He turns my face up to his, his thumb on my jaw. I barely register the brush of his lips against mine. And I don’t feel anything. Not like before. There are no sparks within me. I’m empty. A shell. A shell of—
Raleigh. His lips.
I pull away from Corin, breathing hard. My hands shake.
“Sev?” His voice is low. “What is it?”
And I want to tell him, but I don’t. And I tell myself I’m thinking of him, because I know how jealousy eats him up. How it burns and burns and burns and burns.
Jealousy? How can it be jealousy? Raleigh tricked you. You thought he was Corin.
But it still burns me. Fire inside me. And Corin’s eyes are trying to put it out.
“Nothing,” I tell him. The lie makes me feel sick, but I don’t want him to know. I should have realized it wasn’t Corin. Corin, who I loved. No—love. And I didn’t even recognize when it wasn’t him.
Corin gives me a dubious look, and then we set off again, him carrying me.
“I tried to get into the compound twice, to get you and Esther out,” he says after a long time.
“How close did you get?”
“Not that close.” He jolts me up a little in his arms. “There were too many Enhanced about. It’s a bloody big city that one.”
“No one spotted you, did they?”
“No.”
“What about the drones? Three said they use drones to scan this area, to find Untamed.”
My chest tightens. Three said Corin had been detected by a drone. Liar!
“Yeah, they’re monsters,” Corin says.
“They haven’t detected you though?”
He shrugs. “I’m still here. Still Untamed.”
And the way he says it sends warning shivers down my spine. As if it’s a clue that he’s not really who he says it is. Because he’s been conveniently undetected…because he’s Enhanced? Because I’m no freer out here with him than I was inside, under Raleigh’s control?
My body tenses. But I body-shared with him. I know it is Corin this time.
“What is it?” Corin asks, and his pace slows.
He holds me tighter, more firmly, and I look up, see him twisting his head to look behind us. He turns back a moment later; when his eyes meet mine, they bore into me. Bore into me in a way they haven’t done before—with a burning intensity. Flames that grab me, flames that promise to engulf me, never let me go.
It’s supposed to end in fire.
I flinch. Don’t know where that thought came from.
But there’s something…somewhere, digging away. Only I can’t remember.
“Nothing,” I say.
Corin carries me a long, long way—his pace getting slower and slower, and his breathing heavier, more ragged—and then he sets me down. We’re in the middle of a copse of low trees. There aren’t many leaves on them, but there are some strange-looking large nuts hanging from a couple of the lower branches.
“I’ve been staying here,” Corin says, gestures around. The dog is nose-to-the-ground a few feet away. “On the other side of the trees, there’s an old vehicle. I checked it for a GPS tracker before I dug out the sand under it, made a cave. It holds enough heat there at night. I’ve been sleeping there.”
He sits down next to me, and I can’t help but think how awful he looks. And that makes me feel better—even though I know it is him. No Enhanced would choose to look that bad. Sweat stains have dripped around his collar, under his arms. His hair’s greasy, looks matted at the left side with something dark. Blood.
Corin stares at me. He rubs the back of his neck. “You look different without your hair long.”
My shoulders tighten, and I grimace, don’t know how I’d forgotten and—
And he doesn’t like it. Corin doesn’t like it. I can tell instantly, and a sadness builds in the pit of my stomach, even though I know his opinion shouldn’t make me feel like I do. But I prefer my longer hair too. I wrap my arms around my body as tightly as I can, ignoring the pain across my ribs.
“Did Raleigh make you do that too?” His voice is low.
I nod. Raleigh did it.
Corin looks grim. “Made you cut your hair and made you kill children.” He shakes his head. “And made you make connections to other Untamed.” Then he looks at me sharply. “Are you connected to me?”
And I know it’s the question he wanted to ask earlier, when I was telling him. And the answer makes my body flush with heat.
“It happened…yes,” I say at last. “Not with Raleigh doing it though.”
He inhales sharply, and the look on his face changes, like he hadn’t expected that to really be the answer. Like he was certain I wouldn’t have shared with him. Like he thought he knew me, and that asking the question was just for his own peace of mind.
I watch as he swallows—with some difficulty—then wipes his hand across the back of his mouth, hard, so his lips drain of color for a moment.
“You were one of the first…” I quickly say. “I—I didn’t know what was happening at that time though—it was before I knew what body-sharing was. It just happened—I had no control.”
But the last time you knew exactly what you were doing.
I try not to breathe. Even though my shirt and shorts are nearly dry now, they feel a lot heavier, as if they’re weighing me down, trapping me.
“You were inside my head?” Corin’s tone changes.
I nod. “Your body too.” And I don’t know why I even say the words, why I try to make it worse than it already is.
“You were in my body?”
“I didn’t control you,” I say quickly. “I was just…there. Didn’t even hear your thoughts.”
Except for the ones, earlier. About how awful I look, and how he’s sure something bad happened to me in the city. But I can’t bring myself to say that, and I need to reassure him.
Corin’s eyes narrow. “You can hear thoughts in some people? It’s not just sharing bodies?” A vein in his neck pulses.
Slowly, I nod. “But it’s different each time I do it—even with the same person sometimes. It’s like…sometimes I become the person, but they’re still there. We’re moving together—and communicating, talking. All in our heads. Or their head—I don’t know. Other times, I’m hiding, just witnessing stuff. And everything the person does, I’m aware of it. But it’s like I’m watching, and I know it’s not happening to me. I feel it…but I don’t. It’s hard to explain. And then…a few times I’ve taken control completely, squashed the person.”
“You’ve taken control?” He doesn’t hide the anger in his voice.
“Yes.” I lift my eyes up to meet his. “I saved an Untamed woman who fell through ice. She’d gone into shock, couldn’t swim to the hole in the ice.” Or maybe she was already dead? I think of how her heart felt. And I brought her back to life with my powers? “I took over her body, became her. Got her out the ice. And she survived. She shouldn’t have—not under icy water like that. But she did.”
Corin swears under his breath, looks at me, then looks away. “No privacy around here, is there?”
And I know what he’s feeling—how it’s made him feel. How, every time, he’s going to wonder if I’m in his head. If I’m going to control him, if I’m listening to his thoughts.
Invasion of privacy.
My mouth dries.
I know all about that.
“What’ve you been doing then?” I ask. “Since you escaped? Beside trying to get us out.”
He folds his arms and groans. “But that was all I was trying to do, really. Kept circling back to the compound. Tried to break in. Hunting, gathering food. Got some kindling in, but there’s not exactly a lot of good wood, and I didn’t want to take much of what there is in case a drone noticed.”
“What are the drones like?”
“Noisy. I’m sure you’ll see one for yourself. They come over often enough. Every eight hours or so. And through the night.”
I inhale sharply. They’ll
be looking for me.
Except—except they won’t.
Raleigh will think I’m dead, won’t he? And he’ll know I’m dead because he’s lost his command over my soul. Unless he has got my eyes—no, he can’t have. And I know I’m right about it, I feel it.
Still, I can’t risk being found. Being ‘dead’ is my advantage. My weapon.
“How far out do they go?” I ask Corin. “The drones?”
The terrier comes back over to us and lies down next to me. He’s panting. I frown as I look at him. Not a scratch on him. Not hurt at all.
Corin points far to the left. “They’ve disappeared over that horizon before. Gone right over my head. If they’re supposed to detect us then they’re doing a cracking job, aren’t they?”
“But one caught Esther and Clare.”
The look on Corin’s face changes so quickly it’s as if a switch has been flicked. “What?” His eyes widen. “Esther? She got out too?”
I nod and look down at my hands. “The Zharat organized an escape. Clare shot Raleigh, and she got me out of the room—but I got separated and caught again.” By Three. I try to keep breathing evenly. “But Esther did…she got out, and then…” And then my brother went out to bring her back. “They got her again… And she’s injured. Her hip. Might be broken. I don’t know. Must be horrible for her,” I say. “With the baby. Knowing it’s going to be an Enhanced if it’s born there. And her too—Raleigh said they’ll have augmenters perfected within a couple of days or something…but that was before—might be sooner now. Oh Gods, I’ve lost track of time. But I can’t save all the Untamed, bring us all together, before she’s converted. Before we’ve lost her.”
I breathe out slowly and look up at the sky. So blue. So peaceful.
Something clicks next to me. The kind of click a joint makes.
I turn my head.
Corin stares at me, his eyes wider than ever and his face a strange color. He opens his mouth, then shuts it. His brows knit together a little, and he squints at me. “What did you say?” His words are heavy and clumsy, as if they’re catching on rocks and getting thrown back and forth, crashing from side to side. “A baby?”
I freeze, go completely cold.
“Sev?” He clenches his fists.
I wring my hands together. “Esther’s pregnant, Corin. She—she found out there. At the compound.” Or, at least, I assume she did.
Corin’s nostrils flare, and he jumps up, tension snapping through his body. “Whose is it?” He points at me as if I’ll say the answer on command.
I lean back a little. “Manning’s, I guess.”
Corin swears, then makes a deep growl at the back of his throat. Then he takes a step from me, shakes his head. The light in his eyes makes him look savage.
He looks at the dog. Points at him in the same way he just pointed at me. “Look after Sev, okay? You understand? I’ll be back soon.”
“Corin?” I stare at him as he breaks into a run—a run away from me.
A run back to the compound.
I call after Corin, but it’s no use. Either he’s ignoring me, or he doesn’t hear me. And then he’s gone—disappeared into the pale orange landscape.
I take several deep breaths, and then I try to get up. After a moment, I manage it, and I take a few shaky steps. My legs seem to be okay—I’m just weak. The pain is mainly in and around my torso. I hold my arms up, see the bruising on them and marvel again at the lack of gold marks. They’ve really gone.
A strange sensation fills me. I look at the dog, and the dog looks back at me. He steps closer. I lift a hand to my eyes—ignore my protesting shoulder—and shield my face as a ray of the sun brightens. I try to see the way Corin’s gone—as if by looking hard enough, my eyes will pick out his figure.
But I can’t see him.
He’s gone from sight.
Gone to the compound, to get Esther out.
But he can’t go there! Not on his own—especially after I’ve just escaped. There’s a good chance the compound will be on high alert, even if they think I’m dead—and they should think that. Raleigh must’ve felt my death when he lost my soul. And how’s Corin even going to get Esther out? I doubt she can walk.
I grit my teeth. Then I muster up what little energy I have and follow Corin. The dog whines at me, but he follows, sticks close by. I breathe heavily as I walk, feel sweat break out across the back of my neck. I touch the skin there gently, but when my hand comes away, blood glistens from my fingers. For a moment, I stare at the redness. How much damage did I do when I crashed?
Not just damage. You died. Actually died.
The thought makes me shudder, and I try to think, try to remember that time after my death, but before the cave with the woman, Vala Sarr, before Waskabe… And it comes back, fragments float back: my mother…a connection to her, so strong and I know she felt my death…memories, my family…and a man screaming and another crying… Corin and Raleigh? One screaming, one crying?
And Raleigh knows. Knows I died. Confirmation.
But the whole memory feels different…not like other memories…not like anything I’ve experienced. Just…just different.
And my mother—does she still think I’m dead? Or is our connection enough to tell her I’m alive again?
I gulp as I walk. Two minutes later, my legs give way. I crash onto the earth. My head pounds, and the roof of my mouth tastes strange and furry. I breathe hard, my nostrils flaring, and stare at my splayed out fingers on the sand, at the bits of grit around them.
I’m not going to be able to follow Corin.
He’s going to be on his own.
And if he never makes it back, I won’t even know what happens to him. And I never told him I love him. Still.
The realization pulls through me, makes my chest ache. Corin—who I’ve only just got back. Corin—who I’ve lost again.
The dog pushes his nose against my arm, looks into my eyes. My own eyes water. My dog came back. Corin will too, won’t he?
Except he’ll get caught, a drone will find him. And he’ll be converted. And I won’t even know. Won’t even know when it happens.
Except you can know. You can know exactly what happens to him, if you choose to.
My back clicks.
No.
Not that. Corin made it clear he wasn’t comfortable with me body-sharing with him. Invasion of privacy. Spying.
I stroke the dog slowly. His fur is a little matted on one side. And I stare at the dog, think of Corin. Think of how easy it would be to body-share, to stay hidden. And he wouldn’t even know. Not if I was just there, just an observer. And I know I can do it.
No. I shake my head firmly, as if the action will inscribe the thought in me forever. I can’t do that.
I look at the sky, then around me. I haven’t gone far, but I’m more out in the open now. More exposed. More detectable? I press my lips together as I think of the drones, try to work out what I should do when one comes over. My throat feels raw, and there’s a humming in my head. Three said they used thermal imaging, but Corin wasn’t detected. My eyes narrow as I think. The question of why burns through me. And would I be the same? Esther wasn’t…she was detected, they got her.
I narrow my eyes at the horizon. Corin said the drones come over every eight hours or so. I don’t know when the last one was or when the next is due.
The terrier lies down next to me, leans against me. His body feels warm and solid. I look around, know that I should walk back to the copse, but I can’t. My muscles are screaming, and, now I’m concentrating on my body, I feel all the pain.
As if I could have ever gone after Corin! And to do what? To stop him? Or help him get Esther out?
Esther.
Something whirs in my head, makes me think of a slow-turning wheel. I can help.
I breathe out slowly, then make the transition to Esther’s body quickly, easily. She’s sitting up, and, at first, I don’t realize who she’s with, because he blends into the back
ground so well. But then I see the movement as he turns his head, as the reflection in his eyes changes.
Raleigh’s hand touches Esther’s thigh—her good one—and she pulls her leg away sharply—or maybe I do it for her. Pain ricochets through to her bad hip, but the pain is lesser now. Not broken then?
“Stop it,” she whispers, but her voice hitches, and then I feel the dampness on her face. Tears. Her body shudders, and she wraps her arms around her good leg as she brings that knee up to her chest.
“I am deeply sorry for your loss,” Raleigh says, his voice like liquid chocolate. Too sticky, too sweet. “Death is such a sad thing, a terrible thing for Untamed creatures to experience. But it’s not for the Chosen Ones, and you have to concentrate on that.”
I go cold, feel what little warmth there is in the world freeze over, and I want to run, to hide, to never be found again. Get as far away as possible.
Someone’s died.
Three.
It’s Three. He’s dead. Raleigh killed him, because I told him that Three was on our side and—and I was wrong and—
Oh Gods. Death wanted someone close to me.
My head pounds, everything’s spinning across it too fast. Raleigh must know that Esther and my brother were close, and now he’s telling her…and Three’s dead.
My brother’s dead. Because of me, because of what I said, what I told him, how Three was helping me and—
But he wasn’t! He was on Raleigh’s side—completely converted. Didn’t help me. Three knew that ‘Corin’ wasn’t really Corin, that he was Raleigh…and he was desperate to get me to see him, so Raleigh could use my powers. Something close to hatred burns in me, but it can’t be hatred because he’s my brother…no, was my brother.
And he’s dead.
Raleigh smiles and looks at Esther—looks at me. And, for a moment, he stares right at me inside her. At me. As if he can see me.
My breathing gets faster—Esther’s gets faster.
“She’s dead?” she whispers, and her voice catches. “Seven’s dead?”
Every part of me jolts.
Me? Talking about me? Not Three. And I don’t even know whether to feel relief.
My head pounds, and then I’m reaching for her.
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