‘Oi! Cheat!’ Daniel grabbed his belongings and raced after me as I squealed like a little girl. Suddenly, next Saturday didn’t seem like the terrifying ordeal I’d started to build it up to being.
Chapter 19
* From Gary
Lawton’s have just booked a viewing for 3pm. Still no offer from that other couple. They obviously weren’t that keen after all :( I wish you’d respond to my texts. I’ve already apologised a million times. It was wrong of me to send that text, but I can’t change what’s done. You must really hate me to keep ignoring me like this
* To Gary
I don’t hate you. I just hate what you’ve done to us. It’s Jess’ wedding. It’s about them today, not you. Please don’t text me again today unless it’s to say we have an offer
* From Gary
Sorry. The date hadn’t registered. Please congratulate Jess & Lee. I hope they have a great day. Hope you don’t get too many questions about us
* To Gary
They can ask as many questions as they want, but I’ll just introduce them to my gorgeous new boyfriend and they’ll be able to see I’ve moved on. Please stop texting
I bit my lip as I put my Blackberry back in my bag. That had been a bit mean, but then again, it wasn’t as mean as making out that he was devastated about the house selling when he was really out having fun with his boyfriend. I pushed Jess’ bedroom door open.
‘You look absolutely stunning, Jess.’ I reached forwards and flounced her veil. ‘It’s really flattering.’
Jess smiled and twirled. ‘I must have had some sort of sixth sense when I picked an Empire line dress. Perfect style for hiding my stomach. You wouldn’t think I was twenty weeks pregnant with twins, would you?’
‘You can’t tell at all, but even if you could, it would be something to be proud of.’
Jess pulled the dress tightly across her stomach, revealing a small baby bump. She stroked it and looked down. ‘Now, you two, listen to mummy carefully. I know you’ve started your flutterings, but mummy doesn’t like them. Makes me feel like I’m on a roller coaster. So please be nice to me on my wedding day and hold off on the weird stuff. Can you do that?’ She cocked her head. ‘I’ll take the silence as agreement. Thank you.’
I laughed. ‘You’ve really started flutterings?’
‘Tuesday was the first. I like being able to feel the babies, but I don’t like the actual sensation. It freaks me out a bit.’ She reached out and took my hand, her face suddenly serious. ‘Are you really okay about today? Without Gary, I mean.’
I sat down on the edge of the bed and indicated that she should join me. I took her hand. ‘Today is your day, Jess. Enjoy it. Please don’t spend a single moment of it worrying about me.’
She squeezed my hand. ‘If you’re sure…?’
‘I’m sure.’
Jess smiled. ‘And your new man, Daniel, is serious?’
I laughed. ‘I don’t think I could cope with “serious” after what I’ve just been through. I’m enjoying it, though. He’s good for me. I think you’ll like him.’
‘If you like him then I’ll like him.’
‘Thank you, Jess. I’m in a good place right now, so you really don’t need to worry about me.’
‘I’ll always worry about you,’ she said. ‘That’s what sisters are for.’
I laughed as we hugged each other. I really meant it when I said I was in a good place. Daniel was helping, a couple of nights out with Sarah had helped too, and that old cliché of time had worked wonders. The only major blip at the moment was the delights of a day with my mother.
Right on cue, the bedroom door opened. ‘Ah, there’s the two of you. The divorcee and the pregnant one. I couldn’t be prouder.’
I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to correct her appalling grammar. ‘Hello, Mother. You made it! And here was me thinking the wedding car would be making a stop at the pub to collect you en route.’
She scowled at me. ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘Come on, Jess,’ I said. ‘It’s nearly time to say, “I do.” Are you ready?’
‘I’m ready.’ She stood up and flounced out her skirts.
‘You don’t look too fat in that dress,’ Mother said.
‘I’m not fat. I’m pregnant.’
Mother shrugged. ‘Same thing. Your body’s ruined for life now.’
I reached for Jess’ hand. ‘I think she looks stunning and, as her mother, you should be telling her that.’
Mother cleared her throat and, for once in her life, I thought an apology might be on its way or perhaps even a compliment. But that would have been far too much to expect. ‘That colour you’re wearing,’ she said, pointing at my dress. ‘What is that?’
‘It’s sage,’ I said.
‘Sage? That’s not a colour. That’s a herb.’
I bit my lip really hard to fight back the mouthful of abuse I wanted to give her. It would ruin Jess’ day and, let’s face it, she really wasn’t worth it. I would have my Cynthia-style confrontation with her one day. Today wasn’t that day.
It was late-afternoon by the time we’d finished the wedding breakfast then the speeches. I smiled across at Daniel from the top table as I took a nibble out of my sliver of wedding cake. ‘Okay?’ I mouthed.
‘Perfect,’ he mouthed back. He was seated at a table with Sarah, Nick, and some of Jess’ friends. Judging by the shrieks of laughter, everyone had gelled well and Daniel seemed to be playing a lead role in keeping them amused. I loved that he was making such an effort to fit in. Gary would have looked lost and uncomfortable in the same scenario. He hated big social get-togethers like this.
Dad appeared by my side and asked Lee’s dad if he wouldn’t mind swapping places while we had our coffees.
‘How are you holding up?’ he asked, pulling his chair in.
‘I’m fine thanks, Dad. I’m not the poor bugger who’s had to sit next to Mother for the whole meal.’
Dad laughed. ‘Where is she?’
‘Do you really need to ask?’
His eyes flicked in the direction of the bar. I nodded and he sighed.
‘How are you holding up without Gary?’ he asked.
‘Surprisingly well. I know it’s only been eight weeks, but things hadn’t been right for quite some time so it was a long time coming. I’ve had my ups and downs, but I’m definitely getting there. The house is on the market, the divorce is going through and I’ve met someone else. It’s change. It’s unexpected change. But it’s good change.’
Dad poured cream into his coffee and stirred. ‘I’m sure I’ll be able to chat to him properly later, but first impressions are good. Is it serious?’
I shrugged. ‘Jess asked me the same thing. He’s told me he loves me.’
Dad stopped stirring and turned to me, mouth slightly open. ‘How long have you been together?’
‘Less than two weeks. You can close your mouth. I didn’t say it back.’
‘Do you feel it?’
‘I don’t think so, but I like him a lot and I don’t want it to end. Right now, it’s exactly what I need it to be and that’s something without a label.’
Dad laughed. ‘Something without a label? I like that.’ He took a sip of his coffee. ‘You know you can say the word anytime and I’ll fly straight home, don’t you?’ His voice cracked as he said it.
I reached for his hand. ‘I know, Dad.’
He took another sip of his coffee. ‘Much as I don’t want to, I think I’d better go and track down your mother and make sure she’s not working her way across the optics.’
‘She’s been gone about twenty minutes, Dad. She may be on her second trip by now!’
* From Curtis
How’s the event of the year? Everyone asking about the ex?
* To Curtis
Surprisingly not… although I’m sure there’s plenty of whispered gossip ;)
* From Curtis
I challenge you to really give them something to gossip about by another risky liaison in the great outdoors. The gauntlet has been laid down, Red. Do you accept?
* To Curtis
Hmm. Interesting. I accept. When we were having our photos taken in the garden earlier, I spotted a hidden a rose garden with a bench waiting to be christened! xx
Guests had started to move into the bar so the room could be cleared ready for the live band Jess had booked for the evening. Daniel stood up and made his way towards the top table, his eyes fixed on mine. I downed the last sips of champagne, picked up my dolly bag and wrapped it round my wrist, then stood up to meet him, my body fizzing as he ran his hands up my arms and he gently kissed me. ‘Having fun?’ I asked.
‘I am, actually, but I’d be having even more fun if it was just the two of us. I don’t suppose we can escape to our room for some private time, can we?’
I grinned. ‘Hold that thought. I think my bridesmaid duties are over, but I need to check on my mother before I can properly relax.’
Daniel nodded and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze, suggesting he understood. I’d warned him that she liked a few drinks, but I’d shied away from giving him the full details. I’m not really sure what had stopped me from confessing all. Perhaps a gay husband was enough to confess for the early stages of a relationship without throwing in the bleak truth about an alcoholic mother and a damaged childhood.
‘How about I get us both a drink and meet you outside in, say, ten minutes?’ Daniel suggested, turning towards the bar. ‘Will that give you time?’
‘Make it fifteen and I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ve got a big surprise for you.’
‘I can’t wait. I love surprises.’
‘Believe me, you’ll definitely love this one.’
But I never got to give him his surprise because I was about to get a big surprise myself. And not a good one.
Chapter 20
The bar was packed with wedding guests, but no sign of Mother or Dad.
‘Are you looking for someone, dear?’ I turned round to look into the pale watery eyes of my Dad’s older sister, Auntie Grace. ‘You look a bit lost.’
‘I’m looking for Mother and Dad. I don’t suppose you’ve seen either of them, have you?’
She tilted her head to one side and sighed. ‘I’m sorry, dear, but your mother was slightly inebriated and making a bit of a scene. Trevor took her outside.’
She had to do it, didn’t she? She couldn’t just behave for one afternoon and evening. ‘Thanks, Auntie Grace. Which direction?’
‘That way.’ She pointed towards the front of the hotel. It made sense. Guests had spilled out onto the patio running alongside the back of the bar, but there was only a car park out the front. She could create a scene out there without an audience.
I made my way down the stone steps and along the edge of the car park then stopped when I heard their raised voices coming from a grassy area to the side of the building.
‘She’s your daughter, Marian. Can’t you just lay off the drink and show you care for one day? For one special day?’
‘But I don’t care, so why should I pretend I do? If it hadn’t been for the free bar, I wouldn’t have bothered coming.’
I gasped. How cruel could she be? I gingerly peered around the corner. Mother had kicked her shoes off and was lounging on a wooden bench, clutching a hip flask in one hand and a roll-up cigarette in the other. Dad, stood over her, hands over his mouth in obvious shock at what she’d just said.
‘How could you say something like that?’ he cried. ‘She’s your flesh and blood.’
Mother took a swig from her hip flask and shrugged. ‘So?’
Dad shook his head as he looked down at her. ‘What happened to you, Marian? How did you become so bitter and twisted? I look at you like this and I don’t see any of the person I loved in you. Not even a tiny glimmer.’
She laughed bitterly. ‘What happened to me? Do you really need to ask? Kids, Trevor. Bloody kids. Two squawking, demanding, blood-sucking leeches who ruined my life. That’s what happened to me.’
I felt sick. Leaning against the wall, I gasped for breath. I didn’t want to hear any more, yet my feet felt like they were encased in a block of cement, rooting me to the spot.
‘How can you say that? That’s our daughters you’re talking about.’
‘Yeah. Daughters I should never have had.’
‘You wanted kids, Marian. I didn’t force you into it.’
I peeked round the corner again as she took a long drag on her roll-up. ‘It was the done thing, to have kids, but I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for. If I’d had any idea what it was going to be like, I’d have marched you straight down the clinic for the snip. I hated being a mum. Hated it. From the moment Elise was born, I knew we’d made a mistake.’
‘Then why have a second one?’ Dad paced up and down in front of the bench, shaking his head. ‘Why have Jess?’
‘There was never meant to be a Jess. Didn’t you think it strange that I fell pregnant with Elise immediately, but it took six years to conceive again?’
‘No. I assumed it was just one of those things.’
She laughed again. ‘Jesus, Trevor, you’re so bloody naive.’
Dad stopped pacing. ‘What are you saying?’
‘I was on the pill, for God’s sake. There was no way I wanted to spawn another brat. The only way I could cope with Elise was with vodka. Or gin. Both worked for me. Seems I was a bit too pissed to remember to take my pill regularly. Next thing I know, I’m up the duff and that one was worse than the first. Defective heart. Like I had the time and energy to cope with a sickly baby. Now she’s having her own brats and she expects me to be happy about being a grandma. Twins? Yuck.’
I watched in horror as Dad sank to his knees. ‘You never told me,’ he said.
‘Told you what?’
‘That you hated being a mum.’
‘You wouldn’t have listened if I had. You were smitten with them. You didn’t need me anymore. You had your perfect little family.’
‘I did need you. You were my family too.’
‘Yeah, well, I didn’t need any of you.’ She waggled her hip flask in front of his face. ‘This is my family. This is all I need.’ She pulled herself to her feet. ‘Now bugger off and leave me in peace.’ She staggered across the gardens and through an arch in a hedge, disappearing from view.
My heart raced as I debated what to do next. Should I rush forward and comfort him? If I did, he’d know that I’d overheard the ugly truth that my mother hated her own children. Would that hurt him more than the pain of coming to terms with the revelation on his own? I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Yes it would. I needed to leave him to his grief. I slowly edged my way along the side of the building and up the steps, gripping onto the handrail for support.
I needed to be alone while I gathered my thoughts. Spying a high-backed leather armchair tucked away in a dark corner of the reception area, I gratefully sank into it, as my mind whirred with memories of growing up with a bitter alcoholic for a mother. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I unbuckled my sandals and curled my bare feet under me.
Daniel would be waiting for me out the back. I couldn’t face him. I wasn’t strong enough to explain it to him, but I needed to tell someone. Sarah. I couldn’t look for her in case Daniel spotted me. I dug my Blackberry out of my dolly bag and dialled her, but it went straight to voicemail. I tried Nick’s phone, but his did the same. Who else could I speak to? Gary. He’d been by my side through every battle with my mother and would understand exactly how I was feeling. Even better, he’d know exactly what to say to take the pain away. He always had.
‘Elise? Are you OK?’
‘No,’ I sobbed. ‘I need you Gary. It’s my mother. She’s… she said… it was…’ I couldn’t say it aloud.
‘Where are you?’
‘At the wedding.’
‘The Forester’s Arms?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’ll be there in ten minutes.’
I sank back in my seat, clenching and un-clenching my fists as images swam round in my mind of Mother screaming at me, screaming at Jess, screaming at Dad, hurling insults, hurling vases, throwing my treasured wooden jewellery box down the stairs, throwing my dad’s belongings out into the street, burning mine and Jess’ books and toys. I remembered some of the names she’d call us over the years and how distraught Dad had been as he’d tried to cover our ears and whisper reassurances that she didn’t mean it and that he loved us as big as the universe and beyond.
From my hidden corner, I watched Dad shuffle back into the hotel like a broken man. He picked up his room key from reception. He clung onto the bannister and hauled himself up each wooden stair as if he had no strength left in his body. I wanted to run after him and comfort him, but it would break his heart into a thousand pieces to know that I’d overheard their altercation. I couldn’t do it to him.
Waiting on the steps a few minutes later, it felt like my knight in shining armour had arrived when I saw Gary’s Lexus turning into the drive. I ran towards the car, desperate for his comfort. As soon as he’d pulled into a space, he leapt out and wrapped his arms around me. My body racked with sobs as he held me close, stroked my back, and whispered soothing words into my hair. When the tears were spent and I felt ready to talk, we sat in the car and I opened up about what I’d seen and heard.
‘I’m so sorry for ruining your evening, but I couldn’t find Sarah and you were the only one who’d understand.’
Gary squeezed my hand. ‘Forget about my evening. You did the right thing to call me. I know we’re not together anymore and I know I’ve hurt you really badly, but I’ll always be here for you any time you need me. You know that, don’t you?’
I nodded, silent tears raining down my cheeks. He’d told me a lot of lies, but at that moment, I knew he was telling the truth and I felt comforted and safe.
Getting over Gary (Whitsborough Bay Trilogy Book 2) Page 15