“I’m so sorry we did this to you, Jenna,” Dillon said thickly. “So sorry we hurt you so badly, that we stayed away so long and made you think we hated you, that we weren’t there when you needed us. I swear we’re going to do all we can to earn your trust again.”
Jenna wasn’t sure how to respond, and it was too much effort to try to figure it out. Her outburst had drained her physically and emotionally, even though it had felt good to get a few things off her chest. There was just one thing she needed an answer to. “Do you promise that you won’t take my babies away from me?”
“Yes,” they both said at once.
“We’ll even put it in writing if you want,” Dillon added. “If you don’t wanna be with us, it’ll break our hearts, but we won’t stop you from doing whatever you want. We’ll make sure you and our children never want for anything for the remainder of your lives, and we’ll put that in writing too if you want. I swear it.”
“Me too,” Cole said.
Jenna was a little startled to find that she believed them. She rolled that around in her mind for a few moments but somehow, without any of her usual doubts, she knew they meant it. They really weren’t intending to take her children from her. Her entire body relaxed as she sighed softly. “Thank you.”
“Please don’t make us leave you right now,” Cole said. “If you need us in the night for anything, it’s better if we’re right here. What if you have to go to the bathroom?”
“It’s not that far away.”
“The truth is that we can’t fail you again, Jenna,” Dillon said. “If you need us, and we’re not here…,” he trailed off. “Please, don’t send us away. I swear we won’t touch you in a sexual way. We just need to be near you.”
“Fine,” Jenna said, hoping they didn’t ask her why she was agreeing. The truth was that, despite everything, they really did make her feel safe. After all that had happened, she needed to feel safe.
“Thank you,” Dillon said, stroking her good shoulder. “Sleep now. We’ll take care of everything. We promise. Just sleep.”
Jenna released a long, shaky sigh and closed her eyes after Cole turned out the light. She reached down with one hand, placing it lightly over her stomach. She was startled when Dillon’s hand joined hers, pressing gently just before Cole’s hand joined them.
“Twins,” Cole whispered. “Can you believe it?”
“I can’t wait to feel them kicking,” Dillon said, and Jenna smiled in the dark.
“That’ll be something, won’t it?” Cole said.
“Just wait a bit and you’ll feel them,” she whispered. “They like to play soccer just about when I’m ready to go to sleep every night.”
“Really?” Cole asked, sliding his hand lower on her stomach, then around to the side. “I felt it, right there,” he whispered excitedly.
“I’ve never felt anything so amazing in my life,” Dillon said. “Does it hurt?”
“No, not at all. I love it, actually. When I feel them moving inside of me, it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I wish I could find a way to save the feeling so I never forget it.”
“You’re not alone any more, Jenna,” Dillon said gently. “Thank you so much for this.”
Jenna smiled again. Things had gone from horrible to wonderful so quickly it made her a little dizzy, but she knew she’d never forget this moment, of them feeling their babies kicking for the first time. Now that her fear of them taking her babies from her was gone, she just couldn’t help being happy about their excitement. They truly wanted the babies and, as impossible as it seemed, they wanted to share in the joy and wonder of it, too. “Do you wanna know if they’re boys or girls?”
“Yes,” they both replied at the same time. “Do you know?” Dillon asked.
“I do.”
“Tell us baby, please,” Cole wheedled and she had to struggle not to laugh.
“As Doc put it, we’re getting the variety pack,” she whispered. “One of each.”
“A son and a daughter,” Cole said, the awe in his voice bringing tears to Jenna’s eyes, making her doubly glad it was too dark to see.
“I’m excited and terrified at the same time,” Dillon said. “It’s a perfect start though, that’s for sure.”
“Start?”
“We’d like to have lots of babies with you Jenna,” Dillon said. “If you can see your way clear to forgiving us one day, of course. If you do, we’ll take as many children as you let us make or bring home. I know you thought we wouldn’t want you if you couldn’t have children, but you were wrong about that. It doesn’t matter whether you can have babies or not. You’re the woman meant for us, and that’s what matters. There’s more than one way to have a family.”
“Do you really mean that?” she asked, stunned.
“Absolutely,” Cole said. “It’s gotta be with you though, honey. No one else. Without you, there’s no point. We can’t do it without you.”
Jenna wanted to believe that so much that it scared her. They kept on saying things that touched her, things she wanted to hear, things she wanted to be real. But she couldn’t let herself go down that path again. It was just too painful, and it took too much out of her. She needed to save what energy she had for the babies.
“Sleep angel,” Dillon whispered. “We love you, and we’ll take care of everything.”
She wondered again if that was true as she let herself float off to sleep with Dillon and Cole caressing her stomach lightly. When her body relaxed and her breathing fell into an even rhythm, Cole sighed. “You think she’s ever gonna believe us?”
“In time,” Dillon replied. “I think a part of her believes us now or she would never have agreed to come here. But like Hank and Jack warned us, it isn’t going to be that easy.”
“What do you mean?”
“The night we took her out I remember thinking that she must have trusted us because she wasn’t the type of woman to let a man touch her otherwise. Now that we know what she’s been through, I understand just how much she had to have trusted us to let us make love to her that night. And how badly we betrayed that trust the next morning. We’re gonna have to find a way to rebuild that trust, Cole.”
“How are we gonna do that?”
“I don’t know,” Dillon said. “Maybe we just need to love her as hard as we can no matter what. If we’re lucky, she’ll eventually let herself believe us and, hopefully, she’ll grow to trust us again, too.”
“I hope that doesn’t take too long because we have to convince her to marry us.”
“We need to hold off on that, Cole. Doc said no stress and we’ve messed up on that already. She’s cried so many tears today it’s a wonder she hasn’t floated away on us.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Cole agreed. A tiny thump hit the palm of his hand. “A son and a daughter,” he said wonderingly. “We’re gonna have to spend the rest of our lives trying to earn what we’ve already been blessed with.”
“That’s okay,” Dillon said. “It’s worth it.”
Chapter 12
When Jenna opened her eyes the next morning she was instantly tense. The bed moved and she held her breath.
“Jenna?” Cole asked, leaning over until his worried face filled her vision.
“Don’t move,” she whispered. He froze. She swallowed hard, then took a slow careful breath. “I’m gonna be sick.”
Almost before the words were out of her mouth Cole had her in his arms and was heading for the bathroom. She fought to hold the nausea at bay until Cole got her to the bathroom and managed, if barely. Her stomach was empty since she’d eaten no more than half a dozen spoonful’s of soup the night before, but that didn’t seem to matter. She wasn’t sure how much time went by before her stomach muscles relaxed but cold sweat coated her face and she was gasping for air.
“Go away,” she mumbled to Cole the moment she had the strength to talk.
“No way in hell, baby,” he replied as he continued to rub her back.
“How is she?�
� Dillon asked.
“A little better I think,” Cole replied. “Get me a cool cloth would you?”
“Sure.”
Jenna felt her stomach tighten again and moaned as she leaned over the toilet. Luckily the nausea passed this time and she relaxed again. Cole reached around and stroked a cool cloth over her face which felt so good she nearly sighed with pleasure.
“What did Doc say?”
“Morning sickness,” Dillon said.
“I thought that only happened in the first couple of months,” Cole said. Jenna rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything.
“Not always,” Dillon said. “Doc says she’s been suffering with morning sickness off and on all along, and we damn well better not let this happen again ‘cause the strain of the stomach contractions are seriously dangerous for her.”
“How the hell can we stop her from getting sick?”
“Saltines,” Jenna whispered, just as Dillon said the same thing.
“You knew and didn’t tell us?” Cole asked in surprise.
“If I was at home I’d be able to reach the box of saltines on my bedside table,” Jenna said. “But I’m not home, I was a little preoccupied last night and didn’t think of them, and I’ve been too busy throwing up an empty stomach to discuss it this morning.”
“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to bark at you,” Cole said. “You ready to get up now?”
“Yes,” Jenna said. “I need to brush my teeth.”
“All right,” he said, setting the cloth aside and picking her up. He set her on her feet in front of the sink and she reached for her toothbrush and toothpaste. She wanted to ask them to leave but she knew it would be wasted energy.
“Do we have any saltines in the house?” Cole asked Dillon while standing close to Jenna in case she needed support.
“No, I damn near tore the kitchen apart looking for some but the closest I found was a bag of chips. I’ll run into town as soon as she’s settled.”
Jenna perked up a bit at that. She finished brushing her teeth while compiling a mental list of things she wanted from her apartment. After she washed her hands and splashed some water on her face, Cole carried her back to the bedroom but she shook her head when he started to put her in bed.
“I’d like to go into the kitchen please.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, frowning.
“Why not?”
“You just spent half an hour being sick. You should rest now.”
“I don’t want to rest. I want to go to the kitchen.”
“Why do you wanna go in there?”
“Because I’m hungry.”
“No. You need to give your stomach time to settle.”
“Put me down, Cole.”
“Good girl,” he said smiling as he set her on the bed. She reached for the phone on the bedside table. “What are you doing?”
“I’m calling Meg to come get me.”
“Why?”
Jenna looked up to answer but paused when she saw Dillon arching a brow at Cole. “She’s pregnant with babies, Cole, she’s not a baby herself. Besides, no arguing, remember?”
Jenna saw Cole’s face flush red and tensed, but it wasn’t from anger. It was embarrassment. “I’m sorry, baby, I got carried away. I do that when I get worried or scared for someone I care about. If I do it again just smack me upside the head.”
Jenna frowned doubtfully and he sighed. “Just tell me when I get overbearing, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Thanks.” He started to kiss her, stopped himself, then scooped her up and followed Dillon to the kitchen.
“What would you like to eat?” Dillon asked while Cole set her in the chair she’d used the night before.
“Scrambled eggs and toast if you have it.”
“That’s it?” Dillon asked. “How about some bacon, or sausage?”
“No, thank you,” she replied. “Just eggs and toast, please.”
“That’s not very much,” Dillon said and immediately regretted it when she sighed and began rubbing her temple. “I’m sorry, angel.” She glanced up at him, already tired of having to convince them every time she wanted something. “We don’t mean to be so pushy and bossy, Jenna. If you can bear with us for a couple of days we’ll catch on.”
“I’m sorry to be so much trouble.”
“You’re not trouble,” Cole said. “We just have to learn a few things about each other.” Jenna nodded. That made sense. They really hadn’t spent much time together before now, and none at all for nearly half a year.
“Would you like some coffee?” Cole asked.
“I’d love some,” Jenna replied. “But unless you have decaf, I’ll have to pass.”
“Decaf?” Cole asked in surprise. He knew for a fact that Jenna was a caffeine lover.
“Caffeine isn’t good for the babies.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Cole said in surprise. “Did you know that Dillon?”
“No, I didn’t,” he replied, frowning as he cracked some eggs into a bowl. “We’re gonna have to get some books or something, Cole.” He glanced at Jenna. “I’m sorry angel, but we don’t have decaf. I’ll pick some up along with the saltines at Flo’s. Is there anything else you’d like me to get?”
“Actually, I was going to ask if you’d mind stopping at my place for a few things. I have some good decaf so you wouldn’t have to buy any and you could grab my coffeemaker for it. I have a couple of boxes of saltines, too.”
“Of course I don’t mind,” he said. “What else would you like?”
“My laptop, my iPad, the chargers for both, and a few other things.”
“Why do you need your laptop?” Cole asked. “I don’t think you should be working Jenna. The laptop needs to stay where it is.”
Jenna sighed. She looked back and forth between them and realized she was either going to have to be firm about a few things, or make them take her home after all. Since that was dangerous to her babies she decided to give firmness a try. “Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone should be,” she said softly.
“I missed hearing you do that,” Cole said, smiling. “Who said that?”
“A woman named Clementine Paddleford. Writer. My father used to say that one to me a lot.” She cleared her throat. “You know how you said we need to get to know a few things about each other?” Cole nodded. “Well, I agree. And right now there are a few things you need to know about me.”
“Okay,” Cole said. “Shoot.”
“I know I’m in bad shape at the moment, and I know that these babies are more important than anything else. I know I need to be careful, and I know I need help. I’m also very grateful that you want to help me with the things Doc said I need help with.” She paused, then looked Cole in the eye before continuing in her usual soft, calm voice while hiding her trembling hands beneath the table. “But I’m not mentally incapacitated, I’m not five years old, and I don’t need babysitters. I’m a grown woman, I’ve been alone, on my own, and supporting myself since I was seventeen years old, and I don’t need or want someone telling me what I can and can’t do every time I turn around.
“You don’t get to decide whether or not I can have my laptop, Cole Howard, and you certainly don’t get to dictate what I do with it.” She paused, looked at each of them, saw they were surprised but not angry, and continued.
“I know your main concern is for the babies. But you need to understand that, even though my body needs help, my brain is just fine, if a bit marinated in hormones, and it needs to stay busy or I’ll get very stressed, very fast. Aside from an occasional movie, television doesn’t work for me and it never has. Reading usually gets me through a few days of doing nothing, but it only works for so long. I need something to do with my mind. That’s part of who I am, and I can’t change it just because you decide I should, nor do I want to.”
“You’re right about the laptop,” Cole said when he was sure she was finished. “It’s not that I
want to dictate what you do, though. Doc warned us repeatedly that you needed to have a calm environment with no stress, and so far we’ve made a huge mess of that. I was just trying to control your stress, honey, and I went about it wrong. Again. I’m sorry for that.”
“Okay,” Jenna said. “I get that. Thank you for explaining.”
“We really are just trying to follow Doc’s orders,” Dillon said. “We’ve failed you so many times and in so many ways that we’re getting a little desperate. But we’ll keep trying until we get it right. You just need to let us know when we get it wrong.”
“I don’t like to argue,” Jenna said. “I’m not good at it, and just the thought of it makes me tense. I don’t like to get angry, either, like last night. Which, by the way, I’m sorry for.”
“How about if you tell us when we get something wrong, and we’ll do our damnedest to listen and accept that without an argument,” Cole suggested.
“All right,” Jenna agreed. “I’ll try.”
“As for getting angry, you don’t need to apologize for that. Not only did we have it coming to us, but I think you needed to let some of your feelings out. I know it’s not good for you to get so upset, but I think in this instance it was worth it.”
“And we’ll try to stop second guessing everything you say,” Dillon put in as he slid a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of her.
“Thanks, Dillon, this looks wonderful,” she said, picking up her fork. She was very hungry, but she remembered what Cole had said the night before, and now they were both sitting there watching her. Not wanting to embarrass herself again she made herself eat very slowly, but after a couple of bites with them still watching her, she put her fork down, her appetite gone.
“Jenna,” Cole said when it was clear she wasn’t going to eat any more. “Will you please tell us what it is that makes you not want to eat? Is it because I teased you?”
Jenna looked at Cole for a long moment, and then Dillon. They were making an effort. A real honest effort to help her in every way they could. Did she really want to throw that back in their faces? She took a breath and told them what they wanted to know. “It’s not the teasing. Teasing is fine, actually. It’s…not fitting in. Doing things that make me unacceptable to those around me.”
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