Divided

by Madeline Dyer

  But how long do I wait? I can’t stay here. I’m too close to the compound, and I need to go—find somewhere safe.

  But Corin waited in the area for me. And he didn’t know I was still alive or Untamed. Or that I’d ever escape.

  I’ve got to wait. I know that. And Esther—if she gets out, it’s better if I’m nearby, not hundreds of miles away. Even if her hip’s not broken, she’s still injured.

  “Just hurry up,” I mutter, gripping my hands together. My fingers click as I scrunch them up.

  After a moment, I try to busy myself, clearing fallen leaves, arranging them in patterns. Then I scan every part of the land I can see. I even look at the old vehicle, work out how to get the seized-up door open and go through the contents in the glove compartment: an old, stained map; a compass with a broken screen, but, as far as I can tell, a working needle; two pamphlets written in a different language, and a packet of wipes. I pocket the compass, take out a wipe and clean a cut on my arm—though the wipe itself smells odd—then look at the map, spreading it out on the sandy floor.

  I’ve never been great at reading maps, and this one’s old, stained, and faded. I squint, barely able to see the marks on it, and, as much as I try, I can’t match up anything on the map to anything here. The map shows lots of trees and forests and there are many contour lines close together. But there are no heavily wooded areas around here that I know of, let alone steep wooded ones. And maps aren’t reliable anyway, not when the spirits can change the land. I wonder if Raleigh’s world map somehow updates automatically or whether it’s not that accurate anymore. Or never was?

  Frustrated, I fold up the map and put it back. My wrist twinges with pain, and my stomach rumbles, but there’s no food here. There’s a small wooden branch not far away and a small chunk of gray stone. It looks like Corin’s been crudely sharping the end of it—or at least someone has. To make a weapon? Or a hunting spear?

  I pick up the stone and the stick—it’s not that thick, and there’s a twist of a knot halfway through that weakens the strength—but I sit down, continue the work that Corin must’ve started.

  The sky gets darker, and the world gets colder. I give up on the stick and put it to one side, bring my hands up to my face, breathe on my fingers for warmth. I touch my Seer pendant for a moment.

  Corin’s still not back.

  Because he got to the compound? Because he got caught?

  I lean back, then open my mind, connect with Esther and—

  I find her door…but I can’t open it. Not this time. Can’t get the connection.

  I curse, open my eyes, look around me again. Images of her being force-fed augmenters and converted fill my head, and I blench. Three lied—even to her? Trapped her in the cupboard, so she could be caught? Like he did with me in the corridor? Or—or it wasn’t Three’s fault, but she still got caught?

  My stomach roils. Esther—my friend.

  Gone?

  And I can’t ask her if Corin’s been caught…because she’s been converted now?

  And I can’t get a connection to an Enhanced One.

  Oh Gods.

  Oh Gods.

  Oh Gods.

  Esther.

  Nausea rises, and I slap a hand to my mouth.

  But it doesn’t have to mean that, I tell myself. It doesn’t. Maybe…maybe I can’t body-share with everyone all the time. Maybe she’s busy…with Three? I swallow hard, feel even sicker. I wouldn’t want to witness that. Maybe it’s just my mind protecting itself…or I’m too worn out to use the power? No, I got to the door—found the connection just couldn’t complete it. It felt like the door was locked.

  The jittery feelings I’ve been trying to suppress rise in me, like an army of winged creatures, each one flapping against the other. I breathe deeply, press my lips together. I think of Corin. If I can’t connect to Esther, I could try and connect to him.

  But it’s a violation of his privacy. He made that clear.

  I look at the darkening sky—can barely see it against the trees now. I take another deep breath, then I nod. I have to try. And I curse myself. I should’ve done it earlier.

  I lie back down, try to tell myself I’m calm even though I’m far from it, and I open my mind. Find my Seer powers, feel the familiar energy of them. The pulse and ebb of the flow. I picture Corin, really see him: the recent hard edges of his face that make him look a lot older than twenty, the warm darkness in his eyes that tingles through to my core, the scars and imperfections of his skin.

  And nothing happens.

  I breathe deeper, feel panic rising. I’m trying too hard. Or maybe I really am worn out?

  Connect with him.

  I try again. I think of everything I love about him—the way a vein pulses in his jaw when he’s thinking hard, how his arms feel around me, the intonation of his voice when he’s concerned. I picture him again, see him walking through the desert. His stride is big and powerful, and he pumps his arms ever so slightly as he walks. The dog will be with him, walking close by his feet, but keeping a slight distance. They’ll be coming back and—

  I find his door. It opens easily.

  I slip into him. A fizzle of energy, a snap of white light, and I’m jolted forward, and—

  He’s walking, breathing hard.

  I try to be as silent as possible, passive. An observer.

  The sky is dark, and the land is dark. A jolt runs through me, and Corin reacts, looks behind him, eyes searching. Darkness. A boulder. Where’s the dog? I want to keep looking, but he stops—looks up at the sky, then down. Not left to right.

  But I could make him look from side to side.

  No.

  He turns slowly, and I hold my breath, still looking. His breathing is ragged, heavy. I can feel sweat on his forehead—feels like it’s on me. After a second, he lifts an arm, wipes it off quickly. His sleeve is tickly against his skin, my skin. He flexes his fingers—they’re cold, like ice, and I feel the joints crack as they move.

  “Shit.”

  His voice. Corin’s voice. I feel his lips buzz as if they’re my own, and I feel my own power. Know that I could take control of him so easily, squash his presence, take his body, just as I took Viktoriya’s—even when I didn’t mean to.

  But it would be easy to flatten Corin too. Take control of him.

  The realization fills me with something. A sense of power. I’m not sure I like it. But all the same, it’s there, and I recognize it. And I don’t push it away. I don’t know why. But I don’t. Because everyone’s programmed to like power. Even when they think they don’t. Even when they think they can resist it. There’s still a part of them that believes they can control everything better than someone else can. And I’m no different. That part is there, deep down.

  And that’s why I stay hidden. I know what it was like to have someone controlling me. And, for a moment, I see Raleigh, wrapped up in his desire for power, to control. It’s like a disease. He let it take him.

  I will not let it take me.

  I will remain hidden in Corin. I’m just checking on him, seeing where he is. Seeing what’s happening. An update, that’s all I’m getting.

  Corin looks straight ahead again, and I recognize the landscape—two angular rocks, rising up in the darkness. Corin and I passed them before, when he was carrying me.

  Relief pours through me.

  He’ll be back soon. Unharmed.

  I break the connection with Corin, return to my own body. The transition is the smoothest it’s ever been, and I look around, smile. It’s dark, but I can feel it now. Corin is close. Close and safe.

  And that’s all that matters.

  Is it?

  Corin and the terrier return an hour later. Corin hugs me briefly, then sits down. It’s dark, but a sliver of moon hangs in the sky, and I can just about see enough. Corin sits with his head in his hands for several moments, then he looks up at me.

  I can’t see his face too well, but my mind fills in the detail. I see the ragged look
in his eyes, the dark shadows under them, and the way he’s tensing his jaw.

  “I couldn’t get her out,” he whispers. “I couldn’t even get in the conversion unit’s grounds. It was the same as before. Too many Enhanced.”

  I lean forward. “You went back to the compound, right back?”

  He gives me a look. “My pregnant sister is still there.”

  The words hang in the air, make what I need to say harder. I grit my teeth for a long moment. My stomach rumbles, and I can’t remember when I last ate. But there’s no food here.

  “Corin, we need to go.” I hate saying the words. But it’s too risky staying here, where there are drones, when either of us could’ve been detected. And there’s no point in staying. Not when Esther could have been converted… When she has been. I felt the door, it wouldn’t open.

  “No,” he says. “You’re not going back there. Just me. You’re injured. I’ll try again tomorrow to get her out.”

  I reach for his hand. It’s cold. I cover his hand with mine, then draw his arm closer to me. Pain flushes through me. “No, I mean we have to leave here. Now. We need to get as far away from here as we can. A drone went over here earlier. It could’ve detected me. And we need to be somewhere they don’t use drones—places where there are a lot of spirits. Somewhere safe.”

  A place where Rahn could be.

  I try to keep breathing evenly.

  Corin lifts his head slowly. His eyes bore into mine, but there’s a fierceness in them. “I’m not leaving Esther there.” He shakes his head. “How can you even say that?”

  “She might not ever get out of there. Not with her hip,” I whisper. Darkness swarms my gut. “And…and she could be Enhanced soon.”

  I can’t bring myself to say the actual words, that she’s most likely Enhanced already—she has to be. That’s why I couldn’t body-share with her. But I can’t tell Corin that. It would destroy him.

  “So you think I should just give up on her?” His voice is dark, and something flashes in his eyes. Anger. He stands up, points at me. “You should’ve got her out when you escaped. It’s your fault she’s still in there. If you’d just done that—looked out for her, she’s your friend too—then we could be far away now, the three of us. But instead, she’s in there, trapped. And it’s your fault. You left her. And now you’re giving up on her.”

  I stare at him, feel the muscles in my face slacken. “Corin, that’s not fair.”

  “No, I’ll tell you what isn’t fair,” he yells. “It isn’t bloody fair that all you care about is yourself and saving yourself.”

  “Stop it! It’s not like that.” I stand up, refuse to wince at the pain. I point at Corin, and my finger shakes. “If I’d looked for Esther, I wouldn’t have escaped at all. I’d still be there—”

  “Yeah, and at least you’d be together!” Corin shouts. “She’s on her own now, scared, hurt and—”

  “She’s not on her own—I’ve been body-sharing with her.” Except I can’t now. My stomach twists. “I’ve been talking to her, Corin, and—”

  He stops short, then he lifts a hand up slowly, points at me. “You’ve been taking over my sister’s body? Invading her?”

  “It’s not like that.” I hold my hands up, grit my teeth for a moment. “It’s just talking. I wouldn’t control her—not like what Raleigh did with me.”

  Except I made her punch Raleigh.

  “But body-sharing isn’t natural.” Corin shakes his head, then spits at the ground. “It’s wrong. Seers are all wrong. Freaks.”

  I feel my face drain. Feel every part of me shrivel, crumple.

  “No, you should be relying on proper human stuff, Sev. You know, stuff that’s normal. And you shouldn’t have left without her. You should’ve stuck together.”

  “You left without us!” I yell. “And it’s the right thing to do—we can only get out individually, you know that!” I grit my teeth, then throw my hands in the air. “If I hadn’t left, I’d still be under Raleigh’s control. He’d still have my soul, be able to control me—and he’d have made me forge more body-sharing connections, and he’d be making me use them. I told you his plans, didn’t I?” I feel my face heat up, until it’s burning. The dog barks. “He’d make me connect with everyone and then convert me when I was body-sharing with everyone—including you. The Untamed would be wiped out in the blink of an eye. And you want that to happen, because you want me to be back there still? Is that what you want?”

  Corin steps closer. His body shakes with emotion. “I wanted you to try. To try and get my sister out, to save her. She’s all I’ve got.”

  His words get to me. She’s all I’ve got. He doesn’t count me.

  My breaths are noisy. “I did try!” I yell back.

  “No, you didn’t,” he snaps. “As soon as you got free from Raleigh you ran. You didn’t try and find my sister. You didn’t try and save her.”

  I grit my teeth, exasperated. “I couldn’t. Are you not listening? Her hip’s—”

  “Of course I’m bloody listening! And that’s how I know it’s your fault. And because of you, I’ve got to put myself in danger tomorrow too, trying to do what you should’ve done. Untamed are supposed to look out for each other. Work together. But you don’t know the meaning of that, do you, Sev? No, it’s all about you. You getting out of there. You going somewhere safe where there are no drones.”

  My temper rises; heat floods my hands, and I clench them tightly. “I’m the key to the Untamed. I’m important—I can’t pretend I’m not! I’ve got to protect myself if I’m going to protect all of you.”

  “Don’t let your importance get to your head, will you?” he mutters, darkly.

  I shake my head, exhale hard. “You’re not going to get Esther out. You know that. And she’s—” I bite my words, refuse to tell him I couldn’t connect—and what that probably means. “We’ve got to trust that she can get herself out. Or Three or one of the Zharat will help,” I say, but I know it’s a lie. “We have to trust them. We can’t save her ourselves. As soon as she’s out, I’ll tell her where we are. But you can’t go back, Corin. You’ll get yourself caught too. And converted. And they’ll find out from you that I’m still alive and come after me. If I’m still here, their drones will find me. I can’t rely on Jed all the time. Not when he disappeared without even warning me—and he’s only going to get more unstable.”

  Corin’s body jolts. He stares at me. “Jed?” His eyes narrow, then he looks from side to side. “You told me Raleigh killed him.”

  Oh Gods.

  I swallow hard and straighten my dark green shirt. It doesn’t feel as fitted now. “He didn’t make it to the New World. He’s still here… They become the spirits, the ones who don’t make it. The Lost Souls.”

  For a moment, Corin’s quiet. “Spirits,” he mutters. “Well, isn’t this bloody brilliant?” He turns away from me. “That man is still here. Let me guess. You’ve been meeting up? Having secret liaisons? Or maybe it’s not been secret at all? What’s been going on then, Sev? Back at the compound, was Jed with you in your cell all the time? You been getting it on with him? With a bloody ghost—because that’s what he is. A glorified, physical ghost. Bet you’ve been loving it.”

  My eyes narrow as I glare at him. “How dare you.”

  “How dare I?” He shakes his head, a dark smile on his face. “You know what, Sev? You’re welcome to Jed. I don’t care. You go and pair off with him, travel to some safe land together. I’ll get my sister out. I don’t need you anyway.”

  Something pulses inside me. “Fine,” I say, and I put as much force into the word as I can. “I’ll leave now. Bye, Corin.”

  I call the dog to me, and I walk away, through the darkness, the terrier at my heel.

  Anger boils inside me. I roll my sleeves up, ignore the pain. It’s not my fault I couldn’t get Esther out. And how dare Corin say that stuff about me and Jed. How dare he.

  I kick up the sand, feel it stick against my ankles and lower legs. So
unds crackle around me. The sound of the night. I don’t even look back. Why would I even want to see Corin now? I don’t need him. I don’t need him or Jed.

  “It’s just me and you,” I say to the dog. He whines a little, and, in the moonlight, I see the way his eyes look uncertain. He turns his head, looks behind us. “We’re not going back.” I snort. When I said goodbye to Corin, I meant it.

  My chest tightens, and I ignore it, furiously blink the hot tears from my eyes. I sniff loudly, then dig out the compass with the broken screen from my pocket. There’s just enough moonlight to see the needle and markings—the ones that aren’t obscured by the two-inch crack across the plastic.

  I take a deep breath and try to clear my head. Raleigh showed me a map. I try to put the information together, work out which way I need to go. I’m not entirely sure, but I believe a southwest direction will take me back toward the Noir Lands.

  I pray that I’m right. As soon as I’ve walked farther, and I’m out of the drone-scanning area, I’ll stop and use my Seer powers, find the Zharat who are still out there, join back up with them. Being part of the Zharat again doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence, but it’s a start. And they know how to survive. They’ll have weapons—or will have made new ones. I breathe deeply. Yes, it’s a start. And they’ll have to accept who I am—that I’m a powerful Seer. The powerful Seer. And then we can find the others. The others nearby and in the other sections.

  Unite the Untamed.

  I’ll bring everyone together, just like Taras and Jed said.

  But what about Corin?

  No. I refuse to think of him. The corners of my eyes start to burn again. I curse loudly.

  I walk faster and faster, check the dog’s still with me every twenty seconds or so. When I’ve walked a long, long way, and my body’s aching, and my ribs are protesting, I lessen my speed a little. The night’s still dark, and I’ve no idea what time it is now. It’s cold, but my body’s numbing itself to the air now.