“It’s called self-preservation.”
“What do you need to protect yourself from?”
“From getting hurt,” she admitted. Even saying as much made her weaker.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Carmen. I’m trying to love you. But you have to clue me in on the rules of engagement.”
His words made her feel lighter, but slightly more vulnerable—as if she’d stripped off her Kevlar vest before her duty shift had ended. “I didn’t ask you to try and love me.”
“I know. I stupidly undertook that risky operation all on my own.”
Hearing him refer to himself as stupid caused her feeling of being weak to fall by the wayside. Suddenly, his words were clicking into place. “Are you saying that you love me?”
“Yes, woman. What the hell do you think I’ve been trying to show you for the past hour?”
Her rib cage tightened and her spine tingled, and it felt like all the fluttering butterflies inside her body had just declared mutiny and were demanding their freedom. She held still, only allowing her head to tilt slightly back so she could see the earnestness on his face.
“Listen, Carmen, I get that you’ve been hurt and that your life plans probably got all kinds of jacked up by that knife attack. But how could you think any of that would matter to a man who loves you?”
“Mark loved me, but it mattered to him. He was relieved when I broke up with him.”
“Are you talking about the idiot who married your cousin? Please tell me you’re not comparing me to him.”
“Luke, I’ve been around men all my life. Brothers, relatives, coworkers—I’m surrounded by them all the time. I know what they want and I know how to read them.”
“Well, you read me all wrong then, sweetheart. Because I want you. Not your reproductive organs or what you can provide me, but you. Just you.”
He brushed a kiss along her lips, and Carmen wanted to open back up to him again. Then she remembered something.
“What about Samantha?”
“What about her?”
“You aren’t still carrying a torch for her?”
Luke sighed. “I can’t change the fact that I once loved her. But I was also a very different man when I was married to her.” He paused, looking away for a moment, then went on, “I thought marriage and having children would ground me, settle me down. This may be hard for you to believe, but I’d always been the wild twin, the reckless one who got into trouble every time I turned around. Drew was the calm one, always thinking things through, and even though it was more fun to be naughty, I envied that. Getting married and doing the responsible thing made me feel more like him. I loved that feeling. But when she died, I no longer felt grounded. I don’t know if that’s because I’d lost that sense of security or because I’d lost her. Honestly, we never spent enough time together to give our relationship a chance.”
“But the twins were three when she died. That’s longer than you’ve known me.”
“True, but I was away on deployments a lot of the time. We met at a bar one night, through mutual friends. I’m not proud of this, but what I thought was a one-night stand ended up as a pregnancy and a quickie wedding in Vegas in between duty assignments. We got along well enough and she handled everything when it came to the twins. Looking back on it, she probably took on all the responsibility of raising them because she felt insecure in our relationship. And I allowed her to because I was busy running off to save the world and didn’t have to worry about it.”
“Was that why you asked about protection earlier?” Carmen bit her bottom lip, not sure she wanted to know the answer. “Because of what happened the last time you had a one-night stand?”
“First of all, in case I haven’t made it clear, this thing between you and me is not a one-night stand.” Carmen’s tummy did a little flip. “Second of all, I asked about protection because my commanding officer once read us the riot act about the possibility of diseases. I’m clean, just for the record.”
“That’s good to know,” Carmen said, thinking that was really the least of her worries. “I am, too. Just for the record.”
He smiled, and pulled her leg up and over him. “So now that you know about all my failings, I’ll try not to stop you if you want to leave.”
“I think your grip on my thigh says otherwise. But what failings would those be?”
“I don’t always trust my judgment when it comes to knowing what a woman wants. I wasn’t the man Samantha wanted me to be and I carried around a lot of guilt about her death. It still resurfaces from time to time.”
“But why was it your fault?”
“I wasn’t around a lot during my marriage. And Samantha was under a lot of stress with the twins and my deployments and handling everything on her own. It wasn’t until I mentioned something to my brother about it the other day that I started to rethink things.”
“Didn’t she have anyone to help her? I know the military has programs in place to assist dependents.”
“That’s what Drew had pointed out, too. But then I added to that by volunteering for every dangerous mission under the sun. I felt like I’d failed as a husband, and therefore, I would eventually fail as a father.”
“But, Luke, you’re a great father.”
He shook his head. “I try. I’m still getting my bearings, but I’m scared to death that I’m going to do something to mess it all up. I changed assignments last summer so that I can be around all the time now, but it’s been a learning curve. My family has helped me so much, but when you took on the twins for that mentorship program...” He swiped his hand over his eyes, then cleared his throat. “Well, you’ll never know how much I appreciate you being there for them.”
“Are you kidding? I feel like I’m the one who benefited. I left my family and moved here knowing I would be all alone, with no hope of ever having children of my own. I was scared to death that people would think it was desperate or pitiful to see me spending so much time with them.”
“I don’t know about desperate or pitiful.” Luke flashed that dimple again. “But they might think you need to be committed for a psych eval.”
“No way. Anyone who spends more than five minutes with the boys sees that they’re smart and talented and have so much love to give. I adore them, Luke.”
“That’s a relief. I’m not the best communicator, but you need to know up front that the boys and I are a package deal. I come with a lot of baggage, which is why I haven’t even attempted to pursue a relationship before. I haven’t felt like I deserved one and I didn’t want to jeopardize the bond you share with them. But now that I’ve spent time with you, I don’t think I could stand it if you walked out that door.”
She took his face in her hands and kissed him lightly. “I love you, Luke Gregson,” she said around the lump of emotion in her throat. “And I love your package deal. I’d been trying to protect myself, trying to avoid getting hurt. But it was a losing battle. I’d already surrendered my heart.”
And with that admission, Carmen forced him to his back and rocked her body into place above his. Her long hair formed an intimate curtain around them as she kissed him with all the emotion she’d been holding inside.
His pulse seemed to be throbbing everywhere she touched him—against his temple, against his stomach, against the rigid hardness of his manhood. She tore at the Velcro cover of his board shorts and lifted her hips to allow him to pull her bikini bottoms off her.
She balanced on one knee to get the material past her ankle and he took advantage of her precarious position by rolling her underneath him.
He was hard and swift when he entered her, only pausing long enough to fuse his lips to hers and for her to get acclimated to his thickness. She felt him slide out of her and locked her legs around his waist, preventing him from withdrawing too much.
�
�I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he whispered in her hair, and Carmen realized he didn’t just mean tonight. “And I’m not letting you run off again, either.”
But Carmen no longer wanted to leave. She wanted to stay right where she was. She moaned as he sank deeper inside her. Actually, she didn’t want to stay right here. She wanted to move with him. She wanted to move for him.
When his body lifted slightly, she rotated her hips and arched her spine, forcing him to lean back onto his haunches. But he took her with him, wrapping his arms around her waist as she sat up, bringing her breast to his mouth.
She moved quicker, rising higher and sinking deeper with each stroke of his tongue until he pulled his mouth away and said, “Not yet. We have to slow down or I’ll...”
He didn’t say what would happen, he simply hiked her up, his hands supporting her bottom as he repositioned her on the bed.
They fought for control, shifting their bodies so each one took turns being on top. His slow pace was no match for her frantic need and when she rose above him for the last time, she couldn’t wait any longer.
“Now, Carmen,” Luke whispered, reaching up to rub the sensitive spot directly above where their bodies met. And, like a good soldier, she followed his orders, calling out his name until every breath had left her lungs.
She tried to remain upright afterward, the conquering victor, but she was emotionally and physically spent and it was time for her to stop trying to control the situation and to just feel.
Before, making love had been sobering, but with Luke, it was intoxicating. And right now, she was drunk on pleasure.
* * *
Luke slowly stroked Carmen’s naked back as she slept soundly beside him. They had made love a second time and he was hoping for a third round before it got too late in the morning.
“Carmen,” he whispered, not wanting to wake her but not knowing when they’d get another opportunity to be alone. “The boys are going to be back soon.”
“How soon?” Her voice sounded groggy—due to his keeping her up most of the night—and a little hoarse—due to all the cheering she’d done at the baseball field yesterday.
“Maybe an hour or so, depending on whether or not they have Honey Smacks at the free breakfast buffet. Yesterday, they stayed there eating until the cereal dispenser was empty.”
“What are we going to tell them?” she asked.
“That they can have a bagel if their favorite cereal is already gone.”
“Not about breakfast.” She playfully pushed at his chest. “About us.”
He laughed and intertwined his fingers with hers. “I’m going to tell them that you tried to go AWOL last night, but that I went rogue and retrieved you before you could cross enemy lines.”
“Enemy lines? Really?”
“No?” He smiled mischievously, the way his twins often did when they wanted to charm her.
“There goes that dimple, again.” But this time, she smiled back at him. “Maybe we should meet the kids at breakfast and tell them then?”
“I figure after the way you threw yourself at me in front of Elaine Marconi, we probably won’t have to tell the twins anything. The whole town is going to know that we are officially a couple.”
Carmen squeezed her eyes closed. “Don’t remind me about that woman.” When Luke laughed again, Carmen reached up her hand and used her thumb to trace around his lips.
“If you keep touching me like that, I’m going to remind you about a lot more that happened last night.”
Yet, before Luke could demonstrate, he heard a steady stream of voices from the hallway outside.
“It’s the boys,” Carmen said, panic taking over the desire in her eyes. “I don’t want them to know I spent the night here. But they’ll see me if I try to go out to my room now.”
Luke stacked his hands behind his head and stretched out, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “You know, my nana always said, ‘Step onto the dance floor with both feet.’”
She jumped out of bed, pulling the sheet with her and wrapping it around her body. “Well, my abuela always said, ‘El que no transa, no avanza.’”
“What does that mean?”
“It means he who does not yield, does not advance.”
“That actually explains a lot about you,” Luke said, then dodged the pillow she threw at his head.
Rap, rap, rap, rap. Bang, bang. Tap, tap, tap, tap.
Both Carmen and Luke pivoted toward the door. “Dad, it’s time for breakfast. Are you in there, Dad?”
“How am I going to get back to my room now?” she whispered.
Luke looked at the adjoining door between their rooms and his brain clicked on something he would have done back when he was nine. He pointed. “Just go through there.”
“Luke, don’t be absurd. Hotels usually have locks on both sides of the doors.”
“Have you met my children?” he asked. “They’ve never met a lock that could keep them out of trouble.”
She gave him a doubtful look before pushing on the door. When it sprang open, the empty toilet paper roll that the twins must have wedged into the latch fell to the ground.
Just as the secret knock sounded on Carmen’s hotel door.
Rap, rap, rap, rap. Bang, bang. Tap, tap, tap, tap.
“Hey, Officer Carmen. If our dad’s still in there with you, tell him they’re out of Honey Smacks so we’re going to walk to the doughnut store down the street with Choogie.”
She looked back at Luke, and he lifted his arms and shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say? They’ll always be one step ahead of us.” He pulled on his shorts and tossed her the discarded cotton dress she’d been wearing over her bathing suit last night. “Besides, Officer Carmen, I’m done with hiding and pretending I can control myself around you. No more guilt, no more regrets, right?”
She nodded. “The Marine Corps taught me to never leave a man behind. But since you’re the higher ranking officer, I’ll let you do the explaining.”
She slipped on her dress, then followed Luke through the adjoining room.
“Okay, you monkeys,” he said when he opened her hotel room door. “You’re going to wake the entire floor.”
The twins rushed inside. “Hey, are you guys coming down for breakfast or what?” Aiden asked.
“And if you’re in Officer Carmen’s room already, does this mean she’s your girlfriend now?” Caden wanted to know.
Luke covered his mouth to smother the chuckling sound he’d just made. Then he raised an eyebrow at Carmen, but she clearly wasn’t going to get him out of this mess. Maybe he should’ve let her sneak back into her room when they’d had the chance.
“Well, I haven’t quite asked Carmen if she was willing to become my girlfriend, yet,” he said.
“You want us to help you ask her?” Aiden was rocking on the balls of his feet, his bright smile turned her way.
“I think she’ll say yes, Dad.” Caden’s grin was equally bright.
Carmen was smiling along with them. “And why would you think that?” she asked.
“Because then you’d get to see us all the time and not just on Tuesdays or when we get into trouble.”
“Hmmm...” She pretended to ponder the decision. “I don’t suppose I could resist an offer like that.”
“So then I guess my work here is done,” Luke said, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in close. “Let’s go get some breakfast with my new girlfriend.”
The twins each grabbed one of her hands and pulled her toward the door.
“Wait,” Carmen squeaked. “I need to get ready first.”
“Ready for what? You’re already dressed.” Aiden continued to tug on her arm. “Grammie and Pop Pop are waiting for us. Besides, we need to get downstairs and tell Choogie o
ur plan worked.”
“Why don’t you boys go down now,” Luke suggested. “We’ll get ready and meet everyone there in a few minutes.”
The boys gave one last whoop, high-fived each other and ran off toward the elevators.
“What plan do you think they were talking about?” she asked when they were alone in the room again.
“I have absolutely no idea,” he admitted. “But I have a feeling Choogie isn’t the only one they’re going to tell the good news to.”
“That reminds me. We should probably talk to the person who runs the announcement booth at the baseball field and advise them not to let any nine-year-old twins near the loudspeaker today.”
Luke laughed. “You sound like you know what you’re getting into with us.”
“I certainly like challenging jobs.”
“You made them very happy, you know.” Luke traced a finger under the shoulder strap of her dress. “And now it would make me very happy to help you take this thing off and get ready.”
When Luke’s lips touched her cheek, Carmen said, “I feel like the happiest one of all.”
Epilogue
Carmen threw away a handful of napkins after cleaning up the spilled punch on the floor next to Caden, who wasn’t technically her date for tonight’s Mother-Son Dancing Safari. Walking back to where a group of third-grade boys were finishing off the last batch of cookies donated by the Sugar Falls Cookie Company, she tried not to scratch at the homemade pinecone corsage on her wrist.
The DJ had announced the last song, and while Aiden danced with his aunt Kylie, several of the teachers and parents were already cleaning up, trying to turn the decorated room back into the school cafeteria.
She felt Luke’s hands around her waist before she heard his voice. “Remember the last time we were in this room together?” he asked.
“I remember being a little higher off the ground,” she said, placing her hands on his and leaning her head back into his shoulder.
He nodded his head toward the safari-themed wall hanging being taken down. “Yeah, and our monkeys were the only wildlife in here at the time.”
The Matchmaking Twins Page 17