by Penny Blush
“She’s tough Memphis, but she can only bend so far before she breaks. If that happens again, if she breaks I’m pretty sure that she will shatter. I don’t know if I’ll be able to put her back together again.” I took a deep breath, locking eyes with him so that he could see that I was not fucking around. “Tell Hedge Memphis. Tell her, or I will.”
It had almost destroyed both of us, getting her out from under her past the last time, all while keeping everything from my parents and her brother. She did make it out from under it though. Hedge came out the other side a much stronger person, mentally and physically and our relationship was stronger for it. Having said that; it’s something that I never wanted to go through again, but if she did, just like before, I would be here to catch her if she fell.
“I’m serious man. Tell her, or I will. It will be a thousand times worse if it comes from me. It is not my story to tell. You have to be the one to tell her.”
We eyeballed each other for a good five minutes, and I could see the internal war being raging that Memphis was having with himself.
“I told you before break her trust and you will never get it back. Be smart Memphis, or you will lose her.”
The silence stretched out between us. The apartment quiet and still, save for the sound of water running in the shower. Then the unmistakable sound of Hedge crying broke the silence. It wasn’t just crying it was full-on gut-wrenching soul-shattering sobs. I knew she had only just been keeping it together. The tight control she had on her emotions finally breaking in the confines of the shower. Tears gathered in my eyes as I looked in the direction of my hurting cousin. I looked back at Memphis, wiping away the tears that had escaped the tight hold I had on them.
“Okay, Jax,” Memphis said quietly. “I’ll talk to her.”
Chapter 2 Hedge
I showered, dressed and then went back into the kitchen to get Jax to help me move Memphis to my bedroom. The sight of him laid out on the bench in the center of the kitchen had my heart skipping a beat. He was so still. So quiet. I had to concentrate intently on his naked chest to see the shallow rise and fall of his breathing. His skin looked waxy and slightly grey, and with the small white towel across his lap, it looked for all the world like Memphis was laying on the slab in a morgue.
“Feel better?” Jax asked flatly as I approached.
“A little,” I smiled tightly. “How’s Memphis doing?”
“Okay, I guess. He can’t seem to stay awake though,” Jax indicated to the sleeping Memphis.
“That would be due to the small amount of anesthetic and painkillers I gave him. That and his body will shut down all non-essential functions to help him heal. The human body is an amazing machine.”
“Kind of like Kirk, diverting power to the defense shield,” Jax said with a smirk.
“Yes Jax, if Memphis’s body was the ‘Enterprise’ then, yeah sure.”
Seriously, my cousin is such a dork. I took a moment to take in the ridiculousness that is Jax before turning back to the mountain man lying in my kitchen. For someone so big and formidable looking, Memphis looked so vulnerable and weak. Memphis was so damaged, and it just about broke my heart.
“We should move him before he gets too settled,” I said flatly.
I was running on leftover-adrenaline and fumes. My body was on autopilot, working on muscle memory all my movements sluggish. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep. I craved the moment I could drift off to dreamland with Memphis in bed beside me and forget that any of this happened. But, I knew there was still plenty of work that needed doing before I could sink into the welcoming warmth of my bed, allowing sleep to claim me.
“You can hold the towel,” Jax said pointing to Memphis’s lap. I shook my head at him. “Well I’m not covering his junk,” he complained. I rolled my eyes at him holding up a pair of boxers. “Okay good,” Jax breathed a sigh of relief.
Jax helped me slowly, and carefully as possible pull the pair of loose boxer shorts onto Memphis, who didn’t move.
“Memphis, Baby, I need you to wake up for me,” I said softly stroking his face. His eyes fluttered open but quickly fell closed again. “Come on, sweetie. I know you’re exhausted, but I need you to do this one last little thing for me okay, then you can sleep for as long as you like.”
I didn’t tell him that I would have to wake him every few hours to check on him and get him to drink something to make sure he stayed hydrated. The Box didn’t have what I needed to put up an IV to help with his fluid intake. It was one of the few things that I didn’t replace when I agreed to mothball The Box, but it would only take a phone call if I needed it.
“C’mon Bud, up and at em’,” Jax said, standing on the other side of the bench.
“Just… just leave… me here,” Memphis murmured, his eyes rolling in his head as he tried to keep them open. “Just let… me r-rest.”
“Baby, you can’t stay on the kitchen bench, it’s not very safe,” I said.
I lightly tickled his ribs, trying to get him to fight his way through the fog of unconsciousness that wanted to drag him back under. He just needed to stay awake for a little while longer. Just long enough to get him into bed.
“Dude, it’s going to be super hard to make pancakes for breakfast if your naked ass is on the bench.”
“Eat cereal,” Memphis muttered. Jax and I looked at each other and burst into laughter. “Don’t… laugh,” Memphis groaned. “It… hurts.”
“What hurts?” Jax asked concerned.
“Everything,” Memphis replied.
“Sorry Baby,” I said kissing his forehead. “We’re not laughing at you; it’s just that it’s been a long night.”
“We should… get t-to… bed then.”
Just talking was a massive effort for Memphis, moving him to the bed was going to wipe him out completely.
“Okay Bud,” Jax said, taking charge. “We’re going to sit you up slowly. Take your time; there’s no rush.”
Memphis nodded his head slightly. His poor blue eye was swollen shut his chocolate brown eye looking at me unfocused. “Let’s do it.”
“Baby, this is going to hurt, moving is going to hurt like hell. I promise you that I will give you something for the pain once you’re in bed. Until then you need to help us get you to the bedroom, but you need to remember to breathe okay, keep breathing. Don’t hold your breath or you’ll pass out.”
He nodded again. Jax clasped Memphis’ left hand and slid his hand under his shoulder. I did the same on the right.
“On the count of three,” Jaxon said, “everyone ready?”
“Yes,” I said.
“No,” Memphis muttered, “but fuck it lets do it, anyway.”
“Okay on the count of three. One, two, three.”
Memphis held his breath then howled in pain. “Stop, stop, stop! Please just leave me!” Memphis begged, panting heavily.
“Dude you’re almost there,” Jax said encouragingly. “Cuz, just get him sitting up, then he can take a break.”
I looked at Jax, tears flooding my eyes, but we got Memphis up. Jaxon stood behind Memphis with his hands on his back, keeping him upright while I slowly dropped his legs over the side of the bench, turning him. Memphis looked green, felt clammy and was whimpering in pain. My heart hurt for him. I stood between his knees, letting him fall forward into me. Sitting up took all his energy.
He sat on the edge of the island bench in the kitchen with me standing in front of him holding him upright. Memphis rested his head on my shoulder, his hands had a soft grip on my hips, and he breathed shallowly trying to fight back the dizziness and nausea that moving caused.
I don’t know how long he sat like that, his breaths ragged whimpering now and then.
Jax stood slightly off to the side, giving us a moment, while staying close enough to swoop in if I needed him. My tears fell silently as I gently ran my hand up and down Memphis’ back, trying to calm and comfort him, while taking a little for myself. It killed me that I couldn�
��t make his pain go away. I didn’t really want to give him any more painkillers before we moved him.
Memphis shifted like he was going to stand, the small movement made his breaths rasp, sweat broke out across his skin and his grip on me tightened as he moaned in pain. Against my better judgement I conceded and administered more pain meds. After a while, his breathing evened out a little, and his pain-filled whimpers morphed into sporadic moans. Memphis slowly tilted his head, placing a soft, delicate kiss on my jaw.
“Ready,” was all he said.
“Come on Baby, let’s get you to bed.”
Just moving him the short distance from the kitchen to the bedroom took forever. Moving more like a man in his eighties than a fit young thirty-year-old. He limped and inched his way - leaning heavily on Jaxon - slowly to my bed, holding his side, being careful not to tear any of his stitches.
We got him into the room then sitting on the edge of the bed, completely exhausted he slowly leant back. Memphis was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Jax helped me lift his legs up onto the mattress.
Once we had made him as comfortable as possible, I pulled the blankets up around him, giving him a soft kiss on his bruised and swollen lips. I heard Jax leave the room, but still, I checked over my shoulder to make sure we indeed were alone before I leant down, kissing him again.
“You have to get better Memphis. I need you,” I whispered.
Despite the beard covering his face, I could see the bruises blooming. His brow pinched slightly in pain. I ran my fingers across his forehead, hoping to ease his tension. I had given him an injection of a slow release pain killer after we sat him up, I didn’t want to give him too much with his breath still being shallow, most likely from his bruised ribs. I hadn’t wanted to give him anything until we had him in bed, but he was in so much pain that I was worried that he would pass out and he is so big we would never have gotten him into bed.
“Baby, I… I think I might love you, maybe, a little bit. So, you see, you have to get better.” I gave him another soft kiss and gently stroked the back of my fingers across his beard. “I love you. I need you in my life, come back to me Baby.” I kissed his swollen lips a final time. “Sleep sweetly, Memphis,” I whispered as I pulled the bedroom door closed.
I found Jax in the kitchen making coffee.
Looking at the clock on the microwave, I realised that it was five o’clock in the morning and I was simultaneously exhausted and wired. I felt like I could sleep for a week, but I didn’t think it would have been possible to sleep at this point even if I tried.
“You okay, Doll?” Jax asked, handing me a steaming hot cup of coffee.
“Got anything stronger?” I asked, giving a tired laugh. “I’m fine Jax,” I said, taking a sip of coffee, sighing as the vanilla flavor hit my tongue. “I’m just worried about Memphis, that’s all.”
“I hate to tell you this Hedge, but you’re not fine.”
“Jax…”
“Cuz, I heard you crying. We heard you crying.”
I thought I had gotten rid of all my tears in the private steam-filled comfort of the shower, apparently not. I felt the tears well up again, spilling down my cheeks.
“Jaxon what’s going on?”
Jaxon put his coffee cup down and wrapped me in a bear hug and did the only thing he could, held me tight while I cried. I cried for Memphis and the pain he was in. I cried for Jax and having to see his friend beaten and bloody. I cried for me, for having to ask for the damn Box, for having to involve Jax, for the heart-shattering anguish of seeing my gorgeous, larger-than-life man suffering.
When the soul-wrenching sobs receded, I untangled myself from Jax, grabbing a tissue off the counter, wiping my face. I pulled myself up on the bench, taking a sip of my lukewarm coffee.
“Jax, what’s going on?” I asked again.
“Doll, you’re going to have to talk to Memphis,” he said over the rim of his coffee cup.
“Jax, please, I’m asking you.”
“Talk to Memphis.”
“I’m talking to you!” I raised my voice, getting frustrated.
“And I am telling you - to talk to Memphis.” He said, enunciating every word slowly.
“I’ve tried,” I ground out slamming my coffee cup down harder on the counter than I meant to. “Memphis always gives me the same bullshit about trying to keep me safe,” I hissed, trying to keep my voice down, so I didn’t wake the giant pain in my ass up.
“Talk to him,” Jax placed a hand on my shoulder as I rolled my eyes at his redundant argument. “I made him promise to tell you. I also told him that if he didn’t, then I would.” He held his hand up to stop me from asking. “BUT, you have to ask him first.”
“Fine,” I said wearily, sliding off the counter and rinsing my cup in the sink. “We need to clean up the mess downstairs. We can’t have anyone finding it.” Jax looked at me like he was going to argue. “Do you want to explain all this to the boys or Cassidy?” He shook his head. “C’mon, let’s just get this over with, and then I’m going to bed to sleep for a week.”
We trudged downstairs to the empty shop, grabbing gloves and garbage bags from the kitchen as we went. Honestly, I just wanted to go to bed and forget tonight ever happened. But, I knew that we weren’t even close to being done just yet. The only saving grace was that as it was Sunday, and the shop would be closed. Tomorrow was a public holiday, so we wouldn’t have to worry about being caught by the guys turning up for work, but they did like to drop in and hang out, so we couldn’t be too careful.
Jax shoved the vacant shop door open and pulled a few boards off the high window to let in some light. I looked around, and I stood motionless shocked by what I saw. With the sunlight streaming into the open space, I finally got to take in everything that I had ignored in my panic to help Memphis.
“Jax, has he been living here?”
I scanned the open space. There was a bed, well actually it was a mattress on the floor, but it was a neatly made. Shoes were lined up along the opposite wall with a portable clothes rack holding a few pairs of jeans and a couple of button downs.
A clothes basket next to it held neatly folded clothes. Books lay in stacks like soldiers at attention near a small bar fridge, and some random furniture was piled in the corner waiting for organization into some semblance of functional living space.
What the hell am I looking at here? What the fuck is going on?
“Jax,” I turned to my cousin and saw the same shocked look on his face, “has Memphis been living here?” I asked again.
“Looks like,” Jax said running his hands through his hair. “Fucking Memphis… Fucking… Stupid… Stubborn… Ahhhh!” He roared kicking over a cardboard box, clothes scattering across the tiled floor.
We both just stood there, looking at the unfathomable sight that was Memphis’ living arrangements.
“Cuz, I swear if he weren’t all beaten to hell right now I’d go upstairs and kick his fucking ass.” He looked at me with hurt and sadness in his eyes. “Why didn’t he say anything? Why didn’t he ask for help?” Jax didn’t want me to answer, not really.
My heart was breaking. What the hell had he gotten himself into? Why was he living like this? Why didn’t he say something? If not to me, then to Jax!
“Jaxon, he cannot live like this,” I said determinedly. Jax didn’t say anything; he just shook his head. I righted the kicked over cardboard box and looked at Jax with resolve and shoved the box in his direction. “I’m not going to let Memphis fight me on this. Help me move all this stuff upstairs.”
“Why?” Jax asked looking at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Because I’m moving Memphis in with me, that’s why.”
“Doll, you sure your relationship is at that stage?” Jax asked deadpan, trying to make light of the situation.
“Hilarious Jerk-face,” I stood with my hands on my hips. “You do know Memphis stays over most nights, right? Besides, I have a spare room you know. So, if he doesn’t want to
move in with me, the spare room is his until Memphis can prove that he has found somewhere better to live than this, because he is not staying here.”
“He might not like this,” Jax said, reluctantly stuffing Memphis’ belongings into the box. “He’s stubborn you know.”
“Jax, you’ve met me, right?”
“Yeah, good point. I’m pretty sure that in a battle of the stubborn asses you’d win.”
I started sorting through the empty shop in my mind – what to take upstairs, what to put in storage.
“He’s gonna fight you on this,” Jax said.
“He can try.”
It took us a couple of hours, but we finally got Memphis moved into my apartment, all his belongings we stacked against the wall in the spare room to deal with later. The furniture, we left in the empty shop. We would move it into storage at some point.
I stood leaning against the back wall of the shop with my face tilted to the sun as Jax re-secured the door. The sun heated bricks warmed my back. I stood there just breathing, trying not to think. Sunlight reflecting off something flashed a bright light across my face.
I tried to ignore it and just be, for a moment. The flashing continued, I opened my eyes and realised that the flashing light was the sun bouncing off the screen of Memphis’ mobile phone sitting on the dash of his car.
“How is he not dead?” I said my thought aloud.
“Lucky, I guess?” Jax said putting the final screw in the new lock for the door.
“Jax, he drove home,” I said indicating to his truck. “He drove back here in that condition.”
Jax turned to look where I was pointing. “I am going to fucking kill him.”
We walked to the truck to find the driver’s side door slightly open and the keys still in the ignition, his phone on the dash and wallet in the center console. With everything else that had been going on somehow both of us had managed to miss his car.
“Oh, my God,” I gasped, opening the driver’s door further. There was so much blood everywhere and what looked like a bullet hole in the headrest.
“Holy Shit!” Jax said, looking over my shoulder at the carnage.