by Coralie Moss
“Do you have any mint tea? Or chamomile, something herbal?” she asked.
Liam took her jacket, hung it up, and draped her bag over the same hook. “I’ll look. Go on upstairs, get into bed.”
She held tight to the handrail, afraid to trust her legs, her mind blank and raging at the same time. She had no idea what to do next or what to say to Liam. She stripped off her clothes, and put on a pair of flowy knit pants and an oversized cashmere sweater. She needed to be surrounded by warm, soft things.
The doorbell chimed as Liam climbed the stairs. He handed the mug of tea to Anna.
“I’ll get rid of whoever it is,” he promised, “and be right up.”
She set the mug on the long bench that ran the length of the bed and awaited the coming storm.
“Where is she?" Daniel’s voice rumbled like low, angry thunder. “Where is Annalissa?”
“Danny, what are you talking about?”
The commotion on the second floor brought Anna out of the master bedroom. She stepped to the top of the stairs, one shoulder exposed, her overlong pants puddling around her painted toes. She descended, keeping her back pressed to the wall and her gaze on Daniel.
He glared at her every step of the way down. With the two of them a captive audience, he held up the sketchbook Liam left at the restaurant and opened it to a sketch of Anna’s face. And her naked, voluptuous body. This drawing, like the others, was made by a man who admired, desired—and likely knew intimately—the subject of his creative expression.
Anna could only watch and wait as Liam made the connections between the three of them. He pinched the bridge of his nose. The tremor in his hand reappeared.
“Liam. Annalissa. You both have some explaining to do.” Daniel’s voice dropped a few decibels, but his anger was palpable.
“Daniel. Let me start. I saw you as soon as we walked into the restaurant tonight. I had no idea you were Liam’s uncle.” She turned her head and body, still plastered to the wall for support, and looked at Liam. “Neither of us ever mentioned Daniel by name, did we?” She turned again to Daniel. “And no one else calls me Annalissa. I’ve been Anna for decades. Anna Granger. And that’s how Liam knows me.”
She left out the part about Saffron.
Daniel’s face was flushed. Liam’s was pale. Anna didn’t know what else to say. Your nephew’s the sexiest man I ever met. Thanks for whatever you might have contributed to that?
Probably not a good thing to mention right now.
“I’ll be in the kitchen,” Liam said.
Anna couldn’t read Liam’s face, but she could read his body language. No part of him reached out to her when he exited the entranceway. She slid against the wall and sat, burying her face in her hands. When she lifted her head and took a breath, Daniel was still staring in the direction of his nephew’s retreating back.
“I had no idea Liam was your nephew,” she repeated.
“Are you in love with him?” he asked, aghast. “Are you planning to…to move here? Because you can’t be in love with…with him.” The anger Daniel walked in with left the space. He sat on the stair below her, his free hand reaching for her sleeve. His other fingers clutched at the sketchbook like he was weighing the value of his past and her present.
Anna’s eyes darted from one to the other.
He relaxed his grip on her arm, placed the sketchbook next to Anna, and drew in a long breath. “When did you two get together?”
“Does that really matter?” she asked. “Because I think it’s far more important you tell me why you didn’t let me know Liam was going to be on the island? You were the one who recommended it to him in the first place, for God’s sake.” Anna’s voice was more emotion-fueled than his. “You had so many chances to say something to me about him, but you didn’t.”
Daniel slid his fingers through his hair and shook his head. “None of this is your fault—or Liam’s—and I am so very, very sorry I wasn’t open with you from the beginning.”
“I am too, Danny. I am too.”
“I’ll go say goodbye to Liam and be on my way.”
Chapter Nineteen
Anna waited in the master bedroom until she heard Daniel leave. She found Liam in the kitchen, absorbed in preparing sandwiches. Although she was in no mood to process the evening’s events, she was famished. She wanted food, and a drink or three, and a movie—and a big eraser.
The griddle sizzled when he added a pat of butter and sighed as he lowered fully loaded sandwiches onto the hot surface.
“I’m in shock,” he said, “and this is how I deal with it.”
Anna wanted to toss a silly remark onto the counter, something to make him crack a smile and break the tension rolling off his shoulders. She decided against interrupting.
“You were just in my bed, and I was just inside you, watching you orgasm. I was looking forward to an entire weekend of doing a lot more of that. And right now, all I can picture is you and Daniel in Mexico...” He shook his head, reached for a wood spatula, and lined up the crusted edges of the sandwiches with exacting precision. “You have no idea what it’s like to feel my body working again, no medical intervention or assistance, and then…” His shoulders sagged. The raised hand covering his eyes drove home how much he was struggling.
Cheese melted and dripped onto the griddle. The sizzling sound cut into the growing silence. Anna’s belly clenched, a hard fist going harder. Liam cut and plated the sandwiches and put them on a waiting tray with two pilsner glasses. Reaching into the small refrigerator under the counter, he added two bottles of beer and turned to face her.
“Food’s up. Hope you’re hungry.” His voice was non-committal.
“Are you angry?” She couldn’t read the expressions moving across his face and through his body. All the joy and confidence that had propelled her off the plane and kept her steady on her high-heeled boots shattered.
“Angry? With you? I don’t think so. I’m not sure.” He hefted the tray, returned it to the counter, and slid a plate toward her. “Speaking selfishly, I’m glad Daniel never gave me any details about you. Because then you would have been off limits. Completely off limits.”
He flipped the lid off one bottle of beer and filled their glasses. Anna bit into the crunchy sourdough. Liam downed his half of the beer, opened another bottle, and refilled his glass.
“We never talked about your trip to Mexico.” He twirled the glass in his fingers, sloshing the deep amber liquid, and attempted a half-smile. “And now that I know who you were with, I’m not so sure I want to hear about it.”
Anna watched and listened from a disembodied place. She finished chewing and tried to swallow, the once scrumptious sandwich now a lump of cardboard threatening to choke her airways. She washed it down with a sip of beer and waited to hear the question forming on Liam’s tongue.
“Did you two get sexual?” His question clouded the space between his body and Anna’s.
“Is that information relevant to what’s going on with you and me?” Her silent prayers were spooling out, fast and furious.
“No.” Perched on the kitchen stool, he inhaled as he jerked sharply to the right, setting off a chain reaction of popping sounds up the length of his spine.
Relief. Prayers answered.
“And yes,” he added. “Yes. Because suddenly it matters a whole lot to me if you’ve been sexual with someone since I last saw you, and picturing that someone might be my uncle feels…”
She watched his face as he searched for words.
“It feels really weird, Anna, and really uncomfortable,” he finished.
Her arms, hands, and jaw trembled. “Liam, I swear to you, I had no idea you and Daniel were related. Anytime you made a reference to him, you never gave him a name. Never!”
“I know.” His voice was soft, subdued, and full of something she hadn’t heard before. Hurt, maybe, and his face was awash with profound confusion. “And right now, I’m kicking myself. I’m thinking I should have known who you were.
Who you are, to him.”
He left his half-empty glass on the counter and stood, pacing away from her.
Come back, Liam. Please. We can figure this out.
“I keep replaying the conversations he and I had when we were in Italy in the spring, but the physical description he gave of you was from decades ago. And he called you Annalissa, and the way he says your name, I thought you were from somewhere in Europe.” He stared at Anna with such intensity she shrank further into herself. “When you and I met, in Vancouver, I had no idea my new friend, Saffron, was my uncle’s former lover.”
“And I had no idea my new friend, Leo, was my old boyfriend’s nephew.” She couldn’t keep the edge of hurt from sharpening her voice.
“So, did you?”
Anna covered her eyes with one shaking hand, unable to keep her tears from spilling. This couldn’t be happening. Not after seeing the joy on Liam’s face when he picked her up at the airport. Not after what happened between them with such heat and ease a couple hours ago on his bed. “I can’t have this conversation right now. I’m going to take the guestroom, and I’ll be out in the morning.”
“But, Anna…”
She raised her head. He was so far away. “No, Liam. Just… No. I’ve been blindsided, and I don’t want to say anything I don’t mean, especially not to you. Can you please try to understand? This feels so unfair.”
Liam hesitated and walked to Anna, wrapping her in his arms. “I’ll move your bags. Let’s see how we feel in the morning.”
Anna showered in the guest bathroom, dressed, and waited. Her hands shook, her heart was frantic, and her movements were on an autopilot set to survival mode. She found a way to switch her return flight to Vancouver without too much of a financial penalty and a local airport limousine service that could provide her a ride to Albany.
She called, asked the driver to wait for her at the road, and specified they shouldn’t honk.
Well before the sun rose, she was at the terminal entrance, through security, and on the first of the three flights it would take to get her to Vancouver. If she was lucky, she’d make the last ferry out and be in her own bed before midnight.
If she was lucky.
All the luck she’d been cashing in since her birthday appeared on the verge of abandoning her for younger, greener pastures. The scene in the foyer the night before with the three of them riled her, but the way Liam handled the intrusion and the news lulled her into thinking they would laugh this off, chalking the odds up to kismet or karma. Anna started to shut down as Liam’s mood shifted from relaxed to probing.
Buckled into her window seat, she crossed her arms and raised the plastic blind. The sunrise was muddied by layers of striated clouds; her fingernails were the brightest spots in the area. She’d kept up with regular manicures after the trip to Mexico. On this gray and somber day, the perky shade of pink reminded her of all the foolishness she had indulged in, all because she had a man interested in her.
Two men. And who wore candy pink nail polish this close to winter? Novices.
She could go back to her island life, back to being Invisible Anna. She had nail polish remover in her bathroom cupboard. The sexy boots Elaine urged her to purchase could claim a spot in the back of her closet. The dresses Gigi and Neena custom designed would go into a protective dress bag.
The rickety tower of hope she’d built in her heart could be dismantled, its pieces dropped on the nearby beach for the ever-present waves to claim, soften, and dissolve.
She could go back to being Anna Granger, soon-to-be-grandmother. Maybe all this was telling her it was time to give serious consideration to tying up her life on the island she and Gary and the kids had—for so long—called home. Maybe a young couple would want to rent her cottage and she’d find a condo in Toronto, closer to her son and daughter-in-law.
Elaine was waiting in the parking lot of the ferry terminal, her car a warm refuge in the freezing rain. She stayed quiet while Anna dropped her luggage in the back and settled herself in the passenger seat.
“Was it that bad in New York?” Elaine asked.
Anna took a deep breath and blew it out through her lips. “After Daniel left, Liam seemed to be handling everything. And then he wasn’t. I mean, I know he was surprised—we were all surprised—but he was kind of joking, and we were eating grilled cheese sandwiches, and then he wanted to know if Danny and I had sex. And things spiraled from there.”
“You can hardly blame either of them for their reactions. Or you for that matter.” Elaine pulled up behind Anna’s truck. “Want me to come in with you? I stopped in and turned the heat and a couple of lights on. We should go for coffee tomorrow.”
“No, you’ve done enough, El.” Anna moved to leave, opening the door to the back seat so she could remove her suitcase. “Tomorrow, maybe. I feel a good cry coming on, and I don’t want to do anything rash or stupid.”
“Like packing up and moving to Toronto?” Elaine eased her car into reverse. “Get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
Anna moved through the rooms of her well-loved, well-lived-in home, the slender heels of her new boots echoing on the wood floor. The emptiness around her was profound.
She stopped behind the couch, the kitchen at her back, her hand resting on the worn pillows of the ancient piece of furniture. Her gaze travelled around the room, over every chair, table, shelf, and lamp. The tongue-and-groove walls had grown dark with age and smoke from the woodstove. Some of the double paned windows were foggy where the seals had grown weak. The curtains were… Shit, those were the curtains her grandmother had made for the house when it was built, years before Anna was born.
She unzipped one boot and the other and tossed the shiny black footwear into her bedroom. Snug, stretchy jeans were next, followed by every other piece of clothing donned with such stealth in Liam’s guest bedroom. She traded her new clothes for a pair of leggings and a hooded sweatshirt and began a project she hoped she wouldn’t regret in the morning.
Anna Granger set about to rearrange her life.
She might be stinging from an overload of unplanned encounters, but those sensations would fade. And what she’d be left with was what she had all along. Her self. Her creative, big-hearted, still sexy, newly orgasmic self. Maybe she could get Liam and Daniel to sign sworn statements to that effect and use their endorsements to find herself a local boyfriend.
Humor patting her back, she started with the shelves. Putting a hand to every book, magazine, and object, she made piles, vowing the Must-Keeps would be minimal. Most relevant to her current goal was the Must-Go pile—piles—and, finally, a gray area for things her kids might want. If neither Gary nor Gigi was willing to haul something away or store it at their cottage, it would automatically head to one of the Must-Go piles.
Satisfied with her system, she continued. She fanned the pages of every book after lifting it off the shelf. The occasional shopping list or Post-it note fell out, stopping her progress only if it was written in her husband’s hand. Holding those scraps allowed for a comforting sweetness to bloom over the sadness she’d been carrying for over twenty-four hours. Maybe she wouldn’t have to give up sexy boots and regular mani-pedis or even her house by the water.
Exhausted at last, Anna brushed her teeth and fell into bed, her legs scissoring with the cold sheets, the hood of her sweatshirt pulled over her head. She could do this. Out with the old, in with the new, she thought, breathing her way toward a much-needed sleep.
Sunday was a muddled mess of a day. She puttered in her sewing studio, took a stab at fleshing out the sketches she’d made in Mexico, and gave up. She couldn’t tackle the kitchen until the living room was done, and the sheer amount of crap all over the floor meant a late afternoon nap was her only sane option. At least her bed was clear. She fell into a fitful sleep.
The muffled sound of tires crunching along the gravel and dirt road made its way into Anna’s awareness, separating her from a dream of bottomless packing boxes. She
listened from her darkened bedroom, her senses on high alert. The vehicle passed her house and stopped. Car doors opened and closed before it turned around and drove out the way it came. The sounds could mean only one thing. Liam hadn’t altered his travel plans. He’d come back to the island.
Her body urged her to get out of bed and see him. Her heart pulled the covers tight, refusing to leave the warm sanctuary of the familiar sheets and quilt. Her head wanted this uncomfortable state of limbo to be done and over with.
She’d been home twenty-four hours. Her phone was uncharged, so she had no idea if Liam had tried to reach her. She’d had no word from Daniel since they’d parted company in the foyer of Liam’s house in upstate New York, and she’d made no effort to contact her former flame. Her emotions were still simmering and unsettled, although at least one thing was crystal clear: Daniel didn’t want to be in a relationship with her, but he had used her to help find a locked-away part of himself so he could move forward. The more she had contact with the person he’d become, the less she wanted to be intimately involved with a man who had the power to make her question her self-worth.
Anna slid her feet into the slippers by her bed and padded into the kitchen. The glass of wine she’d nursed earlier was in the fridge. She brought it out and topped it off before surveying the mess in her living room. Her nap—and now the knowledge that Liam was home—meant sleep wasn’t an option. Her internal clock was completely messed up, but if she turned on any lights and tried to keep packing, he’d know she was home and she wasn’t ready to have the conversation she imagined they would eventually have.
Anna opened the door to the guest bedroom and shut it behind her, needing to channel her rising anxiety. She could work in here with the lights on without her neighbor being able to see she was awake.