"Well then you won't care that I think you look ravishing today. That I want to eat you until you scream and fuck you until you pass out."
I swallowed hard. Yes I did care to hear that. It sent a searing heat straight between my legs.
"No."
"Very well. I'll remove it from the menu."
"You didn't tell me it was a possibility."
"It isn't anymore." He still hadn't looked at me, his eyes fixed on the food in front of him as he gradually cleared his plate. My food was already gone; it was the first meal I'd had today. "Do you have any questions for our prisoner?"
"Are you going to tell me why you did it?" I asked, turning to face the man in the corner as Tony brought me in a glass of wine.
"Fuck you," he rasped, then spat a mouthful of blood on the ground.
"Tony?" Elias called before he'd left. "You can take him back. He is to be punished for using profanity in front of a lady, and for spitting in her chambers. You can send Jack in to clear that up."
"Yes, sir."
The prisoner was removed, leaving a trail of blood behind him that Jack quickly cleared up.
"What happened to doing this together?" I asked, trying to touch a part of Elias that wasn't sheathed in steel armour. "This ice monster isn't going to persuade me to kill."
"I'm not playing your games. I know what you're doing. You kill him or you don't, that's your choice. I don't have a choice but to do this and I'm not interested in talking until you do as you've been told."
He was baiting me. I'd asked for my Elias to return, to try a different tact. It was selfish, because I still had no intention of committing murder, but he played, too. He denied me the man I wanted, but he offered the possibility of him as a reward.
"How am I supposed to do it?"
"Kill him?" He didn't look at me, but when I nodded he continued. "However you choose to."
"Why are you making me kill him before I've had answers? Don't you think I deserve them?"
Elias moved his chair so it rested against the wall. Crossing one leg over the other, he placed his locked hands on his knee.
"He doesn't have a reason so you won't get answers. He killed them because he could, and because he felt like it. He's a sexual sadist, Ashford. He killed them and got off, intending to kill you. If he hadn't been so caught up in the release, you would have run out of time. That's it. That's all you'll get."
"That's what you say."
"That's what I know."
"I'd like to go to bed," I said, standing from the table and making my way to the single rickety bed in the corner. That had been added some time last week. "You can leave now. You've got your answer for the day. I'm not doing it."
"As you wish. Tony and Jack will be in to clear the table." He stood and crossed the room to the door. "Lola will be in with some tea."
"See you tomorrow."
I laid down, pulled the blanket over me and turned away from him to face the wall of the cell. I wouldn't let him win. Everything we had was based on to and fro, and I wasn't prepared to fro.
"Goodnight, Ashford."
I thought I heard sadness in his voice before the sound of the door closing filled the room and silence descended. I let a tear fall; not for me, not for my situation or the man whose life I knew I would take eventually. I cried for Elias, because I felt his conflict and compulsion to come back to me. I cried because I couldn't let him.
It was dark when I woke up. That wasn't unusual, I was underground in a dungeon; but I was always accompanied by dim lights...a dim light—a weak low wattage bulb in a cage-style lamp fixed to the wall by the door. It was off and I was in total darkness with not a shred of light. I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face as I breathed rapidly and tried my hardest to see something.
"Trixie..."
Elias was here, which gave reason to the panic although his voice was strangely soothing.
"Elias," I choked, raising my hand to cover my throat as I fought to breathe past the tension.
"I had to see you."
The irony wasn't lost on me; that he'd chosen to see me in the pitch black of night.
"Did you turn the light off?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Why?"
Pause. A thick, heavy pause as I tried to work out who had joined me and if I should be afraid of his motives.
"Dramatic effect."
There was a hint of humour in his voice and I prayed to God it was my Elias who had returned, and not the monster I'd known for weeks just playing games with me.
"If we can't see each other, I can pretend I wasn't here."
"Where should you be?"
"In a club, watching women drink each other's blood as another sits on my lap and fucks the urge to join them away."
My breath hitched and I recoiled as a heavy body landed on mine; my hands were pinned above my head and Elias covered me, pressing his chest to mine and squeezing his knees into my hips.
"That sounds dangerous. Why are you here instead?"
"Because I choose you."
"Tonight."
I couldn't hide the sadness in my voice no matter how hard I tried. Elias' finger and thumb pinched my chin and he held me gently as he tipped my head towards him.
"It's better than never."
"For you. You said it, you can pretend you were never here. I can't and I won't. This might be a meaningless act for you, but it isn't for me."
"Trixie, I..."
I silenced him by arching my back and closing the distance between us, pressing my lips to his and sighing when his tongue sought out mine. We fought and battled, his teeth nipping my bottom lip, before his tongue dived in to devour me. I didn't care that it would break me a little more, threatening to finally tear me in two until the damage was irreparable. I didn't care that I would be the one who got hurt, the one who was punished every way possible for the reason why this was forbidden. I would pay for cracking the shell of the monster who was tasked with handling GRIT's female prisoner. I would give him what he needed because I didn't believe this was what he wanted. I would give him me because I refused to punish him for something he had no choice over. I would let him have his fill, find a distraction and claim his release, because I would find a way to kill him with kindness. I would find a way to ruin him with compassion and sneak into his soul, commandeering it with whatever he needed to forget who he was and become mine.
His hands moved to my face and he stroked his thumbs over my cheeks, swallowing the moan that escaped me when he ground his pelvis into mine. He was hard beneath tight trousers, but his skin was soft, burning my hands when I untucked his shirt to clutch his waist.
"Tonight, okay?" he whispered as he pulled back and his mouth ghosted a trail of kisses along my jaw to my neck. "We can have tonight."
"We can have tonight," I said, gliding my hands lower, beneath his belt to slide my hands over his firm ass.
Elias breathed a sigh of relief, as if he'd been waiting for my rejection. I wouldn't give it to him. I wouldn't allow his mind to ruin this for us, for me, and I wouldn't let my own weakened mind allow me to deny what I needed from him. Connection. A connection so strong, I wasn't the only one who forgot who I was. The darkness let me escape the dungeon and take us anywhere. I could imagine we were anywhere else and not the place I'd been sentenced to, until I'd performed a task I refused to do. He wouldn't matter tonight; nothing mattered but us. Elias edged back, unzipping his trousers before sliding my dress higher, exposing my naked torso to him as the draft that seeped in through the cracks in the door hissed over my sensitive flesh. His fingers brushed my stomach as his thumb sought out my clit; my body jerked in response and I moaned something that sounded like a plea.
"I've got you, baby," he whispered, sliding his thumb through the lips of my pussy to coat me in my own desire for him. "I've got you."
"I don't want you to leave," I muttered, giving into the weakness that threatened the hold I wanted over him. "I want to see the stars."
His mouth covered mine, sealing a connection that was temporary yet everlasting. He thrust into me, sheathing himself in my need for him and I clenched around him, crying out his name as I gripped his ass and used my hold on him to urge him on.
The sound of a key in the lock, and the chains securing me in my prison cell, woke me from a restless sleep. I moved to drag my dress over the sticky residue on my stomach as the door eased open and artificial light flooded into the room. I swiped at my eyes and blinked rapidly as I adjusted. Elias hadn't turned the light back on when he left last night and I'd begun to wonder if I would see light again.
"Good morning, Miss Ashford," Tony said with his hand on the door as he held it open. "It's time for your bath. Mr Blackwood has plans for you today."
Was I getting out of the prison? Would I be allowed to venture further than the route I took to my room each day to shower? A spark of hope flared somewhere deep inside me, that maybe last night had changed things for Elias. With a shy smile I stood from my bed and followed Tony through the corridor, through the office and out into the lobby where Lola waited for me. She curtseyed, like I was a woman of high status and not the filthy scum I'd become during my time in the dungeon. Even showers didn't make me feel clean; I slept on a rotting mattress listening to the sound of rats scurrying around the passages of Sector 1, and I spent my days singing songs and imagining works of art to keep a grasp on the world outside the estate.
"Would you like a dress or jeans, Miss Ashford?" Lola asked when I'd stepped out of the bathroom in my robe.
I shrugged. I didn't care; I just wanted to know what Elias' plans were for me. Lola set out the dress on the bed and left the room to wait outside while I got ready.
She led me down the stairs. My heart drummed against my ribs and I locked my hands together in front of my body as a pair of black shoes and black trousers came into view. My heart skipped and continued its heavy rhythm when I thought about spending the day with Elias, but it wasn't him waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.
"Good morning, Miss Ashford," William Tate said when I stepped into the foyer and took his proffered hand.
He placed a kiss to the back of mine before releasing it.
"I'm spending the day with you?"
He nodded. "Yes. Elias thought it might put things in perspective for you."
I heard Lola scurry away as I eyed William with suspicion.
"What does that mean?"
"There's a car waiting." He wasn't going to answer me. I was done with surprises. I sighed. "Come on."
I switched my mind off and let my feet make the decision for me. They chose to follow William out of the house and to the back of the car, where Percy held the door open. I slid straight in the back and William joined me.
"We're not doing anything GRIT related, are we?" I asked as the car pulled away from the drive and we began our journey.
"No."
"So what are we doing?"
"We're staying in the City." That I could have figured out myself. I'd never been outside it. "I'm going to give you a tour."
"A tour? I live here; I've lived here my whole life. I doubt there's anything you could show me I've never seen before. And how will it put things in perspective?"
William chuckled and straightened his jacket. "It's called fun, Trixie. You look like you could use some."
Releasing a sigh and biting my top lip to conceal my smile, I laid my head back and closed my eyes.
"I could."
I'd forgotten how invigorating and exciting London could be during the day. Sure, we still had to worry about crime; you could be robbed or assaulted in the daylight, but it wasn't like the night time. There were no shadows to hide in, no way to turn a cold shoulder on the madness; no way to pretend you couldn't see it. The sun made everything more forbidden—more beautiful but disallowed. You couldn't mistake someone's eye colour, or miss a blemish on their face that rendered them identifiable. The people I walked amongst as we strolled through Spitalfields Market could have emerged at night. They could have been brave enough to continue to threaten us once the sun had set, but I had no way of knowing. We stopped at Le Swine for a bacon sandwich, ketchup in mine and brown sauce for William. We strolled past market stalls and I stopped to buy beaded bracelets. William stopped to look at a rail of t-shirts, home-pressed with designs from the artist running the stall.
"You're not confined to shirts?" I asked as he browsed the selection and pulled out a white t-shirt with a skull design.
"Not when I'm off the clock."
I glanced at him and felt the sadness seep in to steal any ideas I'd had of having fun today. William was in a suit, black from head to toe. Which meant he was earning from this outing.
"Hey, I'm not working today. I came straight from work."
I nodded. I didn't believe him. I didn't believe anyone anymore, and I didn't know who I could trust. Right now I believed William was covering for the mistake he'd just made of stirring my defences. Right now he was saying whatever he thought I needed to hear. I just needed to hear the truth.
"I'm serious. I was working last night and it's a habit. Here." He handed over some cash to the guy behind the table. "I'll prove it."
He slipped out of his jacket, flung it over my shoulder and I watched, frozen on the spot, as he untucked his shirt, unbuttoned it one by one and pulled it off. I wasn't the only one shocked; women slowed, their perusing paces resorted to a sedate saunter. Some downright stopped, including a handful of men, of varying ages, as William Tate, the product of a recipe for the perfect catalogue, underwear and high-fashion model, undressed. His golden body caught the sun, his firm chest drowning the harsh architecture around us. His wild hair blew in the breeze as he tore the tag off the t-shirt and pulled it over his head. When it was settled, his muscles contained, he fixed his hair and shot me a wicked grin.
"See? If I were being paid, I wouldn't have been able to move off-schedule."
"Unless you like breaking the rules."
He took a step closer. Far too close. It gave me goosebumps and the hair on the back of my neck prickled for all the wrong reasons.
"Maybe I do."
Clearing my throat, I handed him his jacket and took a step away from him, giving him a wide berth as I continued along the aisle of stalls.
My thoughts strayed to Elias. Even now, when I knew what he thought, who he was, and what he believed in, I'd never felt safer than I had with him. Not even with William, who I'd known as a child and, as an adult, he was on the approved list of people to spend time with me. I missed my lion. I missed his warmth and even his coolness.
"Slow down, Trixie," William called as he caught up with me and handed me the paper bag with my bracelets in. "You dropped this."
I had, when his physical prowess stunned me, and everyone else in Spitalfields.
"Thanks," I mumbled, grabbing the bag and refusing eye contact. "Are we staying here for the day?"
"You don't like it here? I thought you'd want to be around people after so long alone."
"You know where I've been?"
"On the estate." He laughed. "Probably locked up since Elias has spent a lot of time working on Sector stuff."
"How does it work?" I asked to avoid the subject of my incarceration. "Your business arrangement?"
William thought for a moment as a mother rushed past us with a pushchair and two more children in tow.
"I run the bank with Ambrose. That stuff is legit, it's an honest bank. We provide loans, we make investments, we keep hold of people's money. Elias uses the office for official business outside of the estate."
"GRIT business."
"Yes. I only know the basics of what it entails, but I guess you could call it the archive."
"Why isn't that on the estate?"
"It's just the way it is. I
t's where GRIT once operated from and although they've expanded to estates and buildings around the city, the office has remained the central point, where everything comes together."
I understood that; I knew about Elizabeth's boys and their acquisition of the bank. I imagined that very office was where they first created the establishment and I understood that it was tradition that kept it there today.
"I get it," I said, not wanting to ask any more questions and touch the nerve of something William wasn't entitled to know.
"You should just do it."
We were in a small bistro for a lunch of British chicken broth. I had a glass of wine and William drank from a bottle of London brewed cider.
"Do what?"
"I know enough to know what you've been tasked with."
"Oh?"
I wanted to call his bluff. I wanted to know what he knew before I disclosed what I did. Why would he know what I'd been ordered to do? Who would have told him I was supposed to kill a man in vengeance I'd only just gotten a taste for?
"The murderer." He shrugged. "Sometimes Elias and Trace talk and forget I'm there."
They'd been talking about my task. They'd spoken about it in front of William and he knew I was weak. He knew I couldn't do it and I didn't know if that made him a friend or foe with my fears.
"Why should I do it?"
I still wouldn't tell him what it was, just in case he'd only heard half a story.
"Because you'll be free." He waved his arm out, gesturing at the restaurant around us. "You'll be able to do this every day."
"Before today I haven't been out of the estate for months. Before the task, I was told I'd have to stay. Doing what I've been asked doesn't guarantee freedom."
"But isn't it worth the risk to find out?"
I shrugged and returned to my broth.
Was it?
"I don't want to do it." I paced the office in front of my father's desk. "I refuse to stab, twist the knife, and then throw salt on the wound."
"It's time to move this along," Ambrose said, his back straight against the chair as his fingers drummed on what he'd just tried to offer me. "I don't like this any more than you do-"
Elias (GRIT Sector 1) Page 32