by Jenny Allen
“Yes.” There wasn’t the slightest bit of hesitation in his voice. There were no skeptical wrinkles in his handsome face. He meant it with every fiber in his being and Lilith felt a weight lifting off her heart. “As soon as Cohen’s family found out about Ashcroft and Gregor…” He faltered, trying to find the right words. “You had to know he wouldn’t make it out of here alive. That night, in the basement at Phipps Bend, Gregor was ready to die. The only reason he fought was to save you, Lily.”
A tear glistened in his eye as his fingertips brushed the hair from her face. “He only wanted to see you make it out of there. The guilt of all those deaths was weighing heavy on his heart. He didn’t want to die, but he was ready. He’d lost everything too, Lily.”
Lilith leaned forward and rested her head against his chest as the tears returned. Her hands curled into fists against his shoulders as new thoughts flooded her mind. An intense anger rose inside her chest making it hard to breathe. An anger that was directed completely inward.
“Why didn’t I return his calls? You were right. His past didn’t change who he was to me. God, Chance, he died thinking I still hated him. I never got a chance to…” Her voice trembled and finally broke. She’d been completely blind and selfish and it had cost her precious time with her father.
Chance placed a soft kiss against her hair. “No, Lily. He knew you loved him. You can’t blame yourself. He would never want that for you. You were trying to come to grips with a lot of dark history. That kind of stuff is not easy, Lily. It didn’t matter what I said or he said for that matter. You had to come to terms with it in your own time. You can’t predict the future, Cherie. Remember what you told me the first time you were attacked? You have to stop beating yourself up because I see this going one of two ways right now…”
Despite the grief and tears, Lilith couldn’t stop the half smile from pulling weakly at her lips. “Either you are going to guilt yourself into a coma which will get me killed, or you’ll become so fucking overprotective that I’ll have to kill you myself?”
His soft chuckle rumbled through the air and made her heart feel a touch lighter. He pushed back the hair from her face again as he stared at her with a look of pure vulnerability. “You can’t give up, Lily. We still have to figure this out and make it home alive. I need you too, Cherie. Whatever Farren wants, I have a feeling that your expertise is the only thing that will bring us out on top.”
Without a single thought, Lilith caressed her lips against his in a kiss that deepened quickly. Chance wound his arms around her and pulled her closer. Their kiss tasted like tears at first, but the grief, guilt and anger slowly started to wilt away in the heat. Lilith’s fingers sank into his chestnut hair as her lips moved against his in nudging, tender kisses. His hands felt strong and secure against her back, holding her tight as a shimmer of energy slid over their skin.
The fire of their kiss kept building until it burned everything else away and she was just lost in it. They were both consumed in a torrent of passion, feeding off each other’s need to feel something more than sorrow and anguish. They needed to feel truly alive, to prove that they’d survived that bullet, and it was all right there in that kiss. Lilith moaned softly against his lips as she felt her body slowly come to life. The grey fog of death, despair and guilt was slowly being lifted. Even if it was only temporary, they both needed it.
With a fierce growl, Chance grabbed her hips, picking her up as he surged to his feet. Lilith reflexively grabbed his shoulders as her heart started racing. They both fell on the bed, a mass of intertwining limbs as his lips brushed against her neck. Each touch brought shivers to her skin as her arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer. His strong hands sank into her hair, tightening gently as he nudged urgent kisses against her full lips. His leanly muscled body slid against hers in an intoxicating moment that made her head spin.
Distantly, Lilith heard a loud, unrelenting knock at the door. Chance pulled up enough to growl at the door in a feral voice that was full of raw need. “Go the fuck away!” Immediately he turned his attention back to her, his eyes catching hers for a moment. There was a powerful look of desire in them that made her breath catch and scared the crap out of her all at the same time.
For a second, she hesitated and she felt a twinge of fear from Chance. Lilith lifted herself up, her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed him passionately, determined to wipe away that fear. He slid a strong arm around her back, supporting her and holding her tight against him as his tongue caressed against hers.
Lilith’s hands grabbed desperately for his shirt, pulling and tugging. She needed to feel his skin, his warmth. With a growl of frustration Lilith tore at the black dress shirt, buttons flying across the room to clatter on the floor. Chance used one hand to pull the rest of the shirt off before his lips crashed hungrily against hers again. Her fingers slid over his smooth skin, memorizing its lines, and then her nails curled against his shoulders. Strong hands glided along her leg to massage against her hip, pulling a soft moan from her lips.
The knocking at the door was even louder this time. Chance growled in frustration as he tried to block it out but the knocking wasn’t stopping. Chance pulled away with a wave of intense anger that knocked Lilith right out of her passionate delirium. He stalked across the room and ripped the door open. For a moment, she thought he was going to rip it right off the hinges. “I told you to go the fuck away!” There was such a strong growl in his voice that he sounded like an angry werewolf in some racy HBO series.
“I gave you your “moment”. We need to talk before the council makes a decision on whether we all live or die. Assuming you still care about the verdict.” There was a distant white-hot anger in Cohen’s voice that didn’t quite make sense. It lingered just below the surface of his words, making her wonder if he was truly angry or just bored. “The luggage is here. Get your things together and get out here if you have any interest in not following in Gregor’s footsteps.”
Lilith could feel the surge of fury in Chance’s veins spike like a hot poker at the mention of Gregor. Hell, she wanted to tear Cohen’s throat out for even speaking her father’s name, but it was her turn to be the level headed one. “Chance. Don’t. He’s right, even if he is being a fucking asshole about it.” She made sure Cohen could hear the important bit. Juvenile maybe, but she was beyond caring.
Lilith slid off the bed and slowly caressed her hand up his back. She could feel his muscles loosen and relax in her finger’s wake. With her cheek pressed against his hot skin, she whispered. “You were right. We need to figure this out and he still knows things we don’t. I am going to change first, though. I can’t wear this funeral dress for another second.” She didn’t verbalize the fact that the dress was also covered in Gregor’s blood. She couldn’t go there.
Chance turned his head so she could see his profile. “If it wasn’t for him, you’d already be out of it.” An impish grin curled his lips that warmed her right down to her toes. A very tiny part of her felt guilty for the effect in light of everything that had happened in the past hour, but this was what she needed to focus on. This was exactly why she wanted to stay alive.
With a heavy sigh, Chance slowly turned around and gracefully slid his hands over her hips. When he looked down at Lilith, there were a million things he still wanted to say and do, but he kept it in check. “Look, can you grab our bags? If I go out there I can’t guarantee that I won’t punch that little weasel right in the throat. He wouldn’t be doing much talking after that.”
Lilith flashed the shadow of a smile that she hoped was reassuring and nodded softly. “Yeah. I can do that. We need to know what he knows. We have no choice. He may be a weasel, but he’s right. We don’t have an unlimited amount of time.”
Chance frowned down at her. “You don’t really think he was trying to break the door down just out of an urgent need to take care of business do you?”
It was Lilith’s turn to look completely confused. “What?”
Ch
ance chuckled and pressed a tender kiss against her forehead. “He’s an emotional flypaper demon, Lily. You really think he didn’t know exactly what was going on?”
Lilith still looked confused and then, as it started to dawn on her, she looked horrified. “Oh god.” She clamped a hand over her mouth and looked up to find Chance laughing.
“How can you be so damn adorable and sexy at the same time?” There was a definite grin in his voice that just made her want to push him onto the bed, regardless of what Cohen thought. Chance brushed a kiss against her forehead and quickly pulled away. “You get the luggage. I…uh…need a really cold shower right now anyway.”
Lilith rubbed at her flushed cheeks and nodded. “I might need one myself.” Chance crooked an eyebrow at her with a leering grin. She patted his shoulder and took a step back. “After you’ve finished yours. I can’t say I really care for the idea of Cohen sensing everything we do. Creeps me out. He’s worse than a peeping tom.”
Lilith hugged her arms and shivered at the thought. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason for her shiver. The light banter was a distraction, but it felt hollow, like they were both playing their parts. Fake it until you make it. The heat, the passion. That had been real. It was the alleyway in Tennessee all over again. So much anger, pain and fear that they clung to each other to feel anything else. Lilith nervously swallowed down the sudden questions flashing in her brain. What if that’s all they ever had? What if they were only an emotional crutch to one another?
Chance reluctantly backed away toward the bathroom, his hazel eyes still traveling her body. He let out a slow sigh and leaned against the door frame. “When this is over, you, me and my apartment…for a week.”
Lilith couldn’t fight the impish grin pulling at her lips even if she wanted to. She knew, in that moment, that what they had was more than an escape from the pain. “That’s a pretty unconventional first date, but...”
Chance shook his head with a brilliant grin that held all the charisma and charm that made her knees weak and disappeared into the bathroom while he still could.
She stared at the closed bathroom door with a smile on her face until she heard the shower running. Reality crashed down on her just as shocking as a face full of cold water. If she wanted a shot at that week in Chance’s apartment, she had to figure out what Cohen’s family wanted and how to use it to their advantage. Somehow she had to keep them from joining in her father’s fate.
The hollow banter and heady lust may have distracted her out of her grief coma, but the danger and loss was still very real. Farren shot her father right in the head without a second thought. He was cold and calculated, just like his grandson. Lilith took a slow, deep breath and steeled herself for the awkward walk into the living room.
Cohen was sitting uncomfortably in a chair in the center of the living room, staring down at his hands. When she stepped into the room, his eyes snapped up with a weird mixture of anger, relief, regret and frustration. Lilith immediately felt her self-consciousness prickle under her skin, spreading to a blush on her cheeks which just fueled her intense anger.
“What?” She snapped the words and put her hands firmly on her hips. She refused to be embarrassed, refused to let him get to her.
Cohen immediately looked back down at his hands as if he couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye anymore. “I am sorry about your father and about what I said... It was out of line.” The words may have sounded polished, but there was a real undercurrent beneath them.
“You’re damn right it was.” Lilith swallowed down the tears that were threatening to return. She couldn’t break down again, especially not in front of him. She had to remember what Chance said. She’d saved her father. If she had any hope of making it through this and keeping her sanity, she had to believe it. “At least my father is at peace. Your “family” can’t torture him anymore.”
“I did not have anything to do with that, Lilith. Perhaps you did not notice, but I was on the same side of the table as you.” His tone was caught between boredom and earnest sincerity, like he was trying hard to care but didn’t really know how.
“I don’t fucking care, Cohen.” Lilith could only hold back her anger for so long.
“Well you better.” Cohen pulled himself up straighter in his chair and stared right at her. It was a distant look, reminiscent of Farren’s but younger, more human. “We have to work together here. We are on the same side and it is the only chance we have of surviving.”
Lilith tilted her head to one side and stared holes into him. “Are we? I don’t think there is a person in the world who knows who in the hell you are, but one thing I know for sure is the only side you’re on is your own. If that happens to line up with someone else, awesome, but ultimately, the only person you care about helping is yourself and that makes you dangerous.”
Cohen frowned at that and sunk back into his chair. “That isn’t true. I would have helped your father if I could have.”
“Save it for someone who gives a fuck, Cohen. This is the last time we will have this discussion. Do not ever mention it again. Don’t even say his name. You don’t have the right.”
Andrew flinched in his seat, but he didn’t say anything else. He simply nodded in agreement and slouched into the chair, folding in on himself. Oddly enough, he seemed genuinely hurt by her words but it was probably just an elaborate act and if not, then he sure as hell deserved it. Let him suffer. Lilith moved past him and grabbed the luggage she needed.
“I’m going to change clothes and then you’re gonna start being straight with us for once or I won’t protect you against Chance again. No more of your fucking games. If you want cooperation, you need to be a real ally. No more secret agendas and I swear to god if I ever find out that you’ve engineered any of this crap, I will break every single bone in your body right down to your carpuls.” She didn’t wait for a response. She just disappeared into the bed room, closing the door on words she refused to listen to.
Chapter 7
Twenty minutes later, Lilith finally pulled herself out of the shower. For a while she’d just stood there, the water crashing over her face, hoping it would wash away the pain along with the blood. The memory of cradling her father’s dead body just flashed behind her eyelids over and over. Then she started scrubbing in a manic need to clean all the blood off her. Tears streamed down her face as her skin lit up painfully from the rough washcloth. Finally, she sat in the tub, letting the water stream over her and down the drain with her tears.
When she’d finally run out of tears, the hollow feeling returned. Without Chance there to distract her, she was simply alone with her grief and a huge pile of guilt. She kept retracing her steps, trying to figure out what she could have done differently to stop all this death from happening. But even if she could pinpoint the crucial moment that had led to this, she didn’t have a time machine to change it.
Now that she was wrapped in a towel in the bedroom, she stared blankly down at her suitcase. Her clothing options weren’t much better than Chance’s. It was all suit jackets, pencil skirts and pastel blouses, pretty much all of her court and business clothes. She couldn’t help but wonder just what these demons had in mind for her. It had to involve her forensics skills, otherwise why bother with her? Farren obviously had an entire SWAT team at his disposal so he sure as hell didn’t need her non-existent muscle power.
Lilith managed to find a ponytail holder or two in her luggage and pulled up her shoulder-length, auburn curls. When she finally managed to pull on an outfit and looked at herself in the mirror, she just stared. She felt like she should be heading to a court house or some FBI crime scene not into a pow-wow with an incubus to figure out how they were going to survive this time. Talk about overdressed for the occasion.
Of course the puffy, red eyes betrayed how she really felt inside. Her heart still felt like a huge open wound and there was no hiding it. The very center of her world had been violently ripped away in the blink of an eye and Lilith couldn’
t even attempt to figure out what her world would be like from now on.
Slowly, her eyes slid down to the black funeral dress clutched in her hands, still smeared with blood. Her father’s blood. Lilith squeezed her eyes shut and jammed the dress into a separate compartment of her suitcase as she fought to banish the infinite loop in her head.
Chance wolf-whistled from the bathroom doorway and despite everything, it almost made her smile, dragging Lilith partway out of the inky depths of her dark, brooding thoughts. When she got an eyeful of him, freshly showered and sporting black slacks with a dark grey button up shirt and a simple black tie, she genuinely smiled.
He looked too good to be a real FBI agent whether or not he was capable of the job. Outside of television shows, FBI weren’t GQ models with a badge in $1,000 suits. More often than not they were average, completely forgettable and had more coffee stains on their cheap ties than witty personality. In her experience they were all business, focused and severely underpaid.
“Well, now that we’re all dressed up, I guess we should deal with the Detective.” Lilith was in mid-smile when a twinge of a headache interrupted her. She rubbed a palm over her neck and winced until it subsided. It had to be the stress. After all it wasn’t everyday she was kidnapped and forced to watch her father die. Talk about the worst Groundhog Day ever. In her mind it was meant to be a sarcastic quip, but it was too soon. She grimaced at her own thoughts as the memory of her father’s brains on the wall flashed through her mind for the millionth time.
“You okay?” When she looked up, Chance was right in front of her. It spooked her into taking a step back on unsteady legs but she brushed it off and flashed a hint of a smile. “You look a little pale.” His concerned eyes watched every line of her face carefully as his hands softly rubbed over her shoulders.
“Yeah. I’m good. Just a small headache.” She flashed him a reassuring smile and backed away toward the door. “I’ll be okay. Let’s just get this over with.”