‘Ready,’ everyone chorused.
‘Do I have any lipstick on my teeth?’ She barred her teeth and I shook my head.
‘Is my train spread out properly?’
‘It’s perfect,’ Callie said.
Sarah slipped her arm back through her dad’s. ‘Let’s do this!’
The Trumpet Voluntary started. Sarah turned round and grinned at us, then stepped into the church. We’d agreed between us that, as there was no chief bridesmaid, we’d walk down the aisle behind Sarah in alphabetical order so I was last to step into the church. As we slowly made our way down the aisle, I smiled at the adoring looks Sarah drew from both sides of the congregation. I nodded to Jess and Lee, each holding a sleeping baby, and smiled at friends and relatives of Sarah on the bride’s side of the church. Experiencing that sensation of being watched, I looked to my right instead… and straight into Stevie’s eyes. Oh wow! Serious thunderbolt situation.
I couldn’t concentrate throughout the service. I kept stealing glances across at Stevie looking absolutely incredible in his navy morning suit. I’ve always been more of a fan of the casual look, but there’s something about a man in a morning suit or a tux that absolutely does it for me. I kept catching Stevie’s eye, which set off explosions in my stomach again. It was the suit. It was only the suit. And hormones. Yes, the suit, the hormones, the excitement of the day and a tiny sip of bubbly had turned me giddy. That’s all it was. But as we posed for photos outside the church, stood so close to each other that I could feel the heat from his body, I knew it was more than that. And I knew I had to push my feelings aside.
Starting tomorrow.
Chapter 37
It was like Sarah’s birthday all over again when our meal arrived. Brie tartlet. I looked at Clare just as she looked at me. We both cried, ‘Brie!’ then cracked up laughing. I’d had so much in my head over the last few months that I hadn’t given the food choice a second thought. How ironic that it was me who’d selected the vegetarian dishes. Sarah had asked me what I’d like her to order, given that I was ‘the most important vegetarian’ at the wedding.
‘What’s for mains?’ Clare asked.
‘I can’t remember.’ I grabbed the menu and groaned. ‘Field mushrooms stuffed with roasted Mediterranean vegetables and topped with goat’s cheese. I can’t eat goat’s cheese either. Damn! I’m starving.’
‘Pudding?’
‘Tart au citron with raspberry coulis. At last! Something that’s safe to eat.’
‘I hope you like veggies,’ Clare whispered. ‘And bread. Yummy!’
‘Are you okay?’ Stevie knelt down beside me after they’d cleared the starters away with my brie intact. ‘You didn’t eat your starter.’
‘I can’t,’ I whispered. ‘It’s soft cheese.’
‘Of course. Stupid me.’
‘I can’t eat my main either. Thankfully there’s no soft cheese in my dessert.’
‘Poor you. You can have my dessert too if you like. Can’t have you going hungry.’
‘Thanks, Stevie. That’s really sweet of you. I should be able to fill up on vegetables, but I really appreciate the offer.’
‘Just looking out for you and baby,’ he whispered. That intense gaze was there again and my stomach flipped. What would he do if I kissed him right now?
I nipped to the ladies before starting on my tea. When I came out of the cubicle, Clare was waiting for me. ‘You and Stevie,’ she said.
‘What about us?’
‘You like him, so you do. And, when I say like, I mean fancy the arse off him.’
I washed my hands. ‘Is there anything you don’t notice?’
‘Not much. So will you be making your move tonight?’
I shook the water from my hands before reaching for a paper towel. I pointed to my stomach. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think he fancies the arse off you too and that the baby should make sod all difference to you getting together.’
‘But it does. It makes a massive difference. I know he liked me before, but he’s made it pretty clear since that he just wants friendship. The minute he knew about bean, things changed.’
Clare shook her head. ‘Bollocks. People don’t switch off their feelings that easily. Believe me, Stevie still adores you, but if I’m not mistaken, you made it clear that you just wanted friendship so he’s probably holding back because of that. He might be worried about scaring you off if he tries to push for more.’
Could she be right? I’d been very clear that friends was the only thing on offer the day of the surprise visits. But I’d also said in the car that he’d have stood a chance if I’d never fallen pregnant. What I hadn’t made clear was that he still stood a chance. What if that was why he’d fled? What if it had taken him all his courage to ask me the question then I didn’t expand the answer to give him any encouragement? What if he’d been waiting for a sign from me all this time?
‘We’d better get back before my tea gets cold,’ I said.
‘Think about what I’ve said, won’t you?’ Clare reached out and placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘Give him a sign and I guarantee he’ll act on it.’
‘What sort of sign?’
‘I don’t know. Just something to encourage him that you see him as more than a friend.’
When we returned to the table, the conversation had turned to what everyone was planning for Christmas and New Year. ‘What will you do, Clare?’ Philip asked.
‘Absolutely nothing. Christmas is family time. As far as I’m concerned, I have no family. Therefore I don’t do Christmas and I’ve always hated New Year.’
Philip’s face fell. I bet he wished he’d never asked! Although Clare sounded like she couldn’t care less, I detected a slight shake in her voice and I really felt for her. My mother was a waste of space, but at least I had Jess and Dad. What must it be like to have nobody?
‘What about you, Elise?’ Philip asked.
‘I’m going to my sister, Jess, for Christmas.’ I pointed in the direction of the table where Jess and Lee were. ‘Can’t wait to spend it with my baby niece and nephew. My dad’s across from Spain at the moment, so he’ll be there too. Should be lovely. As for New Year, I haven’t really thought that far ahead. What about you?’
We chatted around the table about our plans. Ben tried to convince Clare to join him for a party at a friend’s house on New Year’s Eve, but she was having none of it. He tried to convince her to come to Whitsborough Bay and have Christmas with him and his parents, but she wouldn’t hear of that either. ‘It’ll be strange with no Sarah,’ he pleaded, but she stood her ground. I hoped she wasn’t going to be lonely. It was her decision, though, and I could imagine it was frustrating having everyone nag you into trying to enjoy an occasion with which you really didn’t feel at one.
‘What are you doing, Stevie?’ I asked.
‘I’ll go to my Uncle George’s. He’s the one who had the minor op a little while ago. He’s the only family I have left now so we always spend Christmas Day together. Don’t know about New Year yet either.’
The only family he had left? I hadn’t realised Stevie’s parents had passed away. Why didn’t I know that? Had I been told and forgotten? I’d have to explore further, but now wasn’t the time.
‘What about you, Philip?’ Stevie asked.
‘Kay’s invited me to have lunch with her family, then she’s joining Michael and me for tea.’
‘Then Philip’s taking me away for New Year’s Eve.’ Kay couldn’t hide her excitement. ‘I’ve just found out, but he’s keeping the location secret.’
‘UK or overseas?’ I asked.
‘He won’t tell me that, either.’ Kay giggled. ‘It could be the garden shed for all I care, as long as we’re together.’ She gazed lovingly at Philip and my heart melted. I had no idea things had moved on quite so quickly. Mind you, they wer
en’t getting any younger and they’d both known love before so were certainly going to recognise it when it came along again.
‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ a female voice announced over the microphone, ‘we hope you’ve enjoyed your wedding breakfast. Mr and Mrs Derbyshire would like to welcome you into the bar area for about half an hour. They’ll then invite you back into The Briar Room for their first dance as husband and wife followed by your evening’s entertainment. Thank you.’
Clare stood up and grabbed her wine glass and a part-finished bottle. ‘I’ll be going to freshen up. See you later.’ Without waiting for a response, she marched off.
‘Is she okay?’ Stevie said, staring after her.
I shrugged. ‘Hard to tell. Sarah says Clare gets funny whenever the subject of her family comes up. She never talks about them. I suspect she said too much and needs a bit of time alone. Speaking of family, I’m so sorry about yours. I didn’t know you’d lost your parents.’
He indicated that we should head towards the bar area so I walked beside him, wondering if he’d give any more information or whether I should change the subject. Thankfully he spoke. ‘You don’t know because I don’t usually talk about them. It’s not the first thing you can blurt out as soon as you meet someone and, after that, the timing never seems right.’
Bad timing? Now that was a concept I understood. ‘You don’t have to tell me now if you don’t want…’
‘No. I want to,’ he said. ‘Okay. Here it is. My mum lost her battle with breast cancer when I was fourteen. My parents were devoted to each other and my dad took it really hard. He couldn’t bear to live without her so, two years later, he took his own life and, unfortunately, I was the one who found him hanging in the garage.’
I stopped walking and grabbed his arm, tears rushing to my eyes. ‘No! Stevie. That’s awful.’
‘Uncle George, my mum’s brother, took me in. He’d never married or had children. It must have been tough for him to suddenly have a bereaved hormonal teenager thrust on him, but he was amazing.’
‘I don’t know what to say, Stevie. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for you.’
‘He made a pretty good guardian actually.’
‘I don’t mean living with your uncle.’
Stevie smiled. ‘I know what you mean. I’m being flippant. I’d like to talk about it some more with you, but maybe not today. Today should be a happy day. Do you mind?’
‘Of course not. I just feel so bad that I didn’t know. I’ve had loads of negative things to say about my mother and you’ve probably been thinking I’m a right ungrateful cow to feel that way when you’d lost yours.’
Stevie put his arms round me and kissed the top of my head. ‘I could never think anything like that about you, Elise. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I hope you know that.’
I felt my whole body tingle as he held me close. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming. I moved my head slightly. I have to do this. I have to…
‘Sorry, but could we ask you to move into the bar,’ said a voice. Stevie let me go, apologised to the waiter and did as instructed. Damn! Moment lost yet again!
We joined Ben, Clare, Skye and Stuart in the bar. I got chatting to Ben about my house-hunt and he told me about his new kitchen. The chit-chat seemed very lame after what Stevie had just told me.
After half an hour or so, the wedding compere called us back into the main room for the first dance. The tables had been cleared to the sides, the curtains were drawn and disco lights threw coloured patterns across the floor and walls. Sarah and Nick took to the floor for their first dance.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, Mr and Mrs Derbyshire would love it if you could join them on the dance floor,’ announced the compere as a second ballad played.
I thought about what Clare had said about giving him a sign and turned to Stevie to ask him to dance, but he was already looking at me. Without words, he took my hand, led me onto the dance floor then wrapped his arms round my waist. I put mine round his neck. ‘You look radiant,’ he said.
My stomach flipped over. ‘Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.’ Very, very good. Weren’t the chief bridesmaid and best man meant to get together? Well, the best man was engaged and there was no chief bridesmaid so how about the regular bridesmaid and the usher? I liked the sound of that.
‘Thank you,’ Stevie said.
We moved slowly in silence for a verse. ‘I should have complimented you earlier,’ Stevie whispered. ‘But I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of everyone.’
My heart thumped faster. ‘Thank you,’ I whispered again. Give him a sign! I pulled him a little closer, laying my head on his shoulder. He responded by tightening his grip. I closed my eyes and snuggled further into his shoulder. I heard his breathing quicken. I wanted to kiss him more than I’d ever wanted to kiss anyone before. And I didn’t want to stop there. Was Clare right that he was waiting for a sign from me, something more than holding him more tightly? I’d have to say something, wouldn’t I? But what if she was wrong? What if I suggested something and he turned me down? He’d done that once before and, back then, I barely knew him and certainly hadn’t fallen in love with him. I opened my eyes, loosened my grip, and stepped back. Fallen in love with him? Had I?
‘Are you okay? Stevie still had hold of my arms. He looked concerned.
‘Just a little tired.’ Oh my goodness. I loved him. Really loved him. I had to say something. But that scene in Stardust filled my mind again. What if he rejected me? I couldn’t do it. Not now. I wasn’t brave enough.
I stepped away from Stevie. ‘I may just go to my room and have a lie down for a while. Would you excuse me?’ I needed to think things through. Could I risk making a move tonight or not? Could I take it if he rejected me for a second time?
‘Do you want me to come with you?’ He laughed. ‘To keep you company, not to have a lie down with you. Don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage. Friends don’t do that.’
My heart sank. So that was it, then. He really wasn’t interested. ‘No, it’s okay but thanks. I’ll be back down in an hour.’
When I opened my eyes again, it was to see daylight pouring through a gap in my curtains and a note under my door from Stevie: Didn’t like to disturb you. You must have been exhausted. I have to leave early in the morning so won’t be at breakfast. Happy Christmas xx
Chapter 38
My stomach rumbled as I made my way downstairs to the dining room the following morning. The smell of bacon wafted up to me, making my stomach gurgle. Despite being a vegetarian for sixteen years, I could happily have wolfed down a bacon sarnie at that very moment.
‘What happened to you last night?’ I turned to see Clare descending the stairs behind me.
I shook my head. ‘Disaster. Realised my feelings for Stevie were a bit more than fancying the arse off him as you put it. Went to my room to psyche myself up to doing something about it. Fell asleep. Woke up an hour ago to a note under my door saying he’d gone.’
‘That’s just bollocks bad luck, that is, especially when your man spent the evening moping around waiting for the love of his life to re-appear.’
‘I’m not the love of his life. He just thinks of me as a friend.’
‘Yeah right. Pull the other one.’
We reached the restaurant. Even though I’d received his note, I couldn’t help scanning the room hopefully in case Stevie had had a change of plan. No such luck.
Clare took a seat, but I apologised and headed straight for the buffet table, grabbed myself a croissant, and eagerly took a huge bite on it. The nausea may have gone, but it came back if I didn’t eat regularly and, after a rather sparse dinner last night, I was ravenous.
As I was about to take my next bite, a hand on my shoulder made me jump. Stevie? But it wasn’t. ‘Kay! You frightened me.’
‘Sorry. I
didn’t mean to,’ she said. ‘Especially given your condition.’
I bit my lip. There was no way I could deny it, especially as I knew my shocked expression would have given me away immediately. ‘I …’ But no words came.
Kay sighed. ‘Have you got a minute?’ Without waiting for me to answer, she marched out of the dining room.
I threw a worried look in Clare’s direction. She widened her eyes and shrugged. I took a deep breath and left the dining room. I found Kay in a lounge area full of high-backed armchairs and leather sofas. She indicated that I should close the door. I couldn’t read her expression. Was she angry? Disappointed?
‘How long?’ she asked.
‘Twenty-one weeks.’
She paused. I could tell she was working out the date of conception. ‘Daniel’s?’
‘Yes.’
‘Does he know?’
‘Yes.’
‘Is he interested?’
‘No.’
She shook her head and sighed. ‘No surprise there, then.’
‘Are you angry with me?’
Her face softened. ‘Yes, I am, but not for the reason you think.’ She looked around the room and indicated a pair of chairs in the corner of the room. ‘Let’s sit.’
I realised I was still holding the croissant, although it was now crushed. I lay it on a nearby coffee table and brushed the crumbs off my hands before taking my seat.
Kay sat forward in her chair. ‘I’m not angry with you for falling pregnant or making any sort of judgement about it so please don’t think that for one minute. I’m actually really thrilled for you… if it’s what you want. Although I’m assuming from conversations we’ve had that it is.’
‘It is.’
‘Good. Then congratulations. You’ll make a wonderful mum, Elise, you really will.’
‘Thank you. How did you know? I’d have assumed Daniel told Philip, but you wouldn’t have needed to ask if it was his if that was the case.’
‘Daniel hasn’t breathed a word. I know I haven’t been around much lately, but you don’t live with someone in a two-bedroomed cottage and not notice things. There’ve been changes in your eating habits and your appearance. There’s been no evidence of you having periods and I’ve even heard you being sick. I didn’t have to be Miss Marple to work it out. I didn’t want to ask. I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.’
Getting over Gary (Whitsborough Bay Trilogy Book 2) Page 29