Boy Meets Hamster

by Birdie Milano

  ‘No wonder she blanked me. When you didn’t come to meet me at the showhall I thought—’

  ‘Meet you?’ Leo looked confused. ‘I’ve been avoiding the park so I didn’t run into her. Mum even shut the Pie-O-Ria in protest. We heard about the fire, though, and I had to check you weren’t caught up in it. This was the only place I could think of to wait – I knew you’d have to come through these gates eventually.’

  I couldn’t believe it. He must have been fired before I even caught up to him in the tent yesterday. I groaned painfully.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Leo asked.

  ‘Oh, nothing. I just might have also asked Margaret on a date.’

  Leo tipped his head back and laughed properly, then, and I couldn’t help staring at the long arch of his throat and how quick his pulse was beating, there. Like he was nervous too. He never seemed to let anything but calm show on his face, but gradually I was learning his other tells.

  When I looked up, he was grinning at me again. ‘Tell her I’ll fight her for you.’

  I exhaled a laugh of my own into the frustrating half-inch of space between us. The tiny distance that was keeping me from knowing how warm his skin was, or exactly what he smelt like up close. The distance between a conversation and a kiss.

  It was a painful amount of space, but I was still wishing I could stay in it forever when Mum yelled from the car, ‘Dylan – Dylan, darling!’

  Her voice pulled me back to earth and the harsh reality that I was about to be dragged away too early, again. Ready to die of frustration, I sighed miserably. ‘We’re leaving.’

  ‘We’re going back to the caravan!’ Mum called at the same time. I whirled round to stare at her.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Jude needs the bathroom!’

  ‘And I forgot my straighteners,’ Kayla called over, before tipping the most obvious wink ever in my direction.

  They were being so embarrassing. But I was so lucky they were my embarrassments. After Mum checked whether I wanted to walk back to the caravan with Leo or get in the car next to a little brother on the verge of turning into a human sprinkler system, they headed back into the park without me. Dad tooted the horn as a cheery goodbye.

  The half-inch distance suddenly seemed even more difficult to cross with no one watching. Staring down at my feet, I could see just how close Leo was standing to me.

  Carefully, he bumped my trainer with his toe.

  ‘So if you’re sure you don’t want to reschedule your hot date with Margaret . . . How about going to the Stardance with me?’

  I snapped my head up so quickly that I almost smacked my forehead into his nose. Which would have been brilliant of me, obviously. It’s probably just some kind of careless oversight that none of the famous Hollywood kisses feature an unstoppable nosebleed.

  But, as quickly as I felt my hopes soar, they came crashing back down to shatter at my feet. The Stardance had been off-limits ever since the corned beef casseroletastrophe.

  ‘We’re still banned. Jude’s a fire hazard, remember?’ I thought I could feel my heart physically wrench over having to say no.

  ‘That was when it was going to be held in the showhall, right? I think the damage there’s already been done.’ Leo grinned. ‘They can’t accuse Jude of blocking any exits in a field. And I might have been sacked, but I’ve still got my ticket, and a plus-one.’

  My mind raced back to Mum’s stand-off with Margaret, trying to remember if she actually threw the tickets back at her. I didn’t think she had. So, if Leo had one extra . . . that would mean we’d have enough for everyone. Mum might actually agree to go.

  Margaret definitely wouldn’t want us there: as far as she was concerned I was still barred from everything until after the Park of the Year announcement. But that was going to be at the dance itself. She’d never notice a few of the names from the top of her blacklist creeping into the party under cover of night.

  Besides, we could be subtle.

  Or, we might manage not to get anyone run over or sprayed with meat this time, anyway. And I really wanted to see Leo dance again, the way I’d glimpsed before – all flawless lines and more grace than any normal human should be capable of. Most of all, though, I really wanted him to dance with me.

  ‘Dylan?’ The soft way Leo said my name was coupled with his hand wrapping gently round my wrist. His fingers tucked just under my sleeve and set off a billion tiny electric shocks all across my nerve endings. I caught a quick, involuntary breath.

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘That was kind of a question. And you still haven’t said yes or no.’

  I really had to stop spending so much time visualizing the way situations might go in my head, and forgetting to actually live them. Leo was right there, the gap between us neatly bridged by the reach of his arm. I slid my hand slowly upwards until I could press my fingers between his and let them curl tight.

  Leaning down until his lips were so close to my ear that I could feel his breath against my skin, he asked again. ‘Will you come to the dance with me?’

  ‘Yeah.’ I smiled. ‘Of course.’

  FORTY-SEVEN

  Mum and Dad didn’t take much persuading to postpone leaving for a few hours. Even if part of it was only to spite Margaret, once Leo told them about his extra golden ticket they were delighted to have an excuse to shake the mothballs off their cringiest outfits and get down to the fairground field. They vanished as soon as we got there, getting lost among the gang of dancing Elvises who were trying to bully the DJ into playing songs from before the dawn of time.

  One of them had lent Jude a big plastic quiff to cover up his bubblegum buzzcut, and was teaching him how to hand jive with the rest.

  I walked through the crowds hand in hand with Kayla. In a field lit with fairy lights and the blinking lamps of the fairground rides, she was the sparkliest thing there. She had glitter eyeshadow to match her sequin dress, and her pink curls were braided and pinned into a crown around her head.

  ‘It’s not too fairytale princess?’ she asked, catching sight of her reflection in the polished surface of a bumper car.

  I shook my head instantly. ‘No. More like the world’s best fairy godmother.’

  Both of us were trying to spot Leo. He’d had to go to hand in his staff uniform – the one he wore when he wasn’t dressed as a hamster – but he’d promised to meet us, and this time I wasn’t busily running through all the reasons he might not show up. That had already happened once. I knew I’d survive.

  And I knew for sure I’d have someone to dance with. I’d already promised Kayla. Nothing was going to spoil how beautiful this night was.

  ‘There’s your boyfriend.’

  A voice I half recognized cut in through the music, and both Kayla and I froze. For some reason I found myself turning round half expecting to see Leo waiting there.

  It was Jayden-Lee. He was standing with Kev and Leroy and Dean, and he didn’t look like he was having fun. They’d formed a sort of semicircle, with him on the outside.

  ‘Couldn’t even get a kiss from him,’ Dean said, leering my way.

  ‘Have you ever actually got off with anyone, Jay?’

  ‘He so hasn’t. It’s all talk.’

  I made a move towards them, wanting to weigh in on the boyfriend comments at least, but Kayla’s grip on my hand tightened and held me back.

  ‘You’ve not seen me at home,’ Jayden-Lee was saying. ‘It’s different. They’re lining up.’

  He sounded younger somehow, like a kid making up lies in the playground. It wasn’t working, either.

  ‘Yeah, lining up at the exit. Like when you cleared the pool,’ Kev jeered. The others laughed. The huddle around Jayden-Lee closed tighter as we watched.

  Kayla pushed herself on to tiptoe and whispered in my ear, ‘Back in a sec.’

  Then she stalked across and tapped Jayden-Lee on the shoulder. As he turned around I prepared myself for one of her lectures, but it never happened.

  Not unles
s she was lecturing directly into his mouth.

  For one brief moment they were pressed together: her glowing like starlight and him leaning down to meet her, golden and just as beautiful. He was gasping for breath when she pulled back from the kiss, smiled, and walked away – to a chorus of woops and whistles behind her.

  ‘You’re going to have to become a lawyer for the defence, not the prosecution,’ I whispered as she joined me. ‘You’re way too good at saving people.’

  ‘My defence skills only go so far,’ she said. ‘If he thinks he’s going to kiss me again, he’ll have to present a very strong case for it. And spend at least two years doing some serious growing up.’

  ‘Well, I still think you’re a miracle worker.’

  Not far away, Jayden-Lee’s friends were clapping him on the back. The way he was smiling, it looked like she’d made his whole year.

  But Kayla was pulling away from me again.

  ‘Hey,’ I said. ‘Where are you going now?’

  ‘Oh, I thought I might see if I can find someone to kiss that I actually fancy.’ She smirked at me. ‘Maybe the blonde over there’s more my type.’

  I looked over to where she was gesturing, trying to keep it discreet. ‘The only guys over there are about ninety, Kayla.’

  A small smile caught at her lips. ‘Who says I meant a guy?’

  I looked again. There was the blonde girl I’d seen Kayla with at the fair. She was about our age, and dancing with her eyes closed, like she could live inside the music that way. When the song changed she looked across, and waved shyly at Kayla.

  ‘We made friends at yoga,’ Kayla said. ‘Her name’s Summer. She’s nice.’

  She watched the realization slowly dawn on my face.

  ‘You never said.’

  ‘You never asked. And I’ve never really worried about it, much.’

  Patting me on the shoulder, she smiled and started to walk away.

  ‘So you’re just leaving me on my own?’ I called, grinning too much to look like I really minded.

  Kayla turned back for a second and pointed. ‘You’re not.’

  ‘Dylan?’

  I pivoted slowly on my heels in the direction of the voice. Low and soft, it was one I’d come to recognize.

  Like he always seemed to, Leo had found me.

  The fairground lights caught on his cheekbones and lit his eyes in shifting colours, the same way they were probably lighting my skin. He’d thrown on a leather jacket over the shirt he’d been wearing before. I wanted to twist my hands into it and pull him in.

  So I did.

  He stepped forward easily, smiling, but now I’d learned how to check for nerves. With the backs of my hands brushing his chest, I could feel his pulse race in competition with mine.

  ‘What is it?’ he asked, tilting his head to assess the way I was looking at him.

  ‘Oh, nothing. Life is just so much better when I can see your face.’

  His hand smoothed up my arm, fingers curling over my shoulder as he asked, ‘So it’s goodbye to the hamster?’

  ‘Good riddance.’ Nibbles really had been my archnemesis all along, keeping Leo hidden. Although he’d sort of brought us together, too, just in a slow, backwards kind of way. I didn’t know if I’d ever have gotten to know Leo if I’d had to do it face on, but now that I had, I couldn’t care less if I never saw his fuzzier alter-ego again.

  On the hastily erected stage, a loudspeaker crackled to life, pumping out the ‘Happy Hamster’ song as Stacie’s voice announced that the Park of the Year prize was about to be awarded. ‘SO PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE OUR MYSTERY JUDGES, ALONG WITH THE FURRY FACE OF STARCROSS SANDS: NIBBLES!’

  The giant hamster bounced his way on to the platform as everyone under four foot began to scream. A group of adoring toddlers mobbed the front of the stage, arms in the air. Nibbles wobbled precariously close, looking like he might roll off the edge and steamroller them any minute. It was only now that I could appreciate just how coordinated Leo had managed to be inside that costume.

  ‘Do you think it’s still Margaret in there?’ I yelled into Leo’s ear, over the noisy delight of a hundred high-pitched playschoolers.

  Leo nodded. ‘I don’t know how she’s doing it. It gets so hot.’

  Nibbles was trailed on to the stage by the three undercover judges, who turned out to be the bald Elvis who’d given Jude his quiff, a hen-fairy still wearing her ‘bride to be’ sash, and a woman dangling a little girl from either arm. Minnie and Winnie’s mum.

  It was the twins’ mum who stepped forward to the microphone, while a man with a camera dived down in front of her, presumably broadcasting the award results to other dances at other caravan parks across the UK.

  Nibbles quickly retreated to dance at the back of the stage.

  I thought I got it, now. I leaned over to tell Leo. ‘She’s wearing the costume because she doesn’t want anyone seeing her face when she loses.’

  ‘The Park of the Year Award rewards destinations with the ability to make holiday makers’ dreams come true,’ the twins’ mum was saying. ‘This year’s winner has faced challenges, and overcome them. It’s shown that, even in the face of adversity, it can still bring people together. So – with a special runners-up mention to Joyful Valley, which is recovering well after being quarantined for a vomiting virus – I’m delighted to announce that the award goes to . . .’

  She left a dramatic, game-show pause, which was completely ruined by the twins standing on tiptoes to yell into the microphone: ‘STARCROSS SANDS!’

  A huge cheer went up. It was the kind of moment you’d expect to be accompanied by explosions and a boy-band power ballad, except that the fireworks had all gone off when the showhall caught fire, and the DJ had been bribed by the Elvises to play something called ‘Heartbreak Hotel’.

  Instead, Starcross Sands’ victory celebration saw Stacie running on to the stage to pull the string on a party popper while, from behind everyone, a gigantic hamster stumbled dizzily forward.

  ‘It’s mine.’ A black slit had opened up along Nibble’s neck, and he pulled upwards on his cheeks, trying to rip his own head off. The toddler’s screams were starting to change in tone from joy to fear.

  From deep inside the costume, a woman’s voice could just be heard. ‘I’ve done it. I’ve done it. It’s mine.’

  Nibbles swayed dangerously while, trapped inside the costume, Margaret held her hamster arms out to receive the award.

  And tumbled over backwards, in a dead faint.

  FORTY-EIGHT

  In the moments that followed, I saw my parents storm the stage yelling that they were medics, helping Stacie to carry Nibbles off so they could treat him without causing further trauma to all the children in the crowd.

  I saw Kayla, catching my eye as she stood smiling beside Summer, their arms linked.

  I saw Jude, who already knew the real Nibbles wasn’t the one with a fake head. The twins dashed down from the stage to join him playing Ring a Ring o’ Roses with the Elvises.

  Not far behind them Troy was looking sullenly on, his hand kept in a vice-like grip by Mrs Slater, who seemed to be wearing the frilly nylon nightie she kept aside for special occasions. While I was watching, Jayden-Lee came up and hooked his elbow through his mum’s other arm, looking hazy and happy, as though his whole life had turned around in one night.

  But, wherever I looked, my attention kept circling right back to Leo, a steady anchor point amid the lights and noise. Though even he was a bit dazed. ‘I can’t believe she actually won it. We won it.’

  Starcross Sands must have still felt a little bit his, even though he was leaving it behind, and by September he’d be back at his dancing school miles and miles away from here. A dancing school, coincidentally, a little bit nearer to me.

  ‘For overcoming adversity and bringing people together,’ I said. My hands were still caught in Leo’s jacket. ‘Can’t argue with that.’

  It was strange because, even though I’d stayed for
less than a week, Starcross Sands felt a little bit mine now, too. At least, this moment did. This moment was going to be mine forever.

  Leo, tilting his head just a little to the side, leaning in towards me.

  ‘No, I can’t argue with that.’

  Me, leaning my head just a little the other way, tilting closer too.

  This moment that was top-of-a-rollercoaster terrifying and brilliant all at once.

  This kiss.

  This time at Starcross Sands. I was keeping it forever.

  Dream boy. Dream holiday. Dreams coming true.

  THE END

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Before writing her first novel, Birdie dabbled in the theatre, sold books at Waterstones, ran drama classes for children, and dispensed romantic advice to internet daters. She studied at two universities cunningly disguised as stately homes, taking a BA in Creative and Professional Writing at St Mary’s, Twickenham, and an MA in Writing for Young People at Bath Spa, where she gained first-class degrees in-between looking for secret passageways and dodging peacocks.

  Birdie is pro-body positivity and anti-bullying, and believes in kindness above all things. She lives in Surrey, where she writes despite the best interruptive efforts of her pets, Ziggy Starcat and Moppet the Wonder Dog.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  This book is for my beautiful mum, who brought me up with books and showed me worlds beyond the wardrobe, and for my brilliant dad, who made toothbrushes and bath towels talk, and in whose voice I can still hear the most infuriating line from the end of my favourite pony comics: ‘But that was another story’.

  I always wanted to know what those untold stories would be.

  Because of both of you, I’m getting to tell my own.

  This book was sometimes tough to write, because it’s not easy to write warm, funny things when the world around you isn’t feeling very warm or funny. So this is for the people I lost along the way: for my Nana, who thought I shone no matter how dark I felt, and for my Grandma and Granddad, who were every childhood holiday I ever took, and who were – all three – the personifications of warmth, humour, love and acceptance.