For You (The Shore Book 2)

by S. E. Brown

  “Wanna get a drink with me?”

  “Sure.”

  He takes me into the kitchen where he gets himself a beer and me a soda. I’m really not being a prude, I just don’t like the taste of beer.

  He starts asking me questions about what I like to do, the kind of music I listen to, that kind of thing. The more we talk, the more everyone else seems to fade away. He’s so easy to talk to and funny and has me laughing to the point that soda is nearly coming out of my nose.

  Contrary to the bad-boy reputation he’s perfected, he seems nice. Smart.

  “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks, one eyebrow cocked.

  “No,” I answer, shaking my head. My parents aren’t allowing me to date until I’m sixteen, but so far that hasn’t stopped me.

  “Then what do you think about going out with me next weekend?”

  “I think that could probably be arranged.”

  “Good,” he smiles and leans down to kiss my cheek.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Baby, are you sure? We can wait if you want.”

  I love it when he calls me Baby. He knows I will do nearly anything for him when he does.

  He cups my face with one hand while the other is around my neck, pulling me to him.

  “I want to,” I whisper, looking into his eyes. “I want my first time to be with you. I want it to be now.”

  I feel safe and comfortable with him. Jeremy will take care of me. He loves me – he told me so.

  We’ve been dating for a few months and have fooled around plenty of times. We’ve done everything else there is to do, at least as far as I know, but we still haven’t done it. Tonight, that is going to change.

  Jeremy is gentle and loving as he removes my clothes, kissing every inch of exposed skin he can reach.

  “Lay down, Baby. This way,” he instructs after he makes me orgasm with his hand. I maneuver myself how he wants me, my head resting on the door handle of the car. “That’s it.”

  He runs his hand along his length as he places a knee on the seat beside me. I feel him then, rubbing the head of his cock along my opening.

  “This is going to hurt a little, okay?”

  This is my first time, but it isn’t for Jeremy. There’s a part of me that’s glad for that fact. He knows what he’s doing.

  I nod in anticipation. Jessa and I talked about her first time having sex and she mentioned it hurt, but only for a little bit. “It doesn’t hurt for long. Once you get used it, it’s totally the shit,” she added.

  Slowly he starts to push inside me and I hold my breath, waiting for … I’m not even sure what. Jeremy leans down to kiss me, suddenly pushing himself inside me.

  “Oh my god!” I groan in pain. Not knowing what to expect, I hadn’t expected that.

  He lays still for a minute while I get used to the feel of him.

  “You okay, Baby? Does it still hurt?”

  I move a little, which moves him inside of me, and find the pain is quickly subsiding.

  “Just a few more seconds, I think. The pain is almost gone.”

  He leans down to kiss me again and starts to rock his hips.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Hello?”

  “Madison … it’s Jessa.”

  “I know your voice, girl. You don’t have to tell me it’s you.”

  I hear a sniffle through the phone. “What’s wrong?”

  I start to panic when she starts to cry and won’t answer me. “Jessa, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  “It … it’s Jeremy.”

  My heart stops beating. “Jeremy? What’s wrong?”

  “He … he died, Q.”

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “You are NOT going, do you understand me?”

  Mom and I are fighting, which really isn’t anything new, but this time it’s about Jeremy.

  “He was my boyfriend! How can I not go to his funeral?”

  “Your boyfriend? What do you mean you were dating that sniveling druggie? Ha! You’re not old enough to date!”

  “No?”

  “No,” she answers adamantly. “Your father and I told you, you are not allowed to date until you’re sixteen, so I know he wasn’t your boyfriend.”

  A boisterous laugh escapes my lips causing Mom’s eyes to bug out of her head as she watches me. She could be so stupid sometimes. She never wanted me around, and she sure as hell never made any attempt to spend time with me, so how would she know what I was doing?

  “You think … just because you said …” I take a deep breath and finally let it all out. “I’m pregnant, Mom. With his baby. Surprise! I guess that theory of yours doesn’t hold much water, does it?”

  “You’re … you’re … pregnant?!”

  I stand there with my hands on my hips and nod.

  Finally, I got to her.

  “Get out.”

  “Excuse me?” I hadn’t expected that response.

  “Get out of my house.”

  “You’re kicking me out?”

  “I never want to see you again, you slut!”

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  I walk in and instantly smell the horrid scent of funeral flowers. I nearly throw up right there, but Jessa takes my hand in hers.

  “It’ll be okay,” she tells me, trying to calm me down.

  Not wanting to talk to anyone, not that I’d know what to say anyway, I follow Jessa to the front of the room where the casket is. Where Jeremy is laying.

  He’s dressed in a dark suit that doesn’t quite fit him and couldn’t have been further from who he really was. It must have been his mother’s choice.

  He’s lying there. Quiet. His beautiful green eyes are closed and I silently plead with him to WAKE THE FUCK UP. This shit isn’t funny.

  It looks like at any moment he will sit up and take me in his arms. He’ll tell me it was all a mistake, that he didn’t mean to overdose. He didn’t mean to leave me.

  I want him here. I need him here. We do. Me and the baby …

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Madison?”

  My head pops up at the sound of my name.

  “May I see you for a moment please?”

  I sigh, wondering what the problem could possibly be now. Mrs. Erickson has never asked to see me after class before. I think about recent assignments and know my homework was turned in on time so I’m not sure what the problem could be.

  “Yes?” I ask as I approach her desk and the last student files out of the room.

  “Madison.”

  Her eyes are so kind. She is one of those teachers students actually like talking to. She treats us like humans, not just mere peons forced to spend time with her in a classroom.

  “I know you and Jeremy were close. You’ve seemed a little off the last few days, which is completely understandable. I just wanted to check on you – see how you were doing.”

  “I’m fine. Everything is good.”

  She nods, but it was one of those nods that said she knew I was completely full of shit.

  “I’m here if you want to talk, okay? Any time.”

  I nod a thank you and start to walk away. With each step I take, the pit in my stomach grows. I’m fooling myself to think I can handle this all on my own.

  “Mrs. Erickson?” I whisper at the door.

  “Yes?”

  “There is something.”

  “Why don’t you come sit down?”

  I turn to face her and follow her lead as she sits in one of the student desks in the front row. A moment after I sit down, I start to spill everything. All of it. How I’m pregnant. How my parents kicked me out. How it was the father of my unborn child that just died of a drug overdose.

  She doesn’t get mad. Her heart rate doesn’t even seem to change. She simply lays her hand on mine in comfort.

  “I tell you what. Why don’t you come to my house after school? You can have dinner with the family and you’ll spend the night. We’ll work on figuring this out together, okay?”

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 
; “Madison, this is Ellie. Ellie, this is Madison.” Mrs. Erickson introduces me to the lady she told me about a few days ago. This Ellie person is a friend of a friend, and apparently she’s okay with a fifteen-year-old pregnant girl coming to live with her.

  I don’t understand why she would be okay with it, why she would want me to stay with her. But as I look at her, Ellie has one of those faces that looks like she couldn’t hurt a fly even if it was bugging the piss out of her. She’s older, not grandma-old, but she has a few gray hairs and wrinkles. And her eyes, they’re so blue and … warm.

  “She has a huge heart and is the kindest, nicest person,” Mrs. Erickson told me as we drove to the restaurant. “I really think you’ll like her.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Madison.” Ellie smiles at me in a way that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

  “You, too,” I answer quietly.

  “Why don’t we sit and get to know each other a bit?”

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  It’s a rare winter evening when the weather in Charlotte is so nice there isn’t any other option than to be outside. The sun is about to set, bringing a slight chill to the air, but not enough to force me back inside.

  I’m sitting on the porch reading when Ellie comes out holding two mugs of hot chocolate.

  “Mind if I join you?” she asks as she hands me a mug.

  “No.” It is her house after all. I’m just a guest. It’s not as though I can dictate where she can or can’t go in her own home. “Thanks for the hot chocolate.”

  She smiles in acknowledgement as she takes her seat and opens her book.

  This isn’t the first evening we’ve spent like this. She often joins me in the sun room or on the porch, almost as if she’s trying to tell me she’s here. That I’m not alone. At first it was just awkward, feeling like I needed to fill the silence. I’ve nearly gotten used to it.

  I finish the chapter I’m reading and close the book. I can tell Ellie notices but she continues to read anyway.

  “Ellie?”

  “Hmm?” She places her bookmark in its place and looks to me.

  “I’ve been living with you for a while now but you haven’t really asked me any questions. Aren’t you curious?”

  A soft smile spreads on her lips. “Yes, of course I’m curious, but I learned long ago that pushing doesn’t do much more than leave marks on the floor. I figure when you’re ready to talk, you’ll let me know.”

  It isn’t as though I think she doesn’t care, it’s not that at all. It’s that everyone else barreled through and shot questions at me, expecting an answer, whether or not I was prepared to give one.

  “Oh.”

  “Madison, I have enjoyed having you here with me. I like the company,” she smiles warmly. “I know there are things from your past you are dealing with, including this baby. The most important things to me are that you know I’m here for you, whenever you’re ready, and that you’re honest with me.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.” Finished with the conversation, Ellie raises the mug to her lips then sets it down and re-opens her book.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Was it something I said?” Ellie teases.

  I laugh, but then feel something in my belly.

  “Ooh!” I jump, quickly covering my round stomach with my hand. “That one hurt!”

  “Do you mind if I feel?”

  I answer by reaching for her hand.

  Ellie gets up from her chair and joins me on the swing. She turns toward me and I rest her hand on my belly, to where the baby just kicked. A moment later, the little stinker does it again.

  “I felt that!”

  I’ve never seen a bigger smile on her face.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Madison, can you come into the kitchen please?” Ellie yells from downstairs.

  I sigh. Doing as she asked isn’t the problem. The problem is, I’m seven months pregnant and getting up from furniture is becoming a challenge.

  As I waddle my way into the kitchen, I see Ellie standing on the other side of the island, a wide smile on her face. In front of her is a cake with sixteen flaming candles.

  Making a big deal out of my birthday wasn’t something that happened with my parents. Ever. I’m not even sure how Ellie knew it was my birthday. We never talked about it.

  I’m about to say something when from the corner behind me, I hear someone start to sing the birthday song. I turn around and see Jessa standing there, singing to me.

  “Jessa!” I waddle to where she’s standing and throw my arms around her so tight she’s not able to finish the song.

  “Hey girl. Happy birthday!” She pulls back from our embrace and takes in the size of my belly. “Holy shit, you’re huge!”

  Ellie coughs, reminding us of her presence and reprimanding Jessa for her language at the same time.

  “Sorry, Ellie.”

  Ellie walks to us and pats Jessa on the shoulder, accepting her apology. Wrapping her arm around me, she leads me toward the cake. “Why don’t you come over here and blow out your candles?”

  Taking in as big of a breath as the little alien will let me, I start to blow and manage to get all the candles in the first try. I didn’t even stop to make a wish because it already came true. Jessa is here. I haven’t seen her in more than three months and have been missing her like crazy.

  Ellie takes the knife from beside the cake and turns to the sink. She turns the water to hot and runs the blade beneath it.

  Confused, I ask, “Ellie, what are you doing?”

  “The cake is made of ice cream. Heating the knife makes it easier to cut.”

  “Oh,” I nod. I’ve never had ice cream cake before.

  Taking my first bite is like sinking my teeth into Heaven. It’s cold and fudgy, but the tiny cookie bits in the middle are the best.

  As I take another bite and look at Ellie and Jessa chatting, I decide right then and there to have ice cream cake for every future birthday.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Madison!” Ellie calls. “Dinner’s ready!”

  I wave my hand to let her know I’ve heard her.

  This morning the doctor said he was sure I was still a couple weeks away from going into labor so Ellie decided we should head to the beach where she has a little cottage and relax before all the excitement.

  I close the book I’m reading and go to stand, but go nowhere. My fat ass can’t get out of the chair! With my belly in the way, I can’t bend to get up.

  A few minutes later, Ellie appears and finds me in tears.

  “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

  “I’m stuck!” I exclaim, flinging my arms out to the side.

  Ellie tries to stifle a giggle, but isn’t very successful. “Well,” she says between laughs, “let me help you.”

  She takes the book from my hands and sets it on the sand. Then, taking my hands in hers, she pulls. Except instead of me standing as a result, Ellie ass-plants right into the sand.

  When I look at her face, there is such an expression of shock I start laughing and soon, she does, too. The tears of frustration I had been crying quickly turn to tears of laughter.

  When she finally composes herself, Ellie flags down a jogger to help. Together, one pulls and one pushes from behind, and I’m finally able to get my ass out of the fucking chair.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  I’m quickly approaching the fifteenth hour of labor and it feels like this damn kid will never get here. Maybe I’m doing the wrong thing. Maybe I’m supposed to keep her and love her and raise her.

  The beeps surrounding me are annoying but I’m told they’re necessary to monitor me and the baby. I try to rest, to save the strength they tell me I’ll need, but every time I fall asleep another fucking contraction rips through my body.

  I just wish she’d hurry up and get here … so all of this can be over.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Oh my God!” I scream.

  It hurts. It hurts so fuckin
g bad.

  Ellie is on one side of me, giving me words of encouragement and telling me how proud she is of me. A mean looking nurse is on the other, making her disapproval of a sixteen-year-old girl giving birth painfully obvious.

  I have been in labor for so many hours now I’ve lost track. We’re getting close, or so the nurses keep telling me.

  “Okay, Madison. We need a big push.”

  And then another. And then another.

  Finally, when they tell me this next one should be it, I push with everything I have left. Ripping and burning seer through me as her body travels out of mine.

  I am so tired.

  I just want it over.

  She isn’t my baby. I’m just the host that brought her into this world. Another hour and it’ll be like she was never even here.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Ellie looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want to hold her?”

  I turn to my side so my back faces her and shake my head. “I can’t.”

  “Madison, she’s your d-“

  “No,” I stop her. “She belongs to them. She’s not my … She’s not my anything.”

  Ellie stands quietly, but I can hear the squeak of her shoes as she rocks back and forth with the baby in her arms.

  “Just take her away. Please,” I beg.

  I have never known such loneliness in my life. I am surrounded by my doctor and nurses and Ellie, but I can hear her breaths, her whimpers. She’s tearing my heart apart.

  I am doing the right thing. It’s what’s right for her. For me.