“How can I help ye?” the man said as he placed a large dip of chewing tobacco in his jaw.
“I’m Amelia Smith. Em. My cousin Jimmy talked to you?”
“Oh, yeah, Jimmy. He sure is a crackerjack. That boy ain’t got a lick of sense, but man, he sure is funny!” Clyde said with a laugh.
“He said you had my car ready?” I asked, taking out my wallet from my purse.
“Oh, well, that‘s the thang. I didn’t have no number for ya, and well, you know Jimmy, he ain’t always one to answer the phone,” Clyde said, tucking his tobacco pouch back into his shirt pocket.
“It’s not ready?” I asked, feeling as though I might burst into tears. I definitely wasn’t prepared to stay in this town.
“Not yet, we are waitin’ on one more part to come in. I had to order it from the dealer, and they got it on backorder. Those things take a little longer. Then it will be as good as new. Should be soon,” Clyde said.
My heart pounded, and my head started to hurt. That would put me behind on leaving for Chicago. I had obligations!
“Isn’t there any way we can speed it up?” I pleaded.
“Nope, sorry. That’s just the way things are,” Clyde said, casually as he spat his tobacco into a Styrofoam cup beside him. Clyde clearly wasn’t one to get in a hurry from his carefree demeanor.
“You need a ride somewhere?” Clyde asked.
“No, thanks, I‘ll call Jimmy or Julie, but thank you.”
Suddenly, a tall, sandy-haired man with a goatee to match and broad shoulders came out of the back of the shop, wiping his hands on a rag.
“Well, I’ll be. Is that really you, Em?” the man asked with a smile.
My heart skipped a beat as I looked back at the man. He was wearing a faded blue button-up shirt and navy-blue pants, and his name tag read: Kevin. It was Kevin. My old ex. I wanted to run and hide, but he was now standing there right in front of me. I had no choice but to talk to him.
“Yes. It’s me,” I said, forcing a smile.
“I thought that was you. Wow! You’ve changed. Your hair’s straight and shorter, and you’re skinny as a rail.”
“Yes,” I said, not sure what to say.
“You look nice,” Kevin said as he stared a little too long.
“Thank you,” I said, still in shock.
“I didn’t know you were living around here. I thought you had moved away on a baseball scholarship. What happened?” I asked, trying to change the subject. I didn’t want to encourage Kevin, and besides, we had an audience. Rumors had a tendency to spread very quickly around here.
Another customer walked in, and Clyde excused himself.
“I only got to play a semester. Tore my rotator cuff. They tried to fix it, but each time it just got worse and worse. The next semester I laid out of school. Then I met my ex-wife Rachel and then had to straighten up and get a real job to support our baby.”
“Baby?” I asked with my heart racing, trying to take it all in.
“Yep. He’s five now. Good kid. Named him Brandon,” Kevin said, reaching into his wallet and showing me a picture of a young boy with sandy blonde hair who looked exactly like him.
“He is cute. Congratulations, Kev. I am happy for you,” I said.
“Yep. Brandon‘s the best thing that ever happened to me. If he hadn’t come along, I probably would have just laid out of school partyin’. But, because of him, I went back to school and became a mechanic. I like it and the pay ain’t all that bad either,” he said.
“That’s great,” I said, not really sure what else to say.
“Hey, I know your car ain’t ready, and I heard you tell Clyde that you would call Julie or Jimmy. There’s no need for that. Where ya headin’?” Kevin asked.
“I’m going to the little league game tonight, the Blue Devils against the Bandits,” I said, hoping that this would deter Kevin since the game was a distance from the shop.
“You’re kiddin’ me? Brandon’s got a game tonight, too, on the other field. My ex is dropping him off. Tigers vs. the Sharks,” Kevin said proudly. “I’ll give ya a ride, and we can catch up,” he said.
My hands shook. I didn’t know what to say to Kevin. I didn’t want to be in the car alone with him. It allowed for too many questions. Questions meant answers, and there was no way that I was prepared to tell Kev the real reason that I had left Lancaster and had moved to Chicago. But, Kev was determined to give me a ride, and I didn’t want to make a scene. I decided to go and just deal with whatever questions he asked of me. Besides, I had gotten pretty good over the years at changing the subject and dancing around any questions that pertained to me.
“Okay. If it isn’t any trouble,” I said.
“Ain’t no trouble at all,” Kevin replied as he went over to a sink and washed his face and hands.
“Clyde, I’m going to head out if it’s okay. Brandon’s got a game tonight, remember?” Kevin yelled to Clyde at the back of the shop.
“Yep. Tell him I said good luck,” Clyde yelled back.
I followed Kevin out to the parking lot. He drove a silver, full -size truck with an extended cab.
I stepped in. There was a sheet thrown over the seat of Kev’s side of the truck. I was sure it was to prevent the seat from getting dirty.
Kevin stepped in and started the truck; then we drove off.
“It’s good to see ya, Em,” he said as he nervously fiddled with his radio.
“You, too, Kev,” I said, wondering where he was going with this.
“I ain’t tryin’ to start nothing or anything, but why did you just up and leave, Em, without any warning or anything?”
I took a deep breath. The truth that I had for so long tried to avoid was right in front of me. I knew for certain now that Kevin couldn’t handle the real truth. I had to think of a good excuse and fast!
“I’m sorry, Kev. Mama and Roy were fighting all of the time, and well, you had that baseball scholarship. I didn’t want to tie you down. I just needed to get away,” I lied.
“But Em, no warning, no goodbye. I thought we had something,” he said.
“Kev, I’m sorry. I should have called you or let you know or something. But that was so long ago. We were young. We didn’t even know what love was.”
“You never know, Em. We might have learned what love was. But, you just up and left and never even gave it a chance.”
“Kev, I’m sorry. Really. But trust me. You wouldn’t want a relationship with me anyway. Most days, it is all that I can do to just get up and keep going since I lost Jordy. You deserve better than that, Kev,” I said softly. The truth was I had lost my heart the day Jordy died, but after the incident, that I had told no one about, my heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces.
“I think that girl I loved is still in there, Em. She’s just lost,” Kevin said.
“Sorry. But, I don’t have anything left to give. I wish it was different, but it just isn’t. Besides, I am going back to Chicago this weekend,” I said. It was evident that Kevin was trying to relive the past. To have closure for something that happened between us so many years ago. I knew now that I didn’t love Kevin and that I had never loved him. We were just teens who relied on one another to try and find the love that we both never had. Things were so bad at home that I would have done anything to try to escape and numb all of the pain.
“What? You’re leavin’ again? What about your mama and daddy’s farm? I heard Roy wants it?” Kevin asked.
“Yea, he does. He says it’s his,” I said.
“Jackson is working on settling things with Roy in court, and then I’m going back for good,” I said.
“I know you think you can trust Jackson, Em, but I’d be careful. You don’t know him like you think you do. He’s not the person he used to be,” Kevin said.
“Jackson, different? What do you mean?” I replied.
“Just be careful who you trust, Em. I wouldn’t want to see you hurt,” Kevin said, seeming genuinely concerned for me.
>
One thing about a small town, everyone seems to know everyone, and I found myself having to explain my actions much more than necessary. I dismissed Kev’s concern for my relationship with Jackson as being more about him than me.
“Em, I would watch out for Roy, too. Right out of college, I used to work for him. I’d heard that he was shady and treated his employees like dirt, but I had a baby and needed the money. Your mama would come into the shop, trying to hide her black eyes and bruises all of the time. He would take her upstairs and shout at her, and she would always come out cryin’ and lookin’ really upset. I think she was scared to death of that man.”
“Yeah, I know Kev. Roy didn’t treat her good at all,” I said as I thought of Mama and wondered how her life could have been different if she would have just moved away with me.
“But it was much more than that, Em. Some even think Roy somehow killed ya daddy, too, and I wouldn’t put it past him. Roy was good with cars, real good. I’m sure that he could make anything look like an accident,” Kevin said, not blinking an eye.
“Thank you, Kev, for the concern,” I said.
“I would get killed if anyone knew I told you this, but he sold drugs, too, out of the shop. He would deal with some of the meanest thugs around, and Roy didn’t even flinch. I was lucky to get outta there. If I wouldn’t have, I know I would’ve gotten tied up in his dirty work. You best leave Roy alone, Em. You go messin’ around where you don’t belong, and he’ll kill ya, Em. No one would ever prove it either,” Kevin said with a worried tone.
I know, Kev. Everything will be fine,” I said firmly.
“Okay, suit yourself, but you know if you need me, I’m here,” he said.
Kevin just shrugged his shoulders, knowing I had never been one to listen to what others had to say.
I thought of Mama. It was becoming clear that Roy had killed her.
My instincts told me to back off, but I had to push on for Mama, Daddy, Jordy, and Grandma.
Someone had to stand up to Roy, and I didn’t want to bring anyone else into this. It had to be me.
Kevin and I pulled up to the game, and the truck came to a stop.
“Well, here we are,” Kevin said as he put the truck in park.
“Thank you, Kev. I appreciate the ride,” I said with a smile.
I got out of the truck and saw Julie out of the corner of my eye. I felt instant relief.
“Guess, I had better go, Kev. I see Julie over there. I don’t want to miss Kyle’s game,” I said as I waved goodbye.
Kevin waved goodbye and walked toward the other field.
“Hi, Cuz! Where’s your car? What were you doin’ ridin’ with Kev? Somethin’ I don’t know about?” Julie said with a grin as she walked over toward me.
What was it with this town and everyone’s concern for my dating life?
“No. The shop is waiting for another part. Clyde said it would be a few more days. Kev’s working there and gave me a ride,” I said.
“I think he still has something for you, Cuz, and so does Jackson. Look at you, been in town less than a week, and already have all of the men fallin’ all over you,” Julie teased.
“Not hardly, and besides, I’m not even looking for a relationship,” I said.
“Don’t ya know that is what they like, hard to get?” Julie said jokingly.
“You’re crazy,” I said, laughing.
“C’mon. Aunt Georgia, Jimmy, Tiffany, and Katie already have us a seat,” Julie said as she wrapped her arm in mine and we walked toward the bleachers.
“Tiffany?” I asked.
“Yes, she’s Jim’s girlfriend for now,” Julie said, shaking her head.
“For now?” I asked.
“Yes, he doesn’t keep them for long. I’m glad you saved me. If I hear Tiffany talk about one more pair of shoes or purses, I might shoot myself. She knows every high- priced designer around. It’s not like you’re gonna get an in-depth conversation out of Jim, either, I guess. Mama’s had to reach for her inhaler more times than I can count,” Julie said.
I giggled.
I took a seat next to Tiffany and Jimmy trying to save Aunt Georgia and Julie from the aggravation.
“Hi, Cuz! Glad you could make it, this beauty here’s Tiffany,” Jimmy said as he sipped a drink of beer out of his plastic cup and gestured toward a tall woman that appeared to be no more 21 with long silky hair.
Tiffany extended her hand to me. She had bright red, long nails.
“Pleased to meet you, Em. Jim has told me a lot about you,” she said.
I cringed for a moment as I wondered what Jim had revealed, then I reminded myself that it was Jim. He wasn’t going to talk too much about anything other than himself to anyone.
“Em!” Katie exclaimed as she turned to notice me with a huge smile and crawled up into my lap with her doll.
“Oh, she is beautiful! What did you name her?” I asked, looking at Katie’s doll.
“I named her Em because she is pretty like you,” Katie said.
“Thank you, I think that’s a perfect name,” I said, kissing Katie’s head.
“Kyle is gonna win, right?” I asked, smiling widely at Katie.
“Yeah!” Katie said with a giggle as she clapped her hands and cheered with glee.
We watched as the players walked onto the field. Kyle waved to us proudly.
I waved back and smiled.
I looked out on the field as my heart seemed to stop. There in the field was Jackson wearing an ump helmet pads, and a chest guard squatted down on the ground smiling widely. The sun glistened off his tanned skin, and his gray eyes sparkled from underneath his ump helmet. No wonder he was the talk of the town. I cleared my throat and tried to gather my senses. In a couple of days, I wouldn’t have to worry about him, I thought. I didn’t like this feeling of losing control every time I was around Jackson.
The game went into overtime. The final score was 12- 10. The Blue Devils won, and Kyle got two home runs. The game was a nail bitter.
Afterward, to celebrate Kyle’s victory, we all went out for pizza.
Jackson walked into the restaurant soon after, and my heart melted as he turned to me and smiled as he made his way toward us.
“Good game, Kyle,” Jackson said with a smile.
“Thanks,” Kyle said as he took another bite of pizza.
“Jackson, have a seat, man. Ain’t no reason, you eatin’ by yourself, “Jimmy said, motioning for Jackson to sit down with us.
I glanced over at Jimmy and noticed that Tiff was straightening her hair and eyeballing Jackson as well.
“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Jackson said, looking at me and surprisingly not even looking at Tiff, who was now gawking at him.
“Impose. That’s crazy. You’re practically family, and besides, after the way you been helpin’ Em out, it’s the least we could do,” Jimmy said with a huge grin. It was apparent that Jim was totally oblivious to Tiff’s interest in Jackson.
Aunt Georgia and Julie also chimed in for Jackson to have a seat.
“Well, I guess I could,” Jackson said.
Julie got up and maneuvered just so that Jackson sat right beside me.
I could smell his cologne even after the game. His dark hair had a just out of bed look, but he was incredibly sexy. I took a drink of my water to try and compose myself. After all of these years, Jackson still had an effect on me. Every time I saw him, I was like that same schoolgirl whose heart skipped a beat whenever he was near.
Jimmy and Tiffany left soon after because Jimmy said that he had promised to take Tiffany to the movies.
“I’m not feeling well,” Aunt Georgia said about fifteen minutes later as she held her head.
“I’ll take ya home, Mama. C’mon, kids,” Julie said as she motioned for the kids.
“Em, can you catch a ride with Jackson?” Julie asked with a huge grin.
I made a face at her. I knew that she and Aunt Georgia were up to something.
“I’m okay. I�
��ll just go, too,” I said as I started to stand up from the chair.
“You’re fine; I’ll give ya a ride. It's no problem at all,” Jackson said with a smile.
“Thank you, but we gotta make a few stops,” I said.
Before I could even say another word, Aunt Georgia, Julie, and the kids bolted out the door.
“Sorry about that. I swear, I had no idea,” I said, slightly embarrassed.
“It’s fine. It will give us a chance to talk,” Jackson said, still sporting his megawatt smile.
Jackson and I finished eating and then walked outside.
I searched the parking lot for his bike.
“Oh, I went home and got my car,” Jackson said, apparently realizing that I had been looking for his motorcycle.
Jackson pointed towards a black Tahoe with tinted windows. We walked towards it, then he opened the door for me and closed it behind me.
Jackson got into the driver’s side, started the car, and we drove off.
Unlike, Kev, Jackson didn’t appear at all nervous. He didn’t even reach for the radio. It looked as though he had planned on talking.
I took a deep breath as I tried to compose myself. I told myself that our relationship was strictly business.
“Good game tonight, huh?” Jackson said casually.
“Yeah, I was glad to see Kyle do so well. He seemed really happy,” I said.
“He’s a good kid and a great player, too,” Jackson said.
“Speaking of the game, was that Kevin Howard that you came to the game with?” Jackson asked.
“Yeah, how‘d you know?” I asked, surprised. Had Jackson heard about Kevin and me? Not that it mattered, but if he had, I reasoned that it could be an interesting ride home.
“I was on the field and saw you two pull up,” Jackson said.
“Oh,” I said, wondering if he had been watching me.
“Didn’t the two of you used to be a thing?” Jackson asked, glancing out his window.
“Yeah, but that was years ago, and he just gave me a ride, and besides, I shouldn’t have to explain myself,” I said, mildly irritated.
“No, no. I’m not trying to upset you or anything, just worried is all,” Jackson said.
Butterfly Secrets Page 10