It is also for my punk rock kitties Sid and Nancy, who were with me for fifteen years, and purred through most of the writing of this book. And it’s for the newer additions to the family: Moppet the Wonder Dog and Ziggy Starcat. It’s for my crowd of aunts, uncles and cousins, who are too many to name, but each of whom hold a shard of my heart.
This book wouldn’t be here without a village comprised of mentors, guides and co-explorers. I’d like to thank my BA Creative Writing lecturers, Russell Schechter and David Savill, who believed in me long before I believed in me – you changed my life.
Thanks to CJ Skuse, who fought for this book against the siren song of my other works-in-progress, and is a wonderful mentor. And to my writing partners, readers and friends: Ruth Griffiths, Cordelia Lamble, Roz Stimpson, Kathryn Clarke, Sarah House, and Julie Pike. You are all marvels.
Plus the friends who put up with my occasionally angsting my way through writing funny: Camila Tessler, Ruxi Iordache, Gee Mumford, Maria Pluzhnikov, Rebecca Hart, Lindsey Cohick, Ashley Parsons-Trew. I love you so and I really hope I’ve spelled all your surnames right.
Thanks to Steph Carfrae for all your positivity and powerchair tips, and to Ellie Bailey for your enthusiasm and kindness. This book is for Aurora Bailey, too. Thanks to Erica, Joff, Sam, Jackie, Micky, Nat, George and everyone at the best day job a writer could ask for.
To my wonder of an agent, Molly Ker Hawn, who I’m pretty sure destiny brought me around to, full circle: thank you for every second of your support. Thank you to Gemma Cooper for all your help and good advice. Thanks to Linzie Hunter for the gorgeous cover art, and thanks to Venetia Gosling, George Lester, Kat McKenna, Bea Cross and the crack team at Macmillan for your wisdom and for whipping my words into shape.
But back to my mum for a moment. I had these acknowledgements all nicely written out before I realised you were going to die on me, Mum, and now I can’t change them too much or I’d write the whole thing about you. My smart, funny mother who knew the answers to every quiz show question on the radio before the contestants did, and got me into ‘retro’ music (thank you forever for Joan Baez and Leonard Cohen), who knew how to be terrifying with a smile, and who loved me fiercely no matter what.
When I first started to let people read this book, the piece of feedback I heard most often was ‘I really loved the character of the mother’. Well, so do I. You’re in every word I’ve ever written, Mum. You’ll be in every word I ever write.
An un-book-related thank you to Mr Jay Chatterjee and Mr Andrea Scala, the kindest surgeons I’ve ever met, and to all the doctors and nurses whose care for Mum was incredible and who helped more than they can know during the hardest time of my life.
This book is for anyone who has ever felt different. Which I’m almost sure is everyone. Thank you for reading.
First published 2018 by Macmillan Children’s Books
This electronic edition published 2018 by Macmillan Children’s Books
an imprint of Pan Macmillan
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Associated companies throughout the world
www.panmacmillan.com
ISBN 978-1-5098-4866-9
Copyright © Birdie Milano 2018
Cover illustration by Linzie Hunter
The right of Birdie Milano to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
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