by Andrew Grey
I rolled onto my back to dry off on that side. Closing my eyes, I let the din of the people around me fade, but I instinctively knew where Dieter was.
“Maybe we should think about going back to the room,” Dieter offered.
“If that’s what you want to do, we can,” I offered, making no effort to move. I felt more than saw Dieter sit up, staring out at the waves. I lay still, just soaking in the fact that I didn’t have to do anything or be anywhere. “Are you getting sunburned?”
“No. But I have sand in my hair and in places I don’t think sand was meant to be.” He chuckled softly. “I used to think that making love on the beach would be fun. Not anymore.”
I laughed outright. “Jeremy did that once. He brought a girl down here after he graduated, and they thought it would be fun to get busy on the beach. Apparently they both ended up with sand in awful places. Jeremy walked funny for a few days after he got back because of the chafing.” I frowned. “He and I used to talk about things then. Now we’re almost enemies.”
“What changed?” Dieter asked.
I tried to put my finger on the one thing and realized I didn’t have an answer. “Part of it might have been my stepdad dying. He was a real peacemaker and so easygoing. I wanted to please him, and once Jeremy got over the ‘you’re not my dad’ stuff, he wanted to please him too. There wasn’t loads of tension in the house because Mom wasn’t stirring things up all the time. She was happy then too, and we all wanted it to stay that way.”
“So he was the… glue, just like my mom.”
“I think so. After he died, we all pulled together for a while, but then things fell apart. Ella had a real hard time, and Mom couldn’t deal with her. The rest of us were grieving, and she ended up alone and getting hurt a lot.” I could see it now that I looked at the dynamics without a huge bundle of emotion surrounding them. At the time there had been only pain and loss. I suppose for Ella that was still present. “I hate how quiet I was when it came to her.” I realized I really should have spoken up long before now—she deserved that.
“You were a kid.” Dieter rested his hand on my shoulder. “We all do stupid things when we’re kids. I know I did my share. But we aren’t kids anymore.”
I groaned and turned onto my side. It took more effort than I wanted to expend in my relaxed state. “But sometimes I want to go back to that. I want to be that carefree and not have to worry about all the stuff I do now. Things were easy then. Now, more often than not, I feel like I’m the parent and my mother is the child I have to take care of.” I closed my eyes and willed all those cares out of my head. “Can we talk about something else? Something more pleasant?”
Dieter chuckled. “How about where we’re going to eat dinner?”
“You have a one-track mind.” I patted his belly. “We can eat wherever you’d like. I brought a nice pair of pants and a button-down shirt. As long as you don’t make me put on a tie, I’ll go anywhere with you.”
Dieter hummed. “So a tie is the deal breaker?” he teased. I liked that he could tease and laugh with me. I felt I could do the same.
“Those are for funerals and weddings, and this is neither.” I pulled out my phone and did a search. “There’s a German restaurant.” I passed it over to him and let him scroll through the menu to see how it looked.
“Wow. This isn’t what I was expecting. The family immigrated not too long ago.” Dieter’s stomach growled, and I took that as its seal of approval.
“It may not be as good as the things you get at home,” I offered, figuring we could go somewhere else. It wasn’t a requirement, but I thought Dieter might be getting a hankering for a taste of home. “We can find a different restaurant if you want.”
“No. Let’s eat there.” He handed me back the phone, and I closed my eyes once again.
I must have dozed off. When I woke, the sun had shifted once more, though thankfully I was still in the shade. Dieter and I packed up our things and walked back up to our hotel.
In the room, I got undressed and into the shower to rinse off the sand. Dieter knocked and then joined me. The door opened briefly as Dieter climbed in behind me and pulled me to him.
“Hey, is this okay?”
I shivered as his hands roamed over my belly. “Yeah.”
Dieter kissed my shoulder, holding me from behind, which was good, because I didn’t want to fall and end up on my butt on the tile. It seemed he had the same idea, cradling me in his arms as his hot body pressed to mine, his hand roaming lower, fingers sliding over my balls and then along my cock, which now pointed toward the ceiling. I closed my eyes, letting the water wash over me, as he gripped my cock and stroked slowly.
“Damn, you’re hot as hell,” Dieter whispered, and I pressed back against him, his cock sliding along my butt. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted, but I knew desperately that I wanted more.
Slowly, Dieter turned us around, then pressed me to the tile. I plastered my hands against it, not sure what Dieter had in mind at first until he slid his hands down my back to part my cheeks.
I moaned as Dieter kissed his way down my back. My legs shook as he got lower. I groaned sharply as he buried his face between my cheeks, heat sparking through me as Dieter kissed and licked me… there.
I tried to catch my breath and nearly failed, my mind clouding over as Dieter took me to a place I had only imagined actually existed. I pressed harder to the tile, not trusting my legs alone to hold me up as my head went on flights of fancy driven by Dieter’s energy.
I had watched videos of this sort of thing, but never imagined that anyone would ever rim me, and now I leaned breathlessly between the tile and Dieter, cock pressed to the coolness of the wall, throbbing as Dieter took me higher and made my head seem to float away from the rest of my body.
“I want you, Dieter.”
His lips pulled away, replaced by fingers that teased me, sending ripples upon ripples of unabashed desire rushing through me. It took mere seconds for me to realize that I was completely in Dieter’s hands. Any desire for me to take any sort of control had long evaporated.
“Yes.” I had fantasized about this—full-on sex. In my fantasies… well, I had never imagined the intensity or the way Dieter made me feel. It was so far out of my scope of reality that I’d had no idea it was possible to feel like this. My head alternated between floating and being about to explode.
“I don’t have things in here,” Dieter whispered. “We’ll need supplies….” He reached for the soap and lathered up before washing my entire body slowly.
I had thought sex was intense, but this was amazing. The care he took with me, both washing away my worries and stoking my passion. By the time he was done, I wasn’t sure what was to come, but I was ready for just about anything.
Dieter turned off the water and got towels, then dried my back before handing me the towel so I could finish while he dried himself. When we were done, he opened the bathroom door and led me out into the room. He’d already turned down the bed, and began kissing me backward, more and more, until the mattress bumped the back of my legs. Then he guided me down, his kisses becoming harder, his tongue exploring my mouth while his arms and hands cradled me. He laid me back on the mattress, climbing onto the bed.
I didn’t want to miss a second and was scared to blink. Dieter took his time, exploring my body as he stoked the heat from inside.
As my patience ran thin, Dieter slinked down me, kissing his way lower until he closed his lips around my cock. This was familiar and delightful territory. I bucked lightly as Dieter slipped a finger next to my cock, wetting it before pulling away to tease my opening in preparation.
The pressure was divine, and Dieter moved upward to slant his mouth over mine, kissing me deeply as he held his finger still, giving me a chance to get used to the intrusion. I loved how he took his time, his gaze rarely leaving mine while he prepared me. The more care he took, the more intense my desire became, until I begged him. I was ready and needed him.
; I probably didn’t pay as much attention to the precautions Dieter took as I might have, but I heard the tear of foil and felt Dieter fumble between us. Then Dieter pressed into me. I gasped as my body opened and took him slowly. He whispered sweetnesses in my ear, kissing me softly as he sank into me. My eyes crossed and I blinked to clear my vision as our bodies joined together. He held me close, going slowly.
“Dieter…,” I begged. “Please… if you take more time, I’m going to explode here.”
Dieter’s chuckle rumbled in his chest. “That’s what I want. You should be so turned on, your head feels like it will burst.”
“I’m there… God, I’m there.” I clutched Dieter as he moved inside me, desperate for just a little more, and he delivered. He leaned over me, kissing as he slowly rocked his hips.
It was as though I were connected to him. I wanted and needed him and everything he had to give me. I was no longer a virgin, wondering what it felt like to be with someone in the most intimate of human experiences, the joining of hearts and bodies. He drove me upward second by second, and I clutched him, afraid I was going to explode into a million pieces, while at the same time, my own body gave me pleasure in a way I had never imagined.
“You’re amazing,” Dieter whispered as he drove into me.
I moved with him, the two of us joined together in a dance I wanted to last, and yet my own traitorous body wasn’t going to hold out much longer. Dieter seemed to know exactly what I wanted and gave it to me, holding me close as he snapped his hips, driving me out of my mind, and within seconds I came in a rush that left my mouth dry. I clamped my eyes closed because of the intensity and held on to Dieter as my entire body was wracked with indescribable pleasure that I hoped would never end.
Chapter 8
“ARE YOU sore?” Dieter asked the following evening as I fidgeted in the passenger seat once we’d left Ocean City behind.
I nodded slightly but wouldn’t have changed a thing. It was the best kind of soreness, and once I was comfortable, I leaned back and let the landscape outside the car swoosh by. I already had the best view, and that was the driver next to me.
“I’m fine,” I said happily, pulling down the visor to check the mirror. “Jesus….” I had enough marks on my neck for anyone to know what we’d been up to, but I didn’t mind in the least. My lips were swollen, red, and tingled when I licked them. I looked debauched, and damn it all, I couldn’t remember being happier. If a little was a good thing, then a lot of debauchery with Dieter was amazing.
I sat quietly as we rode, my mind on what was to come. For two whole days, I’d been able to put out of my head exactly what was on the horizon. But in a few days, the man I’d fallen in love with would go back to Germany. I couldn’t ask him to stay longer, though I wanted to. I wished Dieter lived in St. Giles and the two of us had time to maybe build a life together and explore the way things could be. But that wasn’t going to happen; I knew that. Dieter was going to go back home, and though we’d probably see each other when he came to visit and I could visit him, it wouldn’t be the same. One of us would always have to leave.
“What are you thinking about?” Dieter asked.
I didn’t want to say. Uttering the words would make it real. The air-conditioning was on a low setting, which normally would have been too warm, but I was cold and growing more so by the minute.
“I don’t want you to go,” I finally said. “I like having you here, and I’m happy.” I reached across the console and took his hand. “It took me a long time to find you.” It felt like I’d been looking for him since puberty, and now he was going away. I took a deep breath because I didn’t want to sound like a whiny child. He had his world back in Germany, and I had mine here. That was all there was to it. We’d only known each other for a few weeks, so it wasn’t like I could expect him to leave his home on a whim. “But I know you have to go home, and I need to figure out what I’m going to do here.”
“I don’t want to go either, but I have to.” He squeezed my fingers. “I’ve been away for quite a while, and there are a lot of things I have to attend to for the family.”
He held my hand as he drove, and I closed my eyes once again. There was no way I was going to be able to say anything more. He had to go, and my work was here. Other than Ella, there was very little keeping me here in that regard.
I wished things were different, but I had to accept reality for what it was. “I fell in love with you,” I said quietly, knowing it wasn’t going to change anything. It was simply a fact.
“I know.” Dieter squeezed my fingers. “I did the same. I told myself that I was going to back away and put some distance between us. I kept telling myself to do that, and then I’d see you and all those good intentions went up in smoke. I couldn’t stay away no matter what I did. So, I’m sorry….” He glanced at me and then turned back.
I blinked, trying to make sense of what he’d said. “What do you have to be sorry for? I don’t understand.” I released his hand, turning to look at him.
“I’m older and should have seen what was coming and backed away. This… between us was only ever going to lead to heartbreak for both of us.”
I saw red for a second. “That’s bullshit. It takes two to get into this situation, and we both went willingly. Answer honestly. Would you really change anything?” I swallowed hard. Now that I’d asked the question, I was afraid of the answer.
“Honestly…?” Dieter bit his lower lip, and I could see the war in the twilight that shone in the windows. “No.”
“What took so long?” I had the answer I wanted, but was it the real one? “Aren’t you sure?”
Dieter humphed softly. “I wondered, if I’d have lied, it would have spared you some pain in the long run, but you deserved the truth. If I had it to do over again, I’d follow you back to the Bay to watch the birds, and I’d still sit with you on the dock and dance with you at the party. I’d still go away with you to Ocean City. I’d change nothing, and even though it’s going to hurt like hell when I go home, I’d still fall in love with you. You made me happy.” He slowed as we approached the turnoff for St. Giles. “So honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing, except for the ending.” The inevitable and sucky ending.
“Me too,” I said softly. “This place isn’t going to feel the same without you. I’ve lived here all my life, and it wasn’t until I met you that I saw the real color and beauty here… of life.” And what the hell was I going to do when he left, start painting in black and white because Dieter was going to take the color with him? I wish to hell I knew.
“We still have a few days,” Dieter offered.
I nodded. “I have to work tomorrow, but maybe I could sketch you before you go.” I had an idea bubbling up in the back of my mind, starting to take shape.
“Certainly.”
We pulled into town and up to my house. He stopped the car, and I leaned over the seat to hug him and take a kiss. I needed one. My heart was holding itself together by the last strands, and it would stay that way for a few days before those strings unraveled.
Ella came out the front door and raced up to the car, her eyes wide and her hair a mess, eyes puffy from crying.
“What is it?’ I asked after getting out, hugging her.
“Jeremy and your mom had a fight. A big one. She was really upset with him.” Ella clung to me. “Jeremy hit her and then ran off.”
“What was the fight about?” I asked, trying to soothe her so she could speak clearly. It was hard to understand her words between the gasped tears.
“Jeremy was fired from the porcelain works. I guess he’s been showing up either drunk or hungover since he didn’t get that promotion, and he’s been causing trouble. His supervisor told him this afternoon. I got home from my class, which I finished and passed.” She flashed a smile, and I squeezed her. That was the really important news as far as I was concerned.
“Sweetheart…,” I prodded as Dieter came around the car to join us.
“Yeah… sorry�
��. He came home all angry at you because he thought you must have said something to either Dieter or Mr. Bartholomew in order to get him fired.” She rolled her eyes. “Like him being drunk wasn’t enough. And I heard he opened a kiln before it was properly cool and everything inside shattered.”
“Okay, honey. Why did he and Mom have a fight?”
“He came home and raced upstairs to your room. He wanted to find you. When you weren’t there, he broke some things, and Mom told him to get the hell out of the house.” She did a pretty good imitation of Mom’s voice. It would have been funny if my heart weren’t racing a mile a second.
“Is Mom okay?” I led her toward the house, prioritizing things in my head. Ella nodded, and I hurried toward the house with Ella and Dieter behind me. I found Mom in her chair, crying into one of my stepdad’s handkerchiefs. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.” She sniffled. Her right cheek was red and looked tender.
“Get Mom some ice for her cheek,” I asked Ella, and she hurried off. I sat on the sofa next to Mom. “What happened? Ella told me part of it.”
Mom took a shaky breath. “He was angry and swore that you were behind him getting fired. But I knew you had nothing to do with it. You haven’t even been home, and he’s been drinking so much. Had been all last night and this morning before work.” She blinked and got control of herself. “He went into your room, but I told him to get out of there. He hit me and pushed me out of the way, and then he ran out of the house with your medal.” She rubbed her eyes, and Ella handed her a bag of ice in a towel. Mom put it on her cheek. “He said he knew you were behind this and he was going to make you pay.”
I looked at Dieter and then headed up the stairs. My bedroom door was open and there were shards of porcelain on the floor. I carefully checked under the bed and then the closet. It seemed Jeremy had only attacked my porcelain works. They had been swept off the dresser and lay in broken shards on the floor. Among them was the first piece I’d ever painted and the first piece I’d done that had been accepted and turned into a production design. They were gone. But the one I was going to miss most was the piece I’d made for my stepfather before he died. I’d done a trout for him because he’d asked me to, and at my feet was a piece of the plate with the tail of the fish. Everything else was a jumble.