by Trina M. Lee
“I’m so fucking jealous.” She sighed, staring at my coffee like it was a long lost lover. “You have no idea how bad I miss coffee. And whiskey. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a whiskey.”
Kylarai sat down across from us with a cup of tea in hand. Coby ambled in from the living room where he’d been watching TV with Allie who stared intently at a tablet, as modern teenagers do. After kissing his wife on the top of her head, he sat next to her.
They made a cute couple. No doubt about that. Lex’s blunder had become Kylarai’s future. Weird how shit worked out like that.
“How’s it going guys?” Coby greeted us. His hand crept across the table to Kylarai’s, and he interlaced his fingers with hers. The action was so natural, so effortless.
I knew that feeling of always wanting to be touching the one you loved. As it was my thigh pressed against Alexa’s under the table. There was no halfway with wolves. We loved with our whole selves.
“Don’t get me started.” Alexa shook her head and picked at a loose thread on the tablecloth. “Rogue wolves. Rebel vampires. Government bullshit. Would this be a bad time for a vacation?”
Pulling a hair tie off her wrist, Kylarai dragged her brown hair into a ponytail. Her eyes were filled with warmth when she looked at Lex. “Probably. You’re the only person I know who finds as much trouble on vacation as at home.”
Alexa made a noise of disgust. “True. Maybe I’ll just barricade myself in my bedroom and go on a Netflix binge. I’ve been meaning to finally see what all the fuss is over Breaking Bad.”
Our last vacation didn’t go as planned. Vegas wasn’t the party town getaway we’d anticipated. Well, it was. But only for the vampires who lived there and the tourists who didn’t know any better.
“You haven’t seen Breaking Bad?” Coby chided with a grin. “You’re missing out. Some of my best Netflix binge work was done on that show.”
With a roll of her grey eyes Kylarai laughed. It was so good to see her laughing again. She was one of the first wolves to make an effort to connect with me when I joined Raoul’s pack. Taking me under her wing like a big sister, she helped me find myself here. Her recent loss and heartbreak had crushed me.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Lex,” Ky admonished. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, but you can handle it. Actually, I think you’d be incredibly bored without the challenge.”
“Agreed,” I said, catching Allie sneaking glances at me in my peripheral vision. When I turned my head in her direction, she dropped her gaze back to her tablet. “I think this is a great time for women in our city. Lex, you, and Hanna have a great opportunity here. There’s still a chance for good to come from all this.”
She mulled this over and gave a grudging nod. “Maybe. It would sure help if everyone else could somehow suppress the urge to do whatever the fuck they want.”
Coby shook his head and rubbed a hand over his five o’clock shadow. “I don’t know how you do it. But like I’ve said before, don’t hesitate to let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.”
Alexa reached across the table to pat Coby and Ky’s joined hands. Inclining her head toward Allie, she smiled. “Trust me. You guys have done so much more than you know.”
With a giggle, Ky leaned in and whispered, “Shaz, I think someone has a crush on you.” She rolled her eyes in Allie’s direction. “That’s so cute.”
“Oh my gosh, are you blushing? I can’t believe how much I love that.” Alexa bumped her shoulder against mine. Leaning in so close her lips moved against my ear, she murmured, “I didn’t think I could possibly want you more.”
Her mouth was hot on my skin, breath tickling my lobe. My groin tightened, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. When her hand slid onto my thigh, I held my breath, trying to keep my composure.
Brow arched, Kylarai eyed our flirty teasing. “So you guys are all good? I worry about you, you know. I know it’s been hard with… everything.”
Everything. That was one way of putting it. What she specifically meant was death. Alexa’s death. And more than a few nights of bloodshed and mayhem. Not to mention Kale and Falon.
Watching the worst parts of Arys manifest in Alexa was never going to be easy. It made me sick when the video of her with Falon replayed in my mind. As much as I hated it, I got it. I didn’t want to, but I did. I hoped it would run its course and they would both move on.
Though as much as I hated it, Kale was worse. Because he wasn’t just her victim and he didn’t hate her. He loved her, wanted her, and didn’t give a damn about Arys or me. If Kale really loved her, he would have left months ago. Running him out of town was one of the best decisions Arys had ever made. But that was one belief that would never pass my lips. I hoped like hell the bastard never came back. I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep from staking him myself if he did.
Lex and I exchanged a look. There was an unspoken question in her eyes, as if she too wanted to know how I felt.
“Yeah, we’re all good,” I said, watching relief flicker through those brown orbs. “It’ll take a lot more than death and chaos to get the best of us.”
Chin propped in her hand, Kylarai scrutinized us the way only someone who’d known us both so long could. It was her mom stare. The one that meant she was searching us for any signs of something wrong, something we might be trying to keep from her. We’d both learned long ago that we couldn’t hide anything from Ky for long. She had a way of getting us to spill without even trying. With just that look.
I couldn’t help but smirk under her careful scrutiny. She expected me to be taking all this a lot harder than I was. What she didn’t know was that, while I’d been away, I was confronted with a choice. I could stay in the mountains and live among the wolves for the rest of my natural life. Or I could come back home willing to accept that perhaps I had a bigger role to play here, and that meant accepting all the crap that went with it. Can’t say it was an easy decision. Yet here I sat.
“Ok, that’s all I want to hear.” Ky decided we weren’t withholding anything and relaxed, a smile lighting up her face. “You guys are my peeps, you know? It gives me a sad when things are rough.”
“Gives you a sad?” Lex repeated with a laugh at the same time I said, “Peeps?”
Ky snickered to herself, looking pleased. “I miss this. Having you guys here. We need to hang out more often.”
Gazing longingly at the mug in Ky’s hand, Lex sighed. “We really do.”
About an hour later Lex rose and headed for the door. Even though we’d arrived in separate cars, I started to get up to follow, but Ky stopped me with a hand on my wrist. So I promised to meet Lex at her place and waited.
As soon as her car’s engine roared to life outside, Kylarai turned to me with the mom face again. “Level with me, Shaz. How are things really?”
Sensing the sudden severity of the conversation, Coby excused himself to the living room where he busied himself rousing the sleepy teen and ushering her off to bed.
I met her expectant gaze, losing the battle with the grin that fought to break through. “Come on, Ky. It’s not like I can lie to you. Like we said, things are fine. Kind of fucked up, but fine.”
“Maybe not lie but you can slip a pretty good half-truth by me. Look, I know shit has gotten crazy for you guys, and I also know you’re not telling me most of it because you think I’m all weak and fragile right now. So stop screwing around and be straight up with me.” Her fun-loving nature was hidden behind the take-no-shit attitude she served me.
My grin disappeared. Clasping my hands together, I leaned forward. “How’s this for straight up? Lex died and I saw it happen. She doesn’t even know. It’s the single most heartbreaking moment of my existence. She changed and I did too. Life with her is going to be messy. I know that. But I saw a vision of life without her in Shya’s horror house, and it terrified me. I’d rather be a mess with her than have it all without her.”
Kylarai’s expression softened, and she came to sit
beside me. Throwing her arms around me, she laid her head on my shoulder. “Do you realize what you’ll be giving up?”
“Yeah, I do.” I’d already had this conversation with myself. “But I’ll be getting the better deal.”
“And what about Arys?” She tensed before squeaking out, “And Kale? Sorry, had to ask.”
I scowled at the sound of his name. “He’s gone. It’s over. They bring out the worst in each other, and they know it. As for Arys, things are cool with me and him. And that’s not a half-truth.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, raising her head to blink quizzically at me. “I’m not doubting you, Shaz. I just want to make sure you’re making decisions that are about what’s best for you, not Alexa. You know how much I love you both, but Arys isn’t going anywhere. Are you sure you’re ok with that?”
I leaned into her warm, wolfy embrace. The more I thought about it the clearer it became. “Yeah, I am. I wasn’t always, but I think I’m starting to figure it out, Ky. Alexa always says I keep her grounded, and I think there’s some truth to that. Arys himself has said that she and I were always meant to be. Whatever it is that forces twin flames to live in conflict, I think I balance it out somehow.”
Ky shook her head, her ponytail bouncing. “Let me see if I get this. Arys and Alexa are one entity. On some supernatural level they’re a whole that’s been split into two beings, like the yin yang. Masculine, feminine, light, dark, and so on. So they can’t be each other’s soul mate because they’re the same entity. So you’re her soul mate. Does that mean you’re Arys’s too? Wow this is confusing.”
My frown was met with a peal of laughter. I hadn’t considered that. And I wasn’t about to start now. “Let’s not go down that path,” I said with a chuckle of my own. “Although I’m sure Arys would love that. I can safely say that I don’t look at him that way.”
Kylarai pursed her lips and tilted her head. “But does he look at you that way? I mean you guys are intimate together, right?”
My face burned with the embarrassment of having her so blatantly say it. Our arrangement was still a sensitive subject. I wasn’t ready for it to be the topic of discussion. “Whatever you’re picturing, and please don’t picture it, it’s not what you’re thinking,” I assured her. “It’s always about Alexa when we’re all together. Arys and me, we focus on her. Nothing happens between the two of us.” If you could call a kiss and more than a few bites nothing.
Whatever Kylarai saw on my face convinced her to drop the subject. She ruffled my hair and nodded. “Ok. I just wanted to make sure you were doing what’s best for you. It sounds like you’ve thought this through.”
“I have.”
“Good.” She kissed my cheek and yawned. “You can take off now. Go to your soul mate. Or is that soul mates?”
Her girlish giggle was such a relief after the shit she’d been through that I accepted her remark with a smile. But when I was sitting in the driveway in my car a few minutes later, I mulled over her theory.
Nope. No way. No how.
Not even going to entertain the thought. That was just too twisted. I had to draw the line somewhere.
CHAPTER FOUR
Two nights in a row at The Wicked Kiss. Sure didn’t do that much anymore.
Alexa wanted to hang out and wait for Echo to show. She was a regular so she’d probably be by sometime tonight to hook up with one of the many ready and willing victims swarming the place. I’d come along to keep an eye on the A-team.
Arys and Alexa were already starting out to be a handful. Arys was restless, bored and annoyed with the sprawl of willing food. While those with a heartbeat drank and danced, he watched them with a sneer and bitched about needing a real hunt. Alexa was quiet. It was a tense quiet. She was brooding.
We sat in a booth seat near the door with Jez. I didn’t have to ask about Willow to know his situation hadn’t improved much since Halloween. Lex was worried sick about him. Every so often her gaze would slide toward the bar where he usually sat, and her expression would fall.
“So we just sit here waiting for some dumbass vampire to show up?” Jez griped. She sipped a bright pink drink that smelled like cotton candy. “Boring. Is the hot waitress working tonight at least?”
“I don’t know,” Lex said absently. “Why don’t you go look for her?”
“Trying to get rid of me already? Rude.” The leopard stared at Alexa, curiosity in her green eyes. “Maybe you should take a nip of one of these walking, talking snacks, Lex. You’re looking pretty blue eyed and edgy.”
That she was. Though I didn’t love it, I’d had plenty of time to get used to the blue eyes. They were still her eyes, just his color. I’d learned to accept them as a sign of what monster reigned stronger within her, which made it easier to judge her mood and mindset.
“That’s not a bad idea,” I added.
One dainty but deadly fang peeked out from beneath her upper lip as she gnawed at the lower one. I had seen Lex rock the wolf fangs many times. It was frightfully badass. The vampire fangs though, they were downright fucking sexy.
“Are you volunteering?” she asked, giving Jez a pointed look.
Jez’s bark of laughter was loud in my ear. The two of us sat across from the two vamps. She pointed a finger at me. “Ha! You wish. How about this prime piece of man meat?”
Inside I stiffened, but on the outside I stayed calm and cool. Just the thought of Alexa’s fangs opening my vein made my dick hard. “You know I’m always here for you, babe.” I caught her eye and winked.
“What about me?” Arys jumped in, raising a dark brow as he leaned forward on the table to get closer to me. “I could go for a nip of tall, blond and wolf.”
I scratched my head, using my middle finger to do it. He didn’t miss it. His smile was somehow both amused and threatening.
“No,” Alexa broke in, drawing both our gazes to her. “I want Shaz clear headed. Arys, if you need to sink fangs that bad, take your pick.” She waved a hand at the steady flow of people streaming into the building.
Sheer disgust crossed his face. “What am I? An animal in the zoo? Lock me in a cage and throw me a slab of meat. Where’s the fun in that? A predator needs more than the feed. It needs the hunt. You know that. So if you’ll all excuse me, I’m just going to slip out for a bit. I’ll be back.”
Lex and I shared a look. “So, this hunt you speak of, no chance it’s of the wolf variety?” she asked, refusing to slide out of the booth to let him out until he answered.
“It is not,” he answered through clenched teeth. A muscle twitched in his jaw.
“I’m serious, Arys. No wolves.” Alexa pinned him with a stare so much like his own with those eyes. The two of them engaged in a staring contest, neither willing to look away.
To my surprise, Arys broke first. He pounded a fist once on the table, almost upsetting Jez’s drink. The telltale sensation of heavy static followed. Someone was frustrated.
“Do you want to send the pup along to make sure I behave myself?” Arys asked with his asshole-ish smirk.
“You want me to trust you alone with him?” Alexa pretty much laughed in his face. “Good one. Maybe if you didn’t have such a hard on for wolf blood right now.”
The atmosphere grew tense as they stared at one another. The conflict was never ending with the two of them. Curious about what I’d just told Kylarai last night, I leaned across the table and put a hand on Alexa’s wrist, using the other to punch Arys in the shoulder.
While touching them both, I said, “Guys. Chill.”
Watching them both for a reaction, I wasn’t the least bit surprised when Arys jerked out of reach. Lex relaxed, her shoulders slumping as the tension seeped from her. Was I reading too much into this or had I just diffused a bomb before it could go off?
Jez sipped from her drink, watching the two vampires like they were entertainment. “Is it just me or do you two feed each other’s crazy?”
“Oh, and I’m not afraid of Arys,” I said with a f
rown. I knew Lex meant well when she got all protective, but I was over it. “Also, I’m not going to babysit him either. I’m staying here with you.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to tag along, pup? We can finish the discussion we started last night.” Blatant hunger filled Arys’s intense gaze. Although I wasn’t afraid of him, being alone with him when he was all worked up could definitely be dangerous.
That was a conversation I wasn’t sure I wanted to finish. Whatever Arys had up his sleeve, I didn’t want any part of it. I was pretty damn sure there was nothing he could do to help me gain the trust of the Doghead wolves, nor did I want him to.
“What discussion?” Alexa asked, suspicious.
“Nothing important,” I said, leaning back in the booth, refusing to play Arys’s game.
Her annoyed glare passed over us each in turn. She thought we were hiding something. I suspected that lately she felt like the odd one out of our group, which was strange since it used to be me. I personally didn’t think any of us was the odd one out, but I understood why she might feel otherwise. The dynamic between us had undergone many changes in the last year.
When neither of us would elaborate, she huffed and got up to let Arys out. Ignoring the angry look she shot him, he pulled her close for a kiss. She was stiff in his arms, but it melted away beneath his touch. Arys slipped away, gliding through the nightclub before disappearing outside. At one time witnessing such a thing would have upset me. Not anymore.
“Let me out,” Jez demanded, nudging me excitedly. “I think I see Wendi. How do I look? Is my lipstick smeared?”
I managed to vacate the booth before she climbed over me. She didn’t wait for an answer before taking off across the room. I sat back down, and Alexa slid in on my side.
“I hope Echo shows up soon,” she said, scanning the room for the vampiress. “I’d rather not sit here all night thinking hungry thoughts about the patrons.”