by S. E. Brown
Turning her head to the other side, her eyes scanned the interior of the plane until she came to a leg. Terror climbed in her throat as her eyes followed the torn and dirty denim up the body, finally resting on Declan’s face.
“Declan?” He didn’t move. “Declan?”
His face was turned away from her but she could see the blood that had poured down his cheek. She tried to be still to see if his chest moved or if she could hear him breathe, but neither happened.
“NononoNoNoNo.” It started as a whisper that quickly turned into a plea.
She went to move and a bolt of pain tore through her leg. Looking down, she saw bone from her leg sticking out. When her brain finally registered that it was her own bone and her own blood she was looking at, the pain became even more intense and nearly unbearable.
Pressing her knuckles into her thigh trying to will the sharp stabbing pains and immense throbbing to go away, she concentrated on her breathing. She knew she had to help Declan. He wasn’t answering her, and she’d have to move closer to help.
The shirt she was wearing was already ripped, so she took it in her hands and completed the tear. As tightly as she could, she wrapped the fabric around her thigh to help control the bleeding. She screamed at the pain.
As gingerly as possible, she held her leg in her hand while she moved to the other side. Having to stop several times as the pain became too much, she finally closed the gap and ran her fingers over Declan’s chest.
“Declan?” she whispered.
She laid her hand over his heart but couldn’t feel anything. Moving her hand to his neck, she tried to find his pulse. Nothing. Making one last attempt, she lifted her hand to just below his nose to see if she could feel him exhale, but again, she felt nothing.
“Declan? You can’t leave me. You can’t die.”
She laid her head on his chest and sobbed. All she wanted was to hear his heart beat. She’d give anything to hear it.
“Please Declan,” she pleaded. “You can’t die. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to be together. And raise a family together. And grow old together. Enjoy our grandchildren together.”
She lifted her head to look at him once more. Raising her hand, she gently turned his head so he faced her. His eyes were open, but the soft blue had gone cold. She raised her hand and carefully closed his eyes.
She was alone now.
Another person she loved had left her.
A voice kept ringing in her ears.
You’re alone.
You’re alone.
You’re all alone.
Anger began to build inside her as she balled her hands into fists and began hitting his chest.
“How could you do this to me?”
“How could you leave me?”
“I have no one. NO ONE!”
“I trusted you, damn it!”
“I loved you, and you left me!”
“Why did you leave me?
“Why did you have to go?”
Her breathing was labored as she continued to curse and yell and hit the body of the man she loved. The pain in her leg forgotten, the only thing she could concentrate on now was the pain in her heart.
Another person she loved left her.
She was all alone. Again.
*beep* *beep* *beep*
Madison’s eyes flew open as she sat up. She was breathing hard and the t-shirt she was wearing was dripping with sweat.
Her eyes scanned the room. It took a few seconds for her to realize she was in her bed. In Ryan and Cody’s house. There wasn’t a tree or damaged airplane to be found. She threw the covers back and saw her leg was completely fine.
She was safe.
She dropped her head back to her pillow as her hand went to her heart and tried to calm her breathing.
You’re okay. Everything is okay.
And if she was okay, that meant Declan was okay, too.
She took a moment to calm herself, but suddenly, the bloody images of Declan flooded her mind and they felt real. Too real.
She needed to see him. She needed to see he was okay.
Reaching over to turn off the alarm, she hit the button on her phone and sprung out of bed.
Madison tore out of the driveway and sped down the side streets. As soon as she reached the Causeway, she pressed down on the accelerator.
She would have made it in record time if only the police officer hadn’t stopped her.
“License and registration, please.”
She looked up at the man in blue and didn’t even flinch at how good looking he was. She had only one man on her mind, and the guy standing in front of her didn’t even come close.
“Sure.” She sighed as she dug into her purse and produced the requested information.
“Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Because I was going faster than I was supposed to?”
“Correct. And do you know how fast you were going?”
“Honestly, I don’t.”
He looked at her and took in the state of her hair and clothes.
“Just where were you headed in such a hurry?”
“North of here. I need to see my boyfriend.”
“And why’s that?”
Madison looked at him. He wasn’t the person she wanted to be talking to. “Have you ever had a dream that was so real you just couldn’t shake it?”
The officer looked at her with a confused expression.
“I dreamt this morning that I lost my boyfriend in a really bad plane crash. He’s a pilot, among other things. I need to tell him ...”
Her face started to contort and her breathing got faster.
Why didn’t I see this before?
“I … I need to tell him … Ohmygod.”
The lightbulb finally went off in her head.
“I love him.” The words came out as decisively as if she were telling him the sky was blue. “I need to tell him I love him. Please, can’t you just -“
“Actually, I know exactly what you’re talking about.”
“You do?”
“Unfortunately, yeh. Just sit tight. I’ll be right back.”
The officer turned and went back to his cruiser while Madison impatiently tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. She just wanted to see Declan. She knew she was speeding, and she definitely deserved the ticket, but couldn’t the world give her a break? Just this once?
After what seemed like an eternity, the officer finally reappeared at her window.
“Ms. Quinn, I do understand what you were talking about. And I get it. And I’m happy for you and your boyfriend. However, you were going twenty over the limit.”
Madison sighed. She wished he’d just hurry the fuck up and give her the ticket so she could be on her way.
“I checked your record and you’ve never had any speeding tickets.”
Madison shook her head. She hadn’t. She wasn’t sure how, but she hadn’t.
“Maybe it’s because I just got married, or maybe it’s because I did some pretty stupid things while I was dating my wife, but … I’m going to give you a warning, this time.”
“What?” Madison asked, completely surprised.
“It’s not going to do either of you any good if you show up at his place dead. Pay attention to the speed limits, okay?”
“Yes, officer.”
“And good luck.” He smiled as he handed her the written warning.
“Thank you.”
The officer nodded and turned back to his car.
Madison couldn’t believe it. That should have been a huge ticket and he let her go with a warning.
Baffled, she wrapped the warning around her license and registration and quickly stuffed them in her purse. She was nervous as she started the engine. Turning on her blinker like she was a sixteen-year-old just learning how to drive, she carefully pulled onto the highway.
The rest of the trip seemed to crawl, and the closer she got to the house, the more she pushed the
speed limit. It would suck if she got pulled over a second time, but she was willing to chance it.
It wasn’t until she pulled into his driveway that she started to get nervous. There, alongside Declan’s Wrangler, were the cars for the rest of his family. She had completely forgotten they were all in town for the weekend. She hadn’t considered having to walk into his house with all of them there.
She hadn’t even taken a shower yet. She was supposed to have come over later in the day - when she would be dressed and ready. Then, she would have met Declan’s family.
She briefly considered driving back to Ryan’s house to clean up, but an image from her dream passed through her mind’s eye and she decided she needed to see him, even if she looked a mess.
Madison didn’t love a lot in her life, and if there was one thing she learned from Ellie, it was that she needed to tell people what they meant to her – even if that meant meeting Declan’s family looking like she did.
She pulled down the visor and flipped it open to reveal the mirror behind it. Her hair was a mess of curls and her eyes were puffy. She tried to calm the wildness of her hair, but the more she played with it, the crazier it got. Finally deciding to give up, she pinched her cheeks to give them some color and flipped the visor back up.
She walked to the door next to the garage and knocked. Waiting impatiently, she hoped it was Declan that would answer, not another member of his family. But after standing there for a time, she realized no one was going to answer it.
And then she heard laughter.
Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked to the front of the house. She looked up and could see people standing on the deck. Having met only Aidan, she wasn’t sure if she was looking at Rebecca or Erin, but she was sure the woman standing next to that person was Declan’s mom.
“Shit,” she muttered under her breath.
Nervously, she started to climb the wooden stairs. The higher she climbed, the louder it got.
She was quietly bashing herself to just get up the stairs when she heard, “Madison!!” followed quickly by the sound of someone racing down the steps.
Madison looked up to see Juliana charging down the steps toward her. “Hi, Juliana.”
The girl’s tiny arms wrapped around her waist as she came to a stop. Madison had to hang onto the railing to prevent them both from tumbling backwards down the stairs.
“Are you here to see Uncle Declan?”
She looked down at Juliana only to realize all the voices she heard before had gone quiet. She turned her face up to the deck and was greeted by several people peering over the edge.
“Hi.” The word was quiet as she scanned the individuals looking back at her
“I am,” she finally answered, looking back down at Juliana. “Is he on the deck?”
“I think so.”
Juliana smiled at Madison, then turned and ran back up the stairs. “Uncle Declan! Madison is here!”
It was not in Madison’s nature to blush. Ever. But she could feel the heat rising from her face as she continued up the stairs. She could also feel their eyes on her.
Thankfully, a familiar face met her at the top of the stairs.
“Hey, Madison. Nice to see you.”
“Hi, Aidan. You, too.”
He took in her appearance and immediately chose to tell her his brother’s location. He had learned not to mess with a woman on a mission and there was no doubt that was exactly what was happening. “I think Declan’s in the kitchen.”
She smiled nervously at him. “Thanks.”
With a nod and brief wave, she quickly walked across the deck and entered the house. She had only been there once, but knew right where the kitchen was from this door and headed straight there.
As she turned the corner, she saw Declan, whose back was to her, and a young woman with beautiful long hair the same color as his.
“Hey D,” the woman pointed with her chin, “it looks like you’ve got company.”
Declan turned and saw Madison standing there in an old t-shirt and pair of shorts. Her hair was all over the place and her face looked tired and a bit scared. It looked like something was wrong.
“Madison?”
“I … um …” Madison looked from Declan to the woman.
“Hi. I’m Erin, Declan’s sister.”
“I’m Madison.”
“Yeh, I kinda figured that,” Erin grinned as she walked past Declan toward Madison. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”
Madison heard little feet running toward them followed quickly by Erin’s voice. “Nope, let’s go this way, Jack. Uncle Declan needs a few minutes, okay? Let’s go find Juliana.”
“What’s the matter? Is everyone okay?” Declan was worried as he walked across the kitchen to her. It wasn’t like Madison to go out looking like this. He thought she looked beautiful, but he knew she would have wanted to put on her best presentation when she met his family. She still gave him a hard time for meeting Aidan for the first time after one of her kickboxing classes.
“Everyone is fine.” All the courage she’d had when she ran out of the house was gone. And there she was, trying to say to him the most difficult words she ever thought she’d say. “I needed to talk to you.”
“Okay.” Declan shifted the weight on his feet and put what he had been holding down on the counter. He wanted to give her his full attention.
“I …” She swallowed, trying to figure out how to start. “I had a dream this morning. You and I had been away in the mountains. You flew us there. We had just taken off to come home when the plane crashed. When I came to, all I could see were trees and broken glass.”
The same feelings she felt during the dream covered her from head to toe. She felt nauseas.
“And you,” her eyes started to tear, “you were hurt so badly. There was blood everywhere. Everywhere, Declan. You weren’t breathing and I couldn’t reach you.”
Declan couldn’t imagine having this dream, seeing Madison bloodied and injured and not being able to get to her. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing her.
“You died, Declan, in my dream. You died before…”
“Before what?” Listening to her and seeing the pain in her face, he knew what she needed to tell him. He knew because he’d been needing to say the same words to her.
“The chance to tell you …”
He put his hands on her arms in encouragement. “Tell me.”
Giant tears rolled down her face as she looked at him. The blue of his eyes was warm and soft, not at all like it had been in her dream.
“The chance to tell you … I love you.”
Declan’s hands went to her face as he gently held her. “Finally,” a soft smile spread on his lips.
“Finally?” she questioned.
He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. “I love you, too.”
“You do?”
“Yeh, I do.” He looked into her eyes and kissed her again. “I’ve been wanting to tell you, but didn’t want to scare you.”
Madison laughed, just once. “Yeh, that probably would’ve freaked me out.”
Declan grinned as he lowered his hand to hers and interlaced their fingers. “Come on. Follow me.” He led her upstairs to his room.
When they reached the room and the door had closed, he took her in his arms again. He started to lean in to kiss her when she stopped him.
“You’re not thinking … we can’t, not with your entire family downstairs …” she looked up at him, surprised.
“No,” he laughed. “Well, yes, actually. I would love to make love to you right now.” His arms tightened around her.
Madison’s breathing quickened just thinking about it. She wouldn’t mind that at all, not one bit.
“But no. I thought maybe you’d like to take a shower before I introduce you to everyone. I’m guessing you ran out of the house and didn’t remember everyone was here.”
“By the time I did remember, I didn’t really care.�
��
“Good.” He smiled as he turned again and led her into the bathroom, grabbing towels from the closet for her to use. “Let me go see if Erin or Rebecca have something you can borrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
Declan turned to leave when she stopped him. ”Hey, wait a minute.”
“Yeh?”
She wrapped her arms around his waist again and looked into his eyes. “I love you,” she whispered, just because she could.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was during her shower that Madison thought about her phone. When she realized Declan’s entire family was at the house, she should have called and asked him to come outside, that way she could have avoided having to walk past them all.
“Oh well,” she mumbled to herself as she shook her head.
She smiled as she thought about telling Declan she loved him. Jeremy was the only guy she’d ever said the words to, but when she said them to Declan, they felt so much more real. She’d do anything for him. And more than that, she’d do anything she could to see him happy. She thought about the conversation she had with Jessa when she told her she and Trent got married. It all made perfect sense now.
She was thankful he hadn’t said them first because he was right. It would have freaked her the hell out. This realization was something she’d needed to come to on her own. Declan telling her first wouldn’t have helped and probably would have pushed her away.
As she walked into Declan’s room, she noticed the clothes on the edge of his bed. There was a pair of jean shorts that looked like they should fit and a well-worn USC t-shirt. She held the shirt up to her nose and inhaled. It smelled exactly like Declan. She made a mental note to be sure to thank him for adding to her wardrobe because these wasn’t a shot in hell he was ever getting it back.
Dressing quickly, she found the hair dryer under the sink and used it long enough to take most of the wetness out, then tied her hair back into a ponytail. It wasn’t her most glamorous look, but it would have to do. And it was better than how she’d looked when she first arrived.
Feeling far more confident, she walked downstairs and out to the deck where everyone was gathered. She quickly scanned the space and saw Declan sitting in a rocker with a baby in his arms. He looked completely at ease.