“Listen Em, if this is too much, I can come back tomorrow,” Jackson said apologetically.
“No, no. Go ahead. She needs to know,” Aunt Georgia said from the table, taking another sip of her coffee.
Jackson hesitated and then walked back over and sat back down as he continued to read the files.
“So, the best we can figure is Jenny met Roy. Roy somehow found out Jenny had managed to hide most of the money from Jordy’s accident from your father. Roy wooed your mama. Jenny and your daddy got divorced. Jenny and Roy moved in together, and then Roy gets the money and spends it all on trucks, boats, guns, you name it.”
“But Daddy, Daddy had a temper. Even though he and Mama fought, I don’t see him not being suspicious when some guy moves in with Mama and then goes all over town, spending money like crazy. There’s no way Daddy would stand for that,” I said as I leaned up against the sink shaking my head in disbelief.
“That’s the thing. Roy was a mechanic in Alabama. At least part of the time anyway. His wife had an accident due to a mechanical failure with the brakes. Your daddy died in an accident, too, but because his blood alcohol levels were so high, no one bothered to see if anything was actually wrong with his truck,” Jackson said.
Suddenly, it all made sense, Mama and Roy’s whirlwind romance. I always thought that Roy never loved Mama and that he was only out for himself, but I could never figure out what it was. All along, it was the money. Nothing more, just the money.
“Oh, my God! You are telling me that Roy might be responsible for the death of not only his wife, but the death of Daddy, and now Mama, and he’s walking around here free?” I asked with rage burning inside of me.
“Yes, I am afraid so, Em... I’m sorry, but without a body, they couldn’t prove anything,” Jackson said sadly.
“I’m sorry, Jackson, but that’s not good enough,” I retorted.
“Now Em, Jackson is just trying to help,” Aunt Georgia said, standing up from the table.
“It’s okay, Georgia. Em’s just upset. She has a right to be,” Jackson said.
“I am tired of hearing no body, no case. Like there’s no chance and it's over, and there’s nothing we can do, and we’re just going to let Roy win. That’s the problem. Roy always wins. Everyone is afraid of him,” I said.
Jackson walked over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders in an attempt to calm me down.
“It’s okay. We’re not quitting. We may not have a body, but we don’t have to give up. We’ll fight as long as you want,” Jackson assured me.
“What else do you know?” I asked, walking away from Jackson once again as I bent down to pick up Tiny. The last thing I needed was Jackson distracting me.
Jackson cleared his throat, apparently affected by my actions. “Well, Roy walked up from a large hill the night it happened. He was all bloodied and bruised. They searched the lake for Jenny, for the car, but found nothing. They thought in the winter when they lowered the water levels of the lake they would find Jenny’s bo..... they would at least find something,” Jackson said, stopping himself as though realizing talking about Mama was too painful for me to hear.
“Oh my God! How does someone like him get away with that?” I asked, feeling a weight fall on my chest that almost knocked me over.
“I’ll tell ya how, one word,: drugs. Plain and simple. Drugs,” Aunt Georgia said in disgust as she stood beside me in agreement.
“She’s right. He transports them from somewhere in the city and then has his thugs sell them. Everyone knows it, but no one can do anything about it,” Jackson added.
I sat in silence, horrified as I tried to process the reality of it all.
“So that’s it? Roy just gets his way and bullies anyone he wants in the meantime?” I asked, frustrated.
“It’s just the way it is, Em.” Aunt Georgia said, tearing up.
“It’s okay, Georgia,” Jackson said as he patted her on the shoulder.
“Listen, it has been a long day. I will leave you two alone. Sorry to upset both of you. Just know that I want to get Roy, too, not just to make sure that you get this house, which is rightfully yours, but for the murder of his first wife, and for the murder of your mama and daddy. I know he did it. I just can’t yet prove it. You deserve happiness, Em,” Jackson said, gathering up his things.
Aunt Georgia walked towards Jackson. “Hey Jackson, do you mind driving me home? Jimmy dropped me off this morning and is supposed to pick me up soon, but once he gets women on his mind, it’s no tellin’ what time he will be here,” Aunt Georgia said.
“Sure, Georgia. It’s my pleasure,” Jackson said, reaching down and patting Tiny on the head again as she happily wagged her tail. Tiny seemed to be smitten with Jackson and obviously didn’t care who knew.
Aunt Georgia hugged me and kissed my head. “Now don’t you worry, Honey. You are going to be fine. I am goin’ to go home and fix you a nice supper, and I’ll have Julie pick you up as soon as she gets off work, and we will all eat a good meal. You should come, too, Jackson,” Aunt Georgia said.
“I would love to, Georgia, but I promised my Mama that I would eat with her tonight,” he said, still petting Tiny as she pawed at him, and he picked her up again.
“Your mama’s lucky to have a son like you. Lord, how I wished Jim would have turned out like you,” Aunt Georgia said as she moved out of the kitchen.
I walked Jackson and Aunt Georgia to the door.
“Em.... Sorry about everything, really. Please call me if you need anything, anything at all. Even if it’s just to talk. I’m here,” Jackson said as he handed me Tiny and then pulled from his shirt pocket his card and then scribbled his cell number on the back.
“Thank you, Jackson,” I said as I watched them both get in the car.
“Traitor,” I said, looking at Tiny as she tried to get down from my arms to run after Jackson. I stood staring out the door as I watched them drive away.
“Not again, Jackson. You stole my heart once, and you may have stolen Tiny’s, but not mine, not this time,” I tried to convince myself.
CHAPTER 11- DOUBLE VISION
I felt relieved to be alone in the old house again. I had gotten used to not having anyone around. That was how it was for me. I was always hiding nearly all of myself. I picked up my bag that had been sitting on the living room floor since I’d gotten there and made my way to the stairs. I needed a shower before anyone else stopped by. I made it to the top step before pausing. I remembered Jordy and I running up and down the stairs playing and laughing. I could almost feel her there with me. I took another step forward and found myself facing the door to Jordy’s old room. It had been years since I had been inside. Even after her death, no one could bear to go in. We just left everything as it was, as if she was merely gone away and would be returning.
I opened the door and looked inside. The bed had been stripped clean. The headboard was chipped and had been painted a dark green. Pain filled my chest. I felt violated. The paint looked like graffiti on a sacred monument. Roy had taken this childhood memory and defaced it. I felt anger swarm in my body like a nest of bees.
I felt sick to my stomach. This room was filled with Roy’s presence. It even still smelled like his cheap cigarettes. I gagged at the scent, and my stomach felt even more queasy as I realized there was nothing left! Not one memory of Jordy!
How could this have happened? How could Mama have just let Roy take over? She had let him erase every memory of Jordy and me like we never existed. Could she really have been that wasted? Even the old, white dresser where Jordy used to put her dolls was now covered up with a dartboard and hunting gear.
I walked over to the closet and slowly opened the door. I saw a small leg sticking out from under the piles of junk; it was Jordy’s doll. An old porcelain doll with blonde, matted hair, wearing a black and white velvet dress. Her face now had a tiny crack in it, and one of her legs was broken entirely. I cried uncontrollably as I held onto the doll. Damn him! I cried even harder.
I placed what was left of the broken doll inside my bag. I was broken. Roy had broken me, too. He had taken everything, even my innocence. I had tried to fight him off, but he held my mouth shut with his oil-stained hands. He warned me with his disgusting whiskey and tobacco breath that if I told, he would kill me. I kept quiet. I stopped fighting. This time would be different. I would fight.
I was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up outside as I heard the gravel hit against the ground.
I quickly moved back downstairs. I looked in the corner of the room at the shotgun Jimmy had given me. What was happening to me? This place was overwhelming me.
I tried to gather myself as I looked out the door. A blue sedan pulled up closer and stopped.
Cousin Julie stepped out. She was dressed in green nursing scrubs and her dark hair was cut in a short bob that perfectly framed her face. I stepped out, and she ran up to me and gave me a tight hug.
“It’s really you!” Julie said with tears in her eyes and then let me go as she stood back and looked at me.
I smiled and nodded. I had missed Cousin Julie. She was older than me and had always been like a big sister to me. Julie had been away at college the day we lost Jordy.
“We didn’t know if you would ever come back, Em.” Julie said warmly.
“Mama has a big supper cooked for you. That’s what you need, some good home-cookin'. That city food has you as skinny as a rail,” Julie said.
I was hungry. I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten a real meal. The shower would have to wait. Julie came inside while I freshened up a little, pulled back my hair, and threw on a change of clothes.
We got into the car and within minutes, pulled into Aunt Georgia’s drive.
Suddenly, Julie’s voice faded into the background as the car came to a stop. I opened the door and saw a little girl with blonde ringlets and a white dress running, playing, and blowing bubbles.
I slowly approached as I stared at her in disbelief. It was surreal.
“J-Jordy?” I said, bending down as my jaw dropped open.
“No, silly. I’m Katie,” the little girl said, giggling as she twirled and blew bubbles all around me.
“Em, this is my daughter Katie. Remember, I told you about Kyle and Katie on the ride over. I’m sorry, I should have told you that she looked like Jordy,” Julie said.
“Katie?” I asked, trying to gather myself as I stared at this double of Jordy.
“Mama and Granny say I look like Jordy. Did you know her?” Katie asked with bright eyes.
“Y-yes. Jordy was my sister.” I said, forcing a smile.
“Then you are my cousin, too!” Katie said, giggling.
“I guess I am,” I said with a half-smile, still in shock.
“You like bubbles?” Katie asked as she blew them all around my face.
I stood there frozen a moment as bubbles danced all around me.
I was jarred out of my stupor by a gentle pull on my leg from Katie.
“Cousin Em. Do you like bubbles?” Katie repeated.
“Yes, I love bubbles,” I said softly.
“Now Katie, what did I tell you about blowin’ bubbles in people’s faces?” Julie said.
“Sorry, Mama. Sorry Em,” Katie said apologetically.
“It’s okay,” I whispered to Katie as I playfully popped one of the bubbles.
“Kyle, come over here and meet your Cousin Em,” Julie said.
A boy who appeared no more than eight years old with dark hair and tanned skin walked over to us with his hands cupped and wearing a mischievous grin.
“What you got, Kyle? It better not be another snake!” Julie scolded.
Kyle opened his hands, and a frog jumped out and wiggled away.
“What did I tell you about frogs, Kyle?” Julie asked.
“That it will give me warts,” Kyle said with a frown.
“Kyle, tell your Cousin Em hi,” Julie said as she made her way to the front door.
“Hi, Cousin Em,” Kyle said.
“Hi, Kyle. I like frogs, too,” I said, smiling as I whispered to Kyle.
Kyle smiled back.
We all made our way inside.
“Go wash your hands, kids,” Julie said.
“I swear,” Julie said in a huff as she made her way inside.
I kind of felt sorry for Julie. Aunt Georgia was gone a lot when she was little trying to earn a living. It seemed what time Aunt Georgia did have left had gone to Jimmy and his drug problem. It wasn’t that Aunt Georgia didn’t love Julie. It was just that Aunt Georgia had gotten so caught up in work that Julie had gotten lost in the background. The sad thing was with Julie’s husband on the road so much Julie had seemed to be doing the same thing.
Aunt Georgia wiped off her hands on her apron and looked up from the oven as we entered the kitchen.
“Oh, Lord! What did Kyle do now?” Aunt Georgia said with a look of worry.
“More like what he didn’t do. I swear Mama, Jimmy is gonna have to quit encouragin’ him,” Julie said, exhausted.
“Honey, you know it’s just because Randy’s away. Kyle just needs a male to look up to.” Aunt Georgia said.
“But Jimmy? Really, Mama?”
“I know, Honey, but I think Jim is just tryin’ to teach him to be a man, the best way he can.”
“I can’t wait until Randy gets back. The kids need him,” Julie said.
“I know Honey,” Aunt Georgia said.
“Hi, Em. So glad you could come to eat. We’ve missed you! It just hasn’t been the same without you. Jimmy will be here in a minute,” Aunt Georgia said.
“Thank you, Aunt Georgia. I have missed you guys, too,” I said. The truth was, in some ways, I had missed Aunt Georgia, Cousin Julie, and even Jimmy, but being home certainly had stirred up a lot of painful memories.
The scents of cornbread, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, corn, and a pineapple upside-down cake filled my nose.
The kids came into the kitchen. Katie sat beside me and smiled. My heart skipped a beat. It was almost too much. “You okay, Em?” Aunt Georgia asked with a look of concern.
“Yeah, sure, tired is all,” I said, shrugging it off.
“Well, let’s say grace. Looks like Jim is going to be late again, and we don’t want our food to get cold, do we, Katie?” Aunt Georgia asked with a smile.
“No way,” Katie said, holding a baby doll and shaking her head no, so her blonde ringlets fell to her shoulders.
“You want to say grace, Kyle?” Aunt Georgia asked with a smile.
“Yep,” Kyle said with a wide grin.
“God is um Good. God is um gr......”
Suddenly, we were interrupted by the sound of the house phone ringing.
Kyle jumped up from the table.
“Uncle Jimmy!”
Aunt Georgia answered the phone.
“Everyone was countin’ on you, Jim. Where are you?” Aunt Georgia was silent a moment, and a look of disappointment washed over her face. She hung up the phone and sighed as she straightened her apron and walked towards the table.
“Something wrong, Mama?” Julie asked, getting the dessert out of the oven.
“It’s your brother, he won’t be making it for dinner tonight,” Aunt Georgia replied.
“Ah, Uncle Jimmy promised to give me a ride in his car,” Kyle said.
A look of disappointment filled Julie’s face.
“Kyle, you need to stop countin’ on your Uncle Jim, seems he thinks more of himself than his family,” Julie said with a look of exhaustion.
“Now Julie, let’s not upset the kids,” Aunt Georgia said.
“Why, Mama? They should know Jimmy ain’t never gonna change,” Julie said with frustration.
“Let’s not let good food go to waste,” Aunt Georgia said, changing the subject.
“Now Kyle, you go ahead and say grace,” Aunt Georgia said, looking at Kyle.
“Kyle, you put down that frog now,” Cousin Julie ordered as I ran to
get an old coffee can sitting nearby. Kyle placed the frog in it, and everyone bowed their heads.
“God is good. God is, um, great. Now we give thanks for this food. Amen.” Kyle said and then dug into his food.
“Amen,” everyone said in unison.
We went through dinner with Kyle telling us about the frog that he had caught, Aunt Georgia talking about recipes, and Cousin Julie and I talking about work.
Everyone finished up, and Julie and Aunt Georgia bathed the kids and put them to bed. I insisted on doing the dishes.
Moments later, I turned to the sound of footsteps as Julie walked down the stairs into the kitchen.
“You didn’t have to do the dishes, you know. I would’ve gotten them. Sorry, I had to leave, but if the kids don’t get to bed on time, neither one is in a good mood the next morning. Sometimes with me working all of the time and Randy being gone and Jim, I feel like it’s the only consistency they have,” she said.
I walked over to Julie and placed my hand on her shoulder to comfort her as I spoke
“You’re a good mama Jules. You work hard to provide for them, and you’re there all you can be,” I assured her.
“You know, Em. Things haven’t been easy since you’ve been gone. I work all the time and barely get to see my own kids. Mama is constantly worrying. Then Jim goes and pulls a stunt like tonight and doesn’t even make it to dinner.”
“I’m sorry, Jules. I wish I would’ve been here for you,” I said, feeling guilty for running away from everyone. Julie, Jimmy, Aunt Georgia-- they had never hurt me. Maybe I was more like Mama than I cared to admit. I had thrown my family down. I glanced up at the clock.
“Guess I had better be going,” I said to Julie.
“Wait, ain’t ya gonna tell Mama bye? She won’t want you goin’ home by yourself,” Julie warned.
“I know, Jules, but I am a big girl now, and I got a lot to do at the house. I’ll call Aunt Georgia later,” I said as I walked out the door.
“Well, at least let me give you a ride home,” Julie said, following me to the door.
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