Meg stared at Dillon in surprise, then shook her head slowly. “You two don’t know a damn thing about Jenna, do you?” Dillon frowned. That was the second time he’d heard that in the space of just a couple of hours.
“She wants these babies more than I’ve ever seen anyone want anything in my life,” Meg said. “She told Doc that she’d do absolutely anything she had to do, she didn’t care what it was, if he’d help her have these babies and believe me when I tell you she’s been doing just that.”
Cole and Dillon drew in deep, shuddering breaths. “Thank God,” Cole said. Meg smiled. They wanted the babies. That was something, anyway.
“We really appreciate you telling us all this,” Cole said. “We do wish we’d known sooner, of course. It’s hard to know she was working so hard all this time and dealing with everything on her own when we could have made things so easy for her. That’s almost as hard as knowing someone wants to hurt her.”
“She doesn’t want you to make things easy for her,” Meg said sharply. “She just wants to get through this pregnancy and have healthy babies.” Silence fell and for a long moment the only sounds were the muffled voices of people walking up the corridor outside the door.
“We treated her like crap,” Dillon said suddenly. “We know it. We made a mistake, a big one. Then the thing with Lyssa happened and honestly, I don’t think we had much choice but to do what we did after that. But we love Jenna. We’ve loved her from the first moment we saw her on her first day here, over at Flo’s.”
“And we’ll never deserve her,” Cole said. “That’s a hard fact to swallow, but there it is.”
“Cole,” Meg said, her voice kind this time, but he shook his head.
“No Meg,” he said. “We were so busy wallowing in self-pity that we never stopped to realize how badly we hurt her. Oh, we knew we’d messed up, knew we’d made her angry and probably hurt her feelings with some of the things we said, but we had no idea how deeply we hurt her. We still don’t know why it hurt her so much, but that’s beside the point.”
“This isn’t my business, but I’m gonna ask anyway,” Meg said. “What did you say to make her think you hate her?”
Cole and Dillon exchanged glances, then Dillon sighed. “She started crying in her sleep,” he said. “That woke us up. Just when we were about to wake her she said Jacob, come back, I love you.” Dillon frowned when Hank, Jack, and Meg suddenly looked unbearably sad.
“What did you say to her?” Hank asked, his voice rougher than before.
“We waited till morning, then we told her it was unacceptable to fuck around if she already had a lover,” Cole replied. “We were angry and hurt that she loved another man and hadn’t told us about it, so we said a lot of really mean things that we never should’ve said, and for damn sure had no right to say.”
“Whoever Jacob is, or was, he’s clearly not here,” Dillon said. “We went too far.”
“Further than you know,” Meg said softly while Jack and Hank nodded in agreement.
“What do you mean?” Dillon asked even though he was no longer sure he wanted to know.
“Four years ago, on the day Jenna found out her baby was a boy, she named him.”
The color drained from Cole’s face. “Jacob,” he said hoarsely.
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” Meg said, her eyes filled with sympathy.
“My God,” Dillon said thickly. “What have we done?” Cole reached over to squeeze Dillon’s shoulder, agony on both of their faces.
“It was a mistake, Dillon,” Cole said. “A big one, yes, but it wasn’t deliberate.”
“That’s true,” Hank said. “But staying away from her all this time was deliberate.”
“We thought we were doing what was best for her by staying away,” Cole said. “We thought she was better off without us, that she’d just gone on with her life and written us off. But we’re here now, and those are our babies she’s carrying, and she asked us to keep her safe, so we’ll be taking care of all three of them from now on.”
“I know she asked you to keep her safe,” Jack said coolly. “I even told her she could trust you to do that much. But keeping her safe isn’t what you’re talking about. You’re thinking you’re here now, and you’ve changed your minds about wanting her now she’s pregnant, so she’ll just fall to her knees in thanks that you’re gonna take her back. Is that about it?”
“No,” Dillon said. “We’ve always wanted her, Jack. We’ll do our best to convince her to forgive us and we hope like hell she’ll give us another chance. If she refuses we’ll have to accept that, but we can’t not try.”
“Believe it or not, this isn’t about the two of you,” Jack growled.
“What does that mean?” Cole asked, confused by Jack’s anger.
“What you did, and why you did it are things Jenna deserves to know,” Hank said. “But if you think that’s gonna make things all better for her, you best think again.”
“Meaning?” Dillon asked.
“Ah hell,” Hank said. He opened the folder on Doc’s desk, knowing what he’d find, but wincing at the sight anyway. He flipped it closed, picked it up and held it out toward Cole. “I didn’t wanna do this, but the two of you need to see with your own eyes what she went through. You need to know how much she suffered, and how much she lost. You need to understand how difficult it’s gonna be for her to trust the men who sweet talked her into bed, fucked her, turned on her without even giving her a chance to explain, then walked away without another thought, leaving her alone, brokenhearted, and pregnant. She thinks you hate her and to Jenna that means you may very well try to kill her and her babies. That’s why she didn’t tell you she was pregnant.
“The only reason she changed her mind is that someone is trying to kill her, and she trusts me, Jack, Meg, and Luke enough to believe us when we said it wasn’t the two of you, and that you’d be able to keep her safe. That doesn’t mean she’s ready to forgive and forget what you’ve done to her.
“On top of all that you should also know that, even if she wants to forgive you, she no longer trusts herself enough to believe in her own feelings or judgement. That’s why she’s relying on our opinions of you rather than her own. You got yourselves to thank for that one.”
Cole and Dillon stared at Hank in growing horror as he spoke, his blunt words striking home, giving them an understanding of Jenna that hadn’t quite sunk in despite all that they’d just been told. After a moment Cole got up to take the folder from Hank. He sat back down, took a breath, and opened it.
His stomach tightened as the first image hit him like a punch in the gut. He turned it over with hands that shook so badly he had a hard time holding on to it. The second image was even worse than the first. Nausea rose, fast and hard, but he forced himself to look at the next image, and the next, his eyes burning with hot tears as he saw, in excruciating detail, how miraculous it was that Jenna lived at all. The last image was a painful reminder of the moment he’d traced one of Jenna’s scars and felt fear at how close it was to her heart. The reality, in full graphic color, was much worse than his imagination had been capable of.
Dillon was panting harshly, not even noticing the tears that streamed down his face as Cole turned over each one of the eight by ten images of the woman they loved lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood. She was nearly unrecognizable except for her long, beautiful hair which was as blood soaked as the rest of her. Like Cole, he forced himself to look at each and every one even though he knew they’d haunt him for the rest of his life.
Chapter 10
Jenna opened her eyes, blinking as she tried to bring her surroundings into focus. It took only a moment to realize she was in the hospital. Hard on the heels of that realization came fear. Her hands went automatically to her stomach as she struggled to sit up, ignoring the breathtaking pain that slammed into her with the effort. A big hand pressed gently against her shoulder, forcing her to lie back.
“Easy, Jenna. There’s no need to be sca
red. Just relax.”
Jenna froze, recognizing the voice before she raised her eyes to see Dillon standing beside her bed. Sensing another presence on the other side she turned her head slowly to see Cole looking down on her. Her heart began racing so fast it hurt.
“What’s going on?” she gasped, her eyes going to the door, the window, the empty bed on the other side of the room, then back to the door again, her panicked mind searching for escape. “Why are you here?”
“Because you’re here,” Cole replied. “We promised to stay with you, baby. Remember? Meg’s here too. She and Jack just went down to the cafeteria but they’ll be back soon.” Jenna didn’t register anything he said as she continued searching for escape, her pupils dilated with fear.
“Relax Jenna, you’re safe,” Dillon said, keeping his voice as calm and soothing as he could.
She shook her head, clearly not believing him. She gave up the idea of escape since there clearly wasn’t one. She switched to looking back and forth from Cole to Dillon, trying to keep her eyes on both of them at the same time. “Jenna, please try to calm down honey,” Cole said. “It’s not good for you to get this worked up.”
Their words didn’t penetrate the panic blossoming in her mind as they continued to stare down at her, both of them so big and strong and powerful. She glanced at their hands and knew that all it would take was one blow, just one, and that would be the end of her babies, the only good and precious things in her life. Her hands clutched at her stomach protectively, ignoring the pain in her left arm as the very uselessness of the gesture tipped her over the edge.
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” she gasped breathlessly, the words themselves triggering the fear that had been building deep inside of her since the moment she’d learned she was pregnant, releasing it like a flood. “I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, and I won’t bother you, not ever. I’ll never ask for money or help or anything.” The words spilled from her so fast she didn’t stop to edit what she was saying. “I’ll move away. Far away. I’ll even leave the country if you want. Please, please don’t hurt my babies, please.” Tears streamed down her face unnoticed as she continued to beg between the broken sobs that shook her entire body.
“Oh God, angel, you’re breaking our hearts,” Dillon said, bending over the bed to rest his chin above her head, one palm resting lightly against the side of her head in the closest he dared get to hugging her. He wanted more than anything in the world to pick her up and hold her in his arms, but he was afraid to because of her injuries. Cole leaned over the other side and wiped her tears with gentle fingers.
“Please stop crying, Jenna,” he said, ignoring his own tears. “You’re gonna make yourself sick. I swear to God we’d never hurt you. We’d rather die first.”
At first she didn’t respond to them, but they kept talking to her, repeating themselves over and over again while gently stroking her hair, her good arm and shoulder, whatever they could touch that they knew wouldn’t hurt her. Eventually their words began to sink in and her sobs quieted.
“We’d never hurt you, Jenna,” Dillon said when she finally looked at him as though she was actually seeing him. “We promised, remember? We sure as hell wouldn’t hurt our own children.”
“You wouldn’t?” she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper from crying so much.
“No, we wouldn’t,” Cole said. She looked at him, surprised to see tears on his face. She shifted her gaze back to Dillon and this time she noticed the tears on his face, too. “We love you, Jenna.”
Jenna struggled to absorb that, but it made no sense. They didn’t love her. She didn’t know much else at the moment, but she knew that. So why had he said it? She tried to raise her left arm, wincing at the pain this time, then raised the right to rub her temple in a futile attempt to ease the pounding in her head. She took a deep shuddering breath as she tried to calm her mind and think. “Why am I in the hospital?”
Dillon looked away from her. She shifted her gaze to Cole, who looked as though he wanted to hurt someone. She shrank back, leaning toward Dillon without thinking about it. When Cole frowned at her she flinched.
“Aw baby, don’t be afraid of me,” he said. “I swear neither one of us would ever hurt you.”
Jenna saw the pain in his eyes, which confused her further. Suddenly cold fear washed through her. She ran her right hand over her stomach. It felt the same, but how could she be sure. “My babies?” she asked in a whisper, giving up trying to speak louder.
“They’re fine,” Cole said immediately, seeing her fear and trying to ease it. “They’re right where they’re supposed to be and that’s where they’re gonna stay. Dillon and I are gonna see to it, honey. We promised. Remember?”
She frowned, shaking her head in confusion. “No I don’t remember. What happened? Why am I here? And why do I hurt?”
“There was a bomb in your Bronco,” Dillon said. “You weren’t in it when it went off, thank God, but it flung you against the building pretty hard. You asked for me and Cole to come and we promised to keep you safe.”
“Oh my God,” Jenna whispered as the memories slowly filtered into her mind. “I remember now.”
“Why didn’t you tell us you were pregnant?” Cole asked. She glanced at him warily before she could stop herself, then dropped her eyes just as quickly.
“Never mind,” he said. “I guess we know the answer to that.”
“You do?” Jenna asked, her heart starting to race again.
“Yeah, we do,” Dillon replied. “Luke gave us the envelope with the document and flash drive you prepared, but we didn’t have a computer with us so we couldn’t look at what was on it. It took some doing, but we got Hank to tell us what was going on. He made it real clear he was telling us for your sake, not ours, so don’t be mad at him.”
“No, I’m not mad at him,” she said, trying to get her bearings with this new information.
“Good morning, Jenna,” Doc said, entering the room. He stopped at the foot of her bed and picked up the chart hanging there. “I just saw Meg down in the cafeteria. Jack’s making her eat since she’s been here all night. She’ll be up to see you when she’s finished but if you need anything, she’s got her cell and wants you to call her.”
“Thanks, Doc,” she whispered hoarsely. Doc frowned, eyed her tear streaked face and swollen eyes, then walked over to the bedside table and poured her a glass of water. He handed her the glass and the box of tissues from the night stand. She took a long drink, the cool liquid soothing her throat immediately. “Thank you, Doc.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, back at the foot of the bed and looking at her chart as though he hadn’t just given the Howards a glare guaranteed to make them feel about an inch high.
“How bad is it, Doc?” she asked, her voice raw, but better. “Are the babies all right?”
“Yes, they’re just fine,” Doc assured her. “You, on the other hand, are not fine. I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a lot more careful from here on out.”
Jenna nodded. “Okay Doc. When can I go home?”
“Well now, that depends on a lot of factors,” Doc said. He glanced at Cole, then Dillon, then back to Jenna. “Do you want them in here while we discuss your health, and the health of your babies?”
Jenna tensed, but she remembered her decision, and the document she’d asked Jack to draw up for her. “Yes, that’s fine, Doc.” Cole’s eyes closed in relief and he raised her hand to kiss it which made her uncomfortable. She tugged it away from him and placed it back over her stomach.
“All right you three, here’s the scoop. First of all, Jenna, your physical condition has been deteriorating rapidly over the past few weeks, as we’ve discussed. After what happened yesterday I’m afraid I have no choice but to put you on bed rest beginning immediately. Hopefully by the time your scrapes and bruises heal you’ll have put on some weight and regained some of your strength. If so, we can talk about you moving around a little bit, and by that I mean a few steps here and
there. For now, it’s full bed rest for you and those babies.” Jenna swallowed hard as she struggled to hold back a new wave of panic.
“You can get up to go to the bathroom as long as you walk very slowly. That’s it. I don’t even want you taking a shower unless you can sit down while you do it. No walking, no lifting, no standing, no working, no falling, and no more getting upset or stressed.” He looked sternly at Cole and Dillon as he said that last part.
Jenna bit her lip worriedly. The way Doc was talking to the Howards as though it was a given that they’d be taking care of her bothered her a great deal. She’d been hoping they’d keep her safe. But that didn’t mean what they seemed to think it meant.
Doc watched her for a moment. “Jenna,” he said, his entire demeanor gentling. “Even if you gain weight and get stronger, you can’t go back to working. Your body simply can’t tolerate it any longer. It’s past time for you to accept some help.”
“I understand, Doc,” she whispered.
Doc nodded, then glared at Cole and Dillon. “I’m going to make myself perfectly clear. Jenna is very weak and in poor physical condition overall. She’s worn herself right down to a nub these past few months, and after yesterday’s incident the risk of her losing her babies and her own life just skyrocketed, and I’m not exaggerating. I never exaggerate. She needs constant rest, she needs to put on some weight, she needs to be taken care of and by that I mean waited on hand and foot. She also needs to be in a stress free and calm environment. Her life literally depends on these things, gentlemen. So if you’re gonna fight with her, or argue with her, or abandon her again if things don’t go your way, then you need to get the hell out of here right now and stay gone.”
“Don’t worry, Doc, we understand you perfectly,” Dillon promised. “In the next little while we’re gonna explain everything while she’s still here in case she gets upset. If she wants us to leave after that, then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll hire however many people you think she needs to take care of her twenty four-seven, and that’s a promise.”
Jenna's Cowboys Page 19