by Sykes, Julia
I had no idea what to say. It wasn’t as though I could gloss over it and move on with a new topic of conversation; the proverbial elephant would still very much be in the room. My best option was to address it directly and make light of it.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to stare?” I teased her.
Her eyes snapped to mine, startled, and her cheeks flamed red. I couldn’t hold back a grin at the sight. Watching her react to me was sweet enough, but her mortification was what really enflamed my desire. It made her seem so… innocent. The thought of it made my mouth water.
“But I don’t mind, you know,” I continued lightly, letting her know that her wide-eyed fascination wasn’t something to be embarrassed about.
Just as her eyes were riveted to me, mine were drawn to her as well. As I studied her, I realized that she was wearing my clothes. They swallowed her tiny frame, but the curve of her breasts was still visible beneath my white t-shirt. If she hadn’t been wearing a bra, I would have been able to see her dusky pink nipples through the thin fabric. The sight of her wearing my clothes made me immensely satisfied for some reason that I couldn’t quite understand.
When my gaze flicked back up to her face, I found her scowling in response to my scrutiny.
“Well I do mind,” she snapped. “What have I told you about your sordid little fantasies? They’re totally fucked up.”
Damn it.
I had been trying to put her at ease, not make her feel even more threatened. Some of my hunger for her body must have shown through when I was studying her. She pulled away from me, recoiling in disgust, but my hand shot out to grasp her wrist possessively, stopping her short.
“Claudia…” I said her name stupidly, once again having no idea what I wanted to say to her.
She jerked against my grip. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed.
But I didn’t release her; I couldn’t. I needed to explain.
Explain what? That the feel of her delicate wrist held fast in my grip felt far better than it ought to? That it made me want to hold her down and fuck her senseless?
She was glaring at me pointedly, her mental resolve making up for her physical weakness. I forced myself to let her go, to withdraw from the delicious heat of her skin, so soft against my calloused palms.
As soon as I released her, she was on her feet, pacing back and forth in the small space not taken up by the bed. Her eyes were a bit wild, and I hated to see her so distressed.
“Claudia?” I said her name gently, trying to snap her out of whatever dark thoughts were plaguing her. She didn’t respond. Well, I wasn’t going to stand for that. I wasn’t just going to lie here and watch her go to pieces. “Claudia,” I spoke more insistently this time, my tone demanding an answer. “What’s wrong?”
Her expression was furious as she rounded on me. “What’s wrong?!” She shrieked. Panic and fury were warring in her eyes. “I’ve been kidnapped by a horny jackass, that’s what’s wrong. One who doesn’t seem to have any plans to let me go. Ever. So, what, am I supposed to just be fine with it when you make a pass at me when I can’t get away? Am I supposed to be fine with it when you get wood and then leer at me like that?”
Her accusations hit too close to home. I was acting like a “horny jackass,” a kid who couldn’t keep it in his pants. And no, I didn’t have any plans to let her go. I was going to keep her trapped here with me indefinitely, until we both went mad from sexual repression. Yes, I knew now that I wasn’t the only one who felt the attraction. And that just made it that much harder for me to hold back.
The situation was shitty, but what choice did I have? Would she rather I let her die?
“Listen, doc,” I snapped, letting anger and frustration get the better of me. “Your options are either Bradley insists on killing you, or you stay here indefinitely. I went with option B. Sorry if that gets your panties in a bunch, but the way I see it, I saved your life.” I was on the defensive now. How was I supposed to resist her when she made it clear that she wanted me as well?
“And I’m going to get morning wood,” I told her. “I’m a red-blooded man; of course I’m going to get a hard-on if I wake up with a beautiful woman pressed against me.” Childishly, I shifted some of the blame on her. “And I don’t recall forcing you to cuddle with me.”
She gasped in disbelief, evidently stunned that I would dare to turn the tables on her.
“I’m the one who saved your life, in case you don’t recall,” she said acidly. “All you did was take my life away from me. Sure, I’m still breathing, but what am I supposed to do? Stay locked in this room forever? What kind of life is that?”
I was furious. “What do you want from me?” I knew that my intense frustration with myself must have bled into my tone, because she took a small step back. I didn’t want to scare her, but I couldn’t suppress my anger. If only I could explain to her that I was keeping her here for her own good…
But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. The idea of seeing the disdain in her eyes if she discovered that I was one of the violent Westies was unbearable.
“I can’t let you go, but I won’t let you die,” I said tersely. “That’s the best I can offer you.”
But she didn’t understand. Of course she didn’t. “How magnanimous,” she spat. “If you really weren’t some kind of twisted monster, you would let me go.” There was a desperate, pleading edge to her voice. It made my heart twist.
Monster. She didn’t know the half of it.
“This isn’t up for debate, doc,” I shouted at her, all of my frustration and self-loathing bubbling over. “You’re not leaving.”
She turned from me quickly, but not before I saw her bottom lip quiver.
Fuck. Now I had made her cry. I was the monster she accused me of being.
“Claudia?” I said her name softly, regretfully. I hated the thought that I had brought this strong woman to tears, when even Bradley holding her at gunpoint hadn’t broken her.
She just stood there silently, all of her muscles taut with the effort of suppressing her emotions. I knew what she was doing, recognized the signs. She was trying to bury the hurt, the fear. As though if she could just contain it, it would go away. But I knew what a burden that was, to carry around years of anguish behind walls so thick that nothing and no one could get through.
“Shit,” I cursed under my breath, pained at the sight of her desperate efforts to hold herself together. “Claudia, I-”
I was cut off when Bradley burst into the room. Before I could move a muscle, he was advancing on her, his face twisted into a snarl so horrible that I hardly recognized my friend. He grasped her shoulders roughly, slamming her back against the wall.
“I thought I warned you not to upset him,” he snarled.
“Bradley!” I shouted at him, my tone authoritative. But he ignored me.
He glowered down at her. “Apologize,” he growled threateningly.
Her eyes were wide and fearful, but Bradley didn’t allow her a second to gather her thoughts. He shook her hard, and I saw his fingers dig into her upper arms ruthlessly. “Apologize!” He demanded again, more harshly this time.
“I…” She was gasping for air, trying to find her voice. “I’m sorry.”
“Bradley, that’s enough.” Although I could do little more than struggle up onto my elbows, I unleashed the full force of my menace upon him, willing him to leave her alone. Claudia’s eyes found mine, and the terror in them only increased my fury.
Bradley seemed to sense the anger that was rolling off of me in waves, filling the small space. He released her, rounding on me with a glare. Who was this cruel man standing in my bedroom, terrorizing an innocent woman? He certainly wasn’t anyone that I recognized.
“What is wrong with you?” I demanded, not understanding what was happening to my friend. “Stop fucking doing that. She’s not hurting me. We just had a little disagreement, that’s all. I can fight my own battles.” My hands curled into fists as I took in Claud
ia’s pale face again. “And I won’t allow you to abuse her. Not after she saved my life.”
Bradley’s mouth hardened into a grim line, but after a moment he nodded jerkily. “Fine,” he said curtly. “She’s your responsibility then. You’re the one who wants to keep her here, so you’re going to have to keep her in line.”
That suited me just fine. As difficult as it was to be trapped in her presence without touching her, anything was better than seeing her tormented by my best friend. “I’m pretty sure I can handle her,” I said coldly.
He held my furious glare, the two of us squaring off against one another as an unfamiliar, violent tension filled the air between us.
Then my stomach growled loudly, and all the aggression went out of Bradley instantly. My concerned friend was back. Could it really be that he was only treating her so badly out of loyalty to me? If that was the case, then he was seriously misguided. I knew that I was weakened from my injury, but any idiot could see that I would be able to handle Claudia easily even in my condition. And I knew that I would never need to in any case. She was far too gentle and compassionate to ever hurt anyone. Even if she had looked like she wanted to kick me in the balls a few times.
“You should eat something,” Bradley said kindly. “I’ll get you some food.”
I fixed him with a frown. “Get something for Claudia too,” I demanded.
Bradley’s glare returned. “I thought I just said she was your responsibility.”
Why was he being such a dick? “Well,” I said, my voice tight with annoyance, “I can’t exactly take care of myself right now, so I’d appreciate it if you could help me out.”
His scowl deepened, but he gave another short nod before turning on his heel and leaving the room. Claudia and I waited in silence, the only sounds coming from the kitchen as Bradley got some food together for us. I wanted to say something to her, to apologize for what my friend had just done to her. But even though she deserved an apology, I doubted that it would do much to alleviate her hatred towards us. Was “sorry” supposed to make it all okay? Besides, I didn’t want to seem like I was siding with her over Bradley. He might be completely out of control right now, but he was still my best friend, and I wasn’t going to invite her to start trash talking him again.
She chose the moment that Bradley entered the room to start bossing me around again.
“You should take some more pain killers after you eat,” she told me.
Annoyed, I rolled my eyes at her. Although I found her authoritative air cute, I didn’t appreciate her trying to boss me around in front of Bradley. Especially because he might interpret it as an insult, and then he might go after her again. And to be honest, my shoulder was hurting like a bitch, and I didn’t really feel like having to fight him right now. “Yes, doc,” I said the nickname mockingly. Although a part of me felt guilty for talking down to her, the indignant expression on her face was adorable. Like an angry little kitten. I had to suppress a smile.
I did my best to ignore the tension that infused the air around the three of us: Bradley’s barely-contained aggression, Claudia’s resentment, and my own frustration at the whole shitty situation. So I tucked into my sandwich, watching my friend out of the corner of my eye for any signs of the madman inside of him bursting forth. And praying that Claudia wouldn’t say anything snippy about her sorry excuse for a meal. I almost told Bradley off for not giving her enough food – the woman was tiny enough as it was – but it wasn’t worth disrupting the tenuous balance that we had attained for the moment.
When Claudia opened her mouth to speak, I held my breath, worried that her angry words would ignite the tension in the room like a powder keg.
“Ummm…” She said hesitantly, turning her eyes on me rather than Bradley. I was surprised to see a touch of shame in them. “Can I take a shower?” She asked me, meekly. Well, this was certainly a change. I instantly softened towards her. I knew that she had been uncomfortable enough in her own dirty clothes to resort to wearing mine. Clearly, Bradley and I hadn’t put enough thought into the practicalities of having her live with us.
“Of course,” I said. “Sorry, I should have thought of that.” I couldn’t help taking in the sight of her in my t-shirt and sweats, and I again felt that strange sense of satisfaction at the sight. I was even more pleased when she blushed under my scrutiny. God, that was a beautiful color. As much as I would like to see her in my clothes every day, I guessed that it wouldn’t be all that pleasant for her. I wanted to make her more comfortable with us, to make her feel less like a prisoner. Getting some personal effects for her might make her feel more like she had a place of her own here. “I guess you’ll be needing new clothes, too,” I said after a moment.
Her mouth twisted down in distaste, but she quickly schooled her expression to amiability. “Yeah,” she replied genially, “that would be nice.”
She let out a small, resigned sigh and shot a look at me, a curious mix of emotions dancing in her eyes. There was a hint of appreciation intermingled with resentment. When she noticed that I was studying her, she gave me a small, sweet smile, blinking away whatever it was that I had seen. I held her in my gaze, trying to penetrate her affable mask. What was she thinking? But she was too good, too practiced at hiding her feelings. I wanted to press her, but I decided that I had pushed her enough already; I always seemed to fuck things up when I gave in to my curiosity about her and pried.
I shrugged, leaving her to her secrets.
“You think you could do me another favor, buddy?” I addressed Bradley. He glowered at me, knowing what I was about to ask.
“I am not going shopping for her,” he said staunchly.
Okay, I was pissed. Did he really expect her to stay here forever without any possessions of her own? She wasn’t a prisoner. Well, maybe she was, but that didn’t mean that we had to treat her like one. But I knew that telling Bradley off would just make things worse, and we were in enough of a clusterfuck as it was. “I know that your sense of style is equivalent to a blind old schoolteacher’s who shops at the Family Dollar,” I joked, “but it’s not like I’m asking you to go on a reality show to be America’s Next Top Stylist.”
Bradley didn’t so much as crack a smile. Either he seriously had his panties in a bunch or I was off my game. Come on, that deserved a chuckle at the very least. I rolled my eyes at him. “I’ll pay for it. And I’ll owe you one.”
There was a moment’s pause, and then an evil smile spread over his face. Okay, so I had him smiling, but I didn’t trust that look at all. “If I do this,” he said slowly, “you’re coming to Jolly Lolly’s with me as soon as you get better.”
Fuck, no.
I groaned. “Aw, man, you know I hate that place. The only thing more disease-ridden than the girls in there is the carpeting. And the only thing more desperate is the décor’s serious need of an overhaul. I feel like I need a shower just thinking about it.” I shuddered. The man clearly wanted to punish me in the worst way possible. But this was certainly preferable to his open aggression, and I couldn’t deny that it was nice to see him smiling for a change. Even if his grin had a maliciously pleased edge to it.
“I know you hate it,” he said matter-of-factly. “So that’s why it’s part of the deal. You torture me, I get to torture you.”
I shot him a level look. “Going to pick up a few women’s clothes is not torture,” I said flatly.
“No,” he agreed easily, “But it’s my own personal version of hell.”
“I would say that Jolly Lolly’s is hell,” I retorted, “but even the Devil wouldn’t dare venture in there.” But Bradley’s grin remained firmly fixed in place, and for all my efforts to look disgusted, I couldn’t hold back a small smile. It was nice to see my friend again. When he was showing this side of himself, I could almost forget his new dark persona.
“Fine,” I caved after a moment. “I’ll go once. One night only. You got that?”
“Well,” Bradley said lightly, “that all depends on
how many more favors you ask me to do.”
Right. Keep favors to a minimum. If that wasn’t motivation to get well soon, I didn’t know what was.
“I’ll do everything I can to avoid it,” I promised. But I wasn’t going to let him leave when he was on top; it simply wasn’t acceptable for him to look so smug. “Now run along, errand boy, the lady needs something to wear,” I said imperiously.
Bradley gave a derisive snort, but he turned with a little wave. “I’ll be back as soon as humanly possible,” he said over his shoulder before shutting the bedroom door behind him.
“There’s no need to rush,” I called after him, my tone light. But inside I was hoping that this errand might take him a while; I wanted to give Claudia a reprieve from his threatening presence.
“Oh, believe me, there is,” he called back as he slid the lock home. “I’m getting this over with as quickly as possible.”
My relief at Bradley’s absence dissolved once I was alone with Claudia again. Her body relaxed slightly as her fear melted, and I was filled with a sick sense of satisfaction at her relative ease around me. Sure, I had protected her from Bradley, and that was likely why she was slightly more comfortable around me. But she was a long way from trusting me, much less giving a shit about me.
But if that was true, then why had her demeanor begun to betray lust for me that mirrored my own for her? It was undeniable: there was a palpable erotic tension that was beginning to pulse to life between us, making the air suddenly thick with denied passion.
When she had blushed so beautifully earlier, I had suspected her innocence. Did she understand what was passing between us? I certainly did. Only, I had never experienced attraction this instantaneous nor this intense.
“Soooo,” I said the word slowly, not allowing her the option of ignoring me. Her eyes snapped to mine, and I felt a flare of masculine satisfaction at my small victory. I had her full attention now. My lips were twisted upward in a knowing, slightly mocking smirk. The way she was looking at me was almost hesitant, and I knew that I was throwing her off-balance. It gave me the opportunity that I needed to manipulate her into opening up to me when her guard was down.