I won’t lie. I can’t lie. I miss her. I miss her so much my chest aches when I think of her. I put up a front for everyone but I’m pretty sure they all know I’m dying inside. I don’t know which is worse; going to sleep or waking up without her in my arms. I haven’t even been on my bike much. Without her behind me, it seems pointless. She showed me what it meant to love and be loved. Now that she’s gone, I feel empty. Every time I pick up the phone to call her, I end up tossing it aside. There’s no way she’d want to talk to me after how I treated her that night. I was angry, but I had no right to say, or do what I did.
With a sigh, I trudge up the stairs to the bedroom. The bed is made and everything is in its place. The film of dust on the furniture is the only indication that no one’s been here in a while. I drop my duffle on the bed and head to the closet. Her half is empty, her cut the only thing remaining. It hangs there next to my shirts, taunting me. I slip it off the hanger, trailing my thumbs over the patch as I stare down at it. She’s the only one I ever thought of giving it to, and she’s the only one who’ll ever receive it. There’s no way I’m going down that road again with another woman. I toss it on the bed, intending to get rid of it.
I remove some clothes and stuff them in the bag. I notice a gift box on the closet floor, and throw it on the bed, too. The lid falls off, and a helmet rolls out. I pick it up, inspecting the art work. The face of the reaper on my car has been painted on the outer shell and visor, and the club logo is on the back. Raven’s tiny signature is on the side. Fuck. She did this for me. She customized a fucking helmet with her own hands. How fucking cool is that? Shit. I grab my chest, trying to soothe the sudden ache. Fuck that. This isn’t my fault. Shaking away the feelings, I drop it on the bed.
On my way to the bathroom, I glance at the dresser and see her jewelry box sitting there. Why would she leave that? I pick it up, flipping it open as I move to perch on the edge of the bed. Every piece of jewelry I ever gave her is sitting inside. She would be the one woman who didn’t keep jewelry after a break-up. Removing the “12 Gage” necklace, I stare at our names etched into the pendant, and think about the day I gave it to her. I’d already decided I was going to claim her. I picked up her cut the next fucking day. At the time, I just didn’t realize how much she really meant to me. She was always so proud to wear it, even though it’s nothing flashy—just a flattened base of a shotgun shell with our names. Still, she wore it like it was a diamond. Same thing with the bow ring. She never took them off.
Her engagement ring. The day I gave it to her, I went down on my fucking knee and slipped it on her finger. She was so happy. At least I thought she was. I pick up the charm bracelet and brush my thumb across the little heart. I gave that one to her the same day I gave her the ring. They were both supposed to be reminders of how much I loved her; how much I wanted to be with her. Too bad they didn’t work.
I really thought she was perfect. She’s gorgeous, smart, funny… although she has a smart mouth, it was cute. She’s a good girl who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. She’s supportive; I have my Private Pilot License as proof of that. She didn’t give me shit about the MC, or anything else as a matter of fact. Not to mention she loves to fuck as much as I do. Even if I came home late and she was asleep, all I had to do was tap her shoulder and she rolled over. With a woman like that, I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven.
She said she was scared. Now that I’ve thought about it—and I’ve had a lot of time to think about it—she was right to be. There were reasons I never wanted any kids before I met her. I guess I deserve some of the blame, too. I never asked her what she wanted. I told her how it was going to be and that was that. What makes me mad is that she didn’t talk to me. Instead, she behaved like a child, hiding it from me. Then again, she’s so young. Sometimes I forget she still has a lot of growing up to do.
I go around the bracelet and each charm, remembering every day, every event they represent. The bike—that first day she climbed on the back of mine and wrapped her arms around me. Subconsciously, I think I knew right then she was meant to be there. The grill. I smile as I think about the first time I saw her, and her sassy mouth that made me want to fuck the attitude right out of her. The monkey. I remember sitting on her couch that night, watching TV and eating monkey bread. I think that was the first time I realized she was mine; that I wanted her to be mine. And fuck it, she is. She still is. I can’t go on living like this, and I won’t go back to the way I was before her. I look over at her cut and the words on the rockers jump out at me—“Property of Reaper.”
She’s mine.
***Raven***
“Raven?”
With a blank stare, I turn to the boy who called my name. He’s been yammering on for God knows how long, and I just tuned him out, staring at the pool the entire time. I promised Laurelyn I would try to enjoy myself, and I am. I’m trying. This dude is just boring me to death. When she told me about her Labor Day weekend activities, I groaned out loud. It’s something she and Daniel do annually, but this year, she’s decided to show me off. I also think she invited everyone she knew who has a son my age. Mr. Boring here is just one in a long line today.
“Sorry, what was that?” I ask.
“I asked where you lived before this.”
“Georgia,” I answer in a distant voice.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just… this is not really my scene.”
“Ahh.” He nods in acceptance. “I understand.” I finish my drink and he reaches for my glass. “Let me refresh that for you.”
“Thanks.”
When he walks away, Toni comes over, touching my shoulder.
“How different is this?” she asks. “I think I prefer the outlaw bikers.”
“Tell me about it. But… I said I’d try so here I am.”
Mr. Boring—I think his name is Brett—returns with my drink, and I give him a smile in thanks. Out of nowhere, “Kissin’ On My Tattoos” blares from inside the house. The band Laurelyn hired stops playing, and everyone turns in the direction of the music. My glass slips from my fingers, shattering to pieces on the concrete.
“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” I ask Toni.
“Yep. I think I summoned them or some shit.”
Walking out to the backyard, dressed in full biker gear, is Gage, and pretty much the entire MC. Allah has a boom box on his shoulder, and a face splitting grin. I look back to Gage. His eyes are locked on me as he makes his way through the whispering crowd. I can’t believe he’s here. What is he doing here?
When he stands in front of me, I think I stop breathing. I stare at him, watching, waiting to see what will happen. He looks to my left with a scowl.
“Get your fuckin’ hands off my woman,” he growls.
Brett’s hand drops from where it rested on the small of my back. I hadn’t even realized it was there.
“Your woman?”
I jerk my head in Brett’s direction, astounded he’d question Gage. I didn’t think he had it in him. Then again, I wouldn’t have thought anyone did.
“Did I stutter, motherfucker?” Gage asks, moving toward Brett. Some of the other guys move forward, too, but I think it’s more of a scare tactic than anything.
“No. It’s just that I’ve been talking to Raven for a while and…” He smirks. “She hasn’t mentioned you.”
Holy shit. This boy has a death wish. Before Gage can bash his skull in, I jump between them.
“Please… Don’t make a bigger scene than you already have.”
I watch the muscles in his jaw work, as he most likely plans Brett’s demise. His eyes finally meet mine, and slowly, his expression changes from furious to determined. Grabbing my hand, he begins pulling me toward the house. I follow, still in shock that he’s really here. I meet Laurelyn’s concerned gaze and nod, indicating everything’s okay.
“Where’s your room?” Gage asks.
I raise a trembling finger toward the stairs. Before we climb the fir
st step, Dani stops us.
“Forgive her, Mr. Gage. She’s sad that she made you angry.”
He tips his head to the side, drawing his brows together as he stares down at her. After a dip of his head, he continues up the stairs.
“Which one?”
“The one at the end,” I answer, not sure how I found my voice. He lets me enter first, closing the door behind him. My heart rejoices at the sight of him. He’s here. He walked in to our song. Still, I try not to get my hopes up.
“You’re here,” I say, my voice coming out shaky. All I want to do is run into his arms but I stay rooted to the spot.
“I came to take you home, Raven.”
“Home?”
“Home. With me. Where you belong.”
A tingly sensation runs through my body. He came for me. He wants me back!
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“I want you.” He steps closer. “I tried, Raven. I tried but… I can’t be without you, either.”
“Gage….”
For the first time in weeks, I can feel my heart beating.
“We both did some shit,” he continues. “But I think we can get past it. Forgiveness is all a part of being in love, right?”
“Right.”
“And I do love you, Raven. I forgive you. Pushing you away only showed me that…” He shrugs, shaking his head. “I’m just a fraction of a man without you. You complete me.”
Tentatively, I close the distance between us and place my hands on his chest, tears spilling onto my cheeks. God knows I feel the same about him. Grasping my chin, he tips my face up to his.
“I’m sorry, baby doll. What I did that night….”
“You were a dick.”
“I was. I shouldn’t—”
“But you’re my dick.”
He sighs deeply as he wraps his arms around me. I bury my face in his chest, breathing in his scent. God, I missed him. He reaches into his pocket, and I pull back to observe him. He removes my ring, rubbing his thumb across the band as he stares down at it.
“I found this on the dresser yesterday. Made me realize where it really belongs.”
“You still want to marry me?”
“If you still want to marry me.”
“I do, Gage. More than anything.”
He slips it on my finger and encloses my hand in his, before reaching into his pocket again. This time he comes up with my bracelet.
“No more secrets, Raven,” he says as he clasps it around my wrist. “No lies. Got it?”
I step away from him, meeting his confused stare. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself.
“I have something to tell you.”
“What?” he asks, apprehension in his eyes.
“I promise I only found out a few days ago, and I was going to tell you when I knew for sure.”
“Tell me what?”
He moves closer.
“I’m… I’m pregnant.”
“What?”
“I missed my period and I took three tests. I made a doctor’s appointment, but I’m pretty sure. I’m pregnant.”
“But… how?”
“That last night.”
His gaze drifts down to my stomach.
“You weren’t still taking the pills?”
“No,” I answer. “Not after you found them.”
He places his hand on my stomach, his expression incredulous.
“You’re pregnant.”
“Yes.”
He reaches for my shirt, frantically undoing the buttons. When that’s going too slowly for him, he grabs the sides, and buttons go flying all over the room as he yanks them apart. He falls to his knees, placing his forehead on my stomach.
“My baby?”
“Our baby,” I correct him.
Placing a soft kiss above my navel, he pulls me closer. I run my fingers through his hair, moaning as he continues to drop little kisses on my skin. He reaches under my skirt, pulling my panties down my legs. Leaving them around my ankles, he reaches back up to circle my clit with his thumb. I moan, fisting my hand in his hair. With his free hand, he pushes my skirt out of the way and presses his nose to my mound, taking a deep breath.
“Fuck. It’s been too long. I need you, baby doll.”
He rises, lifting me in his arms and taking me to the bed. After he lays me down, I slide his cut off his shoulders and reach for his shirt. I need to feel his skin on mine. He tosses it aside, pulling me to the edge of the bed as he falls to his knees once more. Removing my panties, he makes them join his discarded clothes. I cry out at the first lick. It feels like it’s been forever since he’s touched me. By our standards, I guess it has been. His tongue swirls on my clit as he slips a finger inside me.
“My pussy,” he mumbles.
“Please, Gage. I can’t wait anymore.”
“You want my dick, babe?”
“No.” He leans over me, a brow raised. “I want my dick.”
His lips curl up in a smirk, and without argument, he gives me what I asked for. I grab his shoulders as he slides inside me.
“Just like that, baby doll,” he says before burying his face in my neck. “I’m home.”
He begins to move and I wrap my legs around his hips, my nails skating across his back.
“Kiss me,” I beg.
As his lips connect with mine, I moan into his mouth.
I have my Gage back. I have my heart back.
“I love you, Gage.”
“I love you, too, Raven.”
***Gage***
We walk back to the pool, and into a weird mix of bikers and socialites. Seems the guys made themselves at home. I couldn’t care less about the party. I have my baby doll back and that’s all that matters. That reminds me. I reach into my pocket and pull out her necklace. Her face lights up like the North Star when she sees it. She turns her back to me, moving her hair out of the way so I can put it on.
“The rest is waiting for you at home.”
When she turns to face me, she’s rubbing the pendant between her thumb and index finger.
“You don’t know how much I missed this… how much I missed you.”
“I think I do, doll. That’s why I’m here.”
She throws her arms around my waist, clutching the back of my shirt. I kiss the top of her head, happy to have her back in my arms.
Chopper wanders up to us with a big grin, keeping one hand behind him.
“We good?” he asks.
“We’re great!” Raven answers.
“Well, then… seems you’re just missing one thing, lil darlin’.”
“What’s that?”
With an even bigger grin, he shows us what he’s been hiding behind him—her cut. He helps her into it, then pulls her into a bear hug.
“Are you going to tell him or should I?” she asks me.
“Hey, Pop. Raven tells me you’re getting that grandbaby you wanted.”
“What? You’re…” He trails off, looking down at her stomach. “Are you okay? Do you need to sit… something to eat, drink?”
“I’m fine, Chopper.” She giggles. “It’ll be a while before I’m even showing.”
“Doesn’t matter. That’s my blood in there.” He points to her stomach. “I’m going to spoil you rotten ’til he gets here, then when he does, I’ll do the same to him.”
“How do you know it’s a ‘him’?” I ask.
“I just do.” He turns back to Raven. “I’m going to get you some food.”
When he leaves, I pull her into my arms, and whisper in her ear, “Happy?”
“I am now.”
“Me, too. Things are finally the way they’re supposed to be. Next order of business is to get you in front of a preacher as soon as possible.”
She turns to face me, her eyes filled with love.
“I can’t wait to be your wife.”
“Yeah. No getting rid of me then.”
“Who says I want to? You’re stuck with me, Gage Hunte
r.”
“The same way you’re stuck with me, Raven Alvarez.”
She smiles and presses her cheek to my chest. I take a deep breath, praying for morning so I can take her home; take my woman, my child to my house, my bed, where they belong.
Ain’t no way I’m letting her go again.
CHAPTER 9
***Raven***
“Sweetheart, are you sure you want to do this?”
I face Laurelyn with a heavy sigh of annoyance. This is getting old. I’m tired of trying to explain to her that this is exactly what I need. Why does she insist on ruining my day? My wedding day?
“You don’t have to marry him just because you’re pregnant—”
“I’m not. I love him. We love each other and we want to get married and have babies and spend the rest of our lives together.”
Turning back to the mirror, I watch as Ellen fixes the veil and my hair. She ended up making the preparations for the wedding, and I have to say, she really has a knack for this event planning thing. She’s going to be over the moon when Gage gives her his surprise.
“It’s just… I want the best for you, Raven.”
“And what makes you think it’s not what I already have?”
Ellen raises a brow at me in the mirror. I know she must be annoyed, too, wanting to stick up for her brother. I leave my chair, taking Laurelyn’s hands in mine.
“Look… I understand how you feel. But you need to understand and accept my feelings, Mom. This is what I want. Gage is what I want.”
Her fingers tighten around mine and tears well in her eyes.
“Don’t cry.”
“No… You… You called me ‘Mom’.”
“Oh. I guess I did.” I move closer to her, thinking about how far our relationship has come. It was hard at first. Her timing wasn’t exactly great. But, we’ve become close, and I’m at a point where I feel like I can talk to her about anything. “When you first showed up here,” I continue. “I had every intention of brushing you off, but it was Gage who convinced me to give you a chance. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have the relationship we do.”
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