by Rachel Burns
“I’m sorry you lost so much,” I told him.
“You lost your parents and your family. You don’t need to pity me, child.”
“My name is Sophia.”
He stopped walking and turned so he was facing me. I stopped too and looked at him. “Hello, Sophia. I’m Roger.” He held his hand out to me.
I took his hand and shook it. “I’m guessing that my Daddy is your son?”
“Yes, that’s right.” We walked back to my house. When Alex spotted me, he ran ahead, screaming that I was back.
Roger walked with me into the house. He slowed his pace when I slowed mine. He stayed by my side. I was afraid what Daddy would do to me. I was right to worry. Daddy’s hands went to his belt when I entered his office with Grandpa. “Do you have any idea how worried I was?” He accused me.
“I found her on an expedition to the mountains,” Grandpa announced as if that were the best thing imaginable.
“What?” Daddy barked at him.
“She went exploring, scouting out the area. Isn’t that an important part of training too?” Grandpa asked him.
“Father, you have twelve other grandchildren that you could spend time with. I want to spend time alone with this one.”
I looked at Grandpa Roger and shrugged my shoulders. He had given it his best, but it hadn’t worked.
Grandpa smiled at me before he left. I saw pity in his eyes.
“What went through your mind? Tell me Sophia, I want to know.” Daddy’s face was red with anger.
“I wanted a break. I’ve been training and studying every day since I’ve been here. Even soldiers get breaks.” My lower lip began to quiver. I knew that he was going to punish me to the hilt. It didn’t matter what I said now.
“So you decided to go explore all day and night. Every last person on this planet was searching for you.” Daddy informed me.
“I didn’t think that anyone would notice that I was gone,” I told him honestly.
Daddy opened his mouth to say something, but he was too mad to speak. He took a deep breath. “We noticed, immediately. Never try a stunt like that again.”
“I’m surprised that anyone noticed. No one ever does otherwise,” I stated.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that us children don’t matter. The only thing that matters is that the war doesn’t even exist.”
“I wish you were right, but the war will come and when it does, I want my children to survive it. It would be cruel for me to have the knowledge that I do and not prepare you and your brothers and sisters.”
“What information? Fear isn’t information,” I told him.
“Sophia, remember who you are, and where you came from,” Daddy barked at me. “We both know that no one else would have taken in a sickly child. I was your only chance to survive, and I demand respect. If for no other reason, then for thankfulness. Lower your pants and panties.”
I did as I was told because his words had hurt me, cutting me to the bone and leaving me speechless. I hated that I didn’t know who my parents were, and that they hadn’t loved me as I longed to be loved. Rubbing my nose in that was cruel, but Daddy was prepared to do anything for his cause.
I stood in front of him half naked and wished that he would get started so this could get finished. I needed a moment alone.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” he asked me.
“I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to be out all night.” I wasn’t sure if that were the truth or not.
“I’ll bet it was cold on the side of the mountain. I’ll have to warm you up. Place your hands on your knees.” He was too mad to feel an ounce of pity for me.
I took a deep breath and dropped my upper body down so my weight landed slightly above my knees. “Head down,” Daddy snapped at me.
I dropped my head, and my braid fell forward so it was along my cheek.
I heard the belt crack across my backside, and I gulped for air. It hurt so much that my entire body was shaking. I wouldn’t be able to hold this position for very long, but I figured Daddy didn’t want me to. If I stumbled, he would get out his cane. I had never gotten punish with the cane before, but it would be unavoidable today.
No it wouldn’t, I told myself. Daddy wanted tiny soldiers. I would show him. I wasn’t going to get out of position no matter what. I would fight and win for once.
The belt snapped at me again. I shifted my weight and told myself that this was exactly like when we were training, and my muscles began to shake. I always thought that I would fail when that happened, but Kyle once told me that it was my body fighting and winning. I needed to welcome the pain because it was my body getting stronger.
The belt landed again, and I thought about the woman who talked to the Aliens. She had been so brave going to the Aliens to talk to them. I could be brave too. The belt landed again. I gasped, but held my position.
I was panting to catch my breath because the belt knocked it out of me. It got me again, and I felt tears spill from my eyes, but I kept my mouth shut and breathed through my nose. I could do this.
The belt got me low, directly above my knees and curled around and got my hand too. I yelped out surprised by the pain to my hand, but I remained steadfast.
This game went on for what felt like forever. When Daddy said twenty, I would have figured that he had gotten me a hundred times.
“Now for the cane.”
“But I held position?” I asked shocked that it had been for nothing.
“Wouldn’t you agree that your hard ass deserves the cane? You get six. I’d advise you to use the same self-discipline that you’ve shown up until now. It has been the only thing that has impressed me about you lately.”
My entire body began to shake with fear. I’d seen what my siblings looked like after a caning. The dark red lines across their backside had looked so vicious. Daddy didn’t always punish a child alone in his office. If he had found me, I would have been punished on the spot. If someone had been around, then they would have seen my punishment. Daddy didn’t worry about shaming any one of us. If we didn’t want to be punished in front of others, then we shouldn’t misbehave.
I heard the cane cutting through the air, and then it landed across the back of my thighs. I stumbled forward, telling myself that I could handle five more of those as I stepped right back into position, determined to do right and show him.
Then it landed again, hitting the same spot. I couldn’t hold my tears back. My body rocked with tears, but I stayed where I was.
That must have made Daddy mad because he got me in practically the same spot again. I roared out a scream, and my arms shook under the exertion of not moving and pressing them into the front of my thighs.
The fourth one landed, and I dreamed of running away again. I wanted to be back at the orphanage, high up in the tree safe from Aliens and safe from fathers who thought that children should be soldiers.
The fifth landed, making me scream out again. I only had one more to go. I wasn’t sure if this would be the last of my punishment, but it was a major accomplishment in my mind.
The last one got me low on my thighs where I hadn’t been hit before. “Get dressed. It’s time for school. You will make up the time you missed from training. You won’t go to sleep until you are caught up. But that shouldn’t be a problem, you got a good night’s rest last night. Go to the classroom, and heaven help you if I hear a complaint from your teacher.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I dressed and quickly left his office. The others had already found their way back home, and they were in the classroom. I went in. Everyone turned to look at me. I went to my seat, walking through a silence that was so thick that you could have cut it with a knife. I stared down at my seat, knowing that I couldn’t sit down, but I didn’t have a choice.
I cringed and sat down. The skin on my rump stretched and ached. I gasped and buried my head down on my crossed arms. I was no longer sitting but hovering over my seat. I doubted that I
would be able to hold this position for long.
The teacher called us to attention. He would never say anything against Daddy’s discipline. I wanted to cry, but I knew that now wasn’t the time. Slowly, I lowered my rump down, taking the pain and biting my lip not to yelp out. I managed to make it through the morning without crying although I was screaming inside.
I didn’t have lunch. Instead, I went outside and did my training. I worked until it was dark, and the others were in bed. I had put in the time as I had been instructed, but I stared out over the fields and orchards, wanting to leave again. I debated with myself.
“Don’t do it.” Grandpa appeared at my side. “My son isn’t used to stubborn children. People rarely get along with others who are like themselves.”
“I’m not like him.” How could he think that I was like Daddy?
“Yes, you are. That was probably what drew him to you. He told me about you today. He thinks that you will achieve great things.”
“He plans to train me, and then to marry me off so I can have several children that he will want to train too. I doubt that I will have time to do great things.”
“It’s harder for women. It always has been. But the chance is there. There is always a chance to do great things. You have potential, as my son likes to put it.”
“Me? Potential for what?” I asked him.
“Time will tell. Come inside. It’s time for you to rest. He plans on being extra strict with you tomorrow.”
“Why?” I sighed.
“To teach you a lesson,” Grandpa replied.
“What lesson?” The only thing that I could think of was that I was weaker than Daddy, and thus I had to obey him.
“Not to scare your father.” Grandpa walked me in and quietly brought me up to bed. The house was so quiet that it was eerie. “Sleep, little one. You only have one more day to get through, and then it will be over with.”
Grandpa was right. Daddy woke me early the next morning and had me study and train all day. I didn’t complain, and then the next day it was forgotten that I had run away. I insisted that I had only gone exploring, but I was too old for that. Daddy knew better.
Chapter 10
Daddy decided to go buy supplies on another planet. He would pick four children to go with him. He would pick those who did the best on a pilot test he planned to give us. That meant that he would take us up and let us fly the plane.
I had never lifted off by myself. I practiced it in my mind when I was alone. Most people balked at the idea of a woman pilot, but Daddy felt that it was knowledge that every one of his children should have. He was even teaching Maggie to fly. Maggie was my sister-in-law. She had married Cole. They lived with us now.
She was having trouble adjusting to her life with our strange family. Daddy wanted her to train and study, but she liked watching TV. They argued when he caught her being lazy. When Maggie argued with Daddy, Cole spanked her. They weren’t as happily married as Lyanna was with Jack.
When Cole and Maggie were alone with each other, they were happier.
Lyanna had given birth to her baby. The baby was a girl. She was adorable. Jack was home more often now. He talked of taking Lyanna to a house where they would live together alone. Daddy dismissed that idea, saying that Jack was gone too often, and that Lyanna and their baby would be better off here. Jack told Daddy that they would leave anyway.
Daddy didn’t know it, but Jack got a position being the boss of a smaller planets air station. They would go there together with their baby. I heard them talking in the hall. They hadn’t seen me, and I had kept their secret.
Daddy stepped into the schoolroom. All eyes turned to him to see why he was interrupting us. “Sophia, Charlotte and Jenny, it’s time for your test. Let’s go.” Jenny and I sprang to our feet, while Charlotte dragged hers. We still hadn’t found out what she was good at. Daddy had to spank her often for wanting to be a quitter.
We followed Daddy out to the air pad. He told me to go first. He had me sit in his chair as if I was the pilot, and he was the co-pilot. “Talk me through it, Sophia,” Daddy told me.
I spoke while I switched levers and turned gages, saying exactly what was in the manual that Daddy had given me. He was grinning from ear to ear because I was reciting it verbatim.
The airship lifted up smoothly. I accelerated over the trees and circled our planet without going into space.
“Take it higher,” Daddy instructed me.
I position the craft at an angle and broke through the outer atmosphere of our planet. Immediately, I swirled to the side. I had landed in a meteoroid storm.
“Where did that come from? Take us down, Sophia.” His hands reached forward, wanting to take control, but he hesitated. I spun the airship around and landed on our air pad with a disappointed sigh. “Will I get another chance to try again?” I asked him.
“That won’t be necessary. You get to go with me. Jenny, it’s your turn. I want you to stay low.” While we traded places, Daddy called out a warning, informing others of the meteoroid storm.
I put my seatbelt on and waited for Jenny to start. Her hands shook, but she lifted us up. As soon as we were in the air, Daddy took control and landed the airship. “When were you going to pull the wheels in?”
“I forgot about those.” Her shoulders slumped, and she bit her lip.
“Try again.” Daddy was upset.
It amazed me to see Jenny so nervous. She was usually good at things like this. She wasn’t as good in the classroom, but she studied hard and made Daddy happy with her.
Jenny did it again and glanced at Daddy a lot to see if he was upset. She sighed with relief when she landed. The airship bounced three times as she landed. That was very uncomfortable.
Jenny peeked at Daddy to get her review. “I think you’ll stay home for this trip.”
Jenny nodded and got up. It was Charlotte’s turn.
Charlotte sat down and had problems getting her seatbelt to sit right. She slowly did what you had to to get the engine to start. The airship bounced again, and then we were moving forward and still on the ground. We were heading directly towards the apple orchard and gaining speed. We were about to crash.
Daddy stopped the airship as his nostrils flared.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. Don’t be mad at me. I’ll marry a smart man and give him lots of smart babies. That’s all I’m good for. You have to understand that.” Charlotte bawled into her hands.
“I understand that you aren’t getting better, but that you are getting worse.” Daddy stood and took hold of Charlotte by her upper arm and exited the airship. “Sophia return the ship to the pad. Jenny be her co-pilot.”
After they exited the airship, I lifted it up and returned it to where it belonged. “I don’t think that it’s fair that Daddy is going to punish her for that. She can’t help that this isn’t easy for her.”
“That’s none of your business. No one questions Daddy.” Jenny stood and got out.
I caught up with her. “Are you mad at me?” I asked her.
“You’re lying about your parents, aren’t you? They were so important that Daddy brought you here and is keeping it a secret so we won’t know, right?”
“Wrong. They weren’t important.” I ran ahead and slipped back into the classroom. Jenny entered a moment later and sat down. The teacher was teaching us about the History of War.
So many wars had been fought that a person would think that people had learned their lesson, but they hadn’t. The only thing they had in common was that each side thought that their side was the side that was right. They all believed that their God was on their side. There was no god in war.
We heard a scream, coming from the direction of Daddy’s office. Charlotte screamed several more times before it was silent. I had to ask myself if I wouldn’t have rather stayed at the orphanage.
~
Daddy took Amy, Douglas, Alex and me with him to get his supplies. Douglas was sitting behind the wheel as we lifted up the next mo
rning. He handled the airship beautifully. Daddy warned him that there might still be stray meteoroids out from yesterday’s shower.
Douglas didn’t appear worried about that.
Daddy was in the back of the ship, going over his lists. He called Amy to help him. They quietly discussed things. Amy insisted that we needed more toilet paper than what Daddy had written down. I thought it was funny that a famous man like Daddy had arguments about toilet paper.
“Seriously Daddy, it can’t go bad. It’s better to error on the side of having too much.” Amy crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair.
“You’re right.” Daddy smiled at her, giving me the feeling that he was traveling with his four favorite children.
Douglas did indeed have to maneuver around several meteoroids, but then the path was clear. We were heading to Daddy’s old air station. It was the biggest in the universe. Alex got to land the airship, and I wondered if I would get a turn. I wanted to fly in space. It was fun to be a natural at something. I felt that I was better than my brothers, but I needed a chance to prove that.
Daddy never talked to me about me becoming an airship captain, only to the boys. He wanted Kyle to become one, and he practiced with him often. Sometimes he took me along. I was much better than Kyle.
We landed and got into a large truck that Daddy kept on his air pad here, Douglas drove while Daddy and Amy went through their piles of papers again. She was telling him which warehouses she wanted to go to. “I almost forgot. Kyle needs new shoes. His got ruined when he fell into the pond.”
“But he caught the ball,” all four of us children said in unison. Kyle had told the pond story to everyone at least six times.
“He does so well with sports. His father never did,” Daddy mused.
“A recessive gene, perhaps,” Amy answered. “I think a professional athlete would be a better goal for him. People will love him and listen to him when it’s time to go to war. Influence is important. It would also be a good way to keep your name on people’s minds.” Amy always thought about the best way to reach a goal. She was convinced that Daddy’s cause was just and right. I still wasn’t.