in her throat so she could continue. She really liked Gabi and didn’t want this hanging between them. “I think so.” It was all going to come out; however, until she spoke with Colt again, she wasn’t saying anything to anyone. But she knew she had to do this. God had been leading her to this point all along. And though she’d been stubborn about much of the plan, she was on board now.
Susan headed toward the doors to the back. At the door she paused. “Take the day if you need it. And if you need to talk—either one of you—I’m here.”
They watched Susan go and then Annie turned to Gabi. “Can you tell me how to get to Colt’s cabin from here?”
* * *
Colt was standing on the front porch when Annie’s old car came driving through the trees. A host of emotions had rolled through him since learning that Leo might be his: disbelief, joy, anger. He was glad he’d walked away this morning after confronting Annie.
Confronting Annie when Leo was around the corner hadn’t been a good idea. Plus, he’d needed to think, and Annie had said something that had pulled him back from the brink of making a major mistake. He’d been ready to demand custody of his son. Demand his rights and take back what was his. But Annie had reminded him that she’d been doing what she believed was right for Leo.
What was right for Leo?
That question plagued him. What was right for his son?
In the midst of his anger he’d lost sight of a lot of things. Calmer now, he knew Leo deserved better than him.
“I thought we needed to talk,” she said, closing her car door and walking his way.
She looked like a reed in her jeans and white T-shirt, and he wondered if part of her thinness had to do with worrying about coming to Mule Hollow and meeting him.
“That’d be an understatement.” He wasn’t feeling any generosity toward her.
“I know you’re angry, Colt. I’m sorry, and I can’t do anything to help that now. But I’m here to work something out now. I’m here to set this straight.”
He gave a caustic laugh that in no way even came close to the way he was feeling. “All I keep thinking about is what if you never came to Mule Hollow.”
“But God wouldn’t let me stay away. My conscience was heavy and then the fire made me realize that if I had died...” She paused at the memory of how close that had been to becoming a reality. “Leo would have been left seemingly all alone in this world. I knew then that I had to come.”
He just watched her, silent.
“If it makes any difference, I did come with the intention of telling you that first day. But you were in such a hurry to leave, and I could tell something wasn’t right.”
He flinched, knowing she spoke the truth. “You’ve had several chances since then to tell me.” His words were as cool as his heart felt. “He’s my son, Annie. He’s been my son from the moment he was conceived, and yet I didn’t get the opportunity to be his father.”
“I’m sorry, Colt. I truly am. I never understood my sister. Never understood what drove her to throw herself at men like you—” She turned white at her words. Words that
hit their mark.
“No need to look shocked. I’ve honestly done some soul searching since Jess and Luke told me all of their suspicions. And I’m not very proud of my behavior. I would change things if I could.”
“We need to look at the future now. The past can’t be changed. How do you want to tell Leo?”
Colt’s heart ached. He’d thought long and hard about this and knew that he wasn’t worthy to let Leo call him Daddy. There were two children dead because of him. He didn’t deserve the happiness he’d felt when he’d learned of Leo. He wasn’t deserving of such a gift.
“We’re not going to tell him.”
Annie couldn’t believe what he was saying; it was written in her expression.
“I’m going to start being financially responsible for him. I’ll pay for his needs and eventually catch up for all the child support that I should have been paying.”
“What do you mean, not tell him?”
Colt stalked off the porch away from her. Telling himself with each step to remain steady, that this was the only way to do this. “He deserves better than me.”
“I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t think you were a good man. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Even though I felt God leading me here. I couldn’t do it—couldn’t tell you until I saw for myself that you were a good man. And you are. I don’t understand why you are refusing your son.”
The sun hammered down on them, and a trickle of sweat rolled down his temple. He swiped it away impatiently. “This is the way it’s going to be, Annie. I’m going to let you continue to be his guardian. Things will remain like they are except you’ll have my financial support.”
Annie’s eyes flashed. “That’s it? That doesn’t make sense. What gives you the right to deny him this?”
“What gave you the right to deny him this in the first place?” His jaw clenched and he glared at her, furious. “I’ve missed six years of my son’s life because of you and your sister, and now you want to judge my decision to stay out of the picture?”
“Why? That’s all I’m asking. You acted like you were mad, but now you refuse to tell him. Colt, you will make a wonderful father. And Leo adores you. Jennifer did make certain of that. You have to give her that much.”
Colt knew the truth. He wasn’t worthy to be called anyone’s hero, much less their father.
He reached in his pocket and pulled out the check he’d written. “Take this.”
She stared at it. “I didn’t come here for that,” she scoffed. “We are doing fine. I came here for you. Leo needs his daddy and, as he grows, he will need you more.”
“Use the money and leave it at that.” He crossed to his truck, passing Annie on the way. She glared at him. He glared right back at her. She didn’t have to understand his reasoning. He was making his choice this time, not her and not her sister.
And not God.
* * *
Annie almost crumbled the check into a ball. Almost threw it at Colt’s feet, she was so angry with him. Instead she clutched it in her fist and waited for him to leave. Good riddance. The man was good at leaving. Her head spun with the disbelief at what he’d just told her.
Angry and confused, she stuffed the check into her purse and drove back to the clinic just down the road from the ranch. Colt was ahead of her, though she hadn’t left his house until after he’d disappeared from view, and she could see his truck now in the distance as she pulled into the gravel parking lot of the clinic.
Walking into the office, Annie came face-to-face with Gabi, coming through the double doors from the back of the building.
“I gather by the look on your face that your meeting with Colt didn’t go well,” Gabi said, her eyebrows knitting together.
“That man really, really gets my dander up,” Annie grumbled, not feeling charitable at all. “He’s a pigheaded, stubborn man and I don’t understand him at all!”
Gabi took a deep breath. “Whew, I guess it didn’t go too well.”
“At the very least,” Annie huffed. “I mean really, I give the guy what I think he wants to hear and then he...” Staring at Gabi, Annie shook her head. “Gabi, I really need some advice here, and you or Montana are the two perfect people for me to confide in. You’re his soon-to-be sister-in-law and Montana’s already family. That makes you and Montana Leo’s aunts. That makes this your business, too.”
Gabi’s lips flattened into a firm line and she nodded, acknowledging what Annie was certain she’d already figured out. “We thought so,” Gabi said quietly. “He doesn’t really look like Colt, but despite that, when you look at him, he looks like a miniature Colt. It’s because of their build and their mannerisms. When I first saw him I thought he looked familiar, that I knew another little boy that he reminded me of. But then while you were standing here talking, he made a face about something and stuck the tip of his tongue out, and it slammed into me that it was Colt I was seeing. The same thing happened to Luke and Jess when you first met them.”
“I didn’t get the similarities until I got here. Not ever having really seen Colt, I had no idea until I saw him.” Annie sank into her chair, so thankful that the office was slow today. She sent a thank-you up to the Lord, because she knew He’d had a hand in that somehow. “I never meant to be deceptive. I had only known Colt was Leo’s daddy for a year. Jenifer told me when she was dying, but made me promise to keep it a secret. She didn’t want to push Leo on someone who didn’t want him. I think I see what she was doing now, but I couldn’t understand it at first. She didn’t really know Colt. She was just infatuated with him and loved the aspect of him being a rodeo champ.” Annie wagged her head sadly.
“Getting pregnant with Colt’s child—well, my sister was reckless and took chances if she thought she would enjoy herself. My conscience bothered me all year. Nearly dying in the fire made me realize that if I hadn’t made it out, Leo would have been left thinking he had no one. Not to mention the fact that Colt should be given the opportunity to know his son. I started looking for jobs in Mule Hollow immediately. Gabi, I came here to tell Colt, not to hide it from him.”
“I believe you. I just didn’t understand. Wow, Annie, you almost died in a fire? That’s horrible.”
Annie nodded. “It was just a calamity of errors. If a search-and-rescue team member hadn’t come by, seen my car running in the drive and hurried to check my place out again, I’d have probably burned out back in my storage room.” Annie shivered thinking about it. “I had gone back to our house after the evacuation notice was served and was grabbing what I could. Leo was safe at day care. We were given only a few minutes’ notice, but since my home and the landscape company I worked for were in the same area I had time to get home to save pictures and a few of Leo’s favorite things. Only, I went out back to grab a box of pictures and some stuff of Jennifer’s he would want one day. The door stuck and trapped me inside.”
Gabi gasped. “The door just wouldn’t open?”
“No. Nothing I did would open it. And there were no windows in the small building. It was horrible. I could smell the smoke getting closer and closer and it was filling up the room. I didn’t think I was going to get out. I prayed for God to help me and He did— He sent someone to open the door. That’s the only explanation I have.”
“That’s amazing. I’m so thankful.”
“Colt doesn’t want to tell Leo that he’s his daddy,” Annie blurted out. “I’ve faced a lot on my own, but I really do need some advice and insight about what to do. Why would Colt want that? I mean, this morning when he walked across the pastures to confront me, he seemed like he was furious that he hadn’t had the opportunity to be Leo’s daddy. But then he just handed me a check and told me he was going to be financially responsible but that was it. Something about not being worthy to be called Leo’s hero, much less his daddy.”
Annie’s frustration
s hadn’t let up and the words were just rattling from her. Gabi patiently waited and listened, then spoke.
“He thinks he should have died in that car accident, not the Everson family. Especially those two children. Colt’s been messed up really bad, Annie. Jess and Luke have been extremely worried about him. It’s almost as if he’s had nothing to live for. He’s been holed up out there all this time, and that day you saw him at the office was kind of an intervention. They were trying to get him to snap out of his dazed, emotional state of mind. Like you, when you were stuck in that shed, we’ve been praying for God to help Colt. You and Leo have been so good for him. He came to Montana’s for dinner with all of us last night and he seemed like he was in a better place than he’s been in a long time.”
Annie’s blood pressure came down a few points as remorse hit her. “I lost sight of what he’d been through. I can’t even begin to understand the emotions that come with being involved in a tragedy like that.”
“Maybe he just needs time. Time and prayer. I know God’s got a plan. And despite what Colt is feeling right now, he wasn’t responsible for what happened. And even if he was, despite what he believes, everyone is redeemable in God’s eyes. I don’t think Colt believes that.”
Annie was stunned. “Oh, Gabi, how could I have overlooked the need he must have to overcome what had happened in his life?” The reality that this wasn’t just about her and Leo sank in. Colt was struggling, and she kept forgetting that he had some major things to deal with besides the sudden appearance of a son. Annie asked God to forgive her for her shortsighted selfishness.
* * *
Annie was still praying off and on when she picked Leo up at day care. For this child’s sake she prayed all things would work out for the best.
Annie was determined she would do whatever it took to help the situation work out right. In her mind, that was for Leo to know Colt Holden was his daddy.
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