“I knew he couldn’t be that perfect.” Marla patted Grace’s shoulder affectionately. “He’s a man, after all.”
“I trusted him.” Grace shivered, knowing things with him wouldn’t work. “How the hell did he even find my parents’ address?”
“I’m sure he has his ways, Grace. He’s Evan Matthews.”
“I don’t care that he’s Evan Matthews. He shits the same way everyone else does.”
Marla winced. “Too much, Grace.”
“I want him out of my house. I can’t possibly go back with him living next door either. What the hell am I supposed to do?” The gaping hole in her heart made her want to break down into sobs, but she hated crying. She had spent too much of her life in grief.
Marla touched her hand. “You can stay here. I’ll go by the house tomorrow and get you some clothes, your laptop, whatever else you need.”
Small tears glimmered in Grace’s eyes, grateful for the help from her friend. Marla moved forward to hug her, but Grace shifted back. “Don’t. I’ll cry and I won’t stop.”
“I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you close to it. I always thought you weren’t human or something.”
Grace gave a weak chuckle and wiped the corner of her eye. “I’m so embarrassed, Marla. The things I revealed in that book. I wasn’t going to have it published. My parents…”
“Grace, I haven’t read it, so I don’t know what’s in there, but babe, that was your life. Those things that happened made you who you are today. If your parents can’t see past that, then screw them. The future Columbia-law-school scholar was their pride and joy, but you know what? You were Nathan’s. He loved and cared about you.”
Grace’s chest felt like it was being pried open. That gaping hole was getting larger, and she felt like dying. Her eyes stayed down as she nodded in agreement, but it wasn’t fully soaking in her head. “So, what’s the point of you saying this?”
Marla continued. “Focus on what he’d think. And don’t be ashamed of who you are, Grace. Of what you’ve lived through. It’s all beautiful.”
“You think Evan was right to send it?”
“I don’t think it’s that black and white. The way he went about this was completely fucked up. But still, he saved you the worry of having to tell them yourself. And you don’t know how your mother will react.” She shrugged and picked up a piece of chocolate, handing it to Grace. Grace scrunched her nose up and shook her head, so Marla then handed her the bottle of Scotch. Grace tipped it to her mouth and took a gulp. “Thatta girl. Drink yourself to sleep on the couch or you can go use the guest room. Just don’t puke on my carpet.”
The day was overcast and cold, and Evan was in a foul mood. He couldn’t think about anything other than Grace. The fury in her eyes almost three nights ago was something he’d never forget. He wanted to hold her in his arms, run his hands through that gorgeous brown hair, gaze into those dark eyes and see the look of love in them. He wanted to comfort her, tell her everything would be fine and it would all work out for the best. But he wasn’t so sure at this point if everything would work out and that scared him.
The more he tried calling and getting denied, texting without a reply, the more he became a grouch. His concentration was shot, and lines that were supposed to come easily just didn’t stick. His listening skills were shit, so his cues kept being dropped. It came to the point where Charles, their director, pulled him aside and told him he needed to get himself together.
Evan had always been professional, and one thing that needed to be done was to leave problems at home and away from work. He felt ashamed for having been scolded, and he apologized as he tried to regain focus and get his lines done, but it wasn’t happening easily.
Charles called for a break, and Evan entered his trailer, sitting on the couch and staring at his phone. He scrolled through his photos and studied pictures he’d taken of Grace. One of them dancing together near her record player, another of them cuddled on the couch, one of her sleeping. He remembered when she woke from the sound of the photo being taken. She tried to tackle him, demanding he erase it, but he’d never. He cherished the memory too much.
The door swung open and Josh walked in saying nothing. He sat across from Evan and leaned his forearms on his knees, his fingers clasping together. Glacier blue eyes stared keenly at him. “What, Josh?”
“You what? You’ve been acting strange the past few days,” Josh stated briskly. When Evan didn’t answer, Josh’s lips pressed together before he let out a laugh. “You fucked it up, didn’t you?”
Evan’s eyes pressed shut as he pinched the space between them. “Don’t.”
“You fucking fell in love and what did you do?” He pushed the sleeves of his Henley up, the cords of his muscles tightening as he shook his head. “What are you going to do to fix it, mate? Hmm?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I can fix it, Josh.” He proceeded to tell him what he did, and his friend leaned back, giving a drained whistle. Evan tried to defend himself. “But, isn’t she just being unreasonable?”
“No, you fucked it up. Don’t know how you’ll come back from that.”
“She was going to publish it.” His justification seemed weak when he spoke it out loud. “It would make their way to them eventually.”
“No, no it wouldn’t, Evan. This girl,” he put his hand out as he tried to make his point, “she was so guarded you had to lie about losing a poker game to get to know her. Then you went, without her permission, behind her back, to find her parents and send something to them that she was quite sure she never wanted them to read.”
“But they had to if she was going to publish.”
“That’s the thing though, Evan. She got offers and she turned them down because she didn’t want them to read it.”
“Because she was scared.”
Josh laughed in frustration. “So why was it your job to get her over that?”
“Because…I love her. I want her to have a relationship with her parents.”
“Why does it matter to you so much? Zach doesn’t talk to his parents.”
“His parents are assholes.”
“So are Grace’s, apparently.” He looked at him questioningly, his eyebrows raised as he waited for the answer. “Why does it matter, Evan?”
“I want to marry her.” Evan’s eyes stung as he looked up at his friend’s shocked face. “And I want her to have a relationship with her parents because I know one day she’ll regret not having her father there to give her away at our wedding. Or not having her mom there to see how wonderful her daughter is. Or what it would be like to know their grandchildren one day. I want my future to be with Grace. She thinks they blame her for Nathan’s death, but I know they don’t.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just know. Grace alienates people. She’s great at pushing away those that try to love her. She’s doing it to me now.”
“Evan, she didn’t alienate you until you made her.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This girl let you in and she loved you, and you broke that. Can’t you see what you did wrong? You aren’t her savior, mate, you’re the man she loves.”
“But I needed to do it. She’s missing this amazing opportunity, and I know she wants it. Her parents might’ve given up on her, but I won’t. And I’m going to try to fix this.”
“She doesn’t need to be fixed. Maybe she doesn’t need anyone right now.”
“Everyone needs someone, Josh.” He smirked at him knowingly. “Even you, bro.”
Josh gave a slight nod and leaned back. “Just be there for her when she’s ready, I guess.” His eyes motioned toward the door. “Charles told me to tell you to get the fuck out of here. Rest up and be ready for a long couple of days ahead.”
Evan knew he had to clear his head, attempt to catch some sleep, eat something, and find some way to win Grace back.
Evan stood, hands on his hips as he awaited the door to open
. He shifted his stance and knocked raptly, his hand moving toward the bell and ringing it three times in a row. The sounds of scuffling could be heard along with footsteps. He bowed his head and then let his voice ring out. “I know you’re there. Open up, Marla.”
“Hello, traitor.” Marla stood with a large knife in her hand, her body blocking any chance of Evan getting inside her home. He moved his head, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of Grace. “Grace told me to tell you that she’s not here.”
Evan’s steely eyes locked onto Marla’s. The apron she wore had a vintage paisley pattern on the dark blue material, and Evan could smell Mexican spices wafting in the air. His eyebrow rose in speculation. “So she is here?”
She gave a sly grin. “Yes, but she obviously doesn’t want to see you since you’re a moronic traitor. Accept that, and she’ll call you when she’s ready. Why don’t you go and hold your breath until then?”
“I need to talk to her. Please.”
“We’re busy. It’s Taco Tuesday.”
His pressed lips upturned slightly as he saw a glint in Marla’s eyes. Evan leaned forward, speaking softly. “You think I was right to do what I did. Admit it.”
“I don’t admit anything. I stick with my best friend. She’s hurting and she’s pissed off at you. So I’m pissed off at you too.”
He gazed down at his shoes, defeat coursing through him. His heart twisted mostly in pain, but partially in relief. She at least felt something. It would be worse if she didn’t care at all. It might’ve been a selfish notion, but he wanted to know she missed him at least a fraction of as much as he missed her. “I didn’t mean to hurt her, Marla. I was trying to make it better.”
Marla’s bourbon-colored eyes softened with pity, her defense breaking. “I know you love her, Evan.” His gaze met hers again as hope peppered in. She put her empty hand out to calm him down. “I understand your intentions and where they came from, but it’s going to take some time for Grace to realize it on her own.”
“But—”
“No. Don’t interrupt.” Marla gave an irritated sigh and pointed the knife at him, making sure he wouldn’t speak before she continued. “Once she figures it out, she’ll be able to forgive you, but she needs her space right now.”
His voice faltered as he looked away. “I miss her.”
Marla shrugged. “Tough shit. Be patient.”
He nodded and turned toward his car. He could be patient. He could wait a lifetime for her. His heart belonged with her, and he’d never ask for it back.
“Grace? It’s your go.”
“Hmm? Sorry.” Grace shook herself out of the daze she was in and switched out two cards. Poker wasn’t helping her forget the man who had taken her heart and killed it with a grenade launcher. She once again looked at her hand and knew it was shit. She had no chance of winning. Now it was a matter of whether she’d bluff. Marla and Jaime concentrated on their own cards, evaluating and adjusting as necessary.
One week. It had been seven agonizing days since she had last been in the presence of Evan Matthews, and it hadn’t gotten easier. That night played in her mind on repeat. She thought of different ways she could’ve handled the situation. Yelled? Punched? Cried? No, Grace had stayed silent, and those feelings were beginning to root and fester and turn into something ugly.
She was angry—angry at him, at her parents, and at herself. She should have known better than to open up to someone like him. He had charmed his way into her heart, and now left her aching. But the truth was, she also still desperately loved him, and wanted to believe he acted with good intentions. It wasn’t the intentions that upset her, it was the fact that he went behind her back and did it without asking.
“Fold,” Jaime groaned and threw her hand down on the table.
“Marla?” Grace asked.
“I raise.” The redhead smirked. “You have to call your mom back the next time she tries to get in touch with you.”
Grace levelled in her chair and narrowed her eyes in annoyance. “Why the fuck would you even up the ante like that, Marla?”
“Why don’t we just keep to the chips, ladies?” Jaime suggested with a careful countenance.
“No, I’ve seen Grace the past seven days moping about. She’s not writing, she’s not eating, and she’s definitely not showering.”
“Ew.” Jaime grimaced. “You’ve got to fix that, Grace.”
“I’ve showered.” Grace raised her eyes to Marla and set them keenly. “Fine. If I win, you have to go on a date with Josh.”
“Ha!” Jaime pointed to Marla as she made a squinted face. “You so want to.”
“I loathe gym rats.” Marla groaned as she studied her cards. “Let’s go back to the chips.”
Grace laughed, “Nope.”
“I re-raise. You have to talk to Evan.”
Grace became immobilized as her eyes widened with fright. “I can’t do that. That’s really cruel.”
Jaime meekly responded, “You’ll have to eventually talk to him.”
“Don’t have a good hand, Grace?” Marla sneered playfully.
Grace lifted her chin in defiance. “You have to tell your boss Cameron to fuck off the next time he tries to hit on you.”
Marla gasped. “That’s my career, Grace. You can’t bet something like that.”
Grace eyed her skeptically. “Then what?”
“I don’t like this. Let’s just drop it.”
For once, Grace didn’t mind. She nodded and threw her cards down on the table. Although it was fun for a bit, the repercussions of their wagers didn’t bode very well for either of them.
“What did you have, Grace?” Jaime lifted the cards and laughed. “You were bluffing the whole time?”
“Yeah, I’m good at it, aren’t I?” Grace stretched her body and yawned in exhaustion. She wasn’t sleeping well. She felt depressed and her group of girls were helping her get through her disappointments on a Saturday afternoon. At least she thought so until Jaime added, “Almost as good as Evan.”
“What does that mean?” Grace’s heart started to flutter at the thought of him. She didn’t want to have those reactions, but couldn’t help her curiosity as she waited for more information.
Jaime closed her eyes then faced her straight on. “Um, well, remember when we first met him and played poker?”
“Of course.”
“Well, Evan pretended to lose so you could win the game.”
Grace’s air fled out of her lungs as her mind jumbled with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“He had a straight flush that night. He made me promise not to tell,” Jaime confessed.
“Bastard,” Grace whispered harshly. She then tried ignoring her tears as she began to put the cards and chips away in violent movements. “Why should I be surprised, right? I mean, he did betray me after all. And why didn’t you tell me?”
“Grace, you really suck at dating.” Marla laughed as she picked up the dishes from the table. “You needed a little push with Matthews.”
“I date. I go out. You guys just wanted me to date him because he’s a movie star.” She felt herself becoming defensive and had to calm herself before she got too angry. Evan had tricked her.
“No, that’s not it. You just keep yourself too guarded,” Jaime contended as she helped clean up the rest of the dishes and handed them to Marla. “Evan wanted a way to know you, and he took the opportunity presented. Admit it. You would never have let him take you out on a date, or gone to Boston with him if he was just asking.”
Grace shook her head. “I don’t know what you mean.” She did though, and it was about to be reiterated to her.
“Telling yourself it was a bet you were fulfilling made you less scared in getting to know him. You were protecting yourself by saying you’d keep to that bet, but right now you had no problem calling it off with Marla.”
“I wasn’t winning right now. Of course I called it off. And I tried getting out of Evan’s stupid bet. I don’t know
why you’re on his side anyway.”
“I’m not on his side when it comes to what he did with your memoir, but he did what he had to do to get to know you better. It was the only way.”
“She’s right, you know,” Marla said softly. “You don’t seem to grasp happiness for yourself too often, Grace. You deserve it.”
Tears threatened to fall over as Grace tried to understand what they were telling her. “I was happy. I was fine before Evan showed up. All he did was prove how all men are assholes.”
Marla laughed. “That’s my line, honey. Not yours. And you were lonely.”
“He’s not an asshole,” Jaime corrected. “He did what he did because he loves you.”
“Look, I appreciate your concern, but how would you feel if Dean took your journal and gave it to your parents when he knew there was stuff written in there about them?” Grace’s temper began to flare the more she spoke. “That’s what I thought. It would suck, wouldn’t it? Evan took that and gave it away to them.”
“Grace, sorry to say this, but I think you’re being a bit of a coward.” Marla said as she sat down and chewed on a brownie she had made from scratch.
Grace gaped at her. “Excuse me?”
“This isn’t a journal. You’re turning down a lucrative book deal. It could make your career. No more property managing, no more scraped up old Honda, no more scrounging for cash. You get to tell your story and help others, and you’re not taking the risk because of your parents.”
“So, obviously, Marla’s on Evan’s side, too.” Grace’s voice was strained as she tried to keep control of her emotions.
“It’s not about sides. It’s about you doing what you were meant to do. Evan pushed you toward it, and you won’t even talk to your mom. She’s calling you for a reason, and you’re too chicken to find out why.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m going to take a nap.” Grace made her way to Marla’s guestroom and lay there thinking over everything. She reached to her phone and saw it void of texts and calls. Her mother stopped bothering her, Evan had cut his contact with her, and she had nobody to blame but herself.
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