“You’re going get tired of doing that,” I warned.
“You’re worth it.”
I wondered how much would have changed if anyone had thought me worthwhile. If I’d been a little prettier, if I’d been a little better suited for my parents’ needs, and if I’d been easier to get along with, what would have changed? What if I’d been a little more like Sylvia and a little less me?
“Give her a few minutes to process that before you add more positive attention to the mix,” Terry suggested. “Otherwise, we’ll need to get Snookums and Flamingo, and while I’m all right with them being out and about while everyone’s eating, I’ve noticed some are more delicate than others when it comes to animals around food, and she’d kill us if anyone gave them food off their allowed list.”
“They’d love a hamburger, but a hamburger would not love them.” Remembering I had a hamburger or two waiting for my attention, I plucked one out of my bag and unwrapped it enough I could take a bite without making a mess all over myself and the floor. “How much can I eat before it’s a bad idea?”
“I’d stop after that burger and a nugget or two,” Terry replied. “That’ll be a big meal, and you’ll probably not feel well afterwards. Tomorrow, I’ll have the meal replacement drink ready for you in the morning to get your stomach used to having something in the morning. If you throw up, I’ve been instructed to give you another serving of the drink once your stomach settles enough for you to keep something down.”
“Thank you, Terry.” I took another bite of my hamburger, which toed a fine line between delicious and disgusting. “I’m game for petty revenge against my parents.”
Ethan snickered. “Oh, no. What I have in mind will be a masterpiece. Well, it’ll be a little petty, but they’ve earned it. Not only are they going to have to come here to beg for California’s help, they’re going to have to beg you for your help. Anything else we do to them will be icing on the cake. I still need to put some thought into it.”
“Rachel, it’s worth mentioning that you do not have to marry anyone unless you want to.” Terry adopted my new habit of pointing fries at people. “You don’t have to accept Ethan’s advances solely because he was the first man to ask.”
“I see no need to shop around for a man, Terry. You know how I feel about shopping. He seems like a decent one, and decent ones are hard to find. If I let this decent one go, where will I find another decent one?”
Ethan’s brothers raised their hands.
I giggled at their synchronized reaction. “You don’t count, sorry. It somehow seems rude to cherry pick from a quartet of single brothers.”
“I would say I’m hurt, but if you marry Ethan and Ethan keeps his word to browbeat congress, we get to marry who we want when we want rather than who they want when they want,” Thomas replied.
I pointed at Ethan’s other brothers. “You two have names, right?”
“I’m Michaelangelo, but please call me Mike,” the shortest of the lot answered.
“I’m Robert. I don’t care what you call me as long as it’s not Bert.”
“Ethan, your brothers are weird.”
“You’ll get used to them. They’re like warts but a little better. Once you’ve been exposed to them enough, you won’t even want to get rid of them.”
Ethan’s brothers sighed, and to my surprise, his mother snickered. Mindful of Terry’s thoughts on how much I should eat, I finished my burger and claimed a few extra nuggets before attacking my milkshake. If I made myself sick, I’d do so spectacularly. In true New Yorker tradition, I’d go big or go home. “Why wouldn’t you just deal with the wart immediately?”
“They’re minor and I’m lazy,” Ethan replied.
Well, I couldn’t argue with that logic. “You’re going to hurt your brothers’ feelings if you compare them to warts. They’re more visually appealing than warts.”
“They have feelings?”
“We should ask Terry. Terry? Do Ethan’s brothers have feelings?”
Ethan and I gave my RPS agent our undivided attention.
“They do, indeed, have feelings. Right now, they’re amused feelings, and none of them are offended by your commentary.”
“Empaths cheat,” Thomas muttered.
“We do, but when the empath is an RPS agent, we’re cheating for our principal. As Her Royal Highness is my principal, it is my pleasure to cheat on her behalf.”
Ethan laughed. “You can’t win this one, Thomas. The RPS agents are ruthless. They really are. Some like to think the royals actually run the show, but the RPS agents have everyone fooled. They’re really the masterminds, and if we could stop inconveniencing them, they’d appreciate it.”
“Amen,” the gathered RPS chorused.
The longer I kept company with Ethan, the more he surprised me. “Isn’t there a rule against royalty having a sense of humor?”
“Only in New York, and that’s the first thing I intend to change when I’m forced to take the kingdom over to stay with you. We’ll have a great time.”
“We will?”
“Well, I will have a great time. I’ll work to make sure no one interferes with you having a great time—or something like that. I’ll have to play that part of things by ear. But my point stands. We’ll figure it out.”
I eyed my box of nuggets, but my stomach gave its first warning gurgle that I pushed my luck, which decided me. One more nugget would fall to my appetite, consumed in defiance my stomach’s insistence it was full. I grabbed the nugget, dipped it in honey, and savored every bite. “I will sleep on it. Well, nap on it, as I need to feed the babies and keep an eye on them. Runty needs to go to see Dr. Tomastani tomorrow to make certain she’s doing okay.”
“I’ll take you before we storm the congressional session and begin our takeover plan of New York,” Ethan replied.
“You need to see one of my doctors, Ethan. Only an idiot actually wants New York.”
“Well, I don’t want New York. I want a New Yorker. But as I have to take over the entirety of New York to get the New Yorker, so be it.”
“You’re crazy.
“You’re worth it.”
I gathered my garbage, muttered about crazy, lusty princes who needed to see a therapist, and dodged RPS agents and royalty to the kitchen before making my escape to check on my rats.
As warned, dinner rose up to battle against me, but I won the war. My stomach’s sensitivity made it difficult to sleep but helped ensure I got up every hour to check on Runty and her sisters. It left me an exhausted mess in the morning. I had expected Terry to glare at me for my stubbornness, but Ethan’s agents joined in.
“They’re my responsibility,” I announced between yawns.
“Your health is just as important as their health, and you need to sleep. And don’t even try to pretend you didn’t spend most of the night gagging. We heard you.” Terry filled a glass with water, added a chocolate powder to it, and offered it to me. “Drink the whole thing and try to uphold your track record of keeping things in your stomach where they belong. Once you’re ready to go, we have an appointment with Dr. Tomastani, and then His Royal Highness fully intends on taking you to the congress session this afternoon. He’s prepared a speech, apparently.”
While Vince hung out near the door, the image of professionalism and patience, there was no sign of Ethan. “Where is he, anyway?”
“He’s at the palace preparing for battle. He asked me to say specifically that for your amusement. Their Majesties are assisting in his battle plans. I’ve been asked to find you an appropriate outfit.”
Shit. Clothing shopping. “I will light any ball gown offered to me on fire. I really will. I’ll burn the entire store down. Without remorse. Never again, you hear me, Terry? Never again.”
“I was thinking a leather jacket to go with something sassy.”
“I still have that cute little black outfit you made me buy.”
“It won’t fit you well right now, but that was along the lines of what
I was thinking. Some makeup to give you a rebellious edge, and you’ll be good to go. You’re not going to the congress to look pretty. You’re going there to make a stand. While we’re getting you new clothes, Dr. Stanton will be making arrangements for an animal empath and a therapy animal for you. She’s hoping those arrangements will be made before you head over to pay the congress a visit.”
“What sort of animal?”
“Something big and with teeth. What that something big and with teeth will be? I don’t know. But she said she had a line on a promising individual and an animal empath who has strong animal communication skills. But there’s an issue you should be aware of.”
“What?”
“A wildfire started last night east of Sacramento. So far, it’s small, but the conditions aren’t promising for it to stay small. They’re having trouble containing it.”
“Can I skip the session with congress and have a look at the wildfire?”
“No, but if the wildfire isn’t contained, I can file the proposal for you to join the team. It’s not spreading quickly.”
“Yet.”
“Yet,” he conceded. “Dr. Tomastani is sending an assistant over to pick up your babies so you can focus today. She’ll personally handle their care and do their examinations. She recommends you leave Snookums and Flamingo at home if you can manage. She thinks it would be wise for the introduction to your new therapy animal.”
“Snookums and Flamingo are used to staying home. If she’s taking care of the babies, I’m okay with that.”
“Good. An RPS agent will be here until her assistant picks up the rats. Vince will be with us until you rejoin His Royal Highness. Just so you’re aware, His Royal Majesty of Montana flew in early this morning following His Royal Highness calling to discuss the matter. The congress session will be interesting.”
“His Royal Majesty of Montana is here?”
“He is.”
“But why?”
Montana’s direct involvement would be the equivalent of hanging a neon sign around my neck and proclaiming my presence in the kingdom.
“He enjoys poking New York with a stick.” Terry went to work tidying the kitchen, which showed no sign of a fast food frenzy having taken place.
Doomsday and Armageddon pounced my feet, and I considered the fluffy black beasts. “It seems Ethan neglected to take his kittens with him.”
“They live here with you, Rachel. It’s part of his excuse to stay close all the time, although considering how things are progressing, I expect you’ll be moved to the palace soon enough. It’ll be almost impossible for a bounty hunter to take you from the palace. Your medical leave from the archive will help with that. I expect this condominium will become your permanent residence for visits to California in the future, however. The RPS is already working on enhancing security to the building, but it’ll be a few weeks until it’s up to standards for protecting royalty.”
“Your job has to suck, Terry.”
“Well, I do have to say it’s nice being able to handle some normal RPS duties for a change rather than biting my nails trying to figure out how to protect you without anyone realizing you’re here.”
“I’m sorry.”
Terry waved off my apology. “I told you before. I like my job, even when my job is weird and requires thinking outside of the box. I won’t mind settling down once you’re in New York, assuming you decide to return to New York.”
“It’s obvious I’m going to have to. If I don’t decide to, someone will decide to for me, so it’s best if I decide to on my terms rather than theirs. I don’t know what Ethan’s up to, but if he sticks it to my parents, I’m all right with that.”
“I figured that would be the case. I do hope you won’t hold a grudge.”
“I’m going to be too busy to hold a grudge. Unlike my parents, I do actually care about what happens to my kingdom.”
“There will be those who will claim that’s not the case because you left New York in the first place.”
“There will always be those who believe they can do a better job than me because I do not possess a penis. I learned that early on.”
“Right along when you were told women couldn’t rule New York, I presume.”
“Yep.”
“As I suspect you need to hear it today, women are more than capable of ruling New York.”
“I guessed that from the bounty on my living head. I also think my parents have lost their fucking minds. They’re inviting a hostage situation, frankly.”
“That is why His Royal Majesty of Montana decided to fly in personally, admittedly. He’s also bringing a few agents to help supplement your detail until this matter is resolved. The former head of his detail, who recently retired due to medical issues, will be on hand for consultation. The agent isn’t handling retirement all that well, so he tries to get involved whenever possible. This should make him happy. It’ll complicate matters, but he has a lot of experience working with moody empathic monarchs. Alfred does know his business. He just doesn’t have the mobility required to be an active agent in the RPS.”
“He can come to New York in an advisory position, and he can do that training stuff I hear RPS agents need—and teach the New York RPS how to handle things. I’m not against stealing more Montana RPS agents. I’ll need all the help I can get.”
“You’re not that bad, Rachel.”
“Like hell I’m not. When my doctor says I need a predatory therapy animal because a dog might not be enough to handle all my problems, there is an issue. And I will have a severe issue if my predatory therapy animal views rats or cats as meals.”
“The animal empath will ensure that your therapy animal will not view your pets as meals.”
“That animal empath is asking for miracles and might need to make use of my doctor, too.”
“Well, from my understanding of the situation, the animal empath is a rather strong elite. That helps.”
“The animal empath better make it clear I will incinerate anyone who hurts my pets.”
“While I’m supposed to encourage any assertiveness, please don’t light your therapy animal on fire.”
“Then my therapy animal and my pets better come to a peaceful understanding about how things will work in my household.”
“It’s going to be a long day,” Terry predicted.
“Every day is a long day when you’re stuck with me.”
“We’re going to have to work on this. That’s not at all true, Rachel. Let’s try an experiment.”
“What experiment?”
“If you say something negative about yourself that is undeserved, the following day, you will have to go clothing shopping to expand your wardrobe. If you are particularly negative, you will have to purchase a ball gown you’re not allowed to light on fire.”
“That is cruel and unfair punishment.”
“So is you treating yourself like you’re without worth. You’re going to wake up one morning soon as a queen responsible for an entire kingdom, and your kingdom needs you at your best. You can do better than hating yourself for circumstances outside of your control. Save your self-deprecation for when you’ve actually done something worth chiding yourself over. I’ll give you a free pass for this morning, but starting now, I’ll be keeping a close eye on you—as will the other agents. If you’re caught, you’ll have to go shopping. It’ll be one article of clothing per infraction.”
“Cruel, unfair, and unusual punishment, Terry.”
“It’s not cruel, unfair, or unusual punishment. It’s a motivational tool to break a destructive habit. I’ll even be generous. If your infraction is minor, we can do your shopping at a thrift store. Right now, your infractions are more major in nature, and don’t even try to hide it, Rachel. You secretly love thrift stores. They’re full of treasures to you.”
Damn. My RPS agent was not pulling his blows. “You’re ruthless.”
“Whatever is necessary to do my job well. Now, finish checking on your pets and g
et ready to go. We have a tight schedule today, and unless you’re careful, you might find yourself with a permanent princely attachment.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Only if you don’t want a lusty prince following you around until death do you part.”
“Well, I’m not sure I would want a random lusty prince, but I could tolerate a specific lusty prince.”
“That’s because you’re a lusty princess with an empathy talent and a probable although unconfirmed bond—and nobody is interested in testing the bond at this point in time. You have enough on your plate, and your lusty prince is demonstrating enough bonding symptoms we’re unofficially considering it evidence of you being bonded.”
“I thought we had already gotten through that portion of the evaluation. I don’t want more evaluations. I went through enough evaluations yesterday.”
“And you’ll get to go through more evaluations tomorrow. Dr. Stanton is concerned about some of the results of yesterday’s testing.”
“Physical, mental, or magical?”
“Actually, she’s concerned you might be suffering from minor talent exertion from your daily attempts to light water on fire.”
“Seriously?”
“Dr. Stanton spent a long night researching your situation along with your concerns about your talent bottling and erupting. She believes your attempts to light water on fire are a brilliant method of controlling your talent, but it’s likely keeping you unhealthily depleted. She wants to find a better way for you to use your talent or have you limit your attempts to light water on fire to every other day. Some of your test results are similar to talent exertion victims. She’s already been on the phone with Maine trying to make an arrangement for another examination. If all goes well, someone from Maine might be able to come as soon as tomorrow.”
“This will not keep my presence here a secret, Terry.”
“The instant you pay the congress a visit today and stake your claim over His Royal Highness, the chances of us keeping this secret are approximately zero. Instead of trying to accomplish the impossible, we’re working with the possible. That means protecting you through as many situations as we can. As we believe your training with the RPS has been lacking at best, this will be an issue. I’m also unfortunately rusty at protecting a principal through an active risk. I’ll need retraining as well.”
Cold Flame Page 25