by Jane Morris
A GREAT MYSTERY
This is a transcript of a parent-teacher conference for Mabel, a smart yet extremely angry girl, who was thrown out of her previous school for constantly starting violent fights.
NOTE: This meeting took place during my lunch period.
ASS. PRINCIPAL: We’re here to figure out how we can help Mabel be more successful in her classes.
MABEL’S MOM: Okay.
COUNSELOR: Let’s go around and hear from each teacher about Mabel’s performance and attitude.
SCIENCE TEACHER: Mabel has a very poor attitude, is extremely rude and will not do any work.
ME: I have the same experience. On the first day of class, I asked the class a question and she announced that no one gave a shit. I spoke to her about it privately and she refused to acknowledge that what she said was inappropriate.
HISTORY TEACHER: Yes, Mabel can be extremely rude and disrespectful. She will not complete any work in class.
ART TEACHER: She never listens to anything I ask her to do. Every time I ask her to take her headphones out she takes them out for a minute and puts them right back in.
ME: I have the same experience. I always feel like she is testing me to see how far she can push me.
COUNSELOR: Maybe she keeps putting the headphones back in because of her A.D.D.
MABEL’S MOM: Yes, Mabel has A.D.D.
ME: I don’t think so. It really feels like she can control herself, but refuses to.
HISTORY TEACHER: Can I ask why she isn’t in this meeting? Isn’t the student usually present?
ASS. PRINCIPAL: We sent for her at the end of last period. I don’t know why she isn’t here.
MABEL’S MOM: Oh she told me she wouldn’t be here.
ASS. PRINCIPAL: Why?
MABEL’S MOM: She said she doesn’t care what you have to say.
ASS. PRINCIPAL: Okay. Well, the main reason that this meeting was called was because of Mabel’s behavior in math class last week that led to her suspension.
MATH TEACHER: I told Mabel that if she continued to refuse to do work she would have to leave. She said, and I quote, “I don’t give a fuck!” I told her to leave class and she said, “Fuck you!” and pushed a bunch of papers off my desk before she left.
MABEL’S MOM: Yes, I got a phone call about that.
COUNSELOR: Okay, does anyone have any ideas about how we can help Mabel be more successful in her classes? Perhaps we can offer extra help? She gets extended time on all assignments because of her A.D.D.
MABEL’S MOM: That’s true.
HISTORY TEACHER: But what does that matter if she won’t complete any work?
COUNSELOR: We just want her to have all the resources she needs to improve. Would you offer extra help?
HISTORY TEACHER: I always offer extra help to my students. They all know that. I am available during my lunch period, before and after school and anytime through email. I don’t think Mabel will take advantage of that.
ME: Same here. I am always available if a student needs help.
SCIENCE TEACHER: Me too.
ASS. PRINCIPAL: Okay, we’ll make sure Mabel knows that extra help is available. Does anyone have any other insights into why Mabel is not able to perform the work?
SCIENCE TEACHER: Mabel has the intelligence and the skills to complete the work, she just refuses to.
HISTORY TEACHER: I agree.
ME: Yes, me too.
MABEL’S MOM: I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know why she’s acting like this.
COUNSELOR: I’m sure her A.D.D. has something to do with it.
ME: Do you mind if I ask you a question?
MABEL’S MOM: No, go ahead.
ME: When you found out that Mabel was being suspended for cursing at a teacher, what happened when she got home from school?
MABEL’S MOM: What do you mean?
ME: Were there any consequences?
MABEL’S MOM (after a blank stare): Like what?
ME: Does she still have a phone?
MABEL’S MOM: Yes.
ME: Who pays the bill?
MABEL’S MOM: Me.
ME: Okay, well maybe you could take away her phone.
MABEL’S MOM (with a bright smile): She’d never let me do that.
Awkward silence
ME: Oh.
Awkward silence
ASS. PRINCIPAL: Does anyone have anything to add? Okay, we’ll let Mabel know about the resources that are available to her.
MABEL’S MOM: Thanks.
PARENTING DISORDER
Bob didn’t come to class very often. If he did show up, he was usually 45 minutes late, and he would promptly put his head down and go to sleep. I tried everything with Bob; I yelled at him, slipped papers under his face, I even rang a cowbell in his ear. Finally, I pulled him into the hallway for a chat. I asked him to be completely honest and tell me what his deal was. He said that he didn’t care about school. He only cared about his computer, and he stayed up until four or five in the morning playing games. I asked if his parents were aware of this. He said yes. I explained that if he wanted a future in computers he would probably need a degree and that he’d need to graduate high school first. He said he understood what I was saying, and he’d think about it.
I kept getting emails from Bob’s mom explaining that he had an autism spectrum disorder, and that this prevented him from being able to pay attention in class, ask for help, express himself in writing, complete his homework or even care about school. I explained that if Bob showed up more, I would do everything I could to accommodate him, although I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to get around the whole writing thing, seeing as how this was an Honors English class. It didn’t matter because Bob still wasn’t coming to class.
An interesting change occurred in the middle of the semester. I received an email from the assistant principal stating that Bob had been put on probation and that if he did anything wrong such as come to class late, sleep in class or refuse to do work, he would be withdrawn from school. Well Bob was a new man. He came to class early every day for two weeks. He was awake and alert, added insightful information to class discussions and completed every assignment, both in and out of class. He also wrote one of the best essays of all the students in the class, even though his mother argued that his disorder prevented him from being able to express himself in written form. After the two weeks had ended, Bob was back to his old ways. I asked him why he wasn’t performing at the high level I had seen in the previous two weeks. He was rather matter of fact when he stated that, “The two-week probation is up. They’re not throwing me out, so I don’t have to care anymore.” Clearly this proved that Bob was capable of doing quality work and was simply choosing not to. If only he had a little discipline and a few consequences, he would do what he was supposed to.
I brought this up at the meeting we had with Bob, Bob’s parents, the assistant principal, the head of the Special Education department, the school psychologist and Bob’s special education case worker. Bob’s parents had brought a lawyer to the meeting as well because they said that the school was robbing their son of his right to a free public education. The school said that they were doing everything they could to assist Bob, but that if he wasn’t willing to do any work, they couldn’t help him. The lawyer said that the school was discriminating against Bob because of his autism. The school psychologist explained that if Bob really had such a high level of autism, the school was not equipped to handle that and that they would happily refer him to an alternative school in the district.
I was happy to share my interesting observation with the group. I said that I found it fascinating that Bob was the ideal student for two weeks when there was an actual disciplinary consequence. I explained in detail the way Bob acted, and even what he said about not needing to care after the two weeks were up. I also told them that he was up all night playing on the computer and that is why he is always so tired. No one said anything. The parents, their lawyer and their son were completely sil
ent with blank looks on their faces. The psychologist and case worker had big smiles.
The assistant principal said that this was a very interesting piece of information and seemed to prove that Bob was quite capable. The mom turned to Bob and said, “Maybe we should try taking your computer away.” Bob looked at her with contempt and replied, “Don’t you remember? You tried that once and it didn’t work.” The mom shrugged her shoulders. There was more silence. The lawyer continued his argument as though that little exchange never took place. The meeting yielded no solution. I didn’t see Bob for the rest of the marking period. A few days before the end of the semester I received the following thread of emails:
From: Bob’s mom
To: Bob’s counselor
Cc: All of Bob’s teachers
Subject: Bob
Dear Bob’s counselor,
I’m wondering if you can help Bob get any work turned in before the end of the marking period next week. He is failing all of his classes and does not know what to do. He does not understand what is required of him in class. He comes home and doesn’t understand what his homework is or how to do it. I am particularly interested in getting his English grade up to a D, because he did complete a few assignments. Can you help him?
I don’t know what to say about his other classes. Is there any way for him to pass?
Bob’s mom
From: Bob’s counselor
To: Bob’s mom
Cc: All of Bob’s teachers
Subject: RE: Bob
Good Afternoon,
At this point Bob has to ask the teachers what he can do. All of his teachers have offered him help but he won’t take the offers. The end of the marking period is in 2 days. His English teacher has really been trying to help him but he won’t let her. Everyone has been trying to help but he won’t take the help. He is doing quite well in Chemistry, because he comes to class and does the work. After the deadline was up for his contract with the assistant principal, he wouldn’t cooperate with his teachers and he refused to do any work. My hands are really tied on this because the teachers have been trying to help him and Bob felt that the contract was up and he didn’t have to do any work. His English teacher included you on the last email, telling you how he would not do any work on his research paper or even take a quiz. It appears that when Bob decides to do any work in any class he will.
Have A Nice Day.
Bob’s counselor
From: Bob’s mom
To: All of Bob’s teachers and his counselor
Subject: RE: Bob
Dear Bob’s counselor,
I know that Bob’s performance in school has not been great. But as a parent, I feel that more needs to be done to help Bob get the appropriate education to which he has a right. Bob has an autism spectrum disorder and is NOT willfully refusing teachers’ help and refusing to do work, although it may appear that he is. We believe that he is actually learning the material in the classes he attends, and needs an alternative way to show that he understands the content. It seems that his poor work-study habits are causing his grades to be low - not his knowledge of the subject matter. We would like to request that he be granted accommodations that make work-load adjustments, based on the following recommendations from his Neuropsychological Evaluation.
Neuropsychological Evaluation
(Note to reader: I have eliminated an enormous amount of this THIRTY ONE PAGE document)
RECOMMENDATIONS
1. Individualized selection of teachers. It is strongly recommended that Bob and his parents select appropriate teachers for the coming year. Due to his social disorder, a classroom format that emphasizes group or cooperative learning is likely to be the most difficult and stressful modality of learning. He will also require a classroom teaching model that allows him to work independently (i.e., not in groups), for learning, studying, and producing work output.
2. Teachers practice social skills. In order to support social development, Bob will require explicit training from his teachers in social skills, as well as specific mechanisms to ensure that the skills taught in training generalize to real life settings.
Bob will require a social skills training program for students with social learning disorders. As an example, this type of training program would explicitly teach Bob how to accurately read nonverbal communication, such as facial expressions and body language. If the school does not have this type of program, materials may be provided to assist in the creation of one.
3) Teachers role play. Social skills training should be integrated as much as possible across school settings. This will require the training of teachers, and identification of ways for Bob to build social skills within the classroom. As much as possible, teachers should role play and plan with Bob about appropriate ways of interacting within these specific activities, and then monitor his performance and provide feedback as needed. Bob’s teachers must be aware of the social skill that he is being taught in training each week. That way, the same social skill can be reinforced throughout the week across the multiple settings of Bob’s life.
6) People watching. Bob’s parents and teachers may also work towards improving his social awareness in real life by “people watching” with him. For example, teachers may watch a social interaction or group with Bob and discuss the nature of the interactions, the emotions of the different people, how they are related, the facial expressions and body language being used, etc.
7) Accommodations in class for Bob’s social deficits include the following:
i) While Bob works on learning appropriate social skills during group projects with peers, provide other ways for him to learn the academic information.
ii) If Bob makes remarks that seem rude or disrespectful, teachers should not try to correct or discipline Bob but explain the effect of his words later in a nonjudgmental manner. Do not assume that disrespect was intended.
iii) Teachers should be aware of the possibility that Bob is becoming over-stimulated and should allow a break from the social or cognitive activity of the environment. In addition, Bob should be taught how to request assistance at those times and strategies for soliciting the teacher’s attention in order to request a break.
8) Recommended accommodations for the classroom for Bob include the following:
a) Visual Schedules: As much as possible, provide Bob with advanced notice of changes in classroom schedules or routines.
Frequent modeling of planning, organizational skills, problem-solving, and emotional self-regulation is recommended. For example, teachers can explicitly model their own thinking when confronted with a multi-step task that requires organization or planning.
b) Teachers should incorporate Bob’s personal interests into teaching or relate new information to his personal interests in some way, to capture his focus and motivation in the classroom.
c) Preferential classroom seating. Bob should be able to choose a seat near the teacher’s desk to maximize his ability to attend and comprehend the teacher.
d) Lessons in organization. Teachers should help with organizing Bob’s desk, notebooks, and locker.
e) Individual Check-ins. When assignments are given teachers should have an individual conversation with Bob to make sure he understands the task, and help him develop an organized, step-by-step strategy for completing the task. Break larger tasks and assignments into sub steps, generating time lines for completion of each step, and monitoring progress. This should be presented to him as an opportunity to discuss his thoughts and ideas, and not as an additional academic requirement.
f) Homework review. Teachers should review homework assignments with Bob before he leaves school each day, making sure he understands the assignments, takes home the correct materials, and has a strategy or plan for completing each task. Provide Bob with individual reminders to turn in completed work.
g) Extra time. Extra time to complete assignments and tests will be required.
h) Copy of teacher’s notes. Bob should receive a copy of t
he teacher’s notes to minimize note-taking. When required to copy information from the board, teachers must ensure that Bob has accurately copied the information.
i) For self-esteem: Bob will benefit from having teachers acknowledge a good performance, and from their ability to create situations which will facilitate success. In addition, ensuring that Bob receives ample opportunity to excel in areas of strength will be essential.
9. Accommodations for standardized testing:
a) At least 50% extended time on tests.
Preferential seating, away from auditory and visual distracters, and in a smaller group environment is recommended.
b) Responding directly in the test booklet, rather than on the bubble answer sheet, is recommended due to Bob’s visual organization weakness.
10. Individualized Teaching of Executive Functioning Skills. Teachers should explicitly teach the learning of skills that other students may learn on their own, such as organization skills, study strategies, self-monitoring skills, good homework management strategies, and note-taking strategies.
a) Goals of individualized teaching may include assistance with organization of materials. Bob will need assistance and check-ins to make sure he is getting maximum benefit from such a planner. He should be assisted in setting up his notebooks for each class, and making sure he has a system for clearly recording and keeping track of assignments.
b) Bob is likely to benefit from learning to organize information for learning. Thus, he will need to be taught strategies such as outlining, organizing related information into meaningful categories or patterns, linking new information to previous knowledge, summarizing, and developing mnemonic devices.
c) Given Bob’s piecemeal / parts-oriented processing style, teachers should do activities that encourage relating the parts to the whole, or that focus on the “big picture.”
d) Bob will require assistance with the organizational requirements of reading independently for meaning. He should therefore be taught efficient reading strategies, such as skimming for meaning, using a highlighter to focus on main points, and developing outlines to help him organize the information.