“No, Rachel. You don’t need to light anyone on fire. I was questioned briskly, not interrogated. I’m fine. They were gentle, as I wisely didn’t put up a fight. I’d guessed something would happen when you got carted to the clinic by a pair of royals. I became interesting to them by default, due to my relationship with you.”
“There’s a difference between a brisk questioning and an interrogation?”
“Sure. It was brisk. I told them they could pick a fight with His Royal Majesty of Montana if they didn’t like me doing my liaison work here in California. I have to give the one credit; he decided to pick a fight with His Royal Majesty of Montana.”
I could make a guess which RPS agent might do that. “Did Vince survive?”
“I like how you automatically assumed the head of my detail would be the one willing to pick a fight with His Royal Majesty of Montana,” Ethan admitted.
“It seemed obvious to me. He doesn’t seem afraid of anyone or anything.”
“While you’re generally right, I find it concerning you’ve made a character judgment in such a short period of time. You only met him this morning.”
I regarded California’s heir with a raised brow. “It’s necessary for me at this point in time.”
Ethan sighed, picked the chair nearest to me, and plopped onto it with a heavy sigh. “I can’t believe you, the most reclusive princess from New York, aced California’s entrance exam. You just put every other royal in the Royal States, possibly around the world, to bloody shame in the education department, and you did so expecting to use your intellect to hide. In California. Right under my nose, because you’re a New Yorker.”
I turned my head so I wouldn’t have to look at him. “How long have you known?”
“I figured out who you were when one of Montana’s traveling agents slipped you into the wedding in Illinois. Now, granted, I did a double take when I saw you without makeup, but it didn’t take me long to figure out who you were. For the record, I prefer you without the makeup.”
Ethan preferred me without the makeup? My carefully-constructed bottle threatened to break, and only my determination to keep from sobbing in front of an audience kept my chin up and my eyes dry.
My throat ached, the first warning I toed a dangerous line.
Terry sighed and sat on the table, opened the nearby cage and retrieved Snookums and Flamingo, placing them on my shoulder. The ritual of showering the rats with affection helped some.
Either Ethan hadn’t noticed I waged a silent war against my emotions or he chose to ignore them, but he said, “I put an alert in the California immigration system using the picture from the wedding with any notifications to be sent to me directly. I was pinged when you took the test, verified it was you, and bided my time.”
What? Had Ethan joined me in generalized insanity? I blinked. “You what?”
“Bided my time.”
My one true ally in the room played the refusing to meet gazes with me game as well as I did, and I drummed my fingers on the table. “Terry,” I complained, stroking my rats as a way to keep grounded and get me through the conversation without embarrassing myself.
“I warned you,” he replied, still refusing to look at me.
“You warned me he was a lusty prince with an intellect fetish!” Oops. My face burned, and I bowed my head with a gusty sigh. “And this is all of the evidence I need to prove I’m a walking disaster.”
“If your physical state is anything like your mental and emotional state, you’re not going to be walking anywhere for a few weeks,” the woman armed with a briefcase announced. “I’m Dr. Stanton from North Dakota, and I flew in on behalf of both Montana and California.”
“Thanks, Terry,” I muttered.
“For the record, I beat the Californians by an entire twelve hours, and unlike them, I wisely asked for discretion. I also suggested Dr. Stanton wait until morning to invade, as I doubted you’d be able to handle too many extra surprises. But then His Royal Highness decided to become involved, which complicated things. It also gave Dr. Stanton a chance to make certain matters in North Dakota were stable before coming here. She brought her children, who are surfing with some off-duty RPS agents right now.”
Lucky kids. “Think I can learn to surf, Terry?”
“That depends. Do you know how to swim?”
“Not precisely.”
“You can’t learn to surf until you learn to swim. Dr. Stanton?”
“It entertained me having to pretend I wasn’t already aware of the situation,” the doctor stated. “But I’m concerned there doesn’t seem to have been any exaggeration on the state of your health. Swimming is a good physical therapy option, so I see no reason why you can’t learn how to swim so you can learn how to surf once you’re in better physical condition.”
Fuck it. I only had one answer to give, and I’d give it without shame. “It’s not my fault.”
“It’s not,” Dr. Stanton conceded. “Mental illness is never the fault of the victim, and upon review of your living situation, I’m in agreement that your choices for self-preservation were wise. It’s no fault of yours, beyond your general reluctance to use funds you had available. That said, your reasons for avoiding those funds are not flawed. It was a no-win situation for you. My job is to resolve your physical health problems. I’ll make recommendations for a therapist who can handle your case once we’ve had a chance to isolate what you need to be treated for.”
“Familial abuse,” Terry announced. “There are other issues, but those are private, and it’s not my place to mention them. But the familial abuse needs to be addressed, especially considering New York’s current stance.”
Dr. Stanton grunted. “Well, that is a given. She’s a New York royal. Prince Ian’s been undergoing therapy for similar, although his case is not nearly as severe.”
My brother was undergoing therapy? I stared at the doctor, my mouth dropping open.
“I see news that your brother is undergoing therapy is a shock to you.”
“He tried to drown me numerous times for stealing his beef jerky. I need therapy for that alone.”
“Well, that would certainly color your opinion of him. As I would rather there be no misunderstandings, you are aware of the current situation, correct?”
“There’s a ten million dollar bounty on my head from New York because they don’t think I’m just going to waltz back to New York and be shoved into a ball gown, put on display, and pranced around as the heir so the citizens settle down while my parents continue to rule as always. Yeah. I’m aware. Then I’ll be sold off to the highest bidder with the traits they want in a monarch because women are not rulers in New York. They’re pedigrees with the appropriate talents to breed male offspring.”
“The bounty is why I am not letting this lie,” Ethan admitted. “I was notified this morning, as some nosy RPS agents decided they needed to do a background check of all individuals working in the archive, and they got a ping from a certain database when they ran a facial recognition scan.”
“I’m dismayed that the thick layers of crap on my face didn’t hide my identity from your facial recognition scanners.” Not only was I dismayed, I resented my inability to hide.
I hadn’t even lasted a day before I’d been discovered.
“First, you’re not going to be waltzed back to New York. I can’t make any promises about ball gowns, and makeup will be optional but discouraged. Your status as New York’s heir is up for debate. I fully intend on building a detail for you here, one that is robust enough to withstand whatever New York has to offer.”
“But why?” I blurted.
“I saw you first.”
Careful to avoid dislodging my rats, I rubbed my temples in an effort to ward away my developing headache. “Terry, please explain the situation logically.”
“The lusty prince is still lusty, and in addition to being lusty, he’s quite determined. If I’m not mistaken, he’s also rethinking his general game plan to ditch out of Cal
ifornia because a new option has been made available,” my RPS agent replied. “Was that what you were looking for?”
“I should be upset with how you two are talking about me, but as it’s accurate, I find I can’t really protest.” Ethan shrugged. “You only have yourself to blame for that. You did a magnificent job of shaving your legs with your talent this morning.”
“My legs are my best quality.”
“Personally, I prefer your face, but your legs are lovely, too.”
I spluttered and looked to Terry for help. The RPS agent sighed. “Your Royal Highness, I wish you the best of luck convincing her of that. It will take a great deal of time and coaxing. She has been taught, from an early age, that she is unattractive, has few or no redeeming qualities, and that she is without prospects. As I said, the familial abuse issue is a serious matter. I was picked for her detail because of my empathy talent and experience working with His Royal Majesty of Montana. I’ve been nearby at all times, monitoring the general situation with my talent, but until recently, she’s been relatively stable.”
Terry really needed a raise. “Well, it’s true. Have you seen a picture of that princess from Maine? Actually, basically, pick a princess from any kingdom. Without exception, they’re prettier.”
“Her Highness of Montana,” Ethan suggested.
I grunted at that, rather offended he could even think such an engaging, intelligent woman could be ugly. “She’s lovely. I watched her on one of the segments today.”
“You have obviously been charmed by Olivia’s personality, which is wonderful,” Ethan admitted. “But she herself is among the first to believe she’s legitimately ugly.”
“I like her nose. It’s cute. She’s just lovely.” I pointed at my face. “This isn’t.”
“As I said. The familial abuse she suffered is severe, but you’ll find Rachel is open to discussion,” Terry said. “I’ve discovered when she’s stressed or anxious, her rats calm her, so it may be worth registering them as therapy animals. I’ve already made a note in the RPS database that her rats should be cared for in case of an emergency.”
“Yes, I had noticed that reaction,” Dr. Stanton said, looking at my pets. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say those were standard sewer rats.”
I gave my precious sewer rats kisses on their noses. “They’re Norway rats. Commonly known as sewer rats.”
“They’re rather small for sewer rats, if that’s the case. I expected them to be twice the size. They’re not much larger than lab rats.”
“While I have no objections to listening to Rachel educate us about her rats, if she’s given half a chance to do so, we may lose several hours of time,” my RPS agent said before I could do just that. “Also, Norway rats are what lab rats were before domestication, so they’re essentially the same base species. The wild variants can get to be up to a foot long, so yes. Hers are rather small for their species.”
“I’ll be happy to listen to you talk about your rats after your medical exam, Rachel,” Dr. Stanton promised. “If your general health is as poor as I’ve been led to believe, the only thing you’re going to be doing for a few weeks is eating, sleeping, and beginning low-strain exercises to rebuild your strength. Minimal work. If you’re the kind who becomes anxious because you aren’t working, I’ll find tasks for you to do to keep you engaged.”
“She’s the kind to become anxious if she lacks a purpose,” Terry announced.
“You’re just on a roll today, Mr. Rat Guy,” I complained.
“You’re going to call me that forever now, aren’t you?”
“Probably. It’s so much more charming than just Terry—and you keep telling them my secrets.”
“They would’ve figured it out on their own anyway given a day or two in your company. I’m saving everyone the hassle. I’m also sparing you from having an argument with Dr. Stanton. I argued on your behalf, anticipating your various complaints.”
Dr. Stanton grinned. “He really did. Let this be a lesson for you, Rachel. Empathic RPS agents are the worst of the lot for hovering and creating issues for other staff. That he wants to bring on an entire team of leeches? I do not envy the other teams that will have to work with you. They’ll do what leeches do when someone they’re responsible for is distressed. There are benefits to having leeches on your detail, but they will be rather alert to changes in your mood and want to resolve any significant issues.”
“That sounds like the exact opposite of New York.”
Dr. Stanton shrugged. “One might call it overcompensation, but frankly, I’m in general agreement with your agent’s current plans. You’re going to need a lot of support, especially if you return to New York.”
Ethan growled at that.
“Your Royal Highness, she is, technically, the current appointee to be the next New York monarch once she returns to her home kingdom. This is not a negotiable point.”
Ethan scowled. “I’m not letting her go to New York, Dr. Stanton.”
I raised my hand. “While I realize my opinion doesn’t hold a lot of weight here, I’m with him. I’d rather not return to New York. For obvious reasons. There’s supposed to be a nice condo nearby where me and my rats can live happily ever after, and I invited a prince to move in with me. I’m okay with this.”
Dr. Stanton blinked. “Pardon?”
“Rachel is unhappy about the congress’s efforts to marry me to some eligible princess, so she seems to have several opinions on options, one of which involves smuggling ourselves to Europe. The other is to hide me in her new condominium, which my uncle arranged as part of her hiring agreement here. Her refugee status currently stands, and frankly, if anyone meets the requirements to be a refugee, it’s her.”
“I am not disputing her right to claim refugee status, although I’m surprised because of the criteria for Californian refugees.”
“She aced the test, Dr. Stanton,” Ethan replied.
The woman looked me over, her brows shooting up. “That’s impressive, Rachel. I’ve taken the trial tests out of curiosity. I flunked out on day four on most of my attempts, and I made it through day five once. You scored perfectly?”
“She really did. That test is deliberately written to be failed out of. Frankly, I don’t even know how it’s possible to ace it,” California’s heir admitted. “Day three is the average, and day four is considered substantially above average. The amount of studying required to pass is ridiculous. The only thing California doesn’t test on is current or past knowledge of politics.”
“When you’re the family reject, too ugly to be paraded out to other kingdoms, and generally considered to be useless, studying is all that’s left.”
The silence that fell in the room led me to believe I’d made of mess of things, and my face warmed from embarrassment.
“This is what I’m talking about,” Terry finally said. “Putting her in an environment where she’s expected to be assertive initially isn’t going to work well. She’s not Queen Mackenzie. She doesn’t have Queen Mackenzie’s motivation to take over the world for the sake of her husband and children. She’s not Princess Evangeline, either, although they share similar circumstances in some regards. She’s definitely not Queen Summer. Those women went through the forge and emerged naturally assertive. Rachel? She emerged able to bend to keep from drowning in her life’s circumstances. She’s not a classic New Yorker. Tossing her back to New York and expecting her to shine in that fashion is a mistake.”
“I saw her first, so I get to keep her.”
The look my RPS agent shot Ethan didn’t bode well for the prince. “Hardly. Technically, I found her first.”
“No, I’m pretty sure I did find her first. She was maybe five, California made an unexpected trip to New York, and Dad took me along so I could start getting used to my duties as the heir. She hadn’t been chased off by anyone yet. When her RPS agents learned we were present, they escorted her to the private wing of the castle while she cried because she wanted to meet someone cl
ose to her age. One of the agents twisted her arm and told her something that immediately put an end to her tears. I don’t know what was said. I didn’t hear it. But I knew fear when I saw it, and I didn’t like it. I only learned her name from deduction, as I checked into who the princesses of New York were, and the only one I hadn’t met was Rachel.”
I remembered the incident, although the memory, like so many others from when I’d been little, were vague. The why of its vagueness bothered me.
Who wanted to remember a childhood like mine? Not me. “I do remember that.” After sifting through my memories, I even pinpointed why I’d been banned from meeting any of the other royal children. “I wasn’t prim or proper enough.”
I’d also refused to wear bows in my hair, and I didn’t want the same exact pretty dresses my sisters wore. I’d wanted the wrong colors. I’d asked too many questions.
“See? I found her first.”
Terry’s eyes widened. “You’ve been obsessed with her since she was five?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say obsessed. I just kept an eye on her, checked in from time to time, and did some things.”
“Did some things?” I demanded. “What things?”
“Well, uh…”
My boss groaned. “I know what you’re going to say, and I’ve a mind to turn you over my knee and give you a spanking over it, Ethan.”
“Please do, sir,” Terry grumbled.
“Terry?” I asked.
Terry pointed at the prince. “I’m willing to bet my career he’s your anonymous auction bid. Because nothing would distress a young prince with a potential empathy talent more than the petty minimum bid rules at auctions. Knowing New York princesses often have trouble, especially after one auction in particular, he probably bid over max to discourage anyone else, and then he wandered off because he would assume you wanted to remain a recluse. There’s the man who stood you up at your auction.”
Of all of the motivations I’d thought of, I hadn’t even considered someone would stand me up trying be kind to me. “But it was a lot of money…”
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