Waking to Black

by V. H. Luis

  “If it’s such a concern, I don’t have to attend,” Adam says with a hint of arrogance.

  “You’re the biggest contributor. You have to attend.” Adam’s father shakes his head as he reaches for his glass. He’s drinking some type of liquor, judging by the coloring, probably whiskey.

  “I wasn’t going to ignore the fact that Markus tried to rape my sister.”

  I wince at Adam’s choice of words and notice that Sarah’s eyes are vacant and sad. She’s listening to these men bicker over her and with each passing minute she falls deeper into dejection. I suddenly remember the birthday gift I purchased for her.

  “Sarah?” My voice is cheerful under the circumstances.

  She tilts her head to the side as she regards me.

  “I have a gift for you.” I reach into my purse and retrieve a small envelope. “It’s nothing huge, but I thought you might appreciate the experience.”

  Sarah grabs the envelope mutely and opens it. Inside is a voucher for a month-long workshop with Camden Ross, a local artist.

  She smiles at me. “An art class so I can be something more than an art enthusiast?”

  “Well, you did mention it was something you were interested in doing. I signed up for the workshop as well. It’s on Wednesdays and will give us the opportunity to get to know each other better.”

  Sarah leans over to give me a hug. As I wrap my arms around her, she trembles. When she pulls back a small shy smile covers her face.

  “Sorry. I’m still a bit jumpy. I love the gift.”

  Mrs. Black enters the room, her face agitated. “I wouldn’t be surprised if a picture of you beating Markus to a bloody pulp shows up in tomorrow’s paper.”

  “That’s it, I’m leaving. This conversation is pointless. We can’t change what happened, I’ve already called my lawyer and made him aware of the situation.” For the first time in the last thirty minutes Adam looks at Sarah and me, and though he attempts to hide his concern, worry is etched on the features of his handsome face. “Sarah is unwilling to file a police report, so there’s nothing else we can do at the moment.”

  In that instance, I realize that while Adam is often reserved, among his family he is considerate and protective. I mean, his parents and brother are placing emphasis on the scandal created by tonight’s events, the bad publicity, while Adam acted in order to protect his sister.

  We quickly say our goodbyes and head out. Adam has avoided speaking to me. He holds me by the hand, his grip firm. I’m not sure if his disposition is reflecting his agitation with his family or if somehow he’s upset with me.

  “Are you okay?” I step into the limo as he opens the door for me.

  “I’m the one who should be asking that question.”

  While the response is sweet and considerate, his tone doesn’t match the statement. He stares at me, his gaze worried and yet something else lingers in his expression—something I don’t like.

  “You’re upset at me,” I say, voicing my sudden realization.

  He shakes his head. “I don’t want to have this conversation here. Making sure you’re okay, is my priority at the moment.”

  I should heed the warning blatantly demonstrated by his stiff posture, but I don’t. “I’m fine,” I say stubbornly, “Tell me what’s wrong with you.”

  He raises the divider, ensuring our privacy and then turns to face me.

  “You hesitated… When Sarah asked you to keep something from me, you considered her stupid request. I can’t even trust you to be honest about something this serious.”

  Though I forced the admission, it still hurts to hear him question my ability to be honest.

  “I… I had every intention of telling you. Sarah cornered me, and then you showed up and I didn’t know what to say.”

  “It’s easy; you tell the truth.”

  “And I did.”

  “Only because I stepped into the room and forced you to.”

  “I would have done it anyway.”

  He nods, though I get the impression he’s not actually agreeing with me.

  “Damn it, give me a break!” I cover my face. “When you picked me up today you accosted me with my past, then we came to this party and I got blindsided with your jealousy. I finally think we’ll have a moment of peace and your sister’s boyfriend decides to screw up the night by being a complete prick. Not only does he try to force himself on Sarah, but he makes a move on me, too! And I’m still currently not wearing any panties!” I shift in my seat and tug on the dress, tucking it underneath my thighs.

  Both of Adam’s hands run through his hair and settle on the nape on his neck. “You’re an impossible woman.”

  I laugh outright. “I’m impossible? You’re the one who has me on a rollercoaster. One moment you’re angry at me and the next you’re not.”

  “I want to drive you crazy because that’s precisely what you do to me. You completely ignore everything I tell you and then you do something adorable like tuck your dress under your thighs. A futile action, since I’ve already seen what’s underneath and all I want to do is turn you over and fuck you again.”

  The curt, primitive declaration makes me gasp. “You are unbelievably rude. Most people have a filter, but if you have one you disregard it at every opportunity. I mean, how you can talk to people like this and still get your way is baffling.”

  “I rarely talk to anyone like this because I’m rarely defied.”

  I stare at him with narrowed eyes, and though I hate it, I can’t deny the desire stirring inside of me—I want him. The top button of his shirt is open allowing me a glimpse of the tense muscles of his neck. Though I fight the impulse, my breaths become shallow.

  “Thank you, for interfering and helping Sarah,” he says gruffly.

  “Those are the right words, but not the right intonation.” I cross my arms over my chest.

  “What do you expect, for me to sound happy?” he growls. “I hate that he touched you. Sarah was stupid enough to get involved with him even after I told her to stay away, but you…”

  “I slapped him. I know how to defend myself.”

  He laughs. “I’m familiar with your slaps. They don’t exactly deter me. I doubt they’re effective on anyone.”

  “Are you upset because I didn’t do a good job fighting him off or because he had the opportunity to touch me?”

  “I’m upset I wasn’t there to kick his ass from the start,” he grounds out, in a near roar. Closing his eyes, he takes a few drawn-out seconds to collect himself. When again he speaks, his voice is husky but calm.

  “I’m upset you feel the need to lie to me even though I’ve told you I can’t be with a person who lies…I understand the omissions you’ve made about your past. Hell, considering how I feel about my own past, I can accept you being unwilling to talk about it—even though I think that’s a mistake. But I will not accept being with someone who isn’t honest with me.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be dishonest. Sarah said you would freak out. I didn’t want to ruin the party. I thought that if I waited and told you after, things would be better for everyone.”

  “I’m tired of saying it, but since you are obviously having trouble understanding, I’ll reiterate. Don’t keep things from me.”

  “Right back at you!” I lean back on the seat and eye him, my arms still crossed. “You want complete honesty, then lead by example and explain why you neglected to tell me you have a brother.”

  “What?” he utters with exasperation.

  “I think it’s odd you’ve never mentioned your brother.”

  “Mathew is an opportunist,” he says, leaning forward the muscles of his neck taut. “He’s only interested in his own agenda and that agenda often involves trampling the people around him—and if you haven’t figured it out yet, that’s not something I condone. Biologically I have a brother, but I assure you no love is lost between the two of us.”

  “Why is he like that?” I say, my pose softening because I’m concerned over the c
hange in his appearance. I want to reach out and comfort him, though before I can, he again says something to exacerbate the situation.

  “I don’t want to talk about it. This topic is closed.”

  “That’s so unfair. You have all the power between us.”

  His eyes focus on my body, shifting to the cleavage exhibited by my scooped neckline. With a simple glance he can make me long for his touch.

  “That’s not true. If I did have all the power, I wouldn’t be as frustrated as I am now.”

  “I don’t want you to be frustrated,” I murmur softly. “The last thing I want to do, is fight with you.”

  Adam nods slowly. Again his eyes dance across my form, focusing on my curves. His lips press together, the action making the hard edge of his jawline more pronounced and the image of tracing that well-defined line with my tongue, flashes in my head. My mouth parts, my heart begins to race and the air circulating in the back of the limo, heats. It’s quiet for a few tense seconds, until the deep grate of Adam’s voice shatters the silence.

  “Take your dress off.”

  I blink a few times, surprised by the demand. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.”

  “And if I defy you again and don’t?” I say, taunting him more because I can, than my desire to rebel.

  His chuckle is filled with confidence. “You won’t, not this time. You’re rubbing your legs together, breathing heavily, and your cheeks are flushed. Your mind may be urging you to resist, but your body will win the argument.” He shifts in his seat and undoes the buttons of his vest, a cocky grin on his lips.

  “What makes you so damn sure?” I say.

  He tilts his head as he gives me a sideways glance. “I’m very familiar with the feeling.” He shrugs and the vest falls onto the seat. “Now take off the dress before I tear it off.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.” Again I utter the statement with the sole intent of provoking him, because if I’m honest, I find the idea of Adam tearing my dress from my trembling body, exciting.

  His fingers begin working on the buttons of his white dress shirt and I get a glimpse of the hair scattered across his chest.

  “Your faith in my self-control is astounding, considering around you I don’t exhibit any.” He looks amused, and the sight of his exposed chest crumbles my defenses. I pull the dress over my head and quickly unsnap my bra, then kick off my suede Jimmy Choo pumps.

  “Now that you have me like this, what are you going to do?”

  “You’re the one who’s going to do something.”

  His hand reaches for mine and in seconds I’m straddling him.

  “You’re tired of being on a rollercoaster, right? Here’s your chance to take control.”

  There’s an irresistible dare. He’s giving me free reign? I can do anything I want? I’m like a kid in a candy store. My hands plunge into his pants and the feel of him, hard and ready, makes me lick my lips. I wait for him to take the invitation, for his lips to brush against mine, but to my surprise he sits motionless, a small grin on his face as my fingers wrap around his hard length.

  I kiss him because I can’t resist the urge, and though he responds, the raw intensity I’ve grown accustomed to is absent. I open the top button of his pants and pull on the zipper. All the while those deep blue eyes are pinned on me, and the force of his gaze makes me self-conscious.

  “Why are you doing this?” My voice is small.

  “I’m not doing anything.” A small smile dances across his lips.

  My eyes narrow at him as resolve rolls over me. “Move up so I can pull your briefs down.”

  Adam tilts his pelvis up, his eyes impassive. I pull on the boxer briefs and gasp when he springs free.

  “What’s next?” I hate how he manages to sound so reserved when I’m naked on top of him. Determined to elicit a response, I rub myself against the tip of his erection and finally his body betrays him, his muscles tensing at the contact. I dig my knees into the leather seat and bite my bottom lip as I move down on him. My body is wet and I want him, but the lack of foreplay makes the action hurt and I cry out.

  Adam moves forward so the tips of my breasts graze his skin. “You’re being impatient, letting your frustration dominate. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

  “Only because you’re purposely staying indifferent to my touch.” I don’t want to show him the hurt in my eyes, though I suspect my attempt at concealing the pain is pointless. He can usually see through the bullshit.

  His hands circle my waist, holding me in place as his lips brush against my neck. He whispers against my skin, “I could never be indifferent to your touch. Though you’re right, I am holding back, but only because you asked me to. You wanted control and I’ve given it to you.”

  I frown. This is not what I wanted.

  Adam moves his face against mine. “The truth is, you don’t want control; you want to feel as if you have it, but more than anything you want to give in.”

  His grip tightens on my waist and he pushes me against his stiff shaft. I cry out at the contact and my body trembles.

  He’s right. The notion of dominating instead of being dominated is alluring, but it’s a hollow fantasy, because more than anything I want Adam to force my body into submission, to lay claim to every inch, every curve. The flesh between my legs is swollen for him, aching for his touch, for his measured thrusts. My mind is urging me to exhibit a modicum of self-control, but my body knows Adam can stir sensations in me that are too tantalizing to resist.

  “You did this on purpose,” I say sullenly.

  “I did it to prove a point.” He moves his thumb along my lips and then thrusts it inside my mouth.

  I suck on it, my lips running over the ridges. Adam licks his lips as he watches, and after a few seconds he pulls his finger out of my mouth and shifts my body so he dislodges from my eager sex. He presses his wet thumb inside the folds of my swollen flesh, circling against my clitoris, and forcing me to respond to his skilled touch.

  “Adam, please…I need you,” I sputter between breathy moans, and though I hate begging him to take me, to fuck me, part of me revels in the debasement.

  “Let’s get you nice and wet first.” His voice is tender yet authoritative.

  This man knows my body better than I do. After the initial frustration of being denied, the feel of his hand cupping me, stroking me, makes my muscles tight with anticipation. I close my eyes, about to let go, when his free hand grabs my chin with a stern force.

  “Look at me when you come,” he orders as he thrusts another finger inside me.

  I’m lost to him. I come around his hand, my eyes fixed on his pleasure-filled gaze. He gave me this, and he knows my body is his, that he’s the only man who’s possessed me.

  Adam cups my buttocks and positions me so I slide down his length. Slick with my release, the sensation is pure pleasure. Our bodies form a rhythm and soon the wet noise of our union, mixed with the gasps and groans emanating from our lips, echo through the backseat of the limo. My nails dig against his chest as he brings me to the peak of another orgasm, and the feel of him letting go and filling me with his release, dominating me like no other man ever has, is perfection.

  I sway against him, exhausted by the experience. My eyes yearn to close, but I fight the urge because I need to say something. “I’m yours and my body submits to your touch, but only because I willingly give myself to you.”

  The smile on his face is affectionate. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  I lay my head against his chest and let the exhaustion consume me.

  I’M awoken by Adam’s hand brushing through my hair. My eyes flutter open and I look out the window. We’ve pulled up to Eden Beach. I’m still naked, and Adam is still inside me. He shifts my body, slipping out, and I wince.

  He frowns. “Did I hurt you?”

  “I hurt myself.”

  Adam shakes his head and kisses my cheek. “You’re too stubborn for your own good.” He reaches for
my dress. “Put your arms up.”

  I groggily follow the command and with care he slips the fabric over my head. Adam buttons his shirt and fixes his collar, though he doesn’t bother to put on the vest.

  I put on my suede pumps and as we exit the car I lean against Adam for support. It doesn’t matter that I’m not wearing my bra because with Adam inhibitions are unnecessary burdens.

  When we reach the apartment we both begin to clean up. As we brush our teeth he turns the shower on and starts to strip. I stare because he’s fucking gorgeous.

  “Enjoying the show?” Adam has a smug grin on his face.

  I nod. “I’m thinking about all the wicked things I’m going to do to you.”

  His chuckle makes the hair on my arms stand on end. Ready to make good on my promise I’m slipping off my dress when the loud ringing of his phone startles me.

  Adam shakes his head with mild annoyance and grabs the phone. “Hold that thought.” He turns to leave the bathroom, but not before he playfully slaps my ass. Startled, I turn to face him and he has the most devious smirk on his face. He winks at me once before he retreats to the bedroom.

  I jump into the shower with a goofy grin, and the warm water feels amazing against my skin. Two weeks ago I was a walking ghost, a girl living in a black-and-white world, and now every moment with Adam comes on the waves of emotions I never thought I could experience again. Life is filled with colors, and although I’m happy, my heart unexpectedly begins to thunder.

  Maybe it’s because my day has been wrought with emotionally draining events, but something in me suddenly snaps. As I stand underneath the shower, the floodgate within me bursts and I’m unable to handle the pressure of this strenuous day. The panic attack cripples me, and before I can brace myself, I’m on the floor, the water striking me like rocks as I lay against the wet marble struggling for air.

  Adam’s appears in front of me and the tears I’ve been holding onto all night flow down my cheeks like a waterfall. I’m embarrassed, but more than anything I’m relieved to see him there.