“We need to keep her calm, too,” Cole said. “When I think of all the times just in the first two days she was here that I forgot that, it makes me so mad at myself. But I get it now. I get it real well now.”
“Yeah, me too,” Dillon said. “It hurts to know she’s this run down because she had to work and worry so much all those months on her own.”
Cole nodded. “The good news is that if she can build up her body’s resources so it has something to draw on, she should get a little better. Not good enough to go walking around a lot, but good enough that she won’t be this worn out and tired all the time. Before that can happen she needs to get lots of rest, gain some weight, and heal up from all the injuries which are drawing on those resources she doesn’t really have right now.”
“She’s eating regularly, but she doesn’t eat much before she’s full,” Dillon said. “I wonder if Doc can give us some tips on how to get weight on her faster.”
“Why don’t you call him and ask,” Cole suggested. “You can tell him about her increased tiredness, too. Just so he knows.”
“Good idea,” Dillon said. “I’ll go do that right now.”
Cole grabbed his iPad and sat in a chair near the bed with it, though he ended up doing nothing more than watching Jenna sleep. When Dillon returned a little while later and called softly to him, he got up and went back to the door.
“Doc said to increase Jenna’s supplement shakes.”
“What supplement shakes?” Cole asked blankly.
“That’s what I asked. It seems no one remembered to tell us about those before we left the hospital, which Doc ain’t happy about. It’s a special formulation designed for difficult pregnancies, and it’s supposed to help her put on weight, too. I’m gonna run into town and pick up a few cans of it at the clinic. He had some dietary suggestions too, so I’ll stop at Flo’s. Is there anything you want me to pick up?”
“Nothing I can think of at the moment,” Cole said. “What did he say about her increased tiredness?”
“Pretty much what you said. She needs rest, and to gain weight.”
“Okay, you go on ahead. I’ll give you a call if I think of anything else we need.”
***
A week after reintroducing the supplement shakes into Jenna’s diet, Cole entered the bedroom and stopped just inside the door, breathing deeply. “How’d you do that?”
“Do what?” Jenna asked curiously as she slowly ran a brush through her hair with her bruised arm. She’d been putting aloe vera on the scrapes for a week now and they barely hurt at all any more. The bruises were better too, but she still had to be careful how she moved.
“How’d you make the whole room smell like you?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said frowning. “I use it because it really helps me to relax, but I don’t have to if it bothers you.”
“No baby, it doesn’t bother me. Dillon and I love that scent. We never could figure out why your shop smells like you instead of all the other products in the store, so I’m real curious how you did it.”
“Ah,” she said, smiling. “See that?” she asked, pointing to a small cone shaped machine on the bedside table that had what appeared to be water vapor rising from the center of it.
“Yeah,” Cole said, stepping up close to it just as Dillon entered the room. “What is it?”
“It’s a diffuser. Meg got it from my bedroom for me before she came out to visit a couple of days ago. Dillon just helped me set it up. I put my favorite scent in it along with some water, and it scents the room. I use one in the shop, too, but it’s bigger.”
“Is that why the shop always smells like you?” Cole asked. She nodded. “You need help with braiding your hair, baby?”
“No, thank you,” she said, then frowned as she caught a look pass between Dillon and Cole that she’d grown to recognize. “What’s on your minds, guys?”
“Nothing,” Cole said, giving her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Jenna started to nod in acceptance of that, then changed her mind.
“Please tell me.”
“We don’t want to upset you.”
“Now you have to tell me or else I’ll worry about it,” she said, using one of their methods of getting her to tell things she wouldn’t have otherwise.
“Clever girl,” Dillon said, but she saw the worry in his eyes too.
“Come on guys,” she said. “I’m really relaxed right now. If I start to tense up, I’ll let you know.”
“All right,” Cole said. “This is a conversation we have to have at some point so now is as good a time as any.”
Jenna frowned worriedly. “If this is about getting married,” she began but both men shook their heads.
“No, we’re not doing that to you again, angel,” Dillon assured her. “You know how we feel, and when you’re ready, you’ll tell us how you feel. This is something else.”
“All right,” she said. “Let’s hear it.”
“The day you got shot I spoke with Doc at length about your heart and the problems it’s giving you,” Cole began. Since Jenna didn’t appear to be upset at that, he continued. “He made it clear that it’s your heart that has you so weak and worn out, and that it’s the reason you need to be on bed rest. He also said that as the babies grow, your heart will have to work harder. There’s not going to be much getting better for you before those babies are born, Jenna. We understand that now, and according to Doc you know it, too.”
“Yes, I know,” she admitted. “I try to pretend I can stubborn my way through it, but I understand the reality of my situation perfectly well. Believe me, Doc was very specific and very clear.” Dillon tilted his head, then his eyes widened.
“You knew this would happen right from the beginning, didn’t you?”
“Well, neither Doc nor I thought it would happen this soon, but yes, I knew,” she replied, frowning at his expression.
“You chose to have these babies, to continue with this pregnancy, knowing all along that it could cost you your life.”
“Of course,” she said, a gentle smile replacing her frown as her hands caressed her stomach gently. “I’d never choose my own life over the lives of my children—our children, Dillon.”
“Even as angry as you were with us?” Cole asked.
“I was angry with you, that’s true,” Jenna said. “But I was more hurt and afraid than angry and besides, I’d never take out my feelings about you on our innocent children. Finding out I was going to have a baby was…I don’t have words to describe it. At first I was terrified that you’d find out, but that didn’t change how happy I was that it was yours. When I found out I was having twins, my happiness didn’t double. It quadrupled. I felt like I was the most blessed woman on the planet.”
“We’re blessed too, Jenna,” Cole said. “More blessed than we have any right to be. But Doc told me how dangerous it would be for you to have a normal labor and delivery. He said you know that too, but that you’ve been pushing for it anyway. And he told me why.”
Jenna nodded as she struggled to hold back sudden tears. “I’m doing everything Doc said to do. And I’m feeling a lot better with the supplements. I really should have mentioned them sooner but I thought Doc must have discontinued them since you had the vitamins and all of his instructions. But they’re really helping so maybe I’ll get strong enough.”
“Jenna, honey, please don’t,” Cole said. “I’m begging you. Please let this idea go. The risk to your life is too great.”
“What if I can’t have children again because I have one more scar?”
“Assuming you choose to stay with us, we’ll adopt if we want more,” Dillon said. “Right now you’re giving us one daughter and one son. If that’s all the children we have, we’ll be over the moon happy. But we’ll never be happy again if we lose you.”
“What if Doc says it’s safe?” she asked, unable to let the idea go so quickly.
“If Doc says it’s safe, then fine,” Cole said, already knowing tha
t wasn’t going to happen. Jenna knew that too. He could see it in her eyes.
“You’re looking tired, angel,” Dillon said, changing the subject to give her a few minutes to think. “Ready to go to bed?”
“Yes, I am,” she replied, setting her brush down. Cole got up to get a glass of water while Dillon got her vitamins.
“By the way, the Denali arrived today, finally,” Dillon said.
“The what?”
“The new SUV,” Dillon replied. “It’s a Denali.”
“Oh,” Jenna said, surprised. “I thought it was supposed to arrive in just a few days. It’s been what? A week?”
“Eleven days,” Cole said. “Jag found an outfit that not only installs bulletproof glass, but fully armors entire vehicles, so that’s what we opted for. It took extra time but it’s worth it.”
“I really want to accuse you of major overkill,” Jenna said with a wry smile. “But since I still have stitches from both a bomb and a bullet, I’ll just say thank you.”
Dillon chuckled. “You’re welcome, angel. If you’re feeling up to it, we thought we’d break it in by taking you into town for lunch at Meg’s tomorrow.”
“Oh, I’d love that,” Jenna said, her eyes lighting up. “Have you told Meg?”
“No, we thought you’d like it to be a surprise.”
“Yes, I really would.”
“I wonder if we should call the clinic and see if Doc’ll be in,” Cole said. “I know you have an appointment for Monday, but it wouldn’t hurt to let him get a quick look at you and check your stitches while we’re in town anyway.”
“What day is it?” Jenna asked.
“Wednesday,” Dillon replied.
“Doc’s in the clinic on Thursdays so if they have an opening we should be able to see him,” she said before yawning.
“That’s great,” Cole said. “We’ll call first thing in the morning.”
Jenna took her vitamins, handed the glass back to Cole, then Dillon helped her into the center of the enormous bed. After changing into cotton sleep shorts that they’d taken to wearing for Jenna’s sake, they climbed in beside her before turning the lights off.
“I’m not sleeping as much as I was,” she said.
“No, you’re not,” Dillon agreed. “You’re right about the shakes, too. I’m really curious to see if you’ve put on any weight.”
“I think I have,” she said. “Not a lot, but some. Not to change the subject, but I’ve been thinking about names for the babies.”
“What’d you come up with?” Cole asked, holding one hand lightly against the insistent thumping of one of their children.
Jenna hesitated, wondering if this was a mistake. “Before I tell you, promise me that if you don’t like them, you’ll say so.”
“We promise,” Dillon said.
“Well, I was thinking Maxim for the boy, and Marline for the girl, Max and Marli, for short.”
Both men went utterly still, and for a long moment she was afraid to breathe. Then Cole rolled over and the light came on. They both looked down at her, the expressions on their faces unreadable.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Dillon asked in a whisper.
“Yes,” she whispered back, looking from one to the other and back again. “If you don’t want…,” she broke off when Cole placed a gentle finger against her lips.
“We’re a little overwhelmed, honey,” he said. “Give us a moment.”
She nodded, still uncertain how they felt about her suggestion. Then Dillon took a long shaky breath. “We’re stunned, Jenna. It’s hard to believe that you even thought of this, but thank you from the bottom of our hearts.”
She smiled with relief. “I love those names,” she said. “I considered calling our son Maxi, but I think it’s too girlish.”
“No, you’re right baby, Max is perfect,” Cole said.
“I’m so glad you agree. I was worried it would remind you too much of sad things.”
“No, just the opposite,” Dillon said. “It’ll help us to remember how beautiful and bright our sisters were. Thank you, Jenna.”
“I’m so glad about this,” Jenna said happily. “I’m tired of calling them the babies all the time. If you guys are really sure, of course. I don’t wanna start thinking of them as Max and Marli if we’re gonna change them later.”
“Not a chance, baby,” Cole said as they both leaned down to kiss her cheeks.
Dillon scooted down in the bed and kissed her tummy. “Did you hear that you two? You have names now. Max and Marli. Max and Marli Howard.” He looked up at Cole and Jenna who were both smiling down at him. “What about middle names?”
“I didn’t get that far,” Jenna said sleepily. “How about you two come up with something?”
“With pleasure, baby,” Cole said. “Since we’re on the subject, we’ve been meaning to ask how you’d feel about asking Peter to be a grandpa.”
“I think it’s a great idea,” she said immediately. “I’m so glad you thought of it.”
“Excellent,” Cole said as he turned the light back off. “We’ll ask him tomorrow.” He hesitated, but decided he had to ask. “Jenna, you didn’t tell us your decision. Will you give up this idea of vaginal delivery?”
Jenna took a slow deep breath, then let it out, sending her last, feeble hopes for a normal labor and delivery with it. “Yes,” she said finally. “I don’t want to die, you know. I just wanted something to be normal for a change, that’s all.”
“We understand, honey,” Cole said. “We really do, and we’re sorry you can’t have this. But I swear, you mean more to us than anything or anyone. We can’t bear the idea of losing you.”
“I think I’m beginning to get that,” she said softly. Cole’s heart leapt in his chest but as much as he wanted to, he didn’t press for more.
“You go to sleep now, baby,” he said.
“Happy to,” she murmured, her eyes closing. She drifted off a few moments later while Cole and Dillon caressed her stomach.
“Damn,” Dillon said when they were sure she was asleep. “I thought it would take her a lot longer than this to start letting herself believe how much we love her.”
“I think it’s mostly because she’s got such a good and forgiving heart.”
“I know,” Dillon said. “But I’ll take it anyway. We can spend the rest of our lives proving to her that she isn’t making a mistake.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
“We have to come up with middle names for the babies that honor Jenna’s family,” Dillon said.
“James is a no-brainer, of course. Maxim James Howard. I like the sound of that.”
“Me too,” Dillon agreed. “What about our daughter?”
“What was her father’s name?”
“Robert. Roberta could work.”
“I guess, but I just had an idea,” Cole said. “Jenna loves Meg a lot more than I ever suspected. She really is the mother Jenna never had, and Meg loves her just as much.”
“You’re right. Meg’s real name is Meghan isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is,” Cole said. “What do you think of Marline Meghan Howard?”
“Perfect,” Dillon replied. “Marline Meghan, and Maxim James.” Dillon’s voice thickened as he said the names.
“Beautiful,” Cole said, his own voice thickening as well.
“I hope Jenna likes them as much as we do.”
“She never fails to surprise me with her generosity and thoughtfulness,” Cole said. “It’s amazing that she even thought of using Max and Marli. I didn’t.”
“Neither did I,” Dillon said. “But I’m so glad she did. They’re perfect names.”
“They are.” Cole felt a tiny foot press against his hand and smiled. “Max and Marli. I love it.”
“Me too,” Dillon said. “Maybe tomorrow we can get Doc to do an ultrasound. I’d really love knowing which is which.”
“Good idea,” Cole replied. “We’ll ask him.”
***
The next morning, while Dillon called the clinic and got an appointment for Jenna that afternoon, Cole called Peter and invited him over for coffee. Since Peter lived in a house they’d built for him not too far from their own house, it only took him a few minutes to arrive. When he entered the kitchen he smiled at Jenna and gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head the way he did every time he saw her. It never failed to warm her heart and bring a smile to her face.
“So what’s up?” Peter asked after he was seated across the kitchen table from Jenna with a cup of coffee.
“What makes you think something’s up?” Cole asked. “Maybe we just wanted to see you.”
“I got nothin’ to say about that ‘til Jenna gets those swear jars set up,” Peter said, winking at Jenna. She laughed at that, then glanced from Cole to Dillon meaningfully.
Dillon cleared his throat, and Jenna hid a smile. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him nervous before. “Peter, we’d like to ask…no…I mean, we are asking…obviously…oh damn.” He paused, took a breath, then blurted out, “Peter, we’d like you to be our babies’ grandpa.”
Peter went completely still for a long moment. “You shootin’ straight with me, Dillon?” he asked finally. “Cause if you’re not, I’m gonna be mighty pissed.”
“Yes Peter, of course,” Dillon said, grinning now.
Peter nodded, pushed his chair back, stood up, walked around the table, knelt down beside Jenna’s chair and wrapped his arms around her very carefully. After holding her for several long moments he whispered “Thank you, darlin’,” into her ear. She patted him on the back, her eyes tearing up at the raw emotion in Peter’s voice. When Peter stood up he hugged both Cole and Dillon, though they rose to their feet first.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier about anything in my whole life,” Peter said a few minutes later when he’d gotten his emotions under control. “I promise to be a real good grandpa, too.”
“We know you will be,” Jenna said, smiling despite her happy tears.
“We’ve got something else to tell you,” Cole said.
“I’m not sure I can take much more good news,” Peter joked.
“We named the babies.” Peter smiled and waited. “Maxim James, and Marline Meghan. Max and Marli for short.”
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