by Eva Brandt
I swallowed around the sudden knot in my throat. I wasn’t sure I wanted to get used to that. I’d told myself that I wouldn’t lose my humanity, but it was getting increasingly clear that fulfilling that goal would be a little tougher than I’d expected.
“I never want to go into battle or anything like that,” I protested. “I don’t really…”
I trailed off when I realized I had no idea how to finish that sentence. ‘I don’t really belong here?’ I couldn’t say that, even if it was true and countless people—students and teachers alike—had pointed it out. I’d made Mikael a promise and I couldn’t abandon him now, because it was inconvenient for me.
Morrigan rescued me from having to come up with anything else to say, although not in a way I enjoyed. “What you want doesn’t matter, because you’ve already started a war. Didn’t you realize it, Alyssa? When you attacked David, you would’ve killed him had he not been already dead.”
My insides froze at her comment. It shouldn’t have shocked me as much as it did, because I’d known the blast had been very powerful and had done a lot of damage. But I’d seen Professor Jones walk around perfectly fine after that, so the possible consequences of my actions hadn’t occurred to me.
Shiro huffed in outrage at the not-quite accusation. He padded to my side, deftly avoiding the remnants of the dead birds. When he tugged on my gown with his fangs, I knelt next to him and absently petted him. TB was still on top of him, so I ended up scratching her scales too.
This was so crazy and I didn’t know how to feel. I couldn’t regret having enough strength to defeat the threats that targeted the people I cared about, but at the same time, I couldn’t afford to lose control of that power to the point of not even realizing I’d used it.
In front of me, Mikael clenched his fists and sparks of dark light danced over his hands and wrists. It was only for a moment, and then, he turned toward Morrigan and shot her a pleasant, meaningless smile. “Lady Morrigan, I hate to intervene, but could we be excused? Lyssa is tired. She’s had a long day.”
Morrigan couldn’t have missed the fact that he was furious, but she ignored it anyway. “Yes, of course,” she replied. “By all means. Take a break. I’ll speak with you later and let you know the results of your test.”
The latter sentence was clearly addressed to me and I knew I should be thanking her for her aid or providing her with any other kind of reply. My vocal cords refused to obey me, and Morrigan didn’t have the patience to wait. She didn’t bother retrieving her sword again either. Instead, she made an elaborate gesture with her hands, something that looked like an inverted cross, coupled with a pentagram. I had just enough time to wrap my arms around Shiro, before a surge of black feathers erupted from her body, engulfing me and my companions whole.
After my clash with the murderous crows, I should have probably tried to fight back against the feathers. But the magic that vibrated over my skin was comforting and quiet, and somehow I knew nothing bad would happen to me.
My instinct was proven correct seconds later when the black swarm dissipated into thin air, and I could see again. Much to my shock, I found myself standing in front of The House of Envy dorms.
I recovered from my surprise with ease and shared a look with Mikael. “I have to say, Mikael, I might dislike many things about this place, but the means of transportation are very convenient.”
“Yes and no,” Mikael replied, helping me up. “Not everyone can create a portal out of nothing, you know.”
“Well, that’s one kind of magic I’d love to learn as soon as possible,” I told him. “It could come in handy.”
“Noted,” he offered as he ushered me inside.
The House of Envy dorms were quiet, now empty of all students except us. During summer break, everything seemed lazier and more sedate, even the portrait of our patron, Leviathan. The dim rays of the sun filtered lazily through the green curtains, making the dorm seem sleepy and welcoming.
Side by side, Mikael and I headed toward our room. As Dean Mephistopheles had instructed me at the end of the previous year, I’d moved in with Mikael. As the head of our house, he hadn’t had roommates, and it was easy to accommodate another bed and a second wardrobe in his quarters.
It was less easy to live with a guy I was so attracted to and not jump his bones, but right now, I was too tired to think about that. As soon as I was inside our shared room, I felt exhaustion hit me like a wrecking ball. During the conversation with Morrigan, I’d mostly considered Mikael’s words an excuse, but it looked like he knew me better than I knew myself.
I collapsed facedown on my bed. Shiro joined me, curling by my side like he always did. TB curled against my right arm, the feel of her cool body comfortable and familiar.
Mikael grabbed one of the quilts off his bed and covered me with it. “Sleep well, Lyssa,” he whispered.
“Thanks,” I replied as I closed my eyes.
Considering how troubled I was, it should’ve been tougher to fall asleep. It wasn’t. I drifted off with almost alarming ease, my fatigue managing to overcome my restlessness.
I had no idea how long I managed to sleep, but the next thing I knew, the sound of raised voices stirred me from my slumber.
“What are you doing?” I heard Mikael ask. “When did you get here?”
“Half an hour ago,” another male voice replied. It was Stefan, and my stomach did a little flip when I heard him. “The Watchers told us you were back in the dorms. Everything okay?”
“That would depend on your definition of okay.” Mikael sighed. “Lyssa had to take the famous test today. It was with Lady Morrigan.”
“And you allowed that?” Callum snarled in outrage. “Mikael, we talked about this.”
I appreciated their concern, but I didn’t like their decision to blame Mikael for something that hadn’t been his fault. Even if Mikael had been responsible for what had happened earlier—and he wasn’t—I had no desire to see them fight again, especially not now.
I threw off the quilt and slid out of bed. The bedroom door was cracked open, and I left the room, padding barefoot through the angular hallway of the dorm. I found the three princes of the school in the common room, facing one another in visible anger.
Honestly, sometimes these boys were more exhausting than fighting off necromantic constructs that looked like floating, half-sentient blobs. “You do realize I don’t need a babysitter, right?” I asked without preamble. “I can protect myself.”
Like one being, Stefan and Mikael turned toward me. “Alyssa,” they said at the same time.
I still wasn’t sure I understood how the familiar bond between them worked, but today, they seemed in perfect sync, if only because of their shared concern for me. “Are you all right?” they asked.
Unlike Mikael, who’d stayed behind all summer, Stefan and Callum had occasionally left to their respective families. They’d been very mysterious about it, and to this day, I had no idea where their families lived and what they did. I hadn’t pried, though, since they hadn’t offered the information themselves. They always came back quickly, and I’d decided to set it aside, for now. They had the right to their privacy.
“I’m fine,” I told them. “I was just being stupid.”
“It’s not stupid to be a little overwhelmed from time to time, Lyssa,” Mikael protested. “Besides, Morrigan isn’t the most tactful person in the world. She could’ve been kinder when she told you the truth.”
“What truth is that, precisely?” Stefan asked, his dark eyes flashing with crimson fire. “What has she done now?”
“I was just having trouble dealing with the possibility of having to kill someone,” I explained in Mikael’s stead, “and she pointed out that if not for Professor Jones’s unique nature, I would’ve killed him. And I’ve been thinking back a bit. I mean… For a while now, everything that’s been going on at the academy hasn’t bothered me that much. When Ammit killed Berta and Bartholomew, I felt… I don’t know, satisfied, a little. Wh
at am I headed for?”
Stefan let out a heavy sigh and walked up to me. “Listen, Lyssa,” he said as he reached for me, “I understand where you’re coming from, but it’s not a bad thing to embrace your true nature. You might not be a demon like us, but mankind is inherently an envious, vengeful species. You’re not wrong to be resentful of the people who treated you like trash.”
When he cupped my cheek with his large hand, I immediately felt better. Still, I wasn’t comfortable with ignoring the issue. “Yes, but—”
“No,” Callum cut me off. “Stop questioning yourself. If you feel something, let it happen. There’s no real right or wrong here. You can feel whatever you want. Believe me, I’m an incubus. I know quite a lot about emotions, and I can tell you the worst thing you can possibly do is to suppress them.”
I bit my lower lip in anxiousness and confusion. “But what if you want to harm someone?” God—and Satan—knew I’d felt the urge to kill rising several times in the past, but I would’ve regretted it later had I pursued it.
“There are degrees of emotions in everything, Lyssa. Let’s say you don’t like someone and you think ‘I wish you died’. That doesn’t mean you actually want to kill them. Real hatred, the real desire to harm and kill, goes far deeper than that.
“I’m sure you disliked the Bones twins for the way they treated you, and you were perfectly entitled to. You don’t have to mourn them now that they’re gone. Don’t ever think you have to feel or be a certain way. Follow your heart. It won’t lead you astray.”
That was one piece of advice I could get on board with. Then again, maybe that wasn’t quite true since I hadn’t been following my heart much lately, not when it came to Callum, Stefan, and Mikael.
I kept doubting our relationship and postponing making a decision when I knew very well what we were headed for. I wanted them and they wanted me. It was so simple. Why couldn’t I accept it?
“Lyssa?” Mikael asked, his voice thick with concern. “You okay?”
Shaking off my distracting musings, I nodded. “Yes. Sorry. I was just thinking.”
Callum narrowed his eyes at me, and I could tell he feared I’d had one of my absence seizures again. But no, against all odds, despite receiving such a shock and having to complete Morrigan’s crazy test, I was fine.
“Tell me something,” I said. “Do you still want to fuck me?”
Callum’s mouth dropped open, his eyes going almost comically wide. Stefan’s breath caught and his hand twitched on my cheek. His claws emerged, nudging my skin without causing me any pain.
Meanwhile, Mikael frowned, looking confused. I couldn’t blame him for it, since just earlier today, I’d told him I needed to focus on my classes, not on my sex life. “I thought you said you…”
I saw the moment he decided not to question his good fortune. He trailed off, and then immediately decided to change tracks. “Of course we want to fuck you, Lyssa. We’ve wanted that from the first moment we saw you.”
By the time he finished the sentence, he was breathing hard, his pupils dilated, his magic swirling around him in a cloud of diffuse lust. Even if he was half-angel, there were times when his incubus background showed, and this was one of them.
Still, I had to admit that seeing the handsome demons so affected by such a simple suggestion was a huge boost for my ego. I’d never considered myself a seductive person, and yet, these three guys who were hotter than the hell we inhabited were falling over themselves to claim me.
The knowledge gave me the strength to end the dancing around we’d all been doing for the better part of a year. “Well, then, what are you waiting for?” I inquired.
It was the same question Morrigan had asked me during the test, although in my case, it had a very different meaning. On my lips, it also sounded a little awkward and uncertain. But it came out anyway, and it was the last push Callum, Mikael, and Stefan needed.
They had only been waiting for me, and now that I didn’t need that any longer, they decided to take what was theirs.
First Time
I was no stranger to sex. I might not have had it with another person before, but I was a young woman with a healthy libido. I’d been lucky enough to avoid major problems in that field, despite my epilepsy, so I masturbated all the time. I watched porn. And then, there was, of course, everything I’d seen since my arrival at the academy.
But nothing I’d done or witnessed prepared me for the onslaught of passion Callum, Mikael, and Stefan unleashed upon me.
It started simply enough. Since Stefan was closest to me, he grabbed me and draped me over his shoulder. “You’re so fucking lucky I don’t bend you over the couch and screw you right here,” he growled, his voice so deep and animalistic the words were barely understandable.
I would’ve liked to tell him that I wouldn’t have minded the rough treatment. I wanted it. But my ability to encourage him died a prompt death when he rushed up the stairs of my dorm, moving faster than humanly possible. I had to snap my eyes shut so I wouldn’t grow dizzy.
In some ways, that was a futile effort. Mere seconds later, Stefan reached the room I shared with Mikael, and I heard the door crack as he burst in. He dumped me on the bed, and I couldn’t have avoided looking at him to save my life.
He was already tearing his black shirt off, and I shivered at the savage intensity that burned in his eyes. Never tearing his gaze away from mine, he got rid of his boots and jerked down his pants. He wasn’t wearing any underwear—yay for going commando—and fire surged through me at the sight of his naked body.
Stefan might be a hell hound, but at that moment, a part of my brain couldn’t help but compare him with those Greek god statues I’d so often see in museums. Except for the tiny dicks. My God, he did not match them at all in that field. Not even a little.
Every single atom of my body seemed to respond to the sight of his thick prick. I’d seen him naked before. I’d even caught a glimpse of his erection once, although, at the time, I’d tried to not look. I was certainly looking now, because today, I was going to take that cock inside me. It would split me open, I just knew it. I must’ve run out of self-preservation during Morrigan’s test, because I found that I wanted that to happen.
Stefan crawled into bed next to me, covering his body with my own. His weight pressed me down into the mattress, and I embraced the feeling, needing more of it, more of him. With that in mind, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
As it turned out, he had other ideas on how this was supposed to go. He went along with my silent request at first, but the moment he crushed his lips to mine, he also freed himself from my hold.
All of a sudden, I found my mouth being devoured by a very eager hell hound, while said shifter was pinning me down to the bed with a strong hand.
“You’re going to be my fucking bitch,” he murmured, his hold on my wrists tightening to the point of pain. “Isn’t that right?”
He bit on my lower lip, and I could’ve sworn I felt a hint of fang threatening to slice my flesh open. I couldn’t touch him with my hands and couldn’t seem to make my vocal cords work either, so I wrapped my leg around his instead and ground against him. He laughed, but the sound came out breathless, wrecked, and almost lost. “That’s a yes, isn’t it? Fuck.”
Callum and Mikael intervened before Stefan and I could do much else. They weren’t quite as fast as Stefan, but they weren’t far behind either.
“Well, as expected, you were very enthusiastic,” Callum drawled. “I don’t blame you, but please, don’t start without us.”
Stefan ignored him. His free hand raked over my side and his claws slid through the flimsy material of my dress like a knife through butter. In mere seconds, my black gown was reduced to mere scraps. It hadn’t done a great job at covering me before, but at least it had been something.
Left in just my soaked panties, I felt more aroused and exposed than ever. Stefan pressed hot, feverish kisses over my neck, his clever fingers now roaming ove
r my sides, cupping my right breast. His claw teased my peaked nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure straight into my core.
Fucking hell. He’d only just started to touch me, and I felt like I was going to explode.
Unfortunately, that was the exact moment when Callum decided to intervene. He buried his fingers in Stefan’s dark hair and pulled him off me. “Now, now. Don’t be so greedy, Stefan. Remember you need to share.”
Stefan snarled at him, his gaze blazing like dark, fiery coals. “Fuck you very much, Callum.”
“Not today, handsome,” Callum replied without missing a beat. “Or at least, not right now. Right now, we need to focus on Lyssa. Isn’t that right, princess?”
I blinked at him owlishly. When Stefan had called me a princess, what seemed like an eternity ago, it had sounded weird, like a corny line. From Callum’s lips, it felt natural. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to be Stefan’s princess, but I did want to be his bitch.
Still, if he expected me to answer, he was delusional. I couldn’t say anything right now. I was just trying to process why the fuck Callum had decided it was a good idea to stop Stefan from touching me. That wasn’t nice of him at all.
Mikael took advantage of the exchange between Callum and Stefan to wriggle his way closer to me. “It’s fine,” he said. “If you guys are into one another more, I’m sure Lyssa will understand. Like I keep saying, she’s mine to please and pleasure.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, angel?” Stefan asked him with an unfriendly grin. “You’ve always wanted to rob us of her attention.”
As expected, the word ‘angel’ sounded like an insult. Mikael narrowed his eyes at Stefan, but Callum stepped in before Mikael could reply. “I have to agree with Stefan on this one, Mikael. We need to share.”