by Mari Carr
“I’m tired of being numb, Kevin.”
His kind eyes told her he understood, shared the sentiment. He grasped her hand, dragging her into a copse of trees. It was ten o’clock on a Monday morning. The majority of Hope Falls was at work, which meant the area near the river was deserted. Regardless, Kevin found a secluded spot in the woods, losing no time pressing her up against a tree.
Neither of them spoke. Instead, they greedily grabbed what they wanted. He unzipped her jeans, shoving his hand inside to stroke her clit. She gasped at his hasty, hot assault, then mimicked his actions. Releasing his belt and opening his pants, she stroked his hard cock with a tight grip, dragging her hand along the velvety flesh, enjoying his soft grunts when she hit just the right spot.
“I’m going to fuck you, Rory. Right here. Right now.”
“Do it.”
Her leather jacket protected her back from the bark of the tree as Kevin stripped one leg of her jeans off and pushed his own pants to his knees. He pulled her panties to the side and entered her with one hard, deep thrust.
“Fuck,” he muttered, drawing the word out in pure bliss.
She tugged his head down to hers, biting his lower lip before resuming their hungry kisses. Kevin shoved in and out, brutally, beautifully. She came hard within minutes, pushing him over with her. She’d never been taken with so much passion. So much need.
“Still on the Pill?” he asked, even though he made no move to withdraw from her body. Not that it mattered. He’d already come inside her.
It wasn’t the first time they’d forgotten the condom, even though—when they were in their right minds—they usually managed to remember.
“Yes.”
As his cock softened, he pulled away. Then he bent over to pull her jeans back up. She foolishly looked around for something to clean herself with. She wasn’t sure what she expected to find in the middle of the woods.
Once she was dressed again, he straightened his own clothes relatively quickly. It only required pulling his pants up and tucking his shirt back in. She grinned when she realized his tie was still securely in place.
“All buttoned up again?” she teased when she saw his quizzical look.
She expected him to laugh, so she was concerned when he frowned. “I didn’t bring you out here to…” He paused, then ran his hand over his hair. “You fuck me up, Rory.”
They’d come out here to talk.
They should have talked first.
Guilt suffused her, his words feeling like a punch to the stomach. She’d hurt him. And she hadn’t even told him how deeply sorry she was for that.
“Kevin—” she started.
“No,” he cut her off. “No. You know what. I can’t do this right now. I think we should head back to the house.”
“But I wanted to tell you—”
“Later, Rory,” he interrupted her again. “I just need a little bit of time to…” He paused and she could see his frustration. God, it was almost tangible.
She didn’t have the right to make any demands on him. Whatever they did now, it was going to be on his terms. He deserved that from her after the way she’d hurt him.
“Okay,” she said, not making him say the rest.
They walked back to the motorcycle and rode home in silence. Once they got there, Kevin quickly said his goodbyes, returning to work.
Rory resumed her usual spot on the couch, in front of the TV, but she didn’t bother to turn it on. Instead, she found herself falling into a memory. One she had pushed away for an entire year.
She had fallen into a funk after the band broke up and she started touring on her own. After a rather disappointing four-month run headlining for a flailing upstart band, she’d returned to Hope Falls to lick her wounds.
Kevin had taken her to JT’s Roadhouse for a drink, determined to cheer her up.
*
“Honest to God, Kevin, I’m just so frustrated. I mean, it took years to build up The Road Rebels’ rep, to get the band to a place where we were just starting to make a real name for ourselves. Now it feels like I’m back at square one.”
Kevin took a sip of beer. “You’ve gotta have a big enough fan base to make it on your own. I mean, you were the lead singer of the band, the face, the one everyone knew.”
She shook her head. “I have just enough fans to land me gigs like the one I just finished. I’ve taken at least ten giant steps back. I’m getting too old for this shit.”
“You’re not old, Rory.”
“Believe me, in the music business, I’m ancient. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just spinning my wheels, when in reality, I’ve reached my peak and this is it.”
Kevin frowned and took her hand in his. “Stop it. I never want to hear you say that again. You’re amazing, Rory. One of the best performers I’ve ever seen. You told me once that the music business was one percent talent and ninety-nine percent luck.”
She laughed. “I’m pretty sure I was wasted and feeling sorry for myself when I spouted that bullshit.”
“All I’m saying is, if anyone deserves that superstar status, it’s you. You just have to hang in there a little bit longer. I know it feels like you’re starting over, but you’re not. And it sounds like you’ve lined up some cool stuff. You’ve got that big music competition, February Stars, right?”
“That’s almost a year away. In the meantime…”
“In the meantime, what?”
She sighed and toyed with the label on her beer bottle. “I have no idea.”
“You could stay here. In Hope Falls. Take a real vacation, a break from the road.”
She crinkled her nose. “And do what? Hang out at Two Scoops all day? Ice skate on King’s Pond? Pray the Hope Falls Twin Cinemas gets an R-rated movie occasionally?”
He scowled. “You know, this place isn’t as backwoods as you think. If you’d stick around more than five minutes, I’m pretty sure you’d love it.”
She shrugged off his comment. “I’m a big-city girl through and through.”
“You could stay for some other reason,” he said after a few minutes.
Rory tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
He ran his thumb over the hand he was still holding. “Me. Stay here with me. Let’s give this thing between us a real chance.”
“A chance for what?”
He leaned closer and, for the first time since she’d met Kevin, she actually felt uneasy, scared. He’d never been a threat to her lifestyle. In fact, he’d always been her biggest supporter, traveling to see her whenever she was playing a show close enough to Hope Falls.
She’d destroyed her band, taking up with Eddie in hopes of finding a relationship that would fit into her life. Because Kevin didn’t.
“Do I really need to spell this out for you, Rory? I’m crazy about you. No, more than that. I’m in—”
“Wait,” she called out loudly, attempting to drown out the word love. It didn’t work. He still said it and she heard it.
He paused for just a moment before she caught a flash of anger in his eyes. “I’ve been waiting. For six years.”
It was the worst possible thing he could have said to her. “You’ve been waiting for me?”
He seemed to recognize his mistake, but she realized his concern wasn’t over saying the wrong thing. It was over saying what he truly felt aloud to her.
“Jesus, Kevin. When have I ever given you any reason to think that I’m just going to up and quit one day, then come here to live out some happily ever after with you in Hope Falls?”
“Never. You’ve never said that, and to be honest, I know I’m throwing this at you from left field, but the truth is, I didn’t like it when you were with Eddie. I hated every minute of it. And when I stopped to think about why, all I could come up with is you’re supposed to be with me, Rory. We’re perfect together. And if you’d try to rein in this freak-out moment you’re engaging in, you’d see that and admit it. If not to me, then at least to yourself.”
“I’m not freaking out.” Actually, she was. Big time. Because she’d already figured out that Kevin was the perfect guy for her. Just like she’d forced herself to admit, despite that fact, they were never going to work out. She spent at least forty-six weeks out of the year on the road and he was the epitome of a homebody. She was fast lane and he was dirt road.
And even as she thought all of that, she knew it was nothing more than excuses.
“I’ve built my whole life around my music, Kevin. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. All I know. What we have is perfect. Because we’re not trying to force it into something that can’t work. If we turned this into a long-distance relationship, you’d come to resent me and the time I’m away. God. I’m always away. And I’d wither up and die in this environment.”
“Seems to me you set your own schedule. You’re the one making it so grueling. Ease up. Take the vacation and give us a shot.”
“I can’t.” The words fell out too fast, too easy.
Kevin studied her face for a long time without speaking. He didn’t need to. She knew what she’d done. With just two words, she’d destroyed it all.
“Then I can’t do this anymore.”
She fought like the devil not to let him see how his words cut through her like razor blades. “Okay. You’re right. It’s not fair of me to,” she swallowed down the tears threatening, “ask you to wait.”
“You didn’t ask that, Rory. But as long as this continues, there’s always going to be a part of me sitting here waiting for you, hoping something will change. And that’s not fair to either of us.”
“I guess this is it then,” she said, forcing every single painful word out of her.
“I guess it is.”
*
Rory wiped the tears from her eyes, struggling to pull herself back together. She had to pick Angel up from preschool in less than an hour and the poor baby had seen—and shed—enough tears these past couple of weeks.
Even so, she sat there and acknowledged that she’d made the biggest mistake of her life that night. But how could she convince Kevin that she’d come to that realization mere minutes after he had driven her back to Callie’s house last year and dropped her off?
Even now, she got the sense he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, watching for her packed suitcase to appear in the hallway as she headed back out on the road. After six years of her constant goodbyes, how could he trust that this time would be different?
Chapter Four
Kevin sat in his car in the driveway, but made no move to get out as he looked at the house he’d come to consider his home in the past month. More and more of his things had found their way into Callie’s house. He and Rory, through tacit agreement, had simply remained there, living together, because neither of them wanted to uproot Angel from her beloved home.
Rory had moved into Callie’s room the day after their tumultuous trip to the river on her motorcycle, and he’d claimed the spare room. Neither of them discussed what happened in the woods. Hell, they hadn’t even had the talk he’d intended to initiate that day.
It had been four weeks since Callie’s death, and the two of them were still tiptoeing around Angel and each other. They were letting things happen without bothering to take control of the situation. And while Kevin found that frustrating as hell, he didn’t know how to change direction. Which meant they remained adrift.
For two weeks, he’d attempted to kick his own ass for taking Rory against that tree by the river. He had wanted to talk to her about her future plans, to see if she was still laboring under the delusion that Hope Falls, that he and Angel, would be enough to hold her. Past experience had proven to him they wouldn’t.
And he couldn’t let things keep riding this way, couldn’t let Angel think this was the way things were always going to be from now on if they weren’t. His sweet baby girl had suffered enough loss in her young life. As long as there was a breath in his body, he was going to make sure that he never caused her a second of pain.
Headlights flashed behind him as another car pulled in. He got out of his vehicle when he recognized Cheryl. She’d called and texted almost daily since Callie’s death, and she’d even brought him lunch to work a couple of days. All of it had been completely platonic, friendly, sweet.
She was the exact type of woman he should be dating. She was kind, gentle, reliable and Angel liked her. She would be the perfect mother.
Cheryl smiled as she approached him…and Kevin knew none of that mattered. It was time to do what Callie had told him to do weeks earlier. Stop stringing the lovely woman along, stop allowing her to think this was ever going to be anything more.
“Hey stranger.”
He forced an easy grin, trying to push away the overwhelming anxiety building up inside him, set to go off like a powder keg. “Hi, Cheryl. This is a nice surprise.”
She shrugged and blushed a little. He’d had sex with her twice, both times happening well over four months ago. He’d known after the first time there were no sparks, but he’d tried the second time, determined to get Rory out of his head and his heart. It had failed, and he hadn’t initiated anything more than platonic good-night kisses on every subsequent date.
“I was just heading home from work and had this crazy idea to come around and see if I could convince you to go out to dinner with me. Spontaneity at its best.”
Kevin glanced toward the house. He could imagine Angel sitting at the kitchen counter coloring as Rory attempted her latest masterpiece. She’d discovered the Food Network on TV last week and had become addicted to cooking shows. She had been trying some of the recipes featured, with a minimal amount of success. Considering she had started with zero skills, he had to admit she was improving. Last night’s attempt was actually edible.
Regardless, a wise man would take Cheryl up on her offer.
Clearly, he was dumber than owl shit.
“Cheryl,” he started, but she raised her hand to cut him off.
“No, wait. I get it.”
He frowned. “Get what?”
She shrugged with a good-natured smile. “The way you just said my name sort of says it all. This isn’t working out, is it?”
Kevin felt terrible. He should have said this to her months ago, but he’d been nursing a broken heart and trying to mend it with her. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said kindly. “I think I was trying to make this into something more than you were interested in.”
God. He was doing the same thing to her that Rory had done to him. “You’re an amazing woman, Cheryl. You deserve to be with someone who’s crazy about you.”
She nodded. “The way you and Rory feel about each other.”
His brows creased. “I don’t—”
“I’ve seen the way you look at her. And the way she looks at you. It’s sort of perfect when you think about it. You can raise Angel together, as a couple, a real family.”
Kevin tried to process her words, but he was too hung up on her comment about the way Rory looked at him. How did she look at him?
“I’m not sure that’s how it’s going to work out,” he admitted at last.
“But that’s what you want, right?”
He nodded without hesitation.
Cheryl rolled her eyes. “I hope you’ll forgive me, but sometimes men are really thick. I don’t know what happened between you and Rory in the past, but it’s pretty obvious that the two of you are in love with each other. If there’s anything we should be learning from Callie’s death, it’s that life is precious and sometimes it’s too damn short. Stop wasting time worrying about stuff that obviously doesn’t matter anymore.”
Kevin walked over and hugged her. “You’re right. You’re completely right.”
She gave him one tight squeeze then stepped away. “We’re going to be friends,” she announced with an authority that dared him to try to rebut her comment.
He laughed. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure we’re going to be really good friends.”
&
nbsp; “Great. Remember you said that, and be a good friend and find a hot guy to set me up on a blind date with. Maybe ask Rory for suggestions. I have a serious thing for musicians.”
“Jesus. What is it with you women? Why don’t any of you ever lust after accountants?”
She turned back to her car, snorting at his joke before replying, “You’re all too stiff.”
He chuckled as she got back into her car and pulled away.
“None of them bitch about the stiff part in the bedroom,” he muttered as he walked toward the house, his heart lighter, his future clearer. He was going to do whatever it took to win Rory’s heart. Once and for all.
Suddenly, he was a man with a plan. What a difference five minutes could make.
Sure enough, when he entered the house, two things assaulted him instantly—the smell of smoke and the sound of Rory’s PG cursing.
“Son of a biscuit,” she yelled. “What the fruit? I swear to God, I did everything just like that sugarhole on TV said to. This is booger poop!”
Angel was giggling, the sound washing through Kevin like warm sunshine after weeks of cold rain.
Kevin walked to the doorway of the kitchen and peered in. Sure enough, Rory was dashing around, grabbing some scorched pile of booger poop, tossing it in the sink and drowning it with water.
“Should I order pizza in or do you want to go out?” he asked.
She glanced over her shoulder and shot him a dirty look that said she was in no mood for his jokes. She’d mentioned feeling like a maternal failure a couple nights ago and obviously, that perceived shortcoming was in full force tonight.
He held his hands up in surrender. “Just asking.”
Her gaze softened and she grimaced as she declared defeat. “Pepperoni.”
“Yay!” Angel yelled, hopping off the kitchen stool and dashing into his arms. “Will you get one of the cookie pizzas too, Uncle Kevin?”
Kevin nodded, very aware that someday soon, he and Rory were going to have to learn to say no to their niece or run the risk of raising a spoiled brat. Lately, she’d been making more and more requests for toys, longer playtimes, later bedtimes, and for sugary treats that he knew Callie would have rejected.