by Frost, E J
Laurel makes the decision for me when she gives me a dragon-sized hug as soon as Daddy introduces us.
And she loves little Larry.
While Logan and Jiro, a stern-looking Japanese man with silver at his temples and even straighter posture than Daddy, go off to find a locker for the luggage, Laurel and I head up to the fourth floor to meet Larry. We walk through the Fossil Hall arm-in-arm to where the towering T-Rex skeleton stands. While I tell her about Larry, she tells me what it’s like to be a scaly. Before we even walk over to meet Terry the Triceratops, I decide I want to be a dragon when I grow up.
Laurel’s telling me about dragon names when I spot Daddy and Jiro crossing the Fossil Hall. I wave until I’m sure they’ve seen us. Laurel’s dragon name is Seighan, which means Emerald Wings. I love it, and the idea of having a dragon name, and can’t wait to tell Daddy.
But the words freeze in my throat when I see Daddy’s face. It’s drawn, with deep lines creasing his forehead. What happened? Is he in pain? I hope he didn’t do something stupidly manly like run up the stairs on his bad leg.
“Laurel,” Daddy says as he approaches. “I’m so very sorry I triggered you.”
Laurel draws into herself and begins twisting little Larry between her hands. “Tatsu, I said I was okay,” she says, glancing at her fiancée.
“It’s important that Logan understand, petto,” Jiro answers.
“I hope you can forgive me,” Daddy says.
Laurel gives Daddy a smile that’s only a little strained. “It’s not your fault, Mr. Logan.”
I shift around her towards Logan. He looks upset. Not that Daddy ever lets much emotional turmoil show, but the little he does, tells me he needs comfort. As soon as he puts his arm out, I wrap mine around his firm waist and slip a hand up under his T-shirt so I can rub his back.
“I can’t promise you that Theo won’t ask you questions about that weekend,” Daddy says to Laurel. “But I can promise that I will defend your right not to answer them, physically if I have to. I hate the idea that by helping Rick, you’re being hurt.” Daddy holds his hand out. “I really am sorry.”
Laurel shakes his hand before gripping little Larry again. “I had a flashback after I spoke with you. But I’m okay.”
We all stand around awkwardly for a moment. Daddy, who always knows what to say, breaks the ice. “Has Emily introduced you to Antony the Apatosaurus? He’s my favorite.”
“It’s Wyatt, Daddy.” I give his waist a squeeze. “Because he’s from Wyoming.”
Daddy chuckles and tucks me tight against his side as we walk towards the huge skeleton. “Wyatt the Apatosaurus? No way, little girl.”
“Totally, Daddy. He doesn’t even look like an Antony.”
Arguing happily over the best names for sauropods, we lead Laurel and Jiro through the rest of the Fossil Hall.
* * *
By the time we get to Saks, my body feels leaden: my legs, my bottom, my head, even my eyelids. Daddy notices, because Daddy notices everything. While Laurel drags her Dom off to the shoe department, Daddy takes me to the café for a Ginger Turmeric Latte, which tastes much better than it sounds. With my drink, he gives me more Advil, which helps some with the leaden feeling and my continuing sore throat.
As we sip our drinks and enjoy the view from the fifth floor, Daddy’s phone rings.
He takes it out of his pocket and scowls. “We forgot someone.”
“Who?”
“DirtyGurl wanted to visit today. I gave her permission as long as she didn’t bring any edibles.” He swipes the phone and says into it, “I hope you’ve called before setting off.”
Over the noises of the café, I can’t hear DirtyGurl’s response, but whatever she says makes Daddy’s scowl deeper.
“She let you in? Put her on the phone.”
Worry ruffles up my spine and I lean forward to hear better.
“Gina?” Daddy asks.
He must be talking to his housekeeper. She wasn’t due to come until tomorrow but when Daddy found out Laurel and Jiro were coming early, he asked Gina to come today so the house would be clean for them. My thoughtful Daddy.
“Yes, she’s a friend from my club,” Daddy says. “But I don’t want anyone in the house when Emily or I aren’t there.” There’s a long response during which Daddy pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Those were unusual circumstances, Gina.” He listens again, then says, “Okay, please put Brenna back on.”
Is that DirtyGurl’s real name? I’d never ask, because club names are kind of sacred, but clearly Daddy knows it.
“Since you showed up without calling first, you can make yourself useful,” Daddy says. He pauses to listen to DirtyGurl’s response and grins. “I was thinking you could entertain Emily’s cat, but if you want to do that instead, I’m good with it.”
Her answer makes his grin even wider.
“Only Emily licks my boots. You’re lucky I don’t own a car or you’d be washing that. We should only be another hour or so. If Theo gets there before we get back, you can let him in. Tell him that Gina is vanilla and there are toys in the guest bedroom he can use on you as long as he washes up after.”
I hear DirtyGurl’s indignant squawk even over the noise of the café.
“Be good,” Daddy warns her, although he’s still grinning. “I’ll know if you’re not.”
Her response makes Daddy chuckle as he taps off his phone.
“She’s watering the flowers and playing with Sable. That’ll teach her not to call first. I can’t believe Gina let her in. We need another security talk, clearly.” He works his phone for a minute. “I’ve let Jiro know we need to head back in an hour.”
His phone pings, and he laughs.
“Jiro says he’s already had more than enough shopping, but Laurel still wants to look at handbags.” He puts his phone away and smiles at me. “Do you want to see if those sleep shorts are on sale?”
I’d rather sit here on the soft cushion, soak up my daddy’s attention, and have another surprisingly yummy latte. “I have plenty of things to wear to bed already.”
“I should probably take them all away from you and make you sleep naked, little girl.”
I squirm on my chair and wince.
“I saw that,” Daddy says. “Give me a number for how sore you are.”
I consider for a moment. “A strong three.”
“As opposed to a weak three?”
“Three point nine five.”
“So really a four.”
“Not quite a four.”
Daddy shakes his head at me, but he’s smiling. Despite all my soreness, seeing him happy again makes me feel floaty inside. “Something serious we need to talk about, little girl.”
I swallow too hard and wish I had more latte to chase it with. “Did I do something wrong?”
I’ve tried to be friendly with Laurel, who has made it easy, and respectful of Jiro, but maybe I’ve gotten it wrong again. Even putting aside the million times Maman told me I was awkward, I know I’m not always good with strangers.
Daddy’s amused smile softens. “Wipe that anxious look off your face, Emmy. You’ve been an angel, even when you were teasing Max. The serious thing we need to talk about is the wooden horse. You got exactly what I wanted you to get out of the punishment, but I need to know if it was too much and if you want to remove the wooden horse as a possible punishment in our contract the way we did isolation. I’m not promising I’ll agree. I just want to discuss it.”
I blink at him in wonder. He wants to recap my punishment the way we would a scene?
“Daddy,” I whisper.
He reaches across the table and takes my hand, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. “Tell me what you’re thinking, sweetheart.”
“I don’t. Want to take it out of our contract. I mean, it was awful while I was on it and I never, ever, ever want to earn another punishment like that, but I don’t want to prevent you from using the wooden horse if you think i
t’s necessary.” I squeeze his hand, trying to find the words for the bubbling happiness I feel. “Ta, Daddy, thank you for asking my opinion.”
“You’re welcome. Some of the other Doms, well, Master Javier, felt that it might be too much pain for you. I know it wasn’t, because I’ve learned your pain tolerances. But if you felt it was more than you could take a second time, I’m open to discussing it.”
I shake my head, overwhelmed with love for this man. “I trust you. If you need me to take it again, it’s for a reason.”
“Yes, it is. I’m pleased you see that. Punishments don’t always give a bottom clarity. Pence’s punishment was one hundred percent deterrence. But I always want yours to bring you some insight.” He lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles. “And I’m very pleased to hear that you trust your daddy again.”
“It wasn’t that I stopped trusting you. I just, for little while, felt I wasn’t good enough for you.” I add hastily, “But I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“Good. That was part of the point, too. You endured something you probably didn’t think you could because I demanded it of you. You are more than good enough for me, Emmy. I need you to believe that.”
“I do.” Today, I do. Tomorrow, I’ll try very hard to remember it and never let doubt infect what I have with my daddy again. “Could we make one stop on the way home? It’ll be quick and I’ll pay for it.”
“We can make a stop and I’ll decide whether or not Daddy pays. What are we getting?”
“Balloons, Daddy.”
“Balloons?” Logan asks, tipping his head to the side.
I nod. “I want my outsides to feel like my insides.”
Daddy’s grin stretches until his cheek muscles must ache. “Then we definitely need some balloons. Pink and purple?”
“And green,” I say. For Laurel, because she’s an emerald dragon.
* * *
We have to hail a second taxi from the Village Party Store; all my balloons plus four people don’t fit in one cab. I’m a little anxious as we climb in the second cab, because cabs are expensive and Logan hasn’t let me pay for anything even though I really do have enough in my allowance account. But he just smiles and hugs me and admires the six dragon balloons I’ve picked out in addition to an entire circus’s worth of pink, purple, silver, and green balloons.
We’ve spent silly money on the balloons, but the store had these cool chrome balloons that I hadn’t seen before. They were so pretty; I couldn’t help drooling over them. When Logan saw me admiring them, he insisted I get some even though they were crazy expensive. He doesn’t seem worried about the expense, and as long as he’s relaxed and happy, I can be, too.
DirtyGurl and Theo are standing on the stoop of the house when we arrive. Blue dreadlocks flying, DirtyGurl runs down to greet us. After hugs all around, I pass her a handful of balloon strings and, together, we herd my flock of balloons into the house, with DirtyGurl crooning over how pretty they are.
When Laurel and Jiro’s taxi arrives a minute later, we head back outside and DirtyGurl starts crooning again, this time over Laurel’s outfit.
“How come I missed the dress-up memo?” DirtyGurl asks after she’s introduced to Jiro and Laurel. She flicks her fingers at me. “You always look cute as a button.” She gestures at Laurel. “You look amazing. Those boots are so cool. Can I take a picture? I mean, without being all weird, seriously, can I? My friend Nicky will flip his shit.”
Laurel laughs and encourages DirtyGurl by posing for picture after picture. I get drawn into it, pretending to be a cowering maiden while Laurel looms over me menacingly from the top step. Once the impromptu photo-shoot is over, we troop into the house. I feel almost guilty asking Laurel to take her boots off, but Daddy really doesn’t like people wearing shoes in the house. She’s gracious about it, though, and seeing her dragon-boots lined up with everyone else’s shoes in the hallway makes me giggle.
Daddy gives Laurel and Jiro a tour of the house while I tie my balloon haul to the backs of the dining room chairs. Everyone gets a dragon balloon plus a chrome balloon or two. Seeing them bob above the table makes me dance inside, even if I’m still too sore to do much more than shuffle as I set out plates and cutlery.
DirtyGurl plants herself at the kitchen island and folds napkins for several minutes. Then she brings a little napkin herd over to the table: a cat, a dog, a horse, an elephant, and even a giraffe. I give her an enthusiastic hug before we set an animal-napkin on each plate.
“Sorry, I don’t know how to make a dragon,” she says, draping her arm over my shoulders.
“I don’t think Laurel will mind. These are so cool. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, babes. All those years of waiting tables should be good for something. How do you know Laurel and her Dom? Theo wouldn’t tell me. He’s in zip-mouth mode.”
I giggle. “Daddy does that, too. He knows Laurel through his work. This is the first time they’ve come up, so I just met her today. I want to be a dragon when I grow up, though.”
DirtyGurl grins.
“We should get all the subbies to dress up as animals and take over Blunts as our zoo one weekend. You can be a dragon. I want to be the Cookie Monster.”
That sets me off giggling again.
“You already are the Cookie Monster,” Daddy says, tweaking one of DirtyGurl’s blue dreadlocks as he walks through the dining area towards the kitchen. “I’ve ordered the food. It’ll be delivered around six. I hope you like goat.”
DirtyGurl rolls her eyes. “I’ve had Cambodian before, sir. There wasn’t any goat, and the rendang was pukka.”
“You’re not allowed to say ‘pukka’ unless you can do it with a proper Essex accent, Yank.” Daddy collects three beers from the fridge and walks back behind us with another tug on DirtyGurl’s hair. “Roll your eyes at me again, and I’ll lend Theo something to smack that attitude right out of you. I’ve got rooms and rooms of things to choose from.”
DirtyGurl and I shiver in unison as we watch Daddy go.
“Your daddy’s evil,” she whispers to me.
“You have no idea,” I whisper back.
“Theo can be evil, too. He’s double-teamed me with Ten a couple of times. Nearly killed me. I’ve never done a scene with him one-on-one, though. I’m kind of nervous.”
I give her a squeeze for support. DirtyGurl looks like she gives no fucks about anything, but that’s just a front. I know all about fronting; until I met Daddy, I’d done it all my life.
“Good nervous or bad nervous?” I ask.
“Both.” She gives me another wide, white grin. “Is there any other way?”
No, not really. “Do you want something to drink?”
“I’d love one of those Coronas, but I’d better check with Theo first. If he wants to scene tonight, I’ll stick to water. Be right back, babes.”
She gives me another squeeze before she follows Logan’s steps toward the front of the house.
Daddy returns before DirtyGurl does. He wraps me in a warm hug and kisses my forehead. “Give me a pain number, sweetie.”
“Soft three, Daddy.”
He chuckles. “Three point four?”
“Three point two.”
“Good, I’m glad it’s easing. Are you okay to sit through dinner? I can put one of the soft pillows from the couch on your chair.”
The dining room chairs are already padded, and my bottom’s feeling much better than this morning. So’s my throat, which is the bigger relief, because I hate getting sick. “I’m okay, Daddy.”
“That’s my girl. Theo’s talking about doing a scene with DirtyGurl tonight. I’m going to offer him the use of the playrooms so he doesn’t have to trek back to Blunts, but I’m not up for anything tonight. We can watch if you want to.”
“Whatever you want to do, Daddy.”
He kisses my forehead again and I snuggle into his chest, feeling little and content in my daddy’s arms.
* * *
Dinner’s relaxed
, despite the excess of Doms around the table. Daddy casually hand-feeds me but doesn’t put me in High Protocol. Theo takes DirtyGurl into the bathroom before we sit down to eat and returns with a cup of something that I’m really afraid is his come. Crimson-faced and unable to meet anyone’s eyes, DirtyGurl pours a little of whatever it is onto everything before she eats it. No wonder she’s both good nervous and bad nervous. I would purely die if Daddy did that to me. But neither she nor Theo say anything about it, and other than turning redder than a fire engine and squirming in her seat, DirtyGurl carries on conversation like normal. Daddy teases her a little, although not about what’s in the cup, and I’m hopeful that he’s warming toward her, because I’d really like to see her more often.
After doing the plate ritual, I start to clear the table but Daddy waves me back into my chair. “You’re taking it easy tonight, little girl. Jiro and I will tidy up while Theo has a word with Laurel.”
Laurel’s Dom wipes his mouth, stands and helps Daddy pick up the dirty plates.
“If it’s okay,” Laurel says quietly. “I’d rather talk out here.” She reaches over and takes my hand. “I’m okay with Emily and DirtyGurl hearing. I mean, they don’t have to stay if they don’t want to, but I’d feel better if they did.”
“Of course,” I tell her.
“Emily, come here,” Daddy says from near the sink.
I give Laurel a reassuring smile before I disentangle my hand and pad over to Daddy. He won’t make me leave Laurel all alone when she’s scared, will he?
He holds his hand out to me and when I take it, walks me into his office, and closes the door behind us.
“Laurel was gang-raped,” he says quietly. “After she left the Fire Island party. Will you be okay if she decides to talk about it?”
I consider for a moment, because I don’t want to sound glib. “I’ll be okay, Daddy. I want to support her.”
“That’s my sweet girl.” Daddy pulls me against his chest and kisses my forehead. “I want to support her, too.”