Four sets of eyes were staring at me, waiting for some sort of…I had no idea what my family wanted from me. At best I would discuss with Emma our relationship, confess my love for her and hope she’d want to continue being with me. I had to convince her that we were good together. My closet was full of Emma’s clothes, just like my bathroom and the kitchen. Her studio on the other hand, well, I didn’t know what she did with my belongings. Trashed them after the doorman gave her the key that she requested back? Donated them to a charity? I sighed, hoping that like me, she was waiting for us to get back together.
“I don’t want the same things,” Emma said the day before, only a few minutes after we stopped from ripping each other’s clothes off in Gaby’s room. What did she know about what I wanted? No, the question I had in mind was—what did she want from me? I’d give her anything, my life if she wanted it; anything to be next to her.
Well, this conversation had nothing to do with them—my family—and everything to do with me. I still didn’t understand much what Mom wanted from me, but I opened up to the entire family for one time, no repetitions.
“Emma works in mysterious ways,” I began. “Tonight I planned on talking to her to see what was going on between us. Because obviously there’s still an us.” I placed my right hand over my chest and tapped while I talked. “However, she might surprise me and kick me to the curb. There’s not much I can do if that’s the case. Either way, like Liam,” I tilted my head toward him, “you can separate my relationship with her from the ones you are building. She doesn’t open up to people, but miraculously Emma likes you.”
“Translation.” Mitch stood up. “Most likely, they won’t fix much today, and my boy wants us to know that we don’t need to choose sides.” He arched an eyebrow at me after I gawked. “What, Jay? I’m telling the truth. As I told you before, you two are perfect for each other. She’s it for you if you did permanent. Are you telling me that you’re willingly going to change that?” He crossed his arms and challenged me. I looked down and thought about it, no, I wasn’t into permanent.
“Thought so.” Mitch didn’t wait for an answer. “You want to continue the open relationship—”
“Open?” Liam interrupted him. “They were exclusive.”
“I know.” Mitch’s eyes gave Liam an unfriendly glare. “Sarcasm, learn to interpret it. Jacob’s scared of titles and papers and the word forever—after the accident.” I hated when he gave away my feelings like they were his. “Until he cures that fear, Jay and Emma aren’t going to be ‘an item’.” With both hands he used his index and middle fingers to draw quotation marks in the air.
“I hate you, Mitchel,” I said, and walked toward the door because the conversation was taking on a tone I didn’t like. “My relationship with Emma will be as permanent as she wants. Are we done?” I touched the handle, and before I opened it, Mom talked.
“Will you tell me what happens between you two?”
I shook my head, the meddler was impossible.
“Give me a day, Mom.” Dad gave me that look of exasperation, while my brothers’ humorous eyes made me want to erase the internal smirk I knew both had going. “Twenty four hours, Mrs. Knight. Is that too much to ask?”
“I’m your mother.” She faked insult, then gave me a half smile. “Fine, Jay. One day, and then you’ll give me the good news.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” Mitch said before I left. If he was taunting me, I decided to ignore him and leave the room. Before meeting Em, I headed to my room. I needed to take a shower and clear my mind before heading toward Emma’s to have a long talk with the pretty girl.
Chapter 24
Emma
THE DARTH VADER entrance music began to play, a ringtone assigned to Bridezilla. She needed to confirm the next day’s plans, and give me a synopsis of the fabulous dinner she had. The chic, contemporary restaurant featured a menu to die for.
“My dinner alone cost over a hundred dollars.” So? You could feed an entire village in South America with that money. The conversation revolved around the places they’d visit for the honeymoon and her new in-laws. “Can you believe she wanted to discuss holidays? They aren’t Cade’s real family. Mom won’t like it if I fly to London for any holiday.” Rachel wouldn’t like if her nephew never showed up for any holiday.
“Who paid for dinner?” I asked, while I played Mitch’s conversation in my head. “Ed’s already footing a huge bill for your wedding.”
“The Knights have the money, Emma.” Her disdain confirmed Mitch’s point—great.
Plus she didn’t deny that they were paying for her bridal bash. “About tomorrow, you have the morning free. I reserved the bowling alley for five hours. Who would you like me to pair you up with?”
“Mitch.” I’d avoid Jake, and I enjoyed his brother’s company. But before she decided to pair me up in real life, I added a comment to shake her off my case. “Any of the Knights, they seem nice.”
Not letting her ask why I was mingling with the family, I jumped into explaining the dynamics of the bachelorette party, including Mitch’s new plan. We fused both groups into my party limo, upgrading it to a party bus and nightclub hopping all night. Friday I had a surprise for her, her Mom, the bridesmaids and the mother of the groom—Rachel. I’d take them to an all day spa, from ten to seven. The package included lunch and dinner. Everyone would be rested and ready for the morning wedding on Saturday. Pacified she hung up, but not before she reminded me about the bridesmaids’ gifts. We bought them a couple of months ago, and I guarded them with my life—she tended to lose everything.
Before I undressed to take a relaxing bath in the huge Jacuzzi bath tub, my phone rang at the same time that someone knocked at the door. Grandma Lily and Jake—double whammy. What was he doing here? Didn’t I make it clear that I made a mistake yesterday? I ignored the door in hopes that he would go away.
“Emma, I’m happy to hear from you.” Internally I wanted to scream at her, because the last time we were together she was washing her hands of any responsibility that included me. She and Grandpa didn’t want to take me for a few months. “You and that sister of yours have been avoiding us for years.”
“Hi,” I said instead of hanging up on her. “Well, I’ve been busy for the past few years with school, grad school and work.”
“Em, baby, open the door.” Another round of knocks hit my door. “I can hear you from here.”
Right, I was on the phone, and with his impressive super-hero hearing he had detected me.
“Well, dear, why don’t you come on Sunday?” she asked. I shook my head and opened the door, before Jacob continued with those loud knocks and disturbed the other guests.
“No, I can’t, I leave Sunday morning,” I answered Grandma, while Jake’s puzzled stare tried to decipher my call. “Tomorrow would work for me, Grandma Lily.”
I hoped that the short notice would get me out of seeing them. The only reason I contacted her was because Grampy asked me to. That sounded terrible and insensitive, but they didn’t care much about me when I lost my parents. Neither one took the forty five minute drive to come and see what happened to their son when I called them. Where were they when I needed them to support me?
“I’ll move a few things around and we’ll do breakfast, at nine,” she said, surprising me, because the woman was inflexible when it came to her schedule.
“Sounds good,” I twisted my mouth after saying it. There wasn’t much I could say to get out of the ordeal. She at least was trying. If I remembered her well, changing her schedule for an impromptu visit was out of her character. “I’ll call the concierge and have him schedule a cab for tomorrow at eight.” Jake shook his head.
“I’m taking you,” he said, and pulled out his phone. “Mom, Emma’s grandma called, she’s having breakfast with her tomorrow at nine.” I scowled. “Would you guys be—hold on, Mom. Everyone, I don’t think—fine, meddler.” He pushed the mute button before speaking. “Em, Mom wants to know if we all can com
e to meet your grandma.”
I shook my head, because they shouldn’t and wouldn’t and couldn’t and…what a mess. I scratched and crinkled my nose and scratched my arm and Jake smiled.
“We want to be there with you, Emma.” He removed a lock of hair from my face, delicately placing it behind my ear—so freaking hard. “Ask your grandma, Pretty Girl.”
“Grandma Lily,” what could I say, my bosses family wants to meet you, and by the way I used to screw his brother? “I’m not alone, Ed and Rachel Knight, along with their children would like to have the chance to meet you. Will it be possible?”
“Children?”
“Adults, they are in their late twenties. There are three of them to be precise.”
“Well then, we’ll move it to nine thirty.” Who was this woman? “That gives me plenty of time to set things for six. See you then, Emmy, I’m glad you called.”
“Nine thirty,” I said to Jake.
“You heard?” Jake asked over the phone. “Well, subject to change of course. In the morning, Mom, please. You promised twenty four hours, not minutes.” He smiled fondly at the phone. “Love you too.”
“We need to talk,” Jake prompted.
His green eyes searched my face. The earlier lust and desire was gone and my head celebrated and filled with joy. I was relieved, because Jake had a strong sexual power over me and it was hard to reject him. Why did we need to talk, I remembered him saying that Chloe called and we needed to talk the prior day. The second time he said it was just when he was about to unzip my jeans and common sense hit him. Jake was here, clean clothes, wet hair—fresh one hundred percent male. But my sister? Did he sleep with her? No, no, no, did he fuck Chloe? Was he another notch under her belt? Oh, no he paid for it. I began to walk slowly toward the bathroom, I wasn’t having this conversation.
“Emma we need to talk,” he repeated, trying to stop me before I shut the door, but I was faster. “Open the door, baby, this is important.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I responded, like a bratty two year old. “Chloe, you, we need to talk, doesn’t sound appealing, Jake. Add to the mix that I don’t want to discuss my sister with anyone.”
“Don’t be disgusting, Emma.” His deep laugh annoyed me. “Her picture brought up something I’ve been hiding from you, Em. But it has nothing to do with me sleeping with the whore.”
“Don’t call her that.” I slapped against the door. “You have no right.”
“Fine, Emma. Though you need to know that I never paid for sex, nor will I ever do that, babe.” I heard him taking a deep breath. “Chloe’s a sensitive subject for you, I get it. Now come out and let’s talk.”
“I don’t want to know.” There was no way I’d be talking with him about my sister. “Or maybe I do. Did she meet the girl you almost married and abandoned you at the altar? Is that the reason you do light and casual?”
“No, no lost love, now open.”
“You’re gay?”
“Really, Emma?”
“Bi?”
“Stop guessing and come out, now.”
“Married, a love child, or—”
“Emma, stop, please.” He began to fiddle with the door. “Open up or I’ll take this fucking door down. I’m not baring my soul through a door while you are inside a bathroom. No, I’m not married. Think about it. Your presence in my flat is evident. The fish deliveries still happen, a wife wouldn’t have allowed such, would she? We shared too much time together, where can I fit in a wife. And as for a child, if I had one, you would have met him or her. Now open or I’ll call the manager to open the door.”
“Talk.” I opened the door agape. “What on earth did Chloe know that I don’t?”
“Nothing.” He confused me more. “My leg.” He pointed to the leg he hurt while hiking the Alps. “I didn’t hurt it while hiking, I lied to you. No one knows exactly what happened to me, well I know part. Everyone involved during the attack died. At eighteen, after I finished college, an agency approached me. As far as the world knows, they don’t exist. They trained us to be spies, soldiers, pilots…and more. I was good, no, perfect.”
Not a sentence I wanted to hear, he was good meant everything ended. I opened the door headed to the bed, where I sat and used the headboard to support my back. I then patted the bed and asked him to join me. He sat next to me, and pulled me to him hugging my entire body with one arm. I rested my head on his shoulder and my hands on his torso. Whatever he was about to say wasn’t going to end pretty.
“I had people under my command from the day I graduated. We had many successful operations, but I lost a few good men. Some because they lost a limb, their sanity or just didn’t want to continue. I did. Three years later all the men under my command died, all except two. Every night I take five minutes—perhaps more—to go through the entire operation and what went wrong. What I did wrong. Don’t tell Mom, she thinks I moved on. I did, but not entirely. My men died, and it was my fault. Emma, because of some fucking miracle I survived. The short and sweet of it, babe, my second in command and the pilot saved me. They stayed behind, thank God. The doctors saved my leg, my family helped me with the recovery and I’m here. It took me a long time to recover physically, and more to recover emotionally. I won’t give you the gory details, but you’ll learn them later.
“The fact that I survived after I fucked up didn’t seem fair. It took me awhile to understand that destiny plays a big role in what happens to you, even when you fight it. They discharged me; too physically and mentally damaged to continue had been the verdict. I couldn’t be part of their elite group. And before you ask, tights weren’t part of the uniform. Chloe met me at my worst, Emma. We hate each other, and she called me cripple. I supported myself with a cane back then. It was a long journey from the time of the attack. It took me more than a year to walk without aids—crutches, then a cane—but with the help of my family and therapists I walked again. Once I became strong enough, my need to demonstrate that I could do what I used to and other factors, pushed me to open the surveillance and security company, gathering the best people that…well that’s something I can’t talk about. Anyway, after seeing her today….” I moved from his side and stared at him, while the tears stopped and I felt the blood drain to my feet. He saw her? That’s impossible. “Sorry, I meant her picture. I remembered you needed my story, baby, because you deserve to know as much as I can tell.”
For a long time I hugged him tight and didn’t say a word. Images of a wounded Jake made me scared. Not my Jacob Knight, he was indestructible. I tried not to cry, but I couldn’t hold back the tears. Yeah, he might not want a commitment, but he was a nice guy. And I cared so much about him, so freaking hard. I loved him.
“You’re still my hero,” I told him, and he held me tighter. “I’m sure you’re aware of that.”
“You fired me, Emma,” he responded, and glided his arm up and down my back gently. “When you discharged me, it hurt more than when they gave me the pink slip. Please, do me a favor Emma, tell me exactly why you ended this. No lies, or hidden agendas, just honesty. I remember you said no light and casual. Why?”
“I can’t, Jake.” I shook my head.
“Please,” he whispered quietly. The man bared his soul to me, kind of, and he deserved the truth.
“This explanation goes backwards, from the last drop until the…beginning, I guess. No interruptions.”
Chapter 25
Emma
“I WANT MORE; A family.” It was that simple. It was a short statement on my part to begin to unravel what I felt inside. “Almost four months ago, when Grampy got hurt, I forgot to take my pill, and I barely ate. It was hard. My only family was crumbling and I was alone. I threw myself more into work and forgot to eat and do the basics. My perfect period… I was late. But I didn’t panic, the thought of being pregnant kind of filled my heart a little.” The mix of all Grampy’s lectures had cushioned the fear and gave me some family-hope.
“Were you?” he asked. I didn�
��t see his face but he didn’t sound alarmed.
“No interruptions, I said, Pretty Boy.” I remembered the day I got my period, and a few tears appeared. “No, I wasn’t and I cried, because suddenly I realized I wanted everything—a family and babies. Grampy’s lectures had been going on, about me not having a support system, only them. What would happen if they died? They worry about my future. Since my parents died I’ve been by myself. That’s when I realized you and I couldn’t continue. I wanted more than—”
“A kiss goodnight.” I nodded. “A kiss good morning with the man who loves you?” he asked, and turned me toward him. “Time together in foreign locations and sharing everything but our pasts? Making love at night, morning and every other lunch time we could sneak? Me taking care of you even when you refused?”
“I said no interruptions, Jacob Knight.” He mouthed sorry. “Yes, you offered light and casual until the other one wanted something different and we’d call it off. My feelings for you evolved—did you just said that you—”
“Love you?” He kissed my nose before I scratched it. “I’m pretty sure I did, baby. To which I expected more than being chided by you, but then it’s you, Emma. Nothing that you do is expected. Yes I love you, and I agree this started as a fling because neither of us was ready, but hell you have wrapped me around your little finger since we got stuck inside the box of doom.”
“Interrupting.” I playfully elbowed him. “I never told you about Max, my nephew. He…I found out about him and babysat the six month old baby boy for an entire week. We fell in love with each other.” I smiled fondly at the memory of the little guy who cried when I had to give him away. “That was eight months ago.” No one knew about that week and everything that had happened.
Most of it was my fault, I knew it. If I hadn’t been selfish, and procured for my sister, things would’ve turned out different for them. Chloe considered me her next of kin, while I had no emergency contact. In case of an accident I always left that line blank, because if I had one…there was no one to pick up my dead body or get me out of jail. I turned to look at Jake who had switched our bodies in a way that I ended up cradled in his arms.
Getting by (A Knight's Tale) Page 16