by Mae Coyiuto
I woke up and saw Ian’s name on my phone.
“Do you want to go on an adventure?”
Later that night, I was standing in front of a huge football stadium. The people around didn’t look like they were going to a football game. Everyone had shirts that had three men with very dark eyeliner printed on them. Music was blaring, and there were posters of the same eyelinered men all around the grounds. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people before. Felix was the first one I saw.
“Hey, Felix!”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Where are the others?” I asked.
“Coming.”
“How have you been?”
“Good.”
He wasn’t exactly the chattiest person. I then saw Gabby, Rica, and Ian rush over.
Ian hugged me. I had never been hugged by a boy before (aside from my dad and my friendly cousin Winston). It felt different from when I hugged Jenny or my sister. Maybe it was because of the flatter chest.
“Five,” Ian said.
“What?” I asked.
“Shut up, Ian. He rates hugs. It’s a very biased scale,” Gabby said.
“It’s a very scientific process.”
“Really?” Gabby said.
“Yes. I made a hypothesis that you gave terrible hugs. I put this to the test, and it was like hugging a tree. Hypothesis was proven and my conclusion is…a five.”
He would be lucky if a tree wanted to hug him.
“Moving on from Ian’s nonsense, are you excited for the concert?” Gabby asked.
I was lost. “We’re watching a concert?”
“Not just a concert. The best concert ever!” Rica exclaimed.
“I can’t even pronounce the name of the band,” Ian said.
“But I don’t have a ticket,” I said.
“You don’t need one!” Rica said excitedly. “C’mon let’s go!”
They started walking toward the entrance and I followed behind them.
“Is this a free concert?” I asked Ian.
“No,” said Ian.
“So how are we getting in?”
“We’re going to improvise.”
Then it dawned on me.
“Wait. We’re going to sneak in? What if we get caught?”
“What if we don’t?”
Gabby gave us black shirts, walkie-talkies, and ID cards.
“When you get to the gate, tell them you’re a volunteer for the crew. Make sure you don’t give them a clear look of your ID. Make eye contact with people, talk like you belong, and act natural.”
“I think we should split up, so we don’t look too suspicious,” Rica said.
“Good idea. Ian, you go with Camille. Rica, Felix—you guys can come with me.”
The others ran to the next gate, and then it was just Ian and I. There were three other people; why was I stuck with Ian? I would have gladly agreed to be with Felix. At least, he was quiet.
“You nervous, Cam?” he asked.
“It’s Camille. And no,” I said. I didn’t want to be the same uptight girl that he thought I was. Although to be honest, I was terrified.
“Do you want to go first?”
“No, you go. I’ll be right behind you.”
Ian walked through the gate casually and flashed the guard his fake ID. He let Ian through. It looked so easy. I could do this. My heart was beating so fast. I was going to show my ID to the guard, exactly the way Ian did. I tried to look casual pulling out my ID, but instead I dropped my walkie-talkie.
“Can I see your ticket, ma’am?” the guard asked.
“I volunteer…oh um…I work for the crew,” I said. I quickly showed him the ID. I think it was an old library card with a picture of a ten-year-old Gabby. I don’t think my palms were ever this sweaty.
“Can I have a closer look at your ID, ma’am?” the guard said in a harsher tone.
Then I heard Ian’s voice.
“Cam! Run!”
I bolted. I didn’t know how I got past the guard, but I never ran so fast in my life. I could hear the guard calling out for me, but I didn’t look back. Ian caught up with me, and I think we knocked over a dozen unfortunate people.
“Here!”
Ian grabbed my hand, and we squeezed in with a crowd of people. The two of us stood still. I felt like I was paralyzed. I expected that the guard would suddenly grab us. We stayed like that for a while. I couldn’t believe we actually got away. Then I cursed.
“Holy shit!”
I don’t usually swear, but this situation called for it. Ian burst out laughing, and then I was laughing.
“Why couldn’t we buy tickets like normal people?”
“Where’s the fun in normal?” Ian said.
“Who are we watching anyway?”
“I don’t know. Some rock band.”
“We snuck in and risked our lives for a band you don’t even know?”
“How melodramatic. I don’t know them, but Rica and Gabby love them.”
He took out an iPod and plugged in earphones.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“This is a good crowd, and that’s a good stage. I might as well listen to some good music. Do you want to listen?”
“I think I’m going to listen to the band that’s actually playing.”
The eyeliner guys came on stage. The whole crowd went crazy. Then there was noise. It wasn’t music—it was noise. It was loud. Very loud. Unbelievably loud. I looked at Ian and he was smiling at me.
“How do you like it?” he shouted.
I hated it. But Rica and Gabby loved them, and I didn’t want them to know that I didn’t like them. “They’re okay.”
“Suit yourself!”
Ian went back to his own music. The band didn’t stop. It was like they were playing the same song over and over again. I was getting a massive headache.
“What are you listening to?” I shouted at Ian.
He handed me one of his earphones. It was rap music. It was hardcore rap music. He didn’t seem like the type of guy who listened to rap music. Then again, it was Ian. I didn’t really know what to expect from him.
“What is this?” I shouted.
“Real music!” he screamed.
To be honest, it wasn’t my type, but I did prefer it to the music that the band was playing. At least, it didn’t feel like someone was bashing my head with a pair of cymbals. Even if the music wasn’t too great, standing there with Ian felt nice.
I didn’t realize the concert was over until herds of people started moving out.
“So what music do you actually like?” he asked.
“I like Taylor Swift…”
“Hm.”
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just, she’s so…mainstream.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“I’m not saying it’s bad. I personally don’t like listening to mainstream music—that’s all.”
“What if that rap music you listen to becomes mainstream? Will you stop listening to it?”
“The world is not ready for the work of MC Rokafella.”
“You like his music because you can relate with it, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Maybe Taylor Swift is mainstream because she manages to have that effect on a lot of people. She’s other people’s MC Rokafella.”
He smiled and didn’t say anything after that.
It was a good thing Felix was tall. I didn’t think we would have found them afterward if he weren’t. Ian put his arm around Gabby.
“God, that was awful,” he said.
“It’s not our fault that you have bad taste in music,” Rica said.
“Didn’t you have even a tiny bit of fun?” Gabby asked.
“I did at the start. Cam almost got caught.”
They got so excited and begged me to tell them what happened. I don't think anyone ever looked that excited to hear me talk. I told them how I dropped the walkie-talkie, h
ow the guard was suspicious about my ID, and how Ian and I got away.
“I think Camille has just earned her right to decide where we’re going to eat tonight,” Gabby said.
“I don’t know a lot of restaurants in this area.”
“No, not a restaurant. We can’t end this night with an ordinary meal in a restaurant. Think of something else, something exciting!”
“Like what?”
“Where have you never had dinner before?”
I really couldn’t think of anything, so I said, “School?”
“I love it!”
I didn’t even know what time it was, but I was wide-awake. The school looked a lot prettier at night. Maybe the secret to better test scores was scheduling classes at night. We went to one of the classrooms and pushed all the desks to the sides. Gabby drew one big circle on the floor with chalk, and the five of us sat around it. We unwrapped our take-out meal of fried chicken, pizza, and fries. I wasn’t allowed to eat junk food, and that made eating it so much more awesome.
It was pretty obvious that Gabby was the “leader” of the group. She loved playing the game “21 Questions.” Although Rica told me that they never actually reached twenty-one. Gabby would give the question, and everyone had to answer it.
“What do you want to do after high school?”
“I’m going to USC to study film, and I’m going to be a director,” Rica said.
“Get a scholarship to play for UCLA,” Felix said.
“I want to go to London, study history, and visit every country in the world,” Gabby said.
“History?” I asked. I’ve never heard of anyone who wanted to study history.
“Can you imagine going anywhere, seeing anything in the world, and automatically knowing the story behind what you see? I think that would be incredible.”
I thought so, too.
“What about you Camille?” Gabby asked.
“Well, I have to study Chemistry, I have to go to med school, and I have to become a doctor like my dad.”
“That’s a lot of ‘haves,’” Ian said.
“What do you mean?”
“You kept on saying I have to do this, I have to do that…it sounds like you’re talking about things you’re obliged to do, rather than what you want to do.”
“So what are your plans?”
“None.”
“You’re not going to college?”
“Nope. I’m going to live—learn by experience. I’m going to spend my time doing the things that I want to do.”
“In other words, Ian’s going to be a bum,” Gabby laughed.
“Have you heard of the Mayan calendar?” Ian asked.
“Not really,” I said.
“The Mayan calendar supposedly ends its cycle on December 21, 2012 of our Gregorian calendar. People are saying that this is the day of the apocalypse.”
“Not this again…” Rica said.
Ian kept on talking.
“Some people are also saying that the planets will align on this fated day, and that will be the end of our planet.”
“Ian, that’s complete bull,” Rica said.
“Of course, it’s bullshit! Just because some calendar ends, doesn’t mean that the world is going to end. The planets have aligned in 1962, 1982 and 2000—and we’re still here.”
“Then why do you keep bringing it up?” Rica asked.
“Because a lot of bullshit comes true. And what if this one does? That gives us only a couple of weeks. I’m not going to waste my last few weeks trapped in the four walls of a university. I’m going to do things because I want to do them, not because I have to. I’m going to spend my time like the way I did tonight.”
“Why do you always talk like you’re giving us a lecture?” Rica said.
“Because you can learn a lot from me,” Ian laughed.
“Do you buy his whole apocalypse philosophy?” Gabby asked me.
“Say everything I said is going to come true. Aren’t you glad you’re spending your last moments here with us rather than studying or practicing ballet, Cam?”
I was, and I didn’t mind him calling me Cam that much anymore.
I hope this letter isn’t too long for you. I don’t usually have days as exciting as today, so I wanted to make sure I covered every detail.
Looking forward to meet you,
Camille
Dear Future Partner,
I really don’t understand boys.
I’m a classic NBSB. No Boyfriend Since Birth. Aside from Mason in first grade (who picked on me because my eyes looked like “someone drew lines on my face with a pencil”), boys never really notice me.
I didn’t recognize the number of the person who texted me this morning. I was half-hoping it was Ian.
“Hi :)”
“Sorry, who’s this?”
“It’s Felix. I hope it’s okay… I asked Ian for your number :)”
“Oh hi. What’s up?”
“Umm. I hope you don’t think this is weird or anything…but I ummm…just wanted to say…I think you’re lovely :)”
I didn’t know what to say. Was it rude that I didn’t reply?
I had other things on my mind. I used to think that science was my weakest subject. I was wrong. Chemistry is my weakest subject. I have a big test coming up, and I really need to do well on it. My mind was so occupied with different formulas that I accidentally poured three cups of flour instead of one during baking class. Our cupcakes came out as hard as rocks.
Felix almost slipped my mind until my phone buzzed.
“Who’s that?” Jenny asked.
School just finished, and we were walking toward the coffee place nearby. Thankfully, it was our day off from ballet practice.
“Is that Felix like the cute basketball player Felix?” she asked.
I nodded.
“Is he the reason why you missed practice?”
I didn’t want Jenny to know about the trapeze flying or the concert, so I said yes.
“Oh my god! Are you dating?”
“No! He just started sending me these weird texts.”
“What did he say?”
“He called me lovely.”
“Lovely?”
“Yeah. Do you know what that means?”
“If a guy calls you cute, he’s looking at your face. If he calls you hot, he’s looking at your body. If he calls you beautiful, then he’s looking at the whole thing.”
“What does lovely mean then?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s code for something. Do you like him?”
I don't know. It felt nice that a boy thought of me in that way. I guess I was flattered, but does that mean that I like Felix?
“He doesn’t even talk to me,” I said.
“Guys can be weird. They can get all shy when they’re around the girls they like.”
“But how can he like me if he doesn’t even know me?”
“Like I said, guys can be weird. Wait. Isn’t that Polo’s car?”
“Polo, the guy Nikki used to date?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s the one.”
I didn’t even know Polo, but I was mad at him. I was really mad at him. When you’re that level of angry, I think it’s impossible for you to do anything rational.
“What are you doing?” Jenny asked.
“I found a good use for our cupcakes,” I said. I threw a cupcake at the car. It was so hard that it left a small dent on the window. I was going to throw another one, and then I realized there was someone inside.
It was Nikki. She sat up, and her blouse was half-open. She stared at me, and I stared at her.
It was like all the anger suddenly drained out of me. I didn’t know the name for the emotion I felt, but I didn’t like it.
“Let’s go,” I told Jenny, and I walked away.
The two of us were quiet while we were in the coffee shop. Jenny only asked me one thing.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
&
nbsp; Jenny knew that I didn’t want to talk about it, and she respected that.
I remembered that Nikki said she thought the boy loved her. Maybe he really did love her. Then I remembered how much Nikki cried for weeks. I remembered the way she sounded when she asked me to stay with her in her room. How could someone who loves you cause you that much hurt?
I really don’t understand boys.
Looking forward to meet you,
Camille
Dear Future Partner,
I think one of my most horrifying experiences when I was a kid was when I got lost in a shopping mall. It might sound minuscule to you now, but it was traumatic for my five-year-old self. After that, I was scared to go to any mall. For a time, my parents used the code word "LLAM" to signal when they were going shopping. That proved pretty futile because I caught on pretty quickly and in addition to my fear of malls, I developed an irrational fear of lambs.
On one incident, I refused to go past the entrance. My parents were about to give up and head home when Lea came to talk to me.
“You’re going to be okay.”
“But I’ll get lost again,” I said.
“I can’t guarantee that you won’t get lost Camille, but if you do, I’ll never stop looking for you. Your big sister will always look out for you.”
My fear didn’t instantly disappear after then. It took me a long time. But I started trying. I kept on trying, and it got less and less scary. One day, I wasn’t scared anymore. Lea was there. She was always there.
We used to be really close. Even though Lea and I had a pretty big age gap, we were inseparable. I guess all younger sisters wanted to be just like their cool big sisters. Then I started to grow up, and she kept growing up. As years passed by, we spent less time together. It’s hard when you drift apart from people. It’s even harder if you don’t really know why.
Right now, she is on a business trip with Martin’s parents. She has been going on a lot of business trips lately. I wish she were here. I don't know who else to talk to about Nikki. Every time Nikki told my parents that she was going out, I knew she was going to see Polo. Nikki and I never talked about it. I knew she knew that I saw her in Polo’s car, but she acted like it never happened. I'm worried that she is going to get hurt again.
Felix texted often. When I woke up, his “Good morning :)” was the first message I saw. Before I fell asleep, his “Good night :)” was the last one I saw. It felt nice to have a reminder that someone was thinking about you.