by Kate Morris
She has not only missed conversing with him, she has missed this, this intimate connection that she has only ever felt with Cory and only Cory. She enjoys just talking to him more than any other person she’s ever known. And he’s so smart about things she doesn’t have a clue about like manly things like football and guns and building machines. She also remembers every little nuance of the way he moves, smells, tastes, every band and cord of muscle under her fingertips, the locks of his hair that tickle against her neck and chest, all of it. She has to clear her throat.
The warmth of the fire at her back feels divine. He reaches across the table and holds her hand. It’s all he can offer, but she’ll take what she can get. They have been separated for so long. The softness of his skin mixed with the hardness of his knuckles cause her to smile. His palms are calloused but soft on the backs.
“What are you smiling about?”
It does not fade as she leans on one elbow on the table to look at him.
“Nothing, I just missed talking with you like this,” she admits.
“Funny, I don’t remember us doing a lot of talking, woman,” he warns with a boyish yet devilish grin.
He toys with her fingers, which comes off as unusually sensual. Only Cory could make her feel that way. Paige can only manage a smile at his comment because the huskiness of his voice makes her want to climb across the table and attack him. He always has an odd, Cory-like phrasing that comes off as chauvinistic, as well as the messaging in the words. The meaning is clear, though. He never minces words or waxes poetic.
“I miss you, too.”
And she has. It’s true. She’s missed his companionship as well as the sex, which is otherworldly.
“Then marry me,” he says bluntly.
“Cory,” she returns in a more reprimanding tone.
He stretches across the table and sifts his fingers through her long hair, “We wouldn’t have to sneak around like teenagers anymore.”
“That’s true,” she admits, already having known this.
“So, let’s do it.”
She shakes her head slightly as he cups her cheek. “I don’t think now is a good time to even talk about this.”
“You said you’d consider it. Remember?”
“It was less than an hour ago. I remember,” she says.
He rubs her scalp. “Are you going to consider it?”
“Yes,” she says honestly. “I will. I still don’t want to get married, but I promised I’d consider it and I will.”
“Good,” he says and stands to add wood to the fire. Then he returns and kisses the tip of her nose. “And while you’re at it, think about kids.”
This upsets her. Just the idea of marriage is terrifying and out of her realm of comfortable thought. He must read her feelings because he explains.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about kids, especially since your miscarriage,” he says and pushes her hair off of her cheek and tucks it behind her ear. It is just as intimate in Paige’s opinion as what they’ve done together in the past, especially at the Belmont Mansion in Nashville. It makes her shiver, which in turn makes Cory smile.
“I don’t want kids. I don’t ever want to bring kids into this world. Look around, Cory. This isn’t exactly a utopia. It’s kind of the opposite.”
He shakes his head and smiles. “Yeah, I know. But I didn’t mean our kids.”
She tips her head to the side with confusion.
“I’m talking right now about Tessa. If you decide you want children of your own, then we’ll approach that later. For now, I just want to ask you about Tessa.”
“The little girl in town that you guys found and brought back?”
He nods. “Yeah, I think I might adopt her, or whatever I’d need to do now.”
“Really?” she asks with surprise. If he’d said he wanted to build a rocket ship and fly it to the moon tomorrow, she’d be less surprised. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am,” he says and squeezes her hand. “I’ve talked to the teacher and some of the other women in town who help take care of the orphans. She’s not doing well with any of them. They’ve all told me that she’s only responsive and active when I’m around. I even talked to Sam’s uncle about it. He said that maybe she had a relative that I remind her of. He said PTSD can be very different for children and that they compartmentalize things differently than adults. He said he thought the best thing was to try and offer her some sort of normalcy and stability, but that hasn’t happened yet with any of the people who have been taking care of her. She still barely speaks most days.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. And I’ve noticed that she lights up when you’re around. There’s a marked difference in her behavior. She even smiles sometimes.”
He nods. “It’s my charm and good looks, of course. Works on all the ladies.”
“And here I thought you’d grown humble in the time since we haven’t been allowed to be together.”
“Nope. Not a chance,” he says with a smirk. “Anyway, it’s probably stupid. I can’t be someone’s dad.”
He stands and arches his back to stretch, which draws her attention to his chest and biceps. Then Paige wonders if he does such things on purpose to distract her. If not, he’s much more innocent than she thinks he is. If so, then he’s precisely the cad she believes he is. Either way, he is a sight for sore eyes. Instead of gawking, she stares at the scratches on the small wooden table.
“I don’t think it’s a stupid idea at all,” she says and runs her fingertip over her bottom lip. “I think it’s actually a very mature, responsible thing to do. I just wonder if you realize what you’d be taking on. Kids are a lot of work and responsibility.”
“Yeah, but just till she’s eighteen,” he jokes. “Then we’ll throw her out of the house. Launch her, so to speak, make her get a job, send her to college, out into the world and all that.”
Paige chuckles and then asks, “We?”
“Yes, well, I wouldn’t be discussing this with you if I didn’t think you were going to be a part of this equation.”
“But I’d be a lousy mother,” she says. “Just the other day, Hannah left me in charge of Mary, and I forgot to wash her hair when I bathed her. Duh! Who does that?”
“Moms,” he says with a chuckle as he perches on the edge of the table and allows one leg to dangle over.
“I’d be the worst mother,” she reproaches. “I’m not fit to be anyone’s mom.”
“You’d be the best,” he argues softly and pinches her chin between his thumb and index finger, tipping her back to press a kiss to her mouth. He pulls back and stares down at her. “You’d make a great mom, Paige Murphy.”
She gives a half-snort. “I think you’re sex-crazy. The lack of sex is breaking your brain.”
“I am crazy about the sex, but my brain’s still intact. Sort of. They’re overrated anyway.”
She smiles and kisses the back of his hand. Paige is quite sure he has left her own chin red and abraded from kissing her because of the rough whiskers on his face. In his defense, she hadn’t exactly warned him she was coming to the cabin tonight.
“You’d be a really good dad,” she says quietly, hating the emotion that overwhelms her at those words.
“Nah, but I just hate seeing a kid like Tessa in so much misery. If I can help, I should. It’s the right thing to do. Kinda’ like marriage.”
“Clever,” she remarks dryly at his turn of words.
His grip on her hand tightens and he pulls her to stand between his legs, “You like that, huh?”
Paige offers a pout instead of a verbal reply.
“When do you have to start watch duty?” she asks a few moments later.
“Not for a few hours,” he replies.
Paige allows her hand to slide up his thick thigh, and he laughs a low, guttural sound deep in his throat.
“You really do want your brother to kill me, don’t you?” he asks with a loud laugh and seizes her straying hand.
; A while later after unfortunately just talking some more, he escorts her back through the rain, which has let up just slightly. Cory leaves her near the chicken coop so that she can go inside without them being seen together but not before kissing her one last time and reminding her to make good on her promise of considering marriage.
She jogs to the side door that leads into the mudroom, and a voice in the shadows startles her. She holds in a scream.
“Have a good talk?” Parker asks, his tone malevolent and strange and accusing.
“Excuse me?” she asks and reaches for the doorknob.
He simply chuckles and walks away into the dark night. She was definitely right. Weirdo.
Inside the mudroom, she disrobes from her wet garments and shoes and leaves them to dry. It is nearly one a.m. according to the grandfather clock in the hallway. There aren’t any lights on in the big house as she creeps through the hall that connects to the kitchen.
“Can’t sleep?” Sue calls out, scaring Paige.
“Crap,” she whispers under her breath. “Uh, yeah.”
Entering the kitchen, she locates Sue near the stove heating a glass baby bottle in a pan of water.
“Need help?” she offers.
“No, I think I’ve had some practice at this,” Sue says with a smile as she cradles Charlotte in one arm. The baby starts to fuss, so she removes the bottle from the pan and screws on the cap and nipple. “There you go, little one. We’re lucky. Some babies won’t switch from the real thing to a bottle. Guess this one knew her momma wasn’t always gonna be around for every feeding. No, she won’t. Your mommy’s a big nerd who likes studying science and diseases, isn’t she?”
Her softly spoken baby-talk is funny and contrasts with the strange topic. She takes a seat at the island and offers one to Paige. The faint light of the cloud-covered moon coming in through the wide window over the sink is the only light other than Sue’s dim lantern. They sit silently for a moment, both observing Charlotte suckling at the bottle.
“He’s more fragile than you think, Paige,” Sue says suddenly, surprising Paige.
“What…?”
“Cory,” she answers. “He’s tough and big and brave and likes everyone to think he’s some sort of invincible force not to be reckoned with. He’s like a little brother to me, not just Kelly’s little brother.”
“Yes,” Paige says stupidly and feels even worse.
“He’s in love with you,” Sue says plainly and swipes a strand of her light brown hair back behind her ear. “Please be careful with his heart. He’s not the type of man to give it lightly, especially after Emma died. She was his whole life other than Kelly. When he lost her, none of us thought he’d get over her, not ever. When he left, most of us lost hope he’d ever return after so many months went by.”
“I know,” she agrees. “I’ve heard.”
“I just don’t want to see him go through that again,” she says and levels Paige with a direct stare. “If you can’t give him what he needs, don’t break his heart. Let him go.”
She nods jerkily.
“I love Cory; we all do,” she tells Paige. “I think you do, too.” Then in a tone Sue does not normally use, she leans her head back and says loudly as if frustrated, “God, Paige! Don’t be afraid to lose yourself to something as significant as what Cory’s offering you. Don’t throw that away, not now, not when life is too precious and unsure, not when the world around us is so unstable.”
“But that’s exactly why I’m…” she states but cannot finish.
“I know, but that’s no reason not to try. We have to. If we don’t, then who will show the children of tomorrow the way? How will they learn to love and live full lives and trust? That’s all this crazy life is about anyway, love.”
Paige nods but does not answer because she is too overcome with emotion. She swallows hard and says, “But he could be killed. Everyone gets killed.”
“Not everyone. And people died every day before this all happened, too. Car accidents, cancer, murder. It was all there before, just in different ways. Derek could’ve been killed on deployment, so could John and Kelly. I could’ve been killed driving to the grocery store. You never know when it’s your time, but that doesn’t mean you can hide away from the rest of the world and never allow yourself to feel anything for someone. We can’t give up on each other. Don’t be so afraid of him dying that you refuse to let yourself live. You could make each other very happy. He’s so different around you, so…transformed.”
“I’m not giving up on Cory,” she argues.
“No, you’re giving up on yourself. And I think that’s worse.”
Paige tilts her head to the side not understanding Sue’s meaning.
“You aren’t being fair to Cory, but you aren’t being fair to yourself, either. You deserve to be happy. Heck, Paige, everyone deserves to be happy, even if it’s fleeting, even if it’s only going to last a few days. Why not give yourself over to that and let go, just surrender? You might like the outcome.”
A tear slips from Paige’s right eye, and she sniffs. She lost her dad, her mother was murdered, her boyfriend, her friends, Gavin, people she came to know and liked very well and cared about while traveling with different groups. Losing Cory would kill her.
“Just something to think about,” Sue adds and shifts Charlotte to her shoulder and begins patting her back. She rises from her barstool and walks toward the hall. “Take care of Cory’s feelings.”
“I will,” Paige says softly.
“And rinse that bottle for me,” Sue says with a light chuckle and leaves.
Paige smiles. The McClane women are not to be disobeyed. She washes and rinses the bottle and nipple and places them in the dish strainer to dry.
Then she heads upstairs and sits at her window seat for a while watching Cory’s cabin until she sees the light extinguish inside. When he emerges, ducking through the low doorframe, he is backlit only by the glow of the wood-burning stove behind him. A few moments later, she spots him again by the barn talking to Robert’s men, who he will relieve. He’s bigger than any of them, formidable and imposing. They all seem to like him, though. Both of Robert’s men burst out laughing at something Cory has said. It causes her to grin. He’s a lot like John in that respect, funny, class-clown, yet manly and a whole lot more inappropriate than John.
She has worked so hard to suppress, stifle, and smash down feelings for him that she has never considered allowing herself to love Cory. The men at the barn laugh again as Paige rises and changes into pajamas. She takes one last peek at Cory and sees the men have gone, and he is looking up at her. She sends a wave, which he returns. Then she turns off her bedside lamp and crawls under the thick bedding. However, the bed is cold, the sheets and the quilt, and especially her pillow cold. Everything about it just feels uncomfortable and chilling compared to the warm hands that had held hers only an hour ago.
Chapter Eight
Cory
He’s been flying around on a high since the other night with Paige in the cabin. It had been difficult not to pull her into his arms and kiss her after breakfast the morning after. Unfortunately, the whole family minus Doc, who’d stayed in town, had been there, including Simon, his biggest obstacle. Herb is working overtime on that cure for the Scarlet Fever kids. Cory’s not sure how he does it, not at his age. Simon said that they are seeing positive results from what they’ve done so far, which bolsters everyone’s hope. He said something about pairing Robert’s scientists’ manufactured drugs with oregano oil or oil of oregano- he didn’t remember what Simon explained to him five minutes after he explained it, but he’s glad if it’s working. Having Doc in town made the family nervous, so Dave sent a full-time guard to stay with Herb McClane twenty-four-seven. Everyone feels especially protective of Herb. It seems to Cory that he is the governor of their new civilization, albeit a reluctant one not voted into office but merely appointed by the people. He’s just important to everyone, and people look up to him. He’s been gone a wh
ile, and even at the farm, his absence is very noticeable. That was three days ago.
Now, Cory’s prepping to leave the farm to go with Paige and Simon on this intel run, and he’d like nothing better than to sneak off with her alone for a few hours or even a few minutes or just long enough for a kiss. Having her brother with them is going to be a bit of a problem, though. Some of Dave’s men are also supposed to be meeting up with them to join the task force.
“We need to get moving, or we’re going to be late,” Paige reminds them as she breezes through the mudroom, having just come in from the yard.
“We got this, sis,” Simon tells her as he jams clean rags into his backpack.
Cory knows these are used for medical purposes for wounds, so he really hopes they don’t get to make another appearance later. His shoulder graze was merely a tad more than a scratch. He doesn’t want to come back with holes in him, or more importantly, in his friend, and God forbid not in Paige.
“All right, guys,” she says to them. “I hear you, but I don’t see us pulling out. And your brother’s making out with his wife, so he’s definitely not ready to go.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t get pregnant again by ignoring him,” Cory remarks.
“Neanderthal,” she teases.
Her sass makes Cory want to yank her to him and kiss her senseless. Or spank her over his knee. Those ideas conjure up others that make him have to clear his voice. The other night in the cabin had taken about everything he had to resist her advances, and he’s not so sure he could do so again. Instead, he steals a quick glance at her derriere in her tight jeans as she’s leaving the room. He’s glad she’s gaining some weight. He was so worried about her after she was shot and then again after the miscarriage. He likes her curves. He likes her long legs even better.
“Hey,” Simon says, whacking the back of his shoulder.
Cory snaps out of it and looks at his friend, “What?”
“You know what,” Simon remarks angrily as Paige obliviously leaves the room. His friend has caught him ogling at his sister. “Cut it out, or you can stay here.”