“No, I’ve got a first aid kit. We got our phones and windbreakers and life jackets. I’d say that we are good to go,” he said, tightening secure the straps holding the raft on his SUV.
“Listen, I know you probably think I am crazy for following some dream. I’m also aware a storm could hit, but if there’s even a chance that Mama is there Jackson, I have to go. My family needs peace.
“If you say May sent you a message, then she did,” Jackson said, placing his hand over mine and smiling.
“Thanks, that means a lot,” I said, smiling, back at him. Strangely, I didn’t even attempt to pull away from his hand over mine.
It felt good to be supported and believed for the first time ever. Since the age of 10, when I lost Grandma, I had dreamt of her. Over the years, Grandma had always left me little messages. I had seen Daddy’s death. I had seen Jordy’s. I had known that Mama would become pregnant with a baby boy by Roy and later lose it due to falling down the stairs from where he pushed her. I would never forget the night when I was only a teen, and I had told Mama that I knew she was pregnant and would lose the baby down a flight of stairs if she didn’t leave Roy. Mama got so angry and told Roy. Roy was livid and beat me until I had blisters from his belt. He had called me crazy and had threatened to put me in a mental institution if I ever said anything like that again. So, I learned to never speak of my dreams.
“You okay, Em?” Jackson asked as he touched my arm.
“Yeah. I was just thinking about Mama, Granny, and Jordy,” I said softly.
Jackson gently took my hand. “Listen, we’ll do all we can to find your Mama, and if she is there, I’ll make sure that Roy is prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I promise you that, Em,” he said empathetically.
I nodded and looked out the window deciding the less conversation, the easier it would be to break things off with Jackson when this was all said and done.
After an hour or so, we finally pulled up to a deserted, wooded area, and Jackson stopped the Tahoe. He got out a map and scratched his head. “This says this is it,” but it sure doesn’t much look like it anymore. Everything’s grown up. This river runs westward from the lake here. This place was popular once, but now it appears as though no one has been here in years. After college, I started rafting at a place about 45 miles north of here.”
“You still think you can find it?” I asked both worried and disappointed.
“Yeah. I’m sure it hasn’t changed that much, and I’ll bring my map and compass,” Jackson said as he lifted the raft off of the Tahoe and set it down.
Jackson got our gear, and we zipped up our windbreakers. He locked up the Tahoe and carried the raft as we made our way past the thick brush and vines, placed the raft in the water, and climbed inside.
We paddled out in the raft, and there was no one for miles around. I didn’t even see any sign of wildlife. It looked like one of those scenes in those scary movies where the couple is out in the woods alone, and no one is around, and all of a sudden, they are attacked by some slasher or something.
“Don’t be nervous, Em. I do this all of the time,” Jackson said as he placed his hand on my knee.
My heart raced. Each time he touched me; my heart pounded like a love-smitten teen.
We drifted for what seemed like hours, and it was getting darker the further out we went.
“I was hoping not to be out on this waters at dusk, but it’s too late to turn back now,” Jackson said.
I felt terrible for placing us both in danger, but I had to find Mama.
Jackson got out his map and compass.
“I just don’t understand. It should be right here. But, everything has grown up. I swear, Em, maybe we should wait and come back tomorrow,” Jackson said as he started to turn around the raft.
Tears formed in my eyes as I thought about my dream and Mama. I grabbed his hand to stop him.
“But Mama. We have to find her, Jackson. We have to. It’s the only way that we can get justice.”
Jackson sighed. “I don’t like putting you at risk, Em, I don’t. I don’t mind putting myself at risk, but you. I just couldn’t bear the thought,” he said, shaking his head. It was apparent that he was clearly struggling with the thought of us continuing on.
“We have to! We have to try,” I pleaded.
“Okay. It should be no more than another couple miles down the river,” he said, as he began to paddle downstream. The waters were getting rougher.
Suddenly, I jumped as the sound of thunder cracked and boomed, and the rain began to fall like tiny shards of glass. The sky was now dark and clouded, and it was difficult to see.
“I’m sorry. We should have gone back,” I said, fighting the horror and tears.
“It’s okay,” he said as the waters rushed by more swiftly. The small raft was rocking back and forth as it crashed against the rapids and was pushed from side to side.
Jackson forcefully dug the oars into the waters as he fought to guide us through the treacherous current.
My heart pounded in my chest. I hated storms. I thought of the storm the day Jordy died. I cringed as I thought of Mama somewhere on these very waters as she struggled for air and fighting for her life. Was my life going to end here, too?
My heart started racing, my head felt light, and I was finding it difficult to breathe. I was sure that I was going into a full-fledged panic attack. Jackson turned his penetrating eyes toward me.
“It will be fine. I won’t let anything happen to you. Breathe,” Jackson said in a confident tone.
“Watch out!” I yelled as a huge branch hit him square in the head, knocking him out.
Jackson fell backward in the raft as he lay there, seeming lifeless.
Panicked, I bent down over Jackson when he did not move. Suddenly, another rapid crashed hard against the raft. I nervously grabbed the oars, sobbing as the raft rocked against the rapids, and I tried to guide us down the river.
“Grandma, Jordy, if you are there, we need you. Help me, please!!” I yelled fighting back the tears and glancing from time to time at Jackson, who lay there bleeding. I knew if I let go of the oars to care for him, we would be dead for sure.
I felt dizzy as though I might pass out, and my stomach felt queasy. My pulse raced, and my heart was pounding full speed like a train about to go off the tracks.
Suddenly, the thunder cracked once again, and a huge rapid crashed against the raft once more. Both oars were swept out of my hands, and I was thrown to the side as I held tightly to Jackson, holding him and crying and stroking his head as he lay there motionless.
The waters threw the raft left to right, and the lightning lit up the sky all around us. I was sure that we both were going to die.
I continued holding on for dear life and to Jackson.
“Jackson, I’m so sorry. Please, please don’t die on me! I can’t lose you! I can’t. I just got you back,” I said, sobbing over him as the rain poured down harder upon us.
As the cold rain unforgivingly fell down on Jackson and me and he lay bleeding in my arms, I realized that I loved this man. As hard as I tried to fight it. As much as I told myself that it wasn’t real, every emotion in me screamed that I couldn’t allow him to die. For the first time ever, I had felt loved and supported.
I gently rubbed his head as I tenderly kissed it and cried.
“Sorry, Mama, Grandma, and Jordy,” I whispered as emotional pain filled my whole body like hot, molten lava.
It just didn’t seem fair after all this time of dodging love. I had finally found someone, and now this.
“Why, Grandma?” I pleaded, holding Jackson tightly as the water smacked against the raft.
Another rapid crashed against the raft, and we sailed into the air. The rough water pushed and threw us around like paper flying in the wind. We were helpless. Our lives were no longer in our hands.
I held tighter to Jackson as flashes of my life went through my mind. Images of Granny, Jordy, Mama, and Daddy went through my head. S
urprisingly, I saw images of Jackson there with me the day Jordy died, the gum he gave me to cheer me up, our first kiss, and Jackson holding me in his arms. It was at that moment I realized that Jackson was the only one I had ever really loved. I knew that now and he would never get to hear me say it. I had spent most of my time putting up walls and trying to shut him out, and he would never know how much I really cared.
“I love you, Jackson.” The words just fell out like the rain that poured on us. I did love Jackson. It was surprising, even to me.
Another rapid tore into the raft as I kissed Jackson on the lips and prepared to die.
CHAPTER 19- MAMA
I slowly opened my eyes. There was stillness. The storm had passed. The treacherous water had finally finished having its way with us, and somehow I was still alive.
The last thing I remembered was the raft being violently slung into the air, seeing a bright light, and Grandma May cradling both Jackson and me.
I shook my head in disbelief, wondering if I had a concussion and was now imagining things.
Nervously, I let go of Jackson and bent down over him as I felt his neck for a pulse. To my relief, there was one, and I could hear him breathing.
Finally, after several minutes, Jackson began to moan.
“Oh, my God, Jackson. You’re okay,” I said, crying and kissing his forehead.
Jackson opened his eyes and gave a slight grin.
His head was bruised, and he had blood on his forehead and lip.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You okay?” Jackson asked slowly.
“You’re the one hurt, and you are asking about me,” I said touched by this kind man’s heart.
He rubbed his head as he lay there and looked around as though he was trying to decide what may have happened. “I dreamt I had lost you, Em. I dreamt that we were lost and that you....were gone,” he said with tears in his eyes.
“I’m here, Jackson. I’m here,” I said softly as I gently wiped the blood from his lip and head.
He squeezed my hand tightly and shot me a smile that made my heart melt. I was so glad that he was alive, and almost losing him made me realize just how much I did care for him.
He licked his dry lips and spoke, “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I would’ve lost you, Em,” he said.
“You don’t have to worry about that. I am here,” I said, smiling back at him as tears streamed down my face.
Suddenly, Jackson pulled me down to him and gave me a long and passionate kiss. My heart pounded, and my pulse raced. His kisses were the kind that people wrote about, others dreamt of, but that most never experience.
He finally let go and grabbed his side.
“Oh no, Jackson, did the tree get your side, too?”
“I’ll be fine, but can you help me take this off?” he said, pointing to the rip in his jacket.
“Sure,” I said.
Slowly, I unzipped Jackson’s windbreaker. There, through his shirt, his side was bleeding.
Carefully, I unbuttoned his shirt, slowly, undoing each button. His dark skin glistened in the moonlight. The clouds had now lifted, and the light of the moon radiated on the waters. I unbuttoned the last button. His stomach and chest were well defined, and his arms muscular. It was clear that rafting and rowing had kept him in good shape.
My heart raced at the sight of this rugged but also kind man.
I took off his shirt, and he reached for it and ripped it, creating a makeshift bandage. He sat up, and I wrapped his shirt around him, tying it tight around the wound.
“Thank you, that should do it,” he said and then winced as he stood.
Jackson smiled at me appreciatively, then he put his jacket back on and zipped it up.
“Good thing you know first aid. I might need it if we get in any more of these storms or in case you try to shoot me with that gun again,” Jackson said jokingly.
I lightly tapped his shoulder.
“That’s not funny, Jackson. You had me scared to death,” I said.
“I’m okay, Em. Just glad that we made it out alright.”
I thought back to the rapid waters, Jackson fighting the current, me fighting the waves, and how the oars had been torn from my hands. Now we were washed up near some land in the middle of what seemed like nowhere, but safe. Grandma and Jordy had really heard me. They had listened to my cries and brought us to safety.
Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I saw the edge of an old sign that had been covered by vines that read “Bay.” Nervously, I walked over to the sign.
Jackson walked over to help. We pulled the remainder of the vines away.
Jackson used his hand and wiped off the thick layer of mud covering it.
The sign read: “Winnepeake Bay. “
My heart almost stopped.
“This is it! This is it. This is the sign that Grandma showed me in my dream,” I said with tears in my eyes.
“I think it is!” he said.
The moon was peeking from the clouds as it seemed to send light to something shiny.
We became silent and stood frozen as both of our eyes turned to the distance.
Along the bank was a piece of a Mustang emblem, peeping slightly from beneath the water.
“Em, a Mustang is supposed to be what Roy wrecked that day. I- I think that is the car, Em. That means your....”
I fell to my knees and started sobbing.
“That means Mama’s in that car,” I said, finishing his sentence.
Jackson sat down on the ground beside me and held me in his arms tightly against his chest as he rubbed my back and kissed my forehead.
“It’s okay, Em. I’m here. It’s okay,” he whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair.
I had seen Mama in the car in my dream. Grandma had shown me the sign. I knew Mama was dead. However, nothing prepared me for the harsh reality down below us, just a few hundred feet away, Mama’s body was deteriorating. Images of her bruised, bloody and broken body flashed through my mind as I thought of her suffering and how scared she must have been in the waters as she died.
“He killed her, Jackson! He beat Mama up and left her to die in the water all alone. He wanted people to think that she had drowned, but she didn’t,” I said, crying so hard I could barely speak.
Jackson continued to comfort me as I cried.
I pulled away from his embrace.
“Tell me, Jackson, that you will make Roy pay, that he won’t get away with this, too?” I asked with a look of worry.
“He’ll pay, Em. We just have to prove that Roy had already....um well, you know,” he said, struggling with his words as though the thought of speaking them would cause me too much pain as he grabbed my hand.
“Prove that he already had almost killed her?” I said, finishing his words.
He nodded.
I let go of Jackson and headed toward the edge of the bank.
“Em! Wait! What are you doing?” he asked as he held his side and walked beside me.
“I’m going after her. I’m going after Mama. I can’t let her lie down there alone any longer,” I said, with tears in my eyes.
“No, Em, you can’t. It’s too dangerous!”
“Stay here. I’ll be fine,” I said stubbornly.
Just about that time, I had already stepped down the bank. I felt my foot jerk and slip on a patch of mud as my body tilted forward, and I was sure I was going to fall off the steep bank.
Suddenly, I felt a tug at my hand as Jackson pulled me back up the bank and out of harm’s way.
I fell down on the ground instead, and so did Jackson.
Jackson stood up and reached for my hand to pull me up from his side that wasn’t bleeding.
He lifted me to him and kissed me again hard and passionately.
“Don’t ever scare me again like that, Em. I want to find your Mama, too, but that bank is dangerous. You could have gotten yourself killed,” he ordered.
“Are you okay?” I asked, noticing more blood seeping out from
his shirt.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Em. Just glad you are okay.”
Jackson pointed further up ahead.” If I am right, that used to be a trail.” He walked over to a large branch and tore it down. He reached into his ripped windbreaker and pulled out a knife.
“A knife?” I asked with a puzzled expression.
“I used it to cut the rope and fishing line. Just so happened to have it with me. Years ago in college, we got hung up in some net. I used it to cut us free. It saved our lives. Since then, I’ve always carried it when I go out on the water,” he said.
Jackson whittled a sharp point on the edge of the stick and handed it to me.
“Here, it will help you climb better,” he said.
“Is there anything you can’t do, Jackson Roderick?” I asked.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said with a wide smile.
“You are bleeding from your side, you need a doctor, and here you are trying to flirt with me,” I teased.
He smiled confidently and nodded.
Jackson then pulled off another limb and whittled down the end. We walked up the bank as Jackson used his stick to help him walk and to clear a path for us.
We finally arrived at the top.
“You okay?” He asked with a serious expression.
I nodded.
Jackson took out his phone from his windbreaker.
“Will it work after it was flooded in that water?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s a special kind of military phone. It’s made to withstand anything,” he said.
I felt relieved that he had seemed to think of everything. It was nice, for once, not having to worry. Even injured, Jackson was caring for my needs.
Jackson called the sheriff and gave him our location.
A few hours later, the sheriff arrived with two deputies, an ambulance and the coroner.
“What on earth were you two doin’ out here in the first place? This place hasn’t been in operation in years. You are lucky I knew another way in this place,” the sheriff scolded.
“We found Mama, Sheriff,” I said.
“Are you sure? I mean, how? Jackson, I thought you had more sense than this. I should arrest you both for ignorance alone,” the sheriff said in a huff.
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