by Penny Blush
“Okay so, where was I. Oh right, so by the time I was twenty-one, I was a killer. The only saving grace such as it was, was that I didn’t have to do anybody disposal. There was a cleaning crew for that.”
Memphis stopped massaging my legs, long enough to pour me another drink, sliding the glass in front of me, indicating that I should continue.
“This went on for years, and then after a while, I became numb to the fact that my day-to-day job was ending people's lives. I just stopped asking what they did wrong. My uncle would give me a name and a location, and I would go to work.”
“What made you stop?” Memphis asked.
I hesitated for a moment, “Davan.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah, Jaxon and I spoke every week without fail. Jaxon called to say that he hadn’t heard anything from Davan for a while. I had stopped trying to contact Davan. I was sick of calling and getting the automated voice recording saying that there was no information available. So, I just stopped calling. I didn’t feel so bad about checking on my brother because I knew that Jax was still in contact with him, so I knew that he was okay.”
Any time Jax called the service number he got the same recorded message that I had been getting, but if there were a message from Davan, Jax would forward it to me.
It was normally a short recording saying, “I’m fine, don’t worry and I love you.” I would listen to it over, and over again just to hear my brother’s voice. Then all messages just stopped.
“It had been a few weeks since Jax had been able to contact Davan. Contact just stopped; phone, email, the recording - nothing. Jax begged me to come home. My aunt and uncle were freaking out, and Jax said he could handle it. But there was something in his voice that had me on edge. I told Uncle Charlie that I had to go home.”
I shook my head remembering the look on his face when I told my Uncle Charlie that I had to go that my family needed me.
“What do you mean your family needs you? This is your family. I am your family,” the kind caring tone that I associated with Uncle Charlie was gone and replaced with the hard, intimidating tone of Charlie ‘The Boss’ Benedetto.
“But Uncle Charlie I have to go. It’s my brother. Please understand, I have to go.” I pleaded, trying hard not to let my emotions get the better of me.
“You know the deal, you leave the UK and you’re out, there’s no coming back,” Uncle Charlie muttered.
“It’s Davan. I have to go,” the tears I have been suppressing start bubbling up.
“You, better than anyone, know the price for getting out. There are two ways out, death or wishing that you were dead.”
“What happened?” Memphis asked, shifting me so that I was sitting between his legs, my back leaning against his chest. Memphis had one knee bent, and I slowly ran my hand up and down on his leg anchoring me to the present so that I wouldn’t get lost in memory.
“Uncle Charlie gave me two options, death, or a beat out.”
“A beat out?”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Oh, Baby Girl,” he kissed me on the cheek.
“I’m not going to give you all the details,” I said, lacing my fingers with his wrapping his arm around my waist. “It lasted for days, possibly weeks. I lost track of time. I was in a windowless concrete room. I held out as long as I could. I was determined not to let them break me. Uncle Charlie thought that I would give in and use my one and only out to end the torment. He was hoping that I would change my mind and agree to stay.” Memphis hugged me tighter giving me the strength to finish. “I’m not sure how long it had been, but eventually Uncle Charlie came in declaring that I had paid enough and that I was out.”
Again, my memory took hold.
Uncle Charlie squatted down in front of me as I curl in on myself. “You’re free,” he whispered. “You continue to impress me my little Morningstar.”
He slowly helped me to my feet. I was hunched over and limped my way over to the stretcher bed that was against the wall. I was in so, much, pain.
I managed to switch off the pain receptors in my brain and methodically start assessing the damage to my body. Broken nose, multiple fingers, and toes, a fractured eye socket and cheekbone. My lip was torn in three places. My right eyebrow was split and would need stitches; dried blood had crusted on my face.
I didn’t think that I had any serious internal bleeding, but I definitely had bruising to my kidneys, liver, and spleen.
The movement also confirmed that I had at least two broken ribs and more than a few cracked ones.
“You lasted longer than any man,” he said with pride in his voice. “I could have stopped all of this, days ago, but I wanted to see just how far you would take this.”
‘I could have stopped all of this, days ago,’ those words roll through my brain on repeat. That motherfucker. I wanted to rip his throat out, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction.
“I can’t believe you are willing to shelve a talent like yours for him, for some guy,” Uncle Charlie sneered.
“My brother,” I state through gritted teeth, my jaw screaming.
“Morningstar,” he crooned cupping my cheek. “You are out now, and you can never come back.” He looked me dead in the eye, making sure I see the seriousness in his gaze. “You can’t contact anyone from this life. You can contact me for family matters, but that is all. You can keep your martial arts training up. I know that’s how you cope with things, but you cannot use any of your other skills again.”
I blink my reply after what I had just been through I couldn’t care less. If I never hear the name ‘Morningstar’ again, it will be too soon.
“Morningstar, if you do, you won’t like the consequences.” He said menacingly, “Morningstar is dead.”
“Morningstar,” Memphis murmured snapping me back to reality.
“W… what?” I asked, shocked.
“Oh, my God, Sweetness are you Morningstar?” he asked.
“How do you know that name?” I asked, tensing in his arms.
“We may be on the other side of the planet, but even we got news of the devastation Morningstar caused,” he said with awe in his voice. “But it was always implied that Morningstar was a man.”
I couldn’t handle the admiration in his voice. Morningstar is a killer, a murderer, not someone that should be with Memphis. I started to pull away, but he grabbed hold of me, pulling me back against his chest. I felt dirty, once again my past was sullying my present, my future. I didn’t want the filth of my past anywhere near Memphis.
“Memphis please let me go,” I fought some more, feeling tears streak down my cheeks.
“No,” he said with force in his voice.
“Please,” I begged.
“No, Baby Girl, no I am not letting you go. Ever. You’re mine, now forever and always.” There was so much determination in his voice that I lost the hold on my tears.
“Shit, this is entirely your fault,” I accuse through wet sobs.
“What is?” he asked, with shocked laughter.
“The crying,” I sobbed. “I had never cried this much before you,” I buried my face into Memphis chest. “Not even when my parents died, not even after the shit with Uncle Charlie.”
“It’s because you feel comfortable and safe with me,” he said into my hair then kissed me. “You can trust me Baby Girl, with every single part of you. I want it all, all of you. Your good, your bad and your horrible.”
“Memphis, what is wrong with you?” I shifted on his lap looking at him, my eyes searching his face. “Seriously, Baby what’s the matter with you? I’ve told you about my past. All the God-awful things that I have done. That I used to beat the shit out of people, I’ve killed people, and you’re okay with all of this? How?”
“Because I just happen to be the most amazing boyfriend in existence,” he kissed me on the nose, laughing.
“Yes, you are, but Memphis, Baby, please. How can you just be so accepting? You do understand
that I hurt people. That I killed people and not in the ‘that person is so annoying I want to punch them’ or ‘you do that again, and I’m going to kill you’ kind of way. It’s not just words Memphis. I have lost count of the amount, of people that I hurt. The number of people that I put in the ground!”
I honestly don’t think that he grasped the extent of the reality of the situation. I don’t believe he understood that I used my body to inflict pain on others. The injuries and deaths that occurred at my hands served as a warning to others that you do not disrespect, betray or insult ‘The Boss’.
“Hedge, Honey, I love you for you. Baggage and all. I understand what you are saying. But it’s just that it’s a little hard to reconcile this badass ninja assassin that her psychopathic mob boss of an uncle created by manipulating and using her. With the beautiful, loving,” he took my face in his large secure strong hands, “compassionate, caring, and sexy as fuck woman sitting before me.” He kissed me gently.
“Baby, I seriously think that we need to get you to a hospital to have a CT or an MRI because I think that you may have a concussion or some minor brain damage.”
Memphis laughed, the sound rumbling up his chest turning me on, this is not a ‘sexy time’ conversation.
This is a ‘don’t touch me, stay the hell away from me, I don’t ever want to see you again’ conversation.
“I may have bumped my head, but it’s true. I didn’t know you then. You said before that you were reborn, from the ashes of that person you were.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his thumb brushing against the pulse point on my neck making me shiver, “My little Phoenix.”
“Memphis, it’s not like I’ve just told you that I used to be a smoker. It is not some innocent indiscretion. I just don’t want you to wake up tomorrow, in a week, a month, a year from now and have you look at me with hate and disgust in your eyes. That would destroy me.” I took a deep breath, hoping that I was not about to fire the bullet that would blow my life apart. “If after what I have said, if you feel even a small tiny fraction of that, if your feelings for me have changed in any way, then please walk away now.”
“Hedge,” Memphis said his tone was turning intense. “You make me want to be a better person, because of you I can see a future outside of just making money to pay off fucking debts. Because of you, I want things I didn’t want before. I want a life, adventures, and a family. Hedge you are the love of my life, the breath in my lungs, the reason my heart beats,” he chuckled adding, “quite literally.”
I rolled my eyes at his attempt at a joke, causing a tear to slide down my cheek.
“I love you with all that I am, forever, so stop trying to get rid of me.”
Chapter 11 Memphis
I don’t know what she wanted me to say, what she expected me to do. Did she suspect that I would yell at her and fire her, tell her to get out? That I never wanted to see her again?
I loved my girl, but she was crazy.
Yes, I understood what she said. Yes, I comprehended what she told me. It was too fantastical for it not to be real. I believed her, I did, but I just couldn’t see my sweet, loving, funny goddess as some evil killing ninja. It just didn’t gel, and I wasn’t going to let her past affect how I felt about her, no matter how insane it was. I mean of all the things that she could have said, “Memphis I used to kill people” would not have been at the top of the list.
What I did know was that I loved her. Insanely deeply, romance novel level loved her. The past year with her in my life has been so fantastic, and that’s what I chose to hang on to.
I was truthful when I told her that her past didn't matter. We all have shit in our past that we regret that we wish we could forget. We all have baggage, and yes, Hedge’s baggage is heftier than most.
Well okay let’s face it she had more baggage than Heathrow Airport, but the difference is that she doesn’t carry it around with her. She’s not letting it weigh her down. She’s learnt to put it aside and move on with her life.
She could have chosen to let all the crappy things that have happened to her, pile on top of her and consume her. No one would begrudge her if she had chosen that path, but Hedge decided to be brave. She decided to be brave and to heal. To grow and not let her past define her.
She chose life over death, light over dark. She focused on what brought her joy and became a highly skilled hairdresser and a phenomenal businesswoman. All you had to do was listen when she talked to clients about colour, cuts, and styles or when she explained her plans and ideas for the shop. She has a brilliant mind to go along with her other stellar assets.
When the guys heard about the plans for the shop, they all wanted in on the design. The shop was buzzing with the energy and excitement that had been lacking for a while. Every one of them wanted to add their input and offered to help. We had a Barber Shop Ink family meeting and talked, argued and planned for hours. Until we agreed as a family what would work for us. My name might be the one on the owner’s certificate, but Baber Shop Ink was a team, a family and we all had an equal say.
The construction was put off for six weeks at my instance, to give me time to heal. It was the one, and only time I pulled the owner card. It was my shop, and I wanted to help with the construction, painting and whatever else I could.
Hedge tried to convince me to let them get it all done so that I could go back to work and not have to worry, but I put my foot down on this one. Normally I would let her bat her eyes or give me a pouty smile, and I would bend to her will, but not with this.
Barber Shop Ink is mine, and there is no way that I would sit back, and watch others work on it while I ‘supervised’. The delay also gave us a chance to block out a week to close the shop and make sure that our clients were taken care of. It also gave me something else to focus on that wasn’t pain or bruises or money.
I hated being laid up in bed and feeling helpless. As soon as I was permitted – AKA Hedge stopped clucking around me like a mother hen, a sexy mother hen, mind you – I got moving again.
Hedge had offered to teach Cassidy self-defense, and on most afternoons the backyard looked more like an outdoor boot camp than the place where we had barbeques and relaxed. With all the equipment, there was more than enough to keep me occupied and start rebuilding my strength.
When Hedge trained Cassidy, Jax helped whip my ass back into shape.
Following the first few sessions of working out, my muscles were screaming, but it was a good ‘sore’. It was muscle sore without the pain. Weirdly, I relished the aching fatigue in my limbs and abdomen. The pain meant I was alive, healing and getting stronger.
Today I woke up feeling super energized and decided to go for a run before getting stuck into painting at the shop. I left my goddess asleep in our bed tangled in our sheets.
I took off down the river path with a goofy smile on my face. Yes, Hedge had bossed me into moving in with her. Moving my stuff into the apartment when I was beaten and broken. Leaving me with little choice but to accept it. But, after waking up with Hedge in my arms, having her use my chest as a pillow her sweet stormy perfume warming my soul, I knew I was a goner. There was no way I was going to argue.
Just like everything with Hedge, living with her was easy. It just felt right like we had been living together for years. There was no yours and mine, awkwardness. It was just ours. Our apartment, our home, our life, I loved every single moment of it.
Lapping back around to home, I stripped off my tank that had the Punisher skull on the front tucking into the back of my shorts.
It was only eight in the morning but already the day was warming up, the early morning sun heating my skin.
It felt good getting all hot and sweaty through doing something physical and challenging and not just from getting up off the couch.
I walked into the shop kitchen to grab a bottle of water and found my Baby Girl bent over, resting on her elbows on the kitchen bench playing with her phone. She wasn’t doing anything just tapping on the screen of h
er cell, but she was still the most magnificent sight I have ever seen.
I grabbed a bottle of water and stood against the fridge to study her. She was all ready to get started on the painting that needed finishing in the shop.
Dressed in a red racerback tank top with her black bra straps showing. Dark denim shorts that would have been decent length on a woman of average height but, on Hedge, with her super long legs they became shorty-shorts. Red chucks and her hair up in a messy bun rounded out her outfit.
Lazily she looked over her shoulder at me but didn’t move from where she was positioned with her perky ass up in the air. Raising an eyebrow at me then turning back to her phone.
Okay, Sweetness you want to pretend like you didn’t just flare your nostrils. Your pupils didn’t just dilate at seeing me shirtless, sweat glistening on my body.
I noticed the way your eyes followed the water bottle to my lips. How your hungry eyes followed the trail of water that spilt from my lips dripping down my chin, across my tattooed chest and into the waistband of my shorts that hang low on my hips. You, want to pretend that you’re not just as turned on as I am?
Oh, Baby Girl two can play this game. I kept my eyes on her as I walked up behind her standing closer than was necessary. Placing the bottle of water with the lid off on the counter in front of her.
“You need something Baby?” She asked sounding bored not looking up from her phone.
“I’m good thanks, Sweetness. Just getting a glass,” I replied.
Stepping into her so that she could feel exactly, what I wanted. Who the fuck drank bottled water from a glass? The glasses weren’t even in this cupboard. I pushed my growing erection against her upturned ass. Still she didn’t move, but I caught the small gasp she thought she could hide.
“You sure you don’t need any help?” she asked casually widening her stance so that I was now standing between her long shapely legs.
“No, but thank you though,” I said in an equally uninterested tone. I smirked grinding against Hedge enjoying our little game. “I just can’t find the glass I’m looking for.”