Daniel’s eyes flickered strangely as he came towards her, then, sliding his hand beneath her hair to the nape of her neck, he drew her towards him relentlessly and kissed her long and hard on the mouth until she trembled against him. ‘Does that answer your question?’
‘A marriage built on a purely physical foundation doesn’t sound very secure to me,’ she argued shakily, his nearness affecting her pulse rate. ‘What happens when I no longer attract you physically?’
‘That’s the future, Joanne,’ he remarked softly, his fingers making persuasive little movements against her neck. ‘What we’re discussing now is the present.’
‘But the present affects the future. A real marriage carries with it certain responsibilities which can’t always be ignored. ’
‘I don’t think you’ll find me the kind of man who would shirk his responsibilities,’ he informed her with the semblance of a smile on his lips. ‘Am I?’
‘No,’ she admitted readily, ‘but I wouldn’t want a husband who felt honour bound to remain with me. ’
‘Joanne, let’s stop evading the issue. Will you become my wife in the true sense or not?’ he demanded, his hand sliding down the centre of her back to draw her closer, but she twisted herself free and put some distance between them.
It was no longer merely a question of saying yes or no to Daniel’s suggestion. There was a confession she had to make before she could hope to experience any happiness at all with this man she loved so deeply, and it was a confession she could not delay a minute longer, judging by his impatience. If he still wanted her afterwards then she would accept what he had to offer, and pray that the future would afford her the opportunity to make him care.
‘Before I give you my answer, Daniel, there’s something I have to tell you,’ she began, facing him with a feeling of trepidation.
His glance flicked lazily over her. ‘Are you going to tell me you snore in your sleep?’
‘Daniel, be serious, please!’ she begged.
‘Very well, I’m listening,’ he laughed mockingly, but Joanne, faced with the moment of truth, found her courage wavering as she sought desperately for some way of breaking the news to him gently. ‘Well?’ Daniel demanded eventually, his expression indicating that his patience had been tried to the utmost. ‘Are you going to tell me or aren’t you?’
‘Daniel, I—’ She broke off abruptly, passing her tongue across her dry lips before she tried again. ‘I told your mother the truth before she died.’
One could have heard a pin drop during the ensuing silence as she watched horrified at the change that came over him. His features had become as dark and menacing as his clothes. He was like a panther preparing to pounce, and all at once the spacious master bedroom seemed far too small to accommodate them both.
‘You did what?’ His harsh voice rasped along her already tender nerves.
‘I told her the truth,’ she whispered, striving for calmness. ‘I had to. She—’
‘You told her the truth about our marriage?’
‘Yes, but—’
‘You gave me your word you would never tell her, and I trusted you,’ he interrupted her with a deadly calm that sent shivers up her spine as he towered over her, his eyes dark and frightening.
‘I know I gave you my word, Daniel, but she—’
‘You deliberately went against my wishes, and ruined everything in the process,’ he cut in once more, not giving her the opportunity to explain the fact that Serena Grant had suspected the truth, nor to show him the letter which would have explained everything so well.
‘She wasn’t un—’
‘I could kill you!’ he exploded with a savagery that stripped her of every vestige of colour as he seemed to swoop down on her. She flinched and closed her eyes, thinking he was about to strike her, but the blow never fell. Instead, her shoulders were gripped so cruelly that she feared they would be dislocated as he dragged her against him with a force that choked off the cry that rose to her lips.
‘Daniel—please—let me explain,’ she gasped frantically.
‘Explain?’ he roared, his chest heaving beneath her hands as she tried to push him away. ‘You’ve explained enough! ’
‘Daniel, our marriage,’ she pleaded, her eyes filling with tears as the pain shot from her shoulders into her back and
arms.
‘Our marriage is no longer of any importance to me, but you’re not getting away with it that easy.’ His grip on her shoulders was mercifully no longer there, but his arms were suddenly latched about her slender body and, for the first time in her life, she knew real fear as she began to suspect his intentions. ‘You broke your word to me,’ he said through his teeth. ‘Now I shall break mine.’
‘No! No, don’t!’ she pleaded, her heart drumming so loudly against her temples that she felt faint as she tried to avoid his mouth. ‘Daniel, listen to me. Please!’
‘I’ve listened enough, and it’s no use fighting, Joanne, because there’s no escape for you. Not this time.’
‘You’re mad!’ she cried as his lips raked her neck and shoulder.
‘Yes, I’m mad!’ he agreed harshly, his eyes blazing down into hers with such fierce intensity that they seemed to scorch her very soul. ‘Mad with rage, and if you were a man I think I would have thrashed you to within an inch of your life!’
His hand tugged sharply at her hair, making her cry out in agony. She pummelled her fists against his chest, but the agony merely increased as he half dragged her towards the bed. His mouth came down on to hers with a force that bruised her lips, and in the struggle the cord of her dressing-gown had come undone, parting at the front to reveal a flimsy nightdress that left very little to the imagination. With a fierce tug Daniel relieved her of her gown seconds before she felt herself fall backwards on to the bed with him pinning her down with his weight.
‘Let me go!’ she cried, but her cry became a scream of terror as her nightdress was torn from neck to hem. ‘Daniel, I beg of you, don’t do this!’
‘Keep quiet! ’ he said against her lips, his breathing heavy and laboured. ‘The time for talking is over! ’
With a last desperate effort she tried to fight him off, but her strength was puny in comparison to his. The tears ran unheeded down her cheeks as she felt the cruel touch of his hands on her naked body, and the bruising hardness of his mouth as he silenced her pleas for mercy, but there was nothing merciful in that muscular body above her. Daniel had become intent upon taking what he wanted, his anger passionate and unrelenting, and there was no way that she could prevent him from taking what she would have offered gladly had he shown the slightest sign of gentleness.
Joanne awoke the following morning with the sound of someone moving about in the room next to hers. It would be Daniel getting ready to go to the hospital, she realised vaguely, but she was wide awake suddenly as she recalled what had happened the night before. The memory of his brutality was only too vivid, as vivid as the bruises on her arms and body, and so also the bitterness in the angry words she had flung at him moments before he had left her. He had taken his revenge, but it had left him subdued, a brooding expression on his face as he stood beside the bed staring down at her in silence.
‘I shall hate and despise you as long as I live,’ she had said and, his lips tightly compressed, he had returned to his own room.
She had no doubt that he hated her as much as she now hated him. There was now absolutely no possibility of her ever remaining with him, not after the humiliation she had suffered at his hands. She had always considered him a reasonable man, but he had not so much as given her the opportunity to explain. If he had given her the chance to speak, then this might not have occurred, but he had been caught up in the most terrible anger she had ever seen, and nothing she could have said or done would have made the slightest difference to him.
As she eased her aching body into a hot bath some minutes later, she had already made up her mind about what to do and, centring her thoughts on her future plans, she bathed and
dressed warmly before applying a little more make-up than usual to hide the shadows beneath her eyes and the slight puffiness to lips that were still tender to the touch. Now that she had a purpose in mind, she worked swiftly, dragging her suitcases down from the wardrobe and packing a few essential items of clothing. The rest of the expensive wardrobe which Daniel had insisted she buy could remain where it was for all she cared, and there was enough in her personal savings account to keep her for several months until she found suitable employment, preferably out of Cape Town, and somewhere quiet where she would have the opportunity to gather together what was left of her life, to start anew. Perhaps she might be able to look back one day and be thankful for a heart that was whole again, as it had been before Daniel had crushed it so brutally. That part of her life was now in the past, and she intended to keep it there. The future was hers to do with as she pleased, and there was no place for Daniel, or any other man, in what she was planning.
With her suitcases in the hall and the taxi on its way, Joanne went through to Daniel’s study and, seating herself behind his desk, she drew his scribbling pad towards her.
‘Daniel,’ she wrote hastily, ‘I’m leaving you, as I can’t think you would want me to remain in your home, and neither do I want to stay. I shall be going somewhere where I know I shall be needed, and if there’s the slightest shred of decency left in you, then you won’t try to find me, or see me again.
You may not believe this, but your mother died happier
knowing the truth, but please don’t take my word for it.
I shall always be grateful for the way you’re helping Bruce. You can at least trust him not to let you down, as you consider I have done. I’m making it easy for you to divorce me, but whether you do or not makes no difference to my future plans.’
She scribbled her name at the bottom and found an envelope in the drawer, but the sparkling yellow diamond on her finger drew her attention. She fingered it lovingly for a moment, then removed both her rings from her finger and dropped them into the envelope before adding a postscript to her letter.
‘I’m enclosing the engagement and wedding rings you gave me. They were part of the farce we had planned, and it’s a part of my life I want only to forget. ’
Folding the letter, she slipped it into the envelope as well, and sealed down the flap before writing Daniel’s name on the outside. Then, leaving it on his blotter where he would find it the moment he came in, she hurried out to find her taxi waiting in the driveway.
Less than an hour later she stood looking about her in the rather bare hotel room with its white linen and impersonal atmosphere. Her suitcases stood at the foot of the bed. She had to unpack her things, but first she had to telephone Bruce and let him know where she was, and, going across to the telephone on the bedside table, she lifted the receiver and asked for an outside line. A few seconds later her brother answered the telephone in his flat.
‘Bruce,’ she began without preamble, ‘I’m at the Gateway Hotel close to the municipal gardens. ’
There was a momentary silence at the other end before he said impatiently, ‘Yes, I know where that is, but what the devil are you doing there?’
‘I’ll explain, if you could come round and see me as soon
as possible. ’
‘I have a lecture to attend at two this afternoon, so I’ll come at once.’ Again there was a slight pause. ‘Jo ... is Daniel with you?’
Joanne’s fingers tightened on the receiver. ‘No.’
‘There’s nothing wrong, is there?’ he demanded hesitantly.
‘I can’t explain on the telephone, Bruce,’ she replied, finding her own voice strange to her ears, and so completely lifeless.
‘I’ll be there as soon as I can. ’
Joanne put down the receiver and covered her face with her hands for a moment. It felt as though there was a great emptiness inside her, an emptiness that left her numb and without feeling. She did not want to think of Daniel, not at that moment when all she could see was his face distorted by that terrible anger she had not thought him capable of. She rubbed her arms absently where the sleeves of her dark blue woollen dress hid the bruises left by his cruel fingers, as she made a silent vow that no man would ever have the opportunity to touch her again.
She shivered suddenly and rose to switch on the air-conditioner, turning the dial in order to circulate the warm air through the room while she unpacked her suitcases. She worked steadily for some time before a knock at her door made her push a tired hand through her hair before she went to open it.
‘Jo?’ Bruce glanced at her anxiously, his hands dug deep into the pockets of his denims, and the bulky woollen sweater making him look broader in the shoulders than he actually was.
‘Come in, Bruce,’ she said quietly, a little warmth stealing about her heart at the sight of him. ‘I’m sorry the room looks a bit of a mess, but I only arrived a little over an
hour ago, and I haven’t had time to sort things out yet.’ ‘Have you left Daniel?’ he asked as she closed the door. ‘Yes,’ she said, turning and gesturing that he should sit down in the only available chair. ‘Yes, I have.’
‘Why?’ he demanded with concern, but Joanne merely shook her head and remained silent. ‘For heaven’s sake, Jo, there must be a reason!’
Joanne sat down on the bed and lowered her glance to her tightly clenched hands in her lap, finding them strangely bare without her rings. ‘My reasons are personal, Bruce, but I’m never going back. ’
‘Does he know yet that you’ve left him?’
‘He’ll know tonight when he arrives home. ’
‘For God’s sake, Jo,’ Bruce exploded, pushing an agitated hand through his fair hair. ‘He’s such a nice guy, and I thought you loved him. ’
‘I ... thought so too... once,’ she admitted reluctantly, a flicker of pain in her glance. ‘Bruce ... if he should ask for my address, promise me you won’t give it to him? Please, Bruce?’
‘Am I supposed to lie to him and tell him I don’t know where you are?’ He brought out a squashed packet of cigarettes and lit one with shaky hands. ‘Hell, Jo, you know he won’t swallow that line. ’
‘I don’t care what you tell him, as long as you don’t tell him where I am. ’ She leaned forward and placed her hands on his knees, her glance imploring. ‘Bruce, I don’t often ask you to do me a favour. Just this once, give me your promise?’
‘All right, you’ve got it,’ he said after a lengthy silence. ‘I’m not going to try and pretend I know what this is all about, but it’s something I never dreamed would ever happen. You were both so crazy about each other not even six months ago, and now ...’
‘Now it’s all over, Bruce, and I intend finding myself a job somewhere out of the city.’
His eyes widened with dismay. ‘You mean you want to leave Cape Town?’
She nodded slowly. ‘I think it would be best.’
Bruce rose to his feet and walked across to the window where he stood smoking agitatedly for some time before he turned to face her once more. ‘Jo, are you sure you’re not making too much of a little tiff?’
‘This wasn’t just a little tiff, it—’ She broke off sharply, gesturing angrily with her hands. ‘Credit me with some intelligence, Bruce. ’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said gently, instantly at her side as he placed an arm about her shoulders and drew her against him. ‘I had to make sure.’
Joanne put her arms about his waist and buried her face against him. ‘We were always very close, Bruce, and I had to let you in on my plans. I couldn’t just disappear without telling you.’
‘I know,’ he replied, brushing a hand over her hair. ‘And I’m damned sorry things didn’t work out between Daniel and yourself. ’
Joanne sighed and stood up, moving across to the dressing-table where she had placed some of her personal items until she could find a suitable place for them. She idly fingered her hairbrush, meeting Bruce’s glance in the mirror. ‘You’re very fond of him,
aren’t you?’
Bruce nodded, his face almost as pale and drawn as her own. ‘Yes, I like him very much. He’s the kind of guy I always hoped you would marry. Beneath all that abruptness he’s a very sensitive man, and a very clever one too. He has made a name for himself as a surgeon, but to meet him, you’d never think so, because he’s not conceited.’
That was how she had always thought of Daniel, Joanne realised after Bruce had left. She had thought him the most wonderful man she had ever known and, along with several other nurses, she had placed him on a pedestal, but the pedestal had crumbled violently the night before.
Joanne shuddered. Daniel had had a right to be angry. She had broken her word to him, and no explanation could have altered that. Then Daniel, in turn, broke his, using the most obvious weapon with which to punish her and, lord, how she wished it could have been different. She loved him, and had wanted him, but not like that! Not with such brutal violence that her body still ached from his touch.
There were no tears left to shed. She had shed them all the night before after he had left her in peace, but the rawness in her heart was something she would have to learn to live with, for the healing process would take the rest of her life.
Two weeks later Joanne received a call from Bruce, asking her to meet him at the open-air tea-room in the botanical gardens, and it was there, on that surprisingly warm morning in July while they drank their tea and fed their cake crumbs to the pigeons, that Bruce gave her the news of Daniel’s departure.
‘He’s stored his furniture and put the house up for sale. Daniel received an offer some weeks ago to work at a clinic in Switzerland for a year, and he’s now decided to accept it.’
‘How—how do you know this?’ she asked, a cold hand gripping her heart until it ached numbly.
‘Well ...’ Bruce avoided her glance, ‘I’ve been seeing him quite often lately. ’
‘You’ve been seeing him?’ she asked incredulously, watching the embarrassed colour seep beneath his fair skin.
‘Yes.’ He frowned then, meeting her glance. ‘I haven’t any quarrel with him, Jo, and ... as he’s paying my university fees ...’ He moved his shoulders uncomfortably and applied himself to feeding the pigeons as they fluttered their wings and settled on their table.
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