“That was a mistake, Brooklyn, but that’s not why I’m here. I heard through the grapevine your man is beating on you.”
“What? Who the hell told you that lie? Not every man is like you, Sincere.”
“Look, can I come in so we can talk?”
“Hell no, you can’t come in. Sasha isn’t here, and Jay would flip if he walked in and saw you here.”
“Oh, so you are scared of him?”
“I didn’t say that. I just don’t feel like arguing with him, that’s all.”
“Whatever, Brooklyn. I know you like the back of my hand, and I know when something is wrong. I just want to talk, that’s all. I’ll feel better if I know that everything is OK. My daughter lives here too, you know. I can’t have her living in a hostile environment.”
“Since when do you care about your daughter? Hell, I thought you forgot that you even had one.”
Sincere stepped up and kissed her. He didn’t speak. He only smiled and licked his sexy lips. Brooklyn couldn’t resist. She moved closer to him and kissed him again. Before she knew it, his hands were moving down to the small of her back, and she couldn’t stop him. Her pussy was practically dripping wet, and she could feel his bulge growing by the second.
She allowed him to ease off her shorts, while she stood as still as a statue. Her heart was beating so fast, she almost thought she was having a heart attack. He got down, pulling her shorts off, and as she raised her left leg to step out of the shorts, he met her throbbing pussy with his thick lips.
Her knees buckling, she managed to grab a hold of the door handle to keep herself from falling. She leaned back and held on with one hand, while she palmed his head with the other hand to guide him to the spot she needed him to lick. She was moaning so loudly, she was sure people in the other houses could hear through the thin walls. Hell, she would have probably had her ear up to the wall listening and playing with herself.
As she tried to rock her hips, he surprised her yet again, picking her up and resting her thighs on his strong shoulders. His face was buried in her pussy, while she now held on to the wall with both hands and pushed harder against his tongue. She had never had someone who could lick her this good. He was sending her down the slippery slope right into ecstasy. If she could stay in that position forever, she would.
After they had sex and he left, she began to feel guilty about what had just occurred. Somehow she felt that something bad was going to come out of it, but just what, she hadn’t figured out yet.
Chapter Eighteen
Is It Me? 1991
Two months following the slipup with Sincere, Brooklyn learned that she was pregnant. Not knowing for certain whether it was Jay’s or Sincere’s was racking her nerves, to say the least. She’d gone over the dates a million times, just to be sure, in addition to which, she was fighting her cocaine addiction. She didn’t remember her pregnancy with Sasha being so hard, but after this she was hoping that she’d never have to experience it again.
The months flew, and as she neared her due date, she became more afraid of the possibility of the unthinkable. She prayed that one mistake wouldn’t be the end of it all.
She got dressed and was on her way out of the door when her water broke. Fluid was running down her legs like she’d just peed on herself. She didn’t know what to do because she was home alone. She was so afraid, not wanting anything to happen to the baby or herself for that matter. She called Wanda and told her she had to come and get her.
In a flash Wanda came over and drove her to the hospital. When they got to the hospital, she was taken into a labor room immediately, and before she knew it, she was pushing. Jay wasn’t there because he was at work, and she didn’t have time to call him before the baby arrived.
By the time he got there, it was all over, and their gorgeous baby boy, seven pounds four ounces, was doing fine. Of course they named him Jay Jr. Jay was so happy, she could see it in his eyes.
That night Jay stayed in the hospital with her. He took care of the baby all night. By the time she woke up in the morning, he’d sent him to the nursery.
She turned and looked at him with a smile but instantly noticed that the joyful look from the night before was missing.
“Baby, how come you didn’t call me first?”
“Because ... you were at work, and Wanda was closer.”
“But you still should have called me first.”
“I was scared, Jay. And why are you so upset?”
“Because I bet Sincere got to see his baby born. That’s real fucked up. I wanted to be the first face that my son saw. Instead your girlfriend was.”
“So what did you want me do? Stay and have the baby on my own until you got there?”
“You know what, let’s forget it.”
“You brought it up. Why stop now?”
“I said forget it!” he screamed.
Jay yelled so loud, he startled her. She just sat there shocked, looking at him. He’d acted this way before, but hell, she’d just given birth to his first born. She didn’t know why he had to bring Sincere’s name up. She just stared at him, and without another word he got up and left.
Brooklyn didn’t see him until two days after she got home. He walked in with balloons, a teddy bear, and flowers.
“Hey, baby,” he said, smiling. “These are for you.”
“Jay, where have you been? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I’m sorry. I was just upset and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t want to hurt you or myself, so I left.”
“But I don’t understand why you were mad in the first place.”
“I don’t know either. I’m sorry, baby.” He paused, a faraway look in his eyes. Then he quickly said, “Can I hold my son?”
“Of course, you can hold him.”
This was the Jay that Brooklyn knew and fell in love with. The warm feeling that he gave her returned. She didn’t know what got into him at the hospital and prayed that things would be different.
Jay played with the baby the entire day. Around ten o’clock that night he said he had to go take care of some business and would be back in the morning. Since learning of the pregnancy, he rarely spent the night in the same bed with her, and she didn’t understand it. She wanted them to be a real family, but she didn’t want to pressure him for fear that she would push him away.
The following day Sincere surprised Brooklyn by bringing the baby a gift.
“Hi, this is for the baby,” he said as she opened the door.
“Well, thanks. Do you wanna come in?”
“Yeah, if that’s OK, because I wanted to talk.”
“Sure, it’s fine.”
They’d recently started being cordial toward each other. Brooklyn was glad that they could finally act like adults, for the sake of their daughter.
“I know I acted a fool when I found out you were pregnant, but I was upset. I know I did you wrong and that we may never be together again. But I don’t want to be enemies. I love you and would rather have you in my life as a friend than not in my life at all.”
“So what caused the change?”
“I know I was wrong.”
“Well, Sincere, I want to be friends too. I mean, we have a child together, and it’s not good for us to be mad at each other all the time. I know I acted funny too, and I apologize. But I think we can be friends, as long as you’re serious.”
“I am serious.” He smiled. “So can I just get a hug?”
“Yeah, you can get a hug.” Brooklyn laughed and reached out to hug him.
Right at that moment Jay came in the house. He didn’t see them hug, but he heard them talking. He came into the room, his face twisted.
“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” he said sarcastically.
“No, I was just leaving,” Sincere said, getting up to leave. “Thanks for listening, Brooklyn.”
“You’re welcome.”
As soon as Sincere left, Jay started hollering. “What the hell was he doing here?�
�� he said loudly.
“I do have a child by him, you know!”
“Well, she’s not here, so he has no business here.”
“Well, he needed to talk to me about something.”
“Oh, he needed to talk, huh? That’s bullshit, Brooklyn. I heard y’all talking.”
“And? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Oh, don’t try to play innocent with me. I’m not trying to hear that shit. I don’t know what kind of asshole you take me for!”
Jay was getting louder by the second. Again, Brooklyn was afraid of him and didn’t know what to say or do. She stood there frozen.
“Jay, what has gotten into you?”
“You, that’s what! Ever since you found out you were pregnant, you’ve changed. It’s almost like you were guilty of some shit. I mean, everything you say seems like you just made the shit up. I almost feel like I can’t trust you anymore.”
“No, Jay, you’re the one that changed. Where is all of this coming from?” Brooklyn started to cry. “I thought we were doing so good.”
“Oh, so now you’re going to cry? Keep the tears. I don’t have time for this shit. I’m out!” He started walking toward the door.
“Wait!” she said, grabbing his arm.
“Get the hell off of me, Brooklyn! Now!” he screamed in her face.
Brooklyn let him go, and he walked out, slamming the door so hard, the floor shook. She sat in the front room and cried for almost an hour, unsure of what the future held.
Things quickly turned from bad to worse, and Brooklyn often felt like she had no one to turn to. But a chance meeting with Stacey changed it all.
After Stacey finally got the courage to leave Sincere, she and Brooklyn were able to sit down and hash out their differences like women. She apologized to Brooklyn, who accepted her apology. She’d missed her friend and wanted to have her back in her life. The pain she’d caused by her betrayal had worn off, once she was able to get over Sincere herself. She didn’t want to be with him. She loved him still but knew he was bad news.
Brooklyn and Stacey began to hang together on a regular basis, since they had a lot of catching up to do. She would soon learn a lot about Stacey and what she used as a crutch when she was down and out.
After a huge blowout with Jay, she turned to her friend.
“Girl, I’m so glad you’re home,” Brooklyn said as she entered Stacey’s row home on Rising Sun Avenue with her two children in tow. It was snowing outside, and she’d caught a cab all the way from North Philly, praying she wouldn’t have to turn back around. She’d gotten into a big fight with Jay, one that left her with a black eye, and her children scared of almost every noise they heard on the way over.
Stacey grabbed her under her chin and glanced at her face before shutting the door. “Kids, go ahead in the back room with Janelle.” She pointed down the hall, while still looking at Brooklyn’s face.
As soon as the kids were out of sight, she began to question her. “What the hell happened to your face?”
“Got into a fight with Jay over money. Does it look real bad?” Her face was throbbing with pain.
“Hell yeah, it looks bad ... because your eye isn’t a damn punching bag. When are you going to leave him, girl? I just don’t get it.”
“I keep saying that I am, but I don’t have shit, Stacey. All of the money has run out, and I have two children to feed. What the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t even get a modeling gig to save my life. No one will hire a high school dropout. I’m so lost, I really don’t know what to do.”
“The same shit you told me to do when Sincere was whupping on my ass—Walk out!” she yelled.
“I wish it was that easy.” Brooklyn shook her head as she tried to get comfortable on the sofa. She looked over at her friend, whose face showed pity. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I just can’t believe what I’m hearing.”
“It is what it is, Stacey. I mean, look at me. I’m not the same Brooklyn you used to know.” She laughed.
Stacey didn’t find humor in what she was saying, though she was absolutely right. The Brooklyn she used to know would have walked away from Jay a long time ago.
“I just need to clear my head, girl. I will be OK,” she said, trying to convince herself.
“I have something that might help.” Stacey stood up from the chair she was sitting in across from Brooklyn.
“What’s that?” Brooklyn asked, hoping it would help take the pain away, whatever it was. She knew her relationship with Jay was far from over, that if she could have just a moment of solace, she’d feel a little bit better.
Stacey led her into her finished basement, to the room in the back behind the washer and dryer. As they neared the room, Brooklyn figured out what she was headed for.
From the outside looking in, you’d never know it, but Stacey was a functioning drug addict. She’d been hooked on crack cocaine for the past year, borrowing money from time to time to support her habit. Shortly after leaving Sincere, she hit rock bottom and used the lethal drug as a getaway. In the beginning, she hid it from Brooklyn, knowing about her struggle with drugs in the past. She didn’t want to be the reason that she got hooked. Eventually, it became harder, since Brooklyn was always around.
The basement was quiet and cold as Stacey pulled the cord connected to the light in the ceiling. Brooklyn didn’t say a word as Stacey dug into a drawer and pulled out a plastic bag filled with glass vials of crack cocaine. She turned to Brooklyn and revealed the bag and the crack pipe, which she had in the same hand. Neither of them spoke as they both knew what was next. Brooklyn thought about turning around and walking out, but she desperately needed to escape the hell she was currently living in.
Before long Brooklyn felt an unimaginable feeling and completely forgot about the troubles at home. The high didn’t last long, but the sickness she felt afterward was terrible. She vowed to steer clear of the drug because the short time span of the high didn’t nearly outweigh the bout of sickness that followed.
Things between her and Jay weren’t any better following that day, and the beatings became more brutal each time, so much so that she’d often be forced to run to Stacey and hide or be taken to the ER to be stitched up.
Depressed and desperately looking for a way out of the situation, she’d decided to give the drug one more try after Stacey promised her that she wouldn’t be sick from it. Stacey explained that her lack of experience with the drug was what caused the sickness, that if she showed her how to use it properly, she’d be hooked. And that was exactly what happened.
Brooklyn, at rock bottom, was unable to resist. She finally found a way to survive, knowing there was something that could help. It wasn’t the ideal situation or the wisest choice, but for some time it worked.
With the help of the drug, she was finally able to walk away from Jay and get on with her life. She planned on finding a new man, one who could appreciate her, knowing that hitting was out of the question.
Chapter Nineteen
On to the Next 1992
Brooklyn was excited about her date. She’d finally found someone who appeared to be a nice guy. After years of abuse and going back and forth with Jay, Sincere, and drugs, she felt good about the future. She believed that a good man would be the key to a full recovery. She didn’t know what he had planned, but she was anxious all day, waiting for the time to come. She’d fixed her hair and makeup and sprayed some perfume on, hoping to excite him. She wasn’t expecting to have sex, but she wanted to be prepared.
Once he arrived, she was even more excited to head out on the date. From what she remembered, Mike was a good-looking brother. Though she was still trying to get over Jay, she had learned from past experience to never get her hopes up too high too soon. She also swore to never allow herself to get played again.
“Wow! You look good!” he said, as she opened the door.
“Thanks,” she replied. “So, where are we headed?” She anticipated enjoying herself
and prayed that this date would turn out as expected.
“It’s a surprise. Do you like surprises?” he asked, reaching his hand out for her to grab hold of it.
“I love surprises!” she admitted, before grabbing his hand and closing the door behind her.
They drove for what seemed like an eternity before arriving at a black-owned, Southern and Italian cuisine restaurant in New Jersey. She fell in love with it immediately.
Seated at the reserved table, Brooklyn thought the dim lighting and candle lights made the mood romantic. “This is a really nice restaurant, Mike. I’m impressed.”
“Why? I don’t look like a classy dude?” he asked with a smile.
“Oh, no. You look very classy. I just didn’t expect you to bring me here on a first date. I’m sure it’s really expensive, since the menus don’t have prices on them.” She laughed.
Joining in the laughter, Mike replied, “Damn! You noticed that? That’s funny. But the money isn’t an object for me.” He had brought a bottle of Dom Perignon to the small, quiet, bring-your-own-bottle restaurant. “You’re a beautiful lady, and I don’t mind treating you well. Stick around, and you’ll see I have a lot to offer.”
Mike looked even better being suave. Though his words could have been genuine, it was hard for Brooklyn to believe what men said. He was turning her on, though, and if things went well, she would keep him around. Even if it was just to be a friend, he was good company.
“Well, I appreciate that, Mike,” she said, smiling.
The food took an extremely long time to come, but while they waited, they brought out a sample of an appetizer, with red pepper, cheese, oils and crackers. She was at first turned off by the look of it and afraid to eat it.
It wasn’t until the chef came out from the back to greet everyone that she gathered up the heart to try it. How could I not try it with the chef standing there telling me how good it is? she thought. Surprisingly it was really good, and she was glad that she’d tried it.
Dinner went off without a hitch, and soon they were heading out of the restaurant. She wondered what he had planned next. She was a little tipsy but could stand for a little more fun.
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